


Assuming We...

by UchihanoChidori



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Angst and Drama, Best Friends, Consensual Kink, Consensual Underage Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Incest, M/M, Multi, POV First Person, Role Reversal, Romance, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:40:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 174,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24076108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UchihanoChidori/pseuds/UchihanoChidori
Summary: "They should just date each other, then," Juugo suggested. Considering Naruto and Sasuke suck at relationships, and both can't stay with one person for long, it sounds like a plan. But falling in love is definitely easier than falling out of it. Sasuke/Naruto, Itachi/Sasuke among other occasional pairings.
Relationships: Inuzuka Kiba/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Sasuke/Other(s), Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto/Other(s)
Comments: 105
Kudos: 90





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, so this is a fanfic I started in 2012 (posted on ff.net) and have recently picked up again! It's the second long fic I ever wrote. 
> 
> Because it has a lot of controversial themes, I almost dropped it several times because of the hate I got about how people were displeased about the ships. But well, It's been 8 years, I've grown up as a a person and a writer and some things don't bother me anymore. I love this story, so I honestly don't give a fuck and will do with it as I please.
> 
> But since I've been working on this diligently for the past month, I thought it would be nice if I finally posted it here so you guys could read it if you're interested. This is probably the fic where you will notice most changes in my writing style as it progresses. I have edited it recently, so it's not as bad it initially was. Lol.
> 
> Either way, I will be posting three chapters per day until it's on par with ff.net. I will also be posting other old works in the next few days, as I read them through and edit them.
> 
> Please take a good look at the tags before reading this fic! If you're just reading for the Naruto/Sasuke, you might be very disappointed. If you're an Itachi/Sasuke faghag like me and are reading exclusively for that, you might like what you see very much, but be disappointed as well if that's all you're looking for. 
> 
> Also, take note that some stuff was written based on how silly/idiotic teenage boys can be (I used to hang out with quite a few), so please don't be offended.
> 
> Don't worry, I have not dropped my other fics, and I AM working on them too!
> 
> If you're sure you want to proceed, well... enjoy!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter One**

_Naruto's POV_

It was just a day like any other – the sun was shining brightly, and the birds chirped happily whilst flying in the skies above.

Single girls would say that it was a perfect day for going out on a date with someone, while girls that actually _had_ someone to go out with would instead be somewhere pretty and convenient, and promptly turn it into the perfect romantic spot to make out with their better halves until their tongues became numb.

It was kind of sickening how people always tended to relate pretty things and good weather conditions to romance. 'Love' doesn't have to be romantic. Romantic things shouldn't be premeditated. People shouldn't expect anything from romance apart from the feeling of being in love.

However, girls - no matter how much they pretended to be mature or how many times they said they didn't care about frivolous things - always ended up wanting to do stupid, mushy stuff like candlelight dinners, holding hands in public and for a guy to openly do and say embarrassing shit to her in front of their friends. They wanted to make love in satin sheets covered by rose petals with soft music playing in the background and many, never-ending moments of passionate monologues about how beautiful they were while staring into each other's eyes.

No matter what they said, girls _always_ expected for a guy to be her most wanted prince charming.

These were things that annoyed the hell out of me back then, and things that I openly complained about to anyone who might or might not want to hear.

Girls' attitudes really bothered me sometimes despite how much I loved them and thought they were unbearably cute.

Still, even though I understood Uchiha Sasuke's own personal annoyance towards the girls _he_ chose to date, I was pretty damn pissed off that, on a wonderful day like that, he just had to go and break up with our mutual friend like they hadn't dated at all for the last three months.

To make it worse, the bastard had the audacity of acting as if it was just another boring day of his goddamn boring life, ordering a fucking huge menu at McDonald's, saying he was 'abnormally famished'.

I decided to ignore the fact that the rest of the guys from our group gave minor importance to the issue that was currently making my nerves boil – after all, they had secretly bet that bastard Uchiha and Sakura-chan wouldn't last a month, let alone three.

It wasn't just the fact that I had dated Sakura-chan for a while two years previously – and still had tiniest crush on her – but also the fact that Sasuke stayed with her for so long out of pity _because_ she was his friend; therefore, in his perspective, she deserved more from him than all the previous idiotic little things that had asked him out before her.

I bet he thought he was being kind and charitable. Yeah, right. If he didn't like her that way, he shouldn't have accepted her confession in the first place.

_Yeah, pretend that she hasn't loved you for longer than you've known she's existed._

_Fucking asshole._

There were eight of us sitting at the largest set of tables near the window and everybody was either eating or chatting loudly about the usual topics every seventeen-year-old boy wanted (or not) to approach: teachers, girls, sex, exams, games, movies, music or sports.

The topic changed constantly above the noise of French Fries being snatched and burgers being unwrapped, but I remained unusually quiet, completely forgetting the habit of exhilaratingly enjoying that time of the day when school was finally over and we were all able to just sit back and hang out before going home.

Instead, I slurped loudly on my drink while staring daggers at the guy across from me, who was also silent – unlike me, that was totally his thing – and acted as if he was alone instead of surrounded by a group of boisterous guys.

I watched him attentively, feeling my chest tight with anger. I had already given him a piece of my mind earlier after Sakura-chan had borrowed my shoulder to cry, but somehow, his relaxed attitude was really getting on my nerves.

Despite having been friends for ten years already and because both our families got along well, there were still a lot of things about him that frustrated me to no end, so we kind of clashed on occasion.

I knew Sasuke probably thought the same thing about me, but still, we were relatively close, we hung out with the same group of people, and still tolerated each other's company more often than we wanted for the sake of our families, even when we didn't see eye to eye. It was kind of hard to avoid him considering his parents' bookstore was right across from my parents' own comic bookstore. We had run our business longer than they had theirs, and there was always a bit of rivalry there, but nothing that deeply disturbed the peace or ruined that constantly blossoming friendship between both families.

Well, to tell the truth, the chemistry had been born from the start between our mothers, but eventually our fathers had managed to get along well, and my mom had developed a healthy and yet disturbing crush on Itachi, Sasuke's at the time 22-year-old big brother who had attended some acting school in Tokyo and had recently become a newly famous young actor.

By then, I was just glad that I had stopped being forced to go on those joined vacations since Sasuke had started spending every holiday we had with his brother. That, and the fact that Sasuke was now a sort of famous clothing catalogue model and most wanted and needed in the big city. He claimed he wanted to try out his thing at acting as well, and I was sure he'd pull it off if Itachi pulled a few strings. Even if he didn't, I was sure Sasuke would thrive based on his looks alone.

Not that I'd tell him that.

One of the reasons why I was happy about our occasional distance was the fact that, despite how many times Sasuke and myself had insulted each other and actually engaged in some serious fist fighting over the years, I didn't exactly dislike him as much as told him I did, even if he did, truly and honestly, piss the hell out of me most of the times.

Not that I would ever admit it, of course.

But all in all, I can't say that we weren't good friends. We had each other's backs. We trusted each other and helped each other out when necessary. Without a doubt, we were like family, so we both knew we could rely on each other. He was an asshole, but a brutally honest one, much like me. Maybe that was the reason why certain attitudes got to me more than they probably should - because maybe I always expected more of him.

Uchiha Sasuke was the kind of person girls fawned all over and guys wanted to be friends with. He was attractive, smart and good at everything he did, mostly because he worked hard to achieve his goals. He had the personality of someone who either thought they were better than anyone else or just simply didn't give a shit. I prefer to believe the second option to be true, but maybe that would just mean he was an even bigger asshole.

He was the kind of guy that attracted people to him without doing anything at all. I suppose we were similar in that aspect.

Every single day I was confronted with the reality of why that happened. Being in his circle of friends certainly made the mysterious magic about him disappear and turn him into one of us stupid and rather reckless teenagers rather than some higher entity.

Still, sometimes he smiled and unwillingly released his magical fairy powder that somehow charmed us all – he was so serious most of the times that in the rare occasions he did smile it seemed like the world stopped and he became someone completely different, and somehow, infuriatingly more attractive.

_Sometimes_ , he would burp like the rest of us dirty pigs and stuff his face with the worst kinds of foods. _Sometimes_ , he would go out with us and get trashed and pretend like he was an idiot like Kiba and I. _Sometimes_ , he would help us with homework. _Sometimes,_ he was a decent guy.

Just… it was such a shame that it was just _sometimes_.

"Girls are a hassle," Kiba was saying loudly beside me, waving his burger in front of his face as if he was giving us some big intellectual speech. "No matter how cute, hot, rich or smart they are, they all end up dreaming about something completely different from what we really are."

"Dat's fo true…" Chouji agreed sadly beside him, mouth full of chicken nuggets.

"Nah, Kiba; you're only saying that because girls can't stand your ugly mug," Suigetsu, who was at the end of table remarked with a vicious smile while leaning forward to peek at him.

"Shut your trap, you knife freak!" Kiba drawled, giving him the finger and making the other laugh.

"Is that what Sakura-chan did, Sasuke?" I asked with annoyance, still frowning deeply at said guy. "Expected you to be her prince charming?"

Sasuke's eyes were the darkest, most indistinguishable color ever. They were beautiful in a harsh, knowing kind of way that effectively concealed his thoughts and emotions perfectly, and yet, made it possible for us to see his brain constantly working to make the right move. He reminded me of the poker players one saw on TV: calculating, careful and meticulous.

This side of him made him look a lot like his older brother, too.

"Let me put it this way," he said nonchalantly, while pale and elegant fingers worked in un-wrapping his burger calmly. "My problem with girls revolves around the fact that once I start dating them, they spend too much time _trying_. They try to look beautiful and perfect. They try to be interesting; they try to be sexy. They build these ideas that I like shit I have no idea where they heard it from and work themselves to death to model after what they _think_ I want."

"I don't really think that's bad at all," Kiba intervened, grinning.

"I kind of get the idea they become prototypes of some sort," Shikamaru drawled lazily from beside him, dipping two fries inside the small ketchup recipient.

"Something like that." Sasuke shrugged indifferently. "Instead of getting to know each other, I am constantly listening to 'Sasuke-kun, do I look pretty? Do you like my dress? I heard you like high heels. There's this really romantic place we should totally go to. I baked you some cookies. You should meet my parents. Let's hold hands. Why don't you hug me more often?'"

Sasuke shook his head tiredly, causing his bangs to shade his features slightly. Then, he used his wrist to push them back. "They try so hard to be fucking perfect it's annoying and I don't get to know them at all. And then there's the starvation for affection as if they need fucking physical contact to feel reassured that we're a couple. As if the fact that I said 'yeah, I'll date you' isn't reassurance enough."

"If you weren't such a fucking ice block I'm sure they wouldn't feel the need to try to make you look at them!" I accused, crossing my arms over my chest and receiving a cold glare from him in return.

"You're one to talk about relationships," he snapped. "You're the most unsatisfied person I've ever met!"

"He's got a point," Kiba pointed out, nodding seriously.

"He does not!" I yelled, eyeing my best friend with disbelief.

"You're always going on about how the people you date lack sense of humor and how they can't keep up with your pace in life," Sasuke retorted, setting down his burger and roughly picking up a napkin from his tray to clean his hands with.

"And in bed," Shino, who had been silent since we left school, intervened, sounding as if he was saying something deeply philosophical in his deep voice.

"That's got nothing to do with anything," I muttered, feeling upset at the fact that everyone seemed to be taking the bastard's side. "I just haven't met the right person yet, but no one sees me dating everything that walks in our school."

"I _don't_ do that," Sasuke defended, mimicking me and crossing his arms with a defiant look. "I _am_ selective in my choice of partners."

"What was wrong with Sakura-chan, anyway?" I growled, feeling more frustrated by the minute.

"There was nothing _wrong_ with her; the relationship was lacking chemistry on my part," Sasuke said, with a shrug of his shoulders.

"No chemistry?" Kiba laughed so loudly my ears rang unpleasantly. "Are you frigid or something, Uchiha? Sakura's, like, one of the hottest and smartest chicks in our school! What the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

"Maybe she's a lousy lay?" Suigetsu suggested, still smiling with those sharp teeth showing. Urgh, how could that weirdo be Sasuke's right hand man? Seriously, he was the most freakish guy in the world. "I mean, Sasuke is so _not_ frigid. Karin told me stuff of when they were dating, and the stuff they used to…"

"Say one more word, Suigetsu, and I'll shove my wrist down your throat," Sasuke threatened coldly, a very small blush coloring his attractive features in anger. Silently, I agreed with him because listening to details about Karin - my cousin's - sex life, was not something I wanted.

"Aww, you're all talk and no bite, man."

"Can we please stop talking about unnecessary things?" Juugo muttered with a soft sigh. Shikamaru all but nodded his agreement.

"Now that I'm thinking about it, what was your sexual orientation again?" Chouji asked me in a thoughtful way.

"He's pansexual," Sasuke drawled, almost in a boring way.

I turned my head towards him when he said this, partially out of surprise since he was the last person I'd ever think would remember the correct term for my so-called 'situation'. I had only come out to my close friends about it the previous year, I couldn't expect such a complicated term to have stuck with them. Then again, Sasuke seemed to absorb information like a sponge, it shouldn't be so surprising coming from him, and yet, it was.

"Ah, yeah…" I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck.

"What the hell is that?" Suigetsu asked, looking positively confused.

"It means he's attracted to a person as an individual rather than the gender, or their sexuality or something like that," Shikamaru explained simply, looking at Suigetsu reproachfully. "Go get some culture, you."

"It's like being bisexual, then?" The other said while frowning and biting on the straw of his drink.

"No, man; it means he's attracted to a person's personality rather than the way they look," said Kiba, grinning at me as though he was the smartest person alive. "The person can be a guy, a girl, a transsexual or a hermaphrodite or whatever, really. It's all about… well, whatever floats his boat I guess."

"Just for the record, and to keep it simple, I like people in general," I defended, too loud for my own comfort, but at least managing to say it confidently.

"Didn't you date a transvestite once?" Sasuke asked, smirking. The bastard was fucking teasing me. He just had to be so happy that the drama was all focused on _me_ now.

I made an outraged sound with my nose. "Haku was _not_ a transvestite! He was just a very pretty guy," I said, sticking out my tongue to him. "He had fine taste in fashion, mind you; plus, he was prettier than you, and probably a lot better lay too."

"He still had a dick," Kiba joked, good-naturedly enough for me to not feel offended. Everyone snickered at that as his arm surrounded my shoulders playfully.

"His dick didn't bother me in the slightest." I tried to shrug Kiba off, but he wouldn't let go.

"You still like diiiiick," Kiba chanted happily, making me roll my eyes, which wasn't something I did often.

"He was by far the best person I've ever been with, but that goddamned old man just had to steal him away…"

Sasuke was looking at me with evident amusement now. Having regained his appetite, he was now nibbling on his fries. "You're still into that guy?" he questioned, tilting his head to the side. With my eyes narrowed, I watched him as he brought a couple more fries to his mouth.

"No, but I'm still into that chick you just dumped, asshole."

Sasuke's smirk became challenging. "You can have her all to yourself, then."

"It doesn't work like that, and she doesn't like me that way, so it's useless."

"Then leave me and my love life alone, you idiot," he retorted.

"I just don't like the carefree way you're dealing with this, or the way you talk about her!" I snapped.

"What the fuck do you want me to…?"

"Dude… you have some serious issues!" Suigetsu interrupted, chuckling exuberantly at us.

"I don't have issues!" I fumed, throwing my hands up in the air and consequently managing to get Kiba off me. "What is it with you people and my sex life, anyway?"

"When someone as required as Sasuke and yourself can't seem to get serious with anybody, it's only natural that people would want to talk about it," Shikamaru muttered, eyeing the both of us with a small thoughtful pout. "There has to be something terribly wrong with the two of you."

"They should just date each other, then."

Our table – which had been previously roaring with conversation, laughter and all kinds of weird exhilaration sounds – was struck with a knife cutting silence at Juugo's innocent and un-reflected words.

All eyes turned to the biggest guy in our table with a speed that matched the one of electricity itself. Juugo eyed us all with an inquisitive look as if he didn't understand our reactions at all.

I felt the blood quickly draining from my cheeks. I didn't look at Sasuke because I was too dumbfounded to do so, but I assumed that he was as tense as we all were, and his chin had probably fallen like mine.

Slowly, but consistently, everyone's gaze shifted from Juugo to us, and Sasuke and I shivered in horror at the same time.

I turned my head to look at Sasuke and noticed him already looking back with the same awe I felt.

"That…" Suigetsu whispered as though he had just made a brilliant discovery. "Has got to be the best fucking idea anyone has ever had."

TBC…


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not betaed. Sorry if stuff is weird, I did my best ;^;

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Two**

_Naruto's POV_

If there was one thing most people didn't know about Uchiha Sasuke was that he had a very dangerous weakness that not many could take advantage of. That weakness was called _money_.

Don't get me wrong, he wasn't a big spender or anything like that. Sasuke only worked as a model whenever the agency in Tokyo needed him, and even though he was one of the most popular models there, he was still building his career at a very slow pace – which meant that what they paid him was more than welcomed, but didn't come nearly as often as I'm sure he wished it did. Apart from that, like me, he worked part-time at his parents' shop after school.

Sasuke controlled his earnings well and never wasted money on frivolous things. He never told anyone about this, but his mom once told my mom that Sasuke was saving money to leave our small town once he graduated and move to Tokyo. Apparently, he had at some point decided being a doctor as Fugaku-san – his dad – wanted didn't sit well with his plans for the future. No one knew exactly what he wanted to do with his outstanding grades, but Sasuke didn't seem to worry much about it either; he only wanted to be able to provide for himself and pay for his own studies so that he could be the one responsible for his own future. It was sort of obnoxious, and I'm sure Fugaku-san was very confused about his feelings towards his son's perspective of life. Although, I guess he felt rather upset, but somehow proud. Every parent wants an ambitious, hardworking son.

Probably motivated by Itachi's own encouragement, Sasuke wanted to go to Tokyo to experience new things in the entertainment area. He had always admired his older brother's willpower when it came to be doing whatever he pleased with his life – after all, Itachi had been Fugaku's first disappointment when he gave up Law to study the arts.

So, of course, Sasuke wanted to follow his brother's footsteps without being a burden to him once in the big city.

That was why he never passed on a chance to earn some money as long as it was decent and remotely legal.

Suigetsu, who claimed to be Sasuke's best friend (which I think was something up for debate), knew this better than anyone else, and being the fucker that he was, he knew exactly how to use it.

"I would _totally_ pay to see that," Suigetsu said, grinning evilly and thus causing the rest of the table to erupt in cheerful laughter that echoed throughout the restaurant.

To my surprise, Sasuke himself had recovered from the initial shock and had started chuckling, even though he lowered his head and put his hand on front of his mouth to disguise it. For some reason, seeing him taking it so lightly made the odd constriction in my chest disappear as I found myself laughing as well.

Who could possibly think about something like that and not find it hilarious?

"So would I," Shikamaru laughed, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "Seriously, Sasuke; you have some weird friends."

Sasuke actually smirked at that and shrugged, clearing his throat to regain his usual nonchalant composure.

"These two wouldn't work out even if they were the last two people on earth!" Kiba said good humoredly, elbowing me a little too roughly on the ribs. "Right, Naruto?"

"Oh, I don't know; he _has_ been putting up with my shit for years now," I said, playing along since, apparently, the topic had put us all in high spirits. "And he's not that bad to look at either."

Kiba whistled, Chouji choked a little on his coke and Shino shook his head disbelievingly. Suigetsu laughed even harder as Sasuke looked at me, a rather curious expression in his eyes.

"Juugo has got to be some kind of genius, 'cause we're getting some really juicy stuff out of this conversation," Kiba said, turning to me quickly and resting his chin on his fist, looking genuinely interested. "Do you happen to have a crush on Uchiha or something, Naruto?"

"Yes, _dead last_ , please do tell us," Sasuke mocked, leaning back on his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. The conceited way he eyed me made me feel all the more daring.

"I usually disregard people's looks, but since that's about all you have going for you, I have to compliment you on at least that," I mocked back, enjoying the way his eyebrows tilted upwards at my words. Secretly, I wondered why that arrogant face had to be so stupidly handsome.

"Well, you could've told me you found me hot sooner." Sasuke pretended to watch his nails with interest then, but I knew him well enough to know he was getting some kick out of that absurd banter.

"Why? So you could've found out you were gay for me sooner?" I teased, wagging my eyebrows at him suggestively a few times, causing him to roll his eyes and Kiba to pretend he was vomiting all over his tray.

"Oh, please, no flirting at the table!" Kiba pleaded dramatically, covering his ears with an anguished face. "Don't remind me that you like dick, dude!"

"No, moron, I would've found more ways to tease you into annoyance sooner," Sasuke intervened, addressing me and ignoring Kiba's wails.

He was smiling – it was a sort of detached smile, almost like forcefully implanted on his face, but his eyes were staring into mine with an odd intensity and I realized that this small play between the two of us had somehow managed to open the doors to a new level of intimacy since we had never joked about this kind of thing before. Probably because my sexuality was hard for Sasuke's dad to understand, and because the rest of the guys tended to act all macho as if it had anything to do with it, we rarely talked about it, let alone make jokes and tease. I knew Sasuke had been okay with me being pansexual since he had first heard about it, but I had never really understood what were Sasuke's feelings about such things. Mostly, I thought it didn't bother him, but at the end of the day, he was heterosexual and couldn't really grasp certain things about me or the way I saw the world.

This was a refreshing change for sure. It almost felt liberating, to be able to joke around like this with him.

It was something new between us and we both understood it despite everyone else seeming ignorant about it. I couldn't blame them since, at the end of the day, Sasuke and I were the childhood friends of the group.

I felt my own smile waver slightly, a weird feeling I couldn't quite identify assaulting me. My gaze shifted from Sasuke's eyes to his lips, that were thin but rosy, and I watched as if in slow motion his own smile falter. When our eyes met again, I couldn't read his expression at all.

"I think there's some chemistry going on there," Chouji commented playfully, probably having noticed our silent exchange.

"Sasuke might've just found out he has a homo streak in him," Kiba replied with a snicker. He had been poking my side for a while, trying to get my attention, so I slapped his hand away.

No, there was no chemistry. Or maybe there was? Since this was new between us, I'm not sure what it was, but it wasn't caused by me thinking that Sasuke was attractive – I had always been aware of that – and it wasn't caused by the fact that he was staring at me like _that_. I could see him thinking, doing the math inside his head, but I couldn't even begin to wonder what he might possibly be thinking about.

"You know; I meant it when I said I would pay to see it."

I noticed everyone's attention shifting to Suigetsu, but I couldn't look away from Sasuke. Sasuke might've noticed this because he sighed and decided to look away first, dark eyes gazing out the window as if suddenly bored. Or upset.

Swallowing hard, I tried my best to act natural and focus my attention on Suigetsu as well. What was he saying again?

"How much would the two of you want?" Sasuke's friend asked, looking straight at me. He was still grinning, but his tone was business-like, which caused everyone to shut up to witness the development of the situation.

"For what?" I had to ask, confused.

"For you guys to kiss," Suigetsu clarified, with a disgusting grin. "You and Sasuke."

Now, everybody knew Suigetsu came from a wealthy family. His father was rumored to be the leader of some Yakuza family and was rarely around, so Suigetsu – who lived with his extravagant mother – was more than used to having whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, no matter the cost or how hard it could be to get. Paying up for some stupid dare was like giving out peanuts to him.

"That's just sick!" Kiba yelled, horrified. Everyone else looked expectant besides Juugo, who seemed slightly intrigued.

My first instinct was to laugh – Suigetsu had to be fucking kidding.

"Make us an offer," Sasuke said, surprising us all – and he sounded dead serious too – wasting no time in looking at me with his eyebrows raised as if to ask me if I agreed.

"Deal!" Suigetsu said, excitedly, immediately searching his pockets for his wallet.

"Huh?" It was all that came out of my mouth, my smile suddenly crooked at the sides as I blinked at my childhood friend.

"I'm game if you are, moron," Sasuke said. Why did he sound so… natural?

I stared at Sasuke in bewilderment and received a slight tilt of the head in return. This situation amused him immensely, I could tell.

It wasn't every day that one got the chance to witness Uchiha Sasuke being remotely human and more than ready to act a little reckless with another guy, and yet, he seemed pretty comfortable with the idea.

I know I should've been worried about Sakura-chan and feeling undignified on her behalf, but truth was, I felt too fascinated about Sasuke being willing to do something like that with me to even remember that unfortunate detail

Suigetsu was rummaging through his wallet then, finally taking out a few bills. He lifted them up for us to see, and boy, even split in two that was a good amount of cash.

"Sure," I conceded good humoredly, shrugging indifferently despite feeling a little sheepish. After all, I would be the first guy to kiss one of the most desired guys from our town. Sasuke should feel proud that someone as hot as me was even playing along, too; it wasn't just _his_ ego that was at stake.

"Are you serious?" Kiba interjected, looking from me to Sasuke quickly. "Shikamaru, do something!"

"Leave me out of this," Shikamaru said with a heavy frown, waving his hand dismissively. "You guys are so troublesome."

Sasuke all but smirked at me in a way that made my heart skip an unpleasant beat. I wondered vaguely if he had used that same expression to seduce someone, but the thought itself of him bothering that much was appalling. Not that he needed to bother, of course, since all he had to do was exist, basically, and girls (and probably a few dudes, too) would happily throw their underwear at him.

Everybody remained silent apart from Suigetsu, who was busy waving the bills at us cheerfully as if to reassure us that he would keep his part of the bargain before setting them on the tray in front of him.

When my eyes met Sasuke's again, I found them a lot closer than they had been before. Apparently, he had already risen from his seat and was promptly leaning over me, dark, bluish bangs billowing slightly over his face. I tilted my head upwards, a little taken aback by his sudden proximity but somehow not taking the time to dwell on it for too long because he then leaned forward and promptly pressed his closed mouth to mine.

I kept my eyes opened just to make sure he wouldn't try something funny, only to find out that he had his own opened too. I would glare at him challengingly if only I could focus my eyesight.

It didn't really take long just three or four seconds. Still, it had been enough for me to feel how soft his lips were. They were warm, too, and surprisingly tender considering how thin they appeared to be.

It was over as quickly as it started and he pulled away with a small suction noise, not really moving away from me.

"You're supposed to kiss back, dead last," Sasuke said sarcastically, and so I did just that – rising slightly from my seat, I pecked his mouth as chastely as he had pecked mine before sitting down once more. Sasuke smirked again, nodded, and sat down as well.

The table was deadly quiet; six pairs of eyes staring at the both of us, and the restaurant itself seemed to have gained some sort of solemn atmosphere. Personally, I was feeling very… normal. I wasn't freaking out at all, not a drop of awkwardness in me.

Was _that_ even normal? I _was_ supposed to feel embarrassed, troubled or something. But it had felt pretty much as normal as eating a burger was normal.

Weird.

"Ewww…" Kiba said, after a while, looking a little disgruntled.

"That's it?" Suigetsu asked, clearly disappointed. "It's a lot of cash at stake here, at least properly make out a little!"

"You didn't exactly establish rules or terms," Sasuke pointed out cleverly, looking abnormally pleased with himself. "Now pay up, sucker."

Chouji laughed at that, and so did I. Eventually, as Suigetsu threw the bills to the center of the table, the mood lightened up as Kiba thought it would be funny – he probably did it for my sake – to mock Suigetsu and his bad negotiation skills. Of course, not only thirty seconds had gone by and the group was already making fun of the whole situation like it was no big deal.

In truth, it wasn't.

I picked up said bills, took my share and handed the rest over to Sasuke, who folded them and pocketed them with a satisfied smile in my direction. "Pleasure doing business with you," he said.

I couldn't help but to smile back since these kinds of moments – where we were in perfect sync - were rather rare between us.

It wasn't a big deal at all. Nothing had changed. But the aftereffect had the most surprising feeling of comfort and satisfaction I'd had in a long, long time.

I almost felt stupid for having ranted at him so much about Sakura-chan.

For a while, I just sat back and listened to Suigetsu's protests, hardly noticing how it had become hard not to glance at my childhood friend now and again.

OOO

After Sasuke and I had parted ways with our friends, the walk from McDonald's back to the street where both our parents' shops were located was spent in familiar silence.

The sun was setting slowly over the buildings of our small town, painting them in gentle tones of red and orange.

Absently, I reminded myself that this was the kind of routine we had been doing for so many years now that it seemed as normal as breathing. It's not like Sasuke and I had to talk unless it was strictly necessary, but I never liked silence all that much, so I generally babbled to my heart's content. However, this silence was comfortable as it was all the same, and it was weird thinking about it because I had never really noticed how easy it was being around him before.

For a long time, Sasuke had always been there, whether I liked it or not.

He had always been there for any party we've ever thrown; always there on our vacations; always there in the same class as me – although I'm sure that was just my mom's fault since she always wanted someone to 'keep an eye' on me – always across the street, rolling his eyes at me from his shop whenever I slacked off; always waiting for me for us to go to school together and return home at the end of the day.

It was all so natural that I had never noticed that, despite not being the best of friends, he had always been present, somehow.

How ridiculous.

I shoved my hands inside the pockets of my pants and glanced at him sideways.

It was not like I had warmed up to him since our time at McDonald's – I was still pissed in Sakura-chan's behalf – but somehow there was something else entirely nagging me ever since that whole conversation about girls, dating, and the misconceptions about my sexuality.

That small smile that had appeared on his lips when I mentioned Haku was engraved inside my mind. That, and the astonishing fact that he, of all people, had remembered the correct term for what I am when not even Kiba, my best buddy, remembered it. Of course, Sasuke was some kind of genius, but still…

And the kiss.

It hadn't been anything extraordinary, just something as boring and as ordinary as a smooch, but I still couldn't believe Sasuke actually had the balls to go through with it. I mean, it was bastard with the largest stick in the world stuck up his ass we're talking about.

Even so, it had been rather nice – especially for me, who hadn't had any kind of physical interaction in a while.

The way he walked beside me was calm but confident. His eyes were trained on some invisible spot in front of him and his relaxed but emotionless features gave him the air of someone lost in some kind of private dream world. With one hand grabbing the strap of his backpack and another shoved inside the pocket of his uniform's dark blue jacket, he really did look kind of cool.

No, that was all wrong. The guy was sheer physical perfection from head to toe – no wonder he was a model – and to some extent, he was perfect boyfriend material, what with his brains and the fact that he came from a respectful family and all that. He would most certainly do well in life, I knew that.

Anyone would like a piece of _that_ if they overlooked his foul personality; that was for sure. In different circumstances, if we didn't know each other, I'd make a pass at him for sure.

It's just that, as things were, I personally had never thought about me and Sasuke ever being involved for so many reasons I couldn't even begin to list them. Of course, I acknowledged he was very attractive, and I, as healthy teenager who happened to like the same gender, had obviously ogled him more times than I can count, but without any sort of serious intention or perverted thoughts. Sasuke was family, and in many things, he had felt very unapproachable to me in those terms It just sounded… wrong? Unbalanced? His dad would definitely not approve.

But now that the suggestion came – even if as a joke – I couldn't help but wonder about it. Sasuke had always had my back in spite of our differences, but this was a whole new world that seemed to be begging to be explored with him.

Or better yet, it was more like morbid curiosity than anything else. What could possibly come out of it? How would we interact with each other in those terms? I mean, really, how could anyone even think about him and I being together when we were always fighting and were complete opposites?

Not only that, we both had issues when it came to relationships. All the girls or guys I had dated had either expected too much out of me in the end or had lacking qualities that were needed for things to work out.

And Sasuke… well, girls did everything he wanted and more, but my guess was he was the one lacking – in passion and in willpower. Like me, he seemed to be endlessly searching for something that no girl, no matter how much they claimed they loved him or how much they tried to please him, seemed to have. I knew what I was looking for, but when it came to him, his needs were a mystery to me.

We didn't hate each other. We were close, to an extent. We were friends, we were just…

_We were_. It was a fact, a sure thing. No matter what would happen in the future, unless our parents got into a serious fight or something, Uchiha and Namikaze were two names that were fated to associate.

_'You should just date each other, then.'_

It had been said as a joke. The bad part of it all was that, for once, Sasuke and I seemed to have taken the same course of action: we had remained horrifyingly silent as they threw absurdities to our faces and had a laugh about it.

Why not say a word? I don't know. Shock, probably. But mostly, wonder.

Did Sasuke wonder about it too?

Juugo's words kept ringing in my ears ever since he had said them, and it wasn't what he said, but the easy way he said it, like it was normal. As if, considering both of our personalities, dating each other was the obvious solution to our relationship problems.

Maybe I was over thinking too much. Why was I doing that, anyway? Hadn't the effect of that joint I smoked at lunchtime worn out yet?

There was no way something like that could ever work between us, and Sasuke would definitely kill me if he even knew what I was thinking about.

The walk to our destination seemed to have lasted forever in that silence that didn't seem so normal after all. I hadn't opened my mouth once, and if Sasuke was affected by it, he did nothing to express it.

Once we were in front of his parents' shop, he waved at me absently without really looking at me, muttering a simple 'see ya tomorrow' before putting his hand over the glass door and pushing it open. I only had time to repeat his words before he got inside the shop without looking back.

For the first time in all those years we had known each other, I kind of contemplated on how utterly distant he looked and sounded at that moment, and how, like many things about him, that fact pissed me off.

I sighed. When Mikoto-san waved at me from inside the shop with her usual sweet smile on that beautiful face Sasuke had inherited, I realized I felt very tired for some reason, but ended up waving back at her while forcing a smile.

If only the bastard had his mother's personality.

No. There was no way Sasuke and I could ever engage in that kind of relationship, so I figured I might as well stop wondering about it and pretend no one had ever mention it at all.

I turned around and quickly crossed the road, headed for my own shop, the one my parents ran. Like Sasuke, I still had to help my mom with the family business.

Resolute about putting that whole afternoon behind my back, I too pushed open the door to our shop, more than ready to occupy my mind for the next few hours.

Only it wasn't as easy as it seemed.

_Sasuke's POV_

I was lying on my stomach on my bed, my English book opened in front of me as I wrote on it automatically. English homework was always easy, but the damned teacher insisted on also assigning never-ending pages for us to read at home so that we could debate them in class the next day.

I still had to read all those texts, but doing the exercises she had assigned were more important for the time being.

I was halfway through that specific task when my cell phone rang beside me, the screen shining brightly and creating quite the contrast with the dark pillow it was lying on. It rang for about two seconds and then stopped.

Figuring it was someone who had dialed the wrong number or something, I didn't bother to check it, so I kept doing what I was doing.

A few seconds later, it rang again. It caused me to still the movements of my pencil because, this time, it lasted for about five seconds before stopping.

Frowning, I adjusted my position before reaching out to pick it up. It rang again, but stopped immediately before I had time to wrap my fingers around the device.

_What the hell?_

I grabbed the phone with slow, cautious gestures of my left hand and was about to check out who was the idiot that kept calling and giving up – Sakura, maybe – when it rang again, vibrating wildly in my palm.

_'Namikaze Moron'_ was the name displayed on the screen. That idiotic fool was probably pulling one of his stupid pranks on me just to piss me off, as usual.

I huffed and before he even had time to hang up once more, I pressed the green button and brought the phone to my ear.

"Stop that or I'll never pick up your calls again," was my threat. I made sure it sounded annoyed, cold and dead serious so that he would understand I really was in no mood for games.

I expected to hear him giggle stupidly and say something like 'Aw, you're no fun!'

When only silence followed it, I breathed sharply through my nose and waited for some kind of absurd surprise, like that time when Kiba purchased this mechanical thing that made people sound like fucking Jigsaw from 'Saw' and they both decided that calling me and saying creepy shit through it would be funny.

However, nothing came.

"Naruto?" I tried calling out again and only then did I hear something from the other side – It was a soft chuckle that sounded a little nervous.

_"Sasuke, hey!"_ he greeted, with a cheerfulness that sounded terribly artificial. _"How are you doing?"_

"As fine as I was a few hours ago," I replied, rolling my eyes at nothing in particular. "Were you just being an idiot, or do you actually need something?"

_"Oh, huh… no… I mean, yes…"_

My left eyebrow quirked upwards at his sudden stuttering.

_"Wait… I mean, sorry I kept hanging up,"_ he muttered, still forcing a weak laugh. _"I just… are you busy?"_

"Yes," I replied, heaving a sigh. "I'm doing my homework, and you should be doing yours, because I sure as hell am not letting you copy it tomorrow."

He chose to ignore me, as usual, and instead asked _"Can we talk?"_

"About what?"

Thankfully, he knew I liked straightforwardness and avoided beating around the bush. _"I was thinking about what Juugo said, and…"_

The strangest thing happened then. I stopped listening to him as shock froze my whole body. Before I knew what I was doing, I had pressed the red button on the screen and hung up on him.

It wasn't that I was angry or anything. I don't really know what it was, but I didn't want to think about it again – nor about the fact that I had kissed him, for that matter – after having spent the rest of the afternoon considering the stupidest things about that matter. I had just managed to shut down that newly found handicapped part of me and was very much willing to keep it locked and away.

Hopefully, Naruto would understand that I did not wish to be reminded of Juugo's suggestion ever again.

No such luck. The phone rang again.

I could've just ignored it and gone back to my homework, but somehow, answering the phone was as an irrational of an action as hanging up on him had been.

His voice sounded slightly angry. _"You didn't let me finish, bastard!"_

"I'm sorry, am I supposed to think that it's normal that you would even consider talking about it?" I asked, and my own tone was more sarcastic than it was reproachful.

_"Aren't you even a bit curious?"_ He sounded like he was pouting.

"Is there something I should feel curious about, Naruto?" I snapped.

_"I don't know! It's normal to feel curious about… about us. About being with a guy."_

"I'm hanging up."

_"No, don't! It's just…"_

"Did I ever give you the impression that if I ever considered being gay for someone, that same someone would be you?"

I ignored just how counter defensive I felt then in spite of my tone remaining calm, but crude. I had no intention of sounding homophobic (because I really wasn't) but I somehow didn't want him to get the wrong idea. I didn't want him to think that I had feelings for him or something, because I didn't. That was not why I had thought about us at all.

_"Well, no, but…"_

"Then I think that settles it."

_"Aw, come on, Sasuke!"_ He sounded offended, or maybe it was frustration? _"You're so fucking infuriating! Why are you like that?"_

"I was told I take after my father," I joked dryly, even though my voice sounded apathetic even to my own ears.

_"I don't care who you take after!"_ He roared, furiously, surprising me a little since he definitely wasn't the kind of person to burst out like that. _"I've been driving myself crazy thinking about this ever since Juugo brought it up! It took a lot of balls to talk to you and you're being an ass about it! I wish it was Sakura-chan that had broken up with you because you are so not worth the fucking time!"_

A long 'beeeep' followed his angry monologue indicating that he had been the one to hang up on me this time, and all I could do was stare at my cell phone with my eyes almost popping out of my skull in disbelief.

It took a while for me to move from that position and for my brain to start functioning normally again. I couldn't think about anything at all, it was like my mind had become a white sheet of paper.

After what felt like hours, I closed my English book, pencil resting amidst the pages, and shoved it aside before turning to lie on my back over the pillows.

I kept staring at my cell phone like it was something from another world as my emotional system began to work again. I suddenly felt guilty.

After all, I had been thinking about the exact same thing as him but refrained from letting it consume me. But Naruto was too sentimental, too attached to living a good life to let the subject drop. I should've known that he would feel curious – especially after we had somewhat kissed - and that his consciousness would plague him with 'what ifs' and 'pros' and 'cons'.

He deserved some credit for having the guts to approach me on the subject – I knew perfectly well that I was kind of a difficult person.

Besides…

I still had a long way to go as far as my little 'problem' was concerned. Naruto would never cross my mind in different circumstances, but now that he himself had considered it, I couldn't help but wonder how something like that would turn out.

So, I pressed the green button once more to find his phone number on the income calls and pressed it once more. He didn't take long to pick up but remained silent, his heavy breathing letting me know he was still fuming.

"I didn't mean to be an ass," I said, not really feeling up to apologizing, but making sure my tone expressed the intention.

_"You're an ass 24/7, no news there,"_ he replied grumpily.

Only silence followed his words and I was forced to clear my throat to try to make something out of that absurd attempt at conversation.

"Why do you want to do this?" I ended up asking, eyes closing. "What makes it sound like such a good idea?"

_"It doesn't,"_ he said, huffing in annoyance. _"In fact, it might just be the craziest thing anyone has ever considered doing, but the truth is, we're both looking for something I'm not really sure what it is. That kiss today was… well, I guess I was surprised to see you're not as limited as you always pretended to be and… maybe we both need to expand our horizons, you know?"_

"So, you thought maybe I'd be okay with going out with you?" I muttered, putting my arm over my eyes. "That's a little hypocritical and rushed coming from someone who wouldn't leave me alone about the end of my relationship with Sakura."

_"It's weird for me too,"_ Naruto admitted, sighing. He sounded less defensive now that I was giving him a polite feedback. _"But we've known each other since forever, and it could be fun."_

"I've never been with another guy."

" _You didn't seem to have a problem with it today."_

"Don't compare that insignificant peck with making out and other things, dumbass."

_"I would take good care of you_ ," he stated seriously, and I just had to laugh a little at how sure of himself he sounded. _"What? You'd be all over me in no time, bastard! I'm a great boyfriend!"_

"Right, of course you are…"

_"Fuck you!"_

I laughed evilly with internal pleasure at his dissatisfaction as he cursed some more. When he stopped, I cleared my throat. "Look, I'm flattered you think I'm attractive and all that, but I really don't know how comfortable I'd be doing something like that," I muttered tiredly. "I mean, I've never been with a guy, and my father would kill me…"

_"It's not like he has to know,"_ Naruto interrupted, as if it was obvious _. "No one has to know. And besides, it's not like we have to, like, be boyfriends right away. We can take it slow, or something. I mean, just because I've been with guys it doesn't mean I am fully prepared to handle your bitchy ass."_

I bit my lip and removed my arm from my eyes so I could rest my hand over my stomach. I stared at the ceiling, my mind once again going blank.

_"I just… in spite of how many times we bicker and fight I… I trust you,"_ Naruto seemed much calmer now, his voice lowering to a soft whisper _. "And it's not like we have anything to lose. Who knows if we end up finding that thing that's missing?"_

I ended up smiling to myself. Whatever he was missing was certainly nothing like what _I_ was missing or, as he had pointed out, _looking for_. I had long since accepted that what I needed, what I sought for, wasn't going to just pop out of nowhere.

"I trust you too," I admitted, the words coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. "But I'm not sure if getting together just because we both suck at relationships is the right thing to do."

_"I don't see why not."_

"You would if you decided to think with you head for once instead of thinking with your dick."

" _Hah! Don't flatter yourself; you're not that hot to be on my dick's list, duck butt head."_

"Says the guy who hasn't gotten laid in months."

_"Just shut up, Sasuke. I'm serious about this, and I would be serious if we were to do this."_

I didn't say anything for a while.

I knew that. Naruto was the kind of person who gave everything he had and more. I knew him to be loyal, respectful and reliable despite his joyful personality and his too big, too loudmouth.

I knew that, if I ever wanted to take a leap of faith such as that one, Naruto was the guy to do it with. It made sense, in a way, and I really wasn't closed minded about being with another guy at all.

It was just…

Naruto wasn't a girl and I could never be with him the person I was with a member of the opposite sex. In fact, I would have to be completely myself because that was the person he knew and expected to deal with.

And that meant I would have to be honest with him about many things about me.

"What is it that you're looking for in a relationship?" I asked, out of sheer curiosity.

Naruto hummed in thought for a while. _"Someone who'll like me for me, I guess,"_ he said, simply. _"Someone who won't expect me to be what they want me to be and let me be myself instead. Someone I can just… feel comfortable around, and have fun with, and not worry about my next move."_

"I can relate to that," I agreed, sighing. "You don't want any of that 'love' bullshit, then?"

_"I'm seventeen, Sasuke,"_ Naruto joked, laughing gently. _"I'll have time for love in college or something. I'm too picky to be that demanding and besides, you don't have to be in love to have a good time with another person as long as there's mutual consent and respect."_

The irony hit me like a punch, causing me to laugh as well. The idiot was surprising wise where I was naïve. I had probably been doing it all wrong all along, looking for something that might just never take me anywhere.

I really was a fool and maybe it was time for me to try something different, consequences be damned. It was fine as long as I could keep my mind busy and not think about _it_ , right?

"You know what?" I said, voice firm with conviction and resolution. "Let me give it some thought, alright?"

_"Really?"_ He sounded hesitant about how to feel, something between enthusiastic and fearful. _"That's cool, I guess?"_

I couldn't help but smirk, even though he couldn't see it. "Whatever. I'll think about it overnight and we'll see."

_"Alright!"_

"I'm going to go finish homework, you should do the same," I muttered, sitting up on the bed, my body feeling very lazy. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?"

_"Sure, whatever you say."_

"Sleep well, moron."

_"You too, bastard."_ I was about to hang up when he stopped me. _"And Sasuke? It's really cool that you're being a good sport. I mean, **really** cool."_

My cheeks became a little hot and I mentally slapped myself. "If you're flirting with me I'll curse you straight into hell." I hissed. Why did he, of all people, had to suddenly make me blush?

_"Aw, you know you love it…"_

"Shove it."

_"I wuv you too, Sasuke-chan."_

I effectively hung up before allowing my nerves to start boiling too much.

After taking a few calming breaths, the corners of my mouth lifted upwards ever so slightly again, and I shook my head from side to side. "That damned idiot," I whispered, clutching my cell phone in my palm.

Maybe it was time to give myself a second chance, then. Maybe Naruto was the answer to all my problems, or maybe not, but one couldn't know without trying, right?

All I had to do was cope with the idea, be serious about it no matter how crazy it all seemed – and brace myself to tell Naruto a small part of the truth about me no one had ever known, and hopefully get something good out of that whole mess.

TBC…


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not betaed. Sorry.

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Three**

_Sasuke's POV_

One of the things that I doubted anyone had ever noticed was exactly how out of place I always felt when interacting with my brother in our parents' house. Itachi had moved to Tokyo a few years before, and from then on, seldom did he come home to spend time with us.

However, that morning I had come down for breakfast to find the unexpected presence of my older brother in the kitchen.

It was thanks to that summer I spent with him in the big city that I had the chance to become a model – something I wouldn't consider in a million years, so focused, at the time, in pleasing my father by agreeing to become a Doctor.

Even though I acknowledged that I came from a family of attractive people – and knew, to some extent, that I was somehow good-looking – I never really cared about how I looked, nor took any special care of my appearance. It was in Tokyo at one of Itachi's friend's parties that this wealthy looking guy approached me and told me all about the modelling world and how I would fit right into it. I gave it a try out of sheer curiosity and concluded that not only was I a natural, but I actually enjoyed doing it.

I quickly fell in love with everything about it, and after my first photo shoot I became rather popular - as popular as one can get in the middle of hundreds of other young male models - so the guy's agency hired me.

So, basically, it was thanks to my brother that I discovered something that I loved and wanted to pursue. Sure, my father wasn't too happy about it, but my earnings (and the fact that my career didn't affect my grades at school) made me feel confident about my future decisions.

Me having a job in the big city also meant that I had to travel from time to time and that I needed a place to stay. Itachi, being the nice, ever supportive brother, made sure he covered my expenses and insisted on me staying with him at his apartment, something I appreciated but simultaneously hated because I didn't want to be in his debt, and had a very strong need to do things for myself and not depend on anyone, especially him. Of course, I wasn't of age yet, so this was only wishful thinking on my part.

Still, I used to enjoy staying with him in Tokyo. He was almost like my father figure there, but also indulged me and allowed me to smoke, drink and go out by myself because he trusted I knew better than to do something that would put him, or me, to shame. I could talk dirty and be more laid back there, and he would only smile at me with complicity.

We had always been very close, and he'd always been my beloved older brother.

However, lately things were a little different, and the same happened when we were home, probably because my parents and I rarely had him around. It was as if I was more aware of the older brother factor than ever.

Somehow, that was something that disturbed me greatly, and I many times wondered when my vision of him had started to change so drastically to the point where I felt uncomfortable around him.

On that day I just sat at our kitchen table, already dressed and ready for school, my backpack resting securely next to my chair as I watched Itachi calmly setting down a large plate filled with several slices of toasted bread and a jar of orange juice. Upstairs, our parents were still getting ready for the day, and occasionally, father's rash voice could be heard, asking where his things were.

After setting down four glasses and a jar of strawberry jam, Itachi sat down across from me and immediately helped himself to some juice as I reached out to grab a toast and absently much on it without bothering to add jam to it.

"So, there is this friend of mine who is a scriptwriter," my brother started saying, crossing his arms over the table professionally and eyeing me intently. "He told me he has this project going on for a new soap opera that is going to be aired in March or something, but the auditions will start in January, I think. They're looking for new faces."

"Oh?" I muttered, eyebrows rising. "That's… great."

"If you do want to audition we should find someone to give you some acting lessons for you to learn the basics and understand what will be expected of you," he said, tucking a lock of dark hair that had untangled itself from his loose ponytail behind his ear.

"Why don't _you_ teach me instead?" I suggested, before taking another bite on my toast.

"If you lived in Tokyo I could, but I can't come all the way here every week just to teach you."

I immediately recognized the reproachful undertone and the hidden meaning behind his words, so I merely rolled my eyes at him. "I already told you I'm not moving to Tokyo with you right now."

"And I already told you that you need to sort out your priorities," Itachi contradicted, frowning. "I would never tell you to abandon your studies, Sasuke, but if you have goals in the industry you must take action and make life easier for yourself. You could go to school there, or we could get you a private tutor and you'd stay with me until..."

"I'm not so solicited that I have to go there that often, for now," I replied, frowning back resolutely. "I want to at least finish high school properly. Besides, being with you once in a while is one thing, but I'm not going to be a burden, and have you support me all the time."

"You're just going to go to Tokyo and live by yourself once you come of age?"

"I'm saving money for that, yes."

Itachi stared at me with his mouth slightly agape. He then sighed in defeat and reached for his glass of juice. "You take after mother, but you just had to have father's terrible personality," he complained, before sipping his juice casually. "I honestly thought you liked spending time with me."

I pressed my lips together stubbornly, but refrained from commenting on that, my eyes scanning his features unblinkingly, throat dry.

There it was; that weird, awkward feeling that I was reminded of too many times during the day even when he wasn't around – the unstoppable urge to be close to him and accept whatever proposition he made, and the simultaneous need to flee and stay as far away from him as physically possible.

I didn't want to be near him, but at the same time, I did. One could say being near him intimidated me.

Itachi and I had always gotten along just fine. In fact, we had always been very close, more than best friends, even. We still were.

Then why did that have to change for _me_? Why did I suddenly have to feel differently about it?

The worst part was that, for the first time in my short life, this was something I had no idea how to fix.

"So, how is school going?" He asked, in a matter-of-fact way as if the previous conversation had never happened, searching for something in his pockets and eventually fishing out a pack of cigarettes that I eyed enviously. My parents had no idea I smoked, so I avoided doing it inside the house, or even close to where we lived.

"Fine. I'm top of my class and working to become number one student of my year once more," I answered, with practiced ease. I picked up my toast just to have something to do with my hands.

Itachi brought a cigarette to his mouth and lit it with a shiny silver lighter, the smoke filling the kitchen rather quickly. "A little bird told me about your breakup with Sakura," he commented, resting an elbow on the surface of the table, looking a little intimidating in all his celebrity star glory. He was very smart, my brother, and he could read me – or anyone – like a book most of the times. He would definitely have become a great lawyer, had he pursued that career.

"How Kakashi manages to be Editor in Chief, put up with Minato-san's slumps and _still_ have his way on espionage is beyond me," I said smirking sarcastically despite feeling a little annoyed. I didn't need to be reminded that I had a very busy day ahead of me, filled with love letters, proposals and all sorts of scandalous rumors about Sakura and me.

Itachi smiled a little mischievously at that. "Seriously, Sasuke; it's the fifth girlfriend you dumped this year," he said, in a gentle way that wasn't meant to be accusatory but that sounded very harsh in my ears. "It's none of my business, and I think it's a good thing that you like to experiment things, but… what is wrong with you?"

"It's the eighth breakup, actually." My voice came out cold and defensive and I did nothing to stop it. "And it really is _none_ of your business because I'm fine, and there's nothing _wrong_ with me."

Itachi brought the cigarette to his lips once more as he watched me for a few seconds in silence, eyes that were a shade darker than mine evaluating me while I chewed on my toast as if it had offended me..

I had to get out of there; I _wanted_ to get out of there, but had to make it look natural. If I just stormed out Itachi would follow me and eventually would find a way to imperceptibly make me spill the beans, and that couldn't happen.

"No, I'm sure there's definitely something wrong," Itachi ended up saying, apparently deeply lost in thought. "Or maybe you're just some sort of sex fiend? But why date if you can just have casual sex? Someone like you should have no problems achieving that…"

"I am _not_ a sex fiend!" I interrupted cheeks reddening in outrage. "What the hell makes you say…"

"I don't know what the two of you are talking about, but I don't want to hear the word 'sex' at the table again," my father said imposingly, entering the kitchen with the usual daily newspaper under his armpit and effectively silencing the both of us. He elegantly sat down next to Itachi, frowning at the cigarette he was holding between his fingers as if it was an ugly bug. "You haven't given up on that disgusting habit yet?"

"If I'm smoking, then no, father, I haven't," Itachi said, smirking slightly and causing our father's frown to deepen so much it became almost threatening, wrinkles marking his forehead.

"I get it, I'll put it out," Itachi ended up saying, his tone abnormally sweet.

"Good," Father said with an approving nod. "Sasuke, you'll be late for school if you listen to any more of your brother's nonsense."

"I agree, so I'll be leaving now," I muttered, nodding quickly.

"Your mother is in the laundry room; don't forget to say goodbye to her," father then reminded, opening his newspaper and immediately immersing himself in it.

"I know."

As quickly as I could, I got up, shoved the rest of my toast inside my mouth and downed a few gulps of juice while picking up my backpack. Meanwhile, Itachi had effectively gotten rid of the offending cigarette.

I can't express how eager I was at that moment to just leave and go to school. Even my resolutions were as firm as ever and all I wanted was to face a day filled with lots of work and rabid fangirls. Anything but dealing with Itachi. Even the embarrassing conversation I would eventually have with Naruto seemed a hundred times better than having to put up with my brother's observant gaze.

"Wait up; I'll drive you to school," Itachi said, and I stopped at the kitchen entrance inhaling so sharply I'm sure everybody in the house heard it.

"I have to go and meet Naruto at… the usual place, so…" I was sure my right eyebrow was twitching with annoyance.

"It's fine; we'll pick him up and I'll drive you both to school," my older brother stated in a firm tone that left no room for arguments, patting father's shoulder gently and coming to me with a simple, insignificant smile. It was a terrible, terrible thing that I just had to go and actually be respectful of him when I could tell him to fuck off.

All I could do was sigh in defeat and roll my shoulders to relieve some of the tension there that almost made me cramp all over. Only then did I roll my eyes in exasperation. "You just do whatever pleases you, don't you?"

Itachi smirked.

_Naruto's POV_

Being in a super good mood when Sasuke himself was in a bad mood was nothing new to me. I mean, I was in the back seat of Itachi's rather gorgeous grey Jaguar XJ, and quite frankly, I was having a blast.

Our usual 20-minute walk to school had been replaced by a five-minute ride, but I still had the time to chat incessantly with Sasuke's brother about the car and other stuff while Sasuke kept stubbornly silent.

I hadn't seen Itachi in a while, and even though he was five years older than us, he had acted as my babysitter many times in the past and I honestly thought he was one of the nicest, coolest people I knew.

"Don't forget to visit my mom; I'm sure she would love to fawn all over you for a while!" I joked, once we had reached our stop and Sasuke and I were out of the car. I had shoved my head through the open window of the passenger's side to talk to Itachi.

"Don't worry, I would never forget my number one fan," Itachi said, smiling in a gentle way, but somehow managing to look stunning with those damned expensive looking sunglasses.

Itachi was, hands down, one of the most attractive people I knew. Even if I, at the time, didn't feel attracted to him in that sense, Itachi's formidable teenage years had certainly helped me figure out a few things about myself.

In another lifetime, I would've tapped that. But at the time, I saw Itachi as an older brother who happened to be very good-looking.

"Do you guys want me to pick you up later?" Itachi asked.

"Sure!" I said, excitedly.

"That won't be necessary; it's Friday," Sasuke interrupted coolly, grabbing the back of my jacket and pulling me backwards to make me stand straight. I looked at his face, noticing the heavy frown his forehead carried and raised my eyebrows in questioning. What the hell did the fact that it was Friday had to do with anything?

"Alright, then. Have a nice day, you two," Itachi said, positively beaming at us. I couldn't help but offer him a huge smile in return.

"Yeah, likewise!" A little disappointed, I waved goodbye at Itachi and he waved back, but Sasuke kept his hands inside his pockets, apparently sulking for some reason. As Itachi started the car and drove off, I turned to my friend, who was already walking off to walk past the old gates and into the school grounds. Huffing at his back, I ran after him.

Around, the entrance was already filled with students, some of them heading inside the large main building, some chatting or sitting under the trees. A group of boys from our year had formed a circle and were apparently looking at some magazine – porn, maybe.

"Someone's grumpy..." I noted, once I managed to catch up with Sasuke.

"Yeah, you can thank that jerk of a brother of mine," Sasuke replied, heaving a long sigh but allowing his expression to relax a little.

"Come on, you don't mean that," I said, elbowing him playfully. "Itachi is like, the nicest guy ever and he loves you like crazy. You love it when he's around, too."

He flinched slightly for some reason and sighed again before stopping in his tracks abruptly, forcing me to do the same.

"Whatever. With all this we still have..." He checked his black watch. "...half an hour before class starts. You want to talk now?"

At that moment, he looked straight into my eyes, his own very serious, but in a way that made me wonder what the hell he was thinking because he still looked a little annoyed and impatient.

With that look and that bad mood, my own mood darkened considerably. Did that look mean he was going to break up with me? The thought was suddenly terrifying for some reason.

"Oh? Huh...sure..." I muttered, too quickly for my own liking.

_How can he break up with me if we're not even dating yet? Duh…_

"What's with that face all of a sudden?" He asked, frowning once more, suspiciously.

"What face?" I asked back, letting out a loud laugh that sounded stupid even to my own ears.

_He can't break up with me, but he can dump me._

_Holly Shit! He's so gonna dump me! He can't fucking dump me! Wait… Why am I panicking?_

_I am so not ready to be dumped! It's been forever since I was dumped, I..._

"You look moronically horrified."

The stupid smile left my mouth almost immediately to be replaced by a grimace. In an instant, all thoughts and insecurities abandoned me, and I found myself feeling pretty mad.

"Fuck you, Sasuke!" I spat, shoving him a little, but he just smirked, composing himself unnecessarily. "As if I'd ever feel horrified by anything related to you, bastard!"

"Then stop looking so nervous before I even had the time to say anything."

"Me? Nervous? You're so full of yourself!"

"You're the one who wants to date me, idiot."

"Eat shit, bastard!" I yelled, and was pretty much ready to turn my back to him and stomp off when I realized he was smiling openly now, highly amused. The bastard was making fun of me. "Wait... you're totally enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Seeing you annoyed is certainly inspiring," he admitted.

I stared at him for a while, and for some reason, his condescending smile actually helped me calm down. It was nice seeing him smile like that, even if it was thanks to my own displeasure.

"I'm glad your highness the Prince Charming finds me amusing," I pouted, shaking my head from side to side. "Fuck. You're, like, the most sadistic person I've ever met."

"Don't sulk, you like me the way I am," he teased, pinching my ear. I slapped his hand away out of principle, but inside I was glad that his bad mood seemed to be vanishing.

"Yeah, yeah, go die in a ditch somewhere," I growled, making him laugh maliciously. "That tree looks cozy, though, let's just go there, yes?"

I pointed at a leafy tree a few meters away next to the lateral zone of the building – the trunk was thick and the place itself could be pretty discreet from the right angle.

Sasuke nodded once as he became serious once again.

We silently made our way there, with me walking ahead of him this time and musing about how quickly the guy could change his facial expression from one emotion to the other. He would certainly be a good actor in the future, I thought.

Once there, we tried to find a spot where we could be guarded from curious observants and then dropped our bags before sitting on the grass, both with crossed legs, me with my back against the trunk, Sasuke in front of me.

"So…" I started, feigning a casual tone. "What have you decided?"

I tried my best to look calm and indifferent, but I was pretty nervous on the inside, my heart hammering inside my chest as the horrible fear of rejection came to me once more.

It wasn't because it was _him_. It was a man's thing, to not want to be dumped by someone, especially someone who was very popular and very good-looking. My pride would be crushed, and I couldn't have that.

Sasuke took a deep breath, hands resting over his lap. "Look, I've given us some serious thought, and... " he was saying, in a professional tone that was really intimidating. "Well, before we start going on about the whole relationship thing..."

"So, it's a yes?" I intervened at once, too scared to wait for a 'no'. Sasuke eyed me reproachfully.

"Will you shut up and listen to me?" He groaned, coolly. "Damn it, Naruto, this is already difficult as it is, so just..."

Right, so he was particularly sensitive that day, his mood swings were more frequent. I should be careful then. Yeah, I could do that, sure.

"Fine, fine, excuse me for being curious..." I apologized, choosing a softer tone while scratching my nose.

Sasuke frowned. "Alright. Geez, idiot. So, there is something I have to tell you, and it's something I haven't told anybody yet. I will need you to listen to me, be quiet, and not come to any conclusions, okay?"

"You're kind of scary when you're all serious like that," I couldn't help but comment, because his voice was making me nervous and he was so going to dump me and I didn't want to deal with it, no way. "I mean, you're always serious, therefore always scary so..."

"Naruto," he warned.

"Sorry. Go on."

"After this conversation, you'll be the one to decide if you still want to do this with me or not."

"Huh... sure?"

I kept snapping my fingers and moving them. My ass couldn't seem to be still for some reason, and Sasuke noticed it.

"Stop fidgeting and just listen, will you?" He barked, sounding more than a little aggravated, which made me force my hands and my body to still and inhale a couple of times sharply. I was being silly, and because of that Sasuke was getting angry. He might just reject me for real and not talk to me for a couple of weeks if I didn't show some respect.

"Sorry, I promise I won't do it again," I muttered, smiling a little but not too much – he might just think I was making fun of him. "I'm all ears."

He eyed me suspiciously for a while before considering me calm enough to start talking.

"Okay; so, the thing is… there is... sort of someone I might... _like._ " Sasuke's voice came out a little embarrassed, but to me – who became frozen with shock – he sounded frustrated. He wasn't even looking at me, eyes staring at some unknown spot over my head. "I say _might_ because I have yet to come to terms with whatever that feeling is. The point is, even though I've never been in love, or liked anyone like that, this is something that has no future."

It didn't matter that he wasn't looking at me; I sure as hell was staring holes into his sullen face in awe.

Was the world coming to an end?

Sasuke _liked_ someone? _This_ Sasuke, who dated people who allegedly loved him just because he could? Uchiha Sasuke, the most popular guy in our school? The one everyone chased after but who sucked at being a boyfriend? Mr. Ice Prince, who was too good to care for other people?

Really?

"That's... big news. I don't even..." I stuttered, too flabbergasted to think properly. "Have you… I don't know… confessed, yet?"

"Of course not! Not in a million years," he said, dark eyes dropping to mine at once, looking a bit horrified at the thought. His cheeks were flushed. Not much, but it was there, nonetheless. Apart from shock, my fear was gone, and I didn't know what to feel about it. It wasn't jealousy or anything like that, but I felt suddenly confused.

_Holy fucking…_

"Then how can you say that there's no future?" I inquired, genuinely curious. I wanted to know what was happening to Sasuke and, if possible, I wanted to be able to help.

I mean, sure, he was supposed to date _me_ , but liking someone was a better excuse for dumping me than some other stupid reason.

"Because this person is someone I did not want to fall in love with." At his words, my confusion only got worse. "I _can't_. There is no way the person will ever feel anything of the sort, and the whole thing is completely impossible to begin with, and it will be even more impossible in the future because I will make sure to crush and annihilate it... that... whatever this is. "

Ok, so I should scratch the 'helping him' part of the situation since, apparently, he didn't want any help.

Why?

Why did he have to look so damned pained?

"Right. So, I don't get it," I said, leaning forward to whisper to him since there were a few girls passing by not too far from us. "You finally like someone and you don't want to do something about it? That's weird, to say the least. It's cowardly and really pessimist, Sasuke."

"You don't understand, Naruto," he whispered back, before biting down on his lower lip. "I can't. I don't _want_ to. There's nothing romantic about it, it's ugly and it should die, and I'll kill it before it has the chance to fuck me over."

I didn't get it. How could someone like him not want to pursue his feelings? He didn't like people easily, so why run away from it?

Why did he look so scared?

Sasuke was trying to act calm, but I could see the pursing of his lips, the slight twitch in his cheeks and the almost pleading way he was looking at me.

I was seriously taken aback by it.

"But… _why_? Are you scared of love or something?" I asked, a little softer this time.

"No, but I'm scared of loving that person like that." The deadly severe way he stated it made me feel nauseous for some reason. "Look, I'm not telling you this to make you feel stupid 'cause that's exactly how I know you're feeling right now, nor discuss my love life, or to ask for advice." He huffed and ran a hand through his dark, bluish hair in sheer defeat. "The truth is, I started dating one girl after the other in hopes of forgetting said weird feelings for said person. I thought that if I dated girls who were in love with me then maybe their feelings could... I don't know, get through to me?"

That made sense, in a way.

"That means you've been dating girls in hopes of falling in love with them?" I questioned, watching with fascination his anxious hands reaching out for his backpack and opening it to rummage inside.

"Something like that..." he mumbled; his attention shifting to the pack of cigarettes he pulled out. I silently scanned his features as he took one and brought it to his lips. He offered me the pack and I took one cigarette for myself.

"That's not the way to do it, Sasuke," I said, searching inside the right pocket of my jacket and taking out a small white lighter. I lit my cigarette first.

"It's the only thing that just might help me at this point." He took the lighter I offered him and lit his own cigarette before returning it to me and putting his pack back inside the backpack.

"Right." I nodded, exhaling the smoke slowly. "You've never told this to any of the girls you've dated?"

"No."

"So, you're telling me this because...?"

"Because you want to date me," was his answer, pretty straightforward, if I might add. He even looked a little calmer now that he talked to me about his 'problem'. "But mostly because it's _you_. You're my friend, and a guy, and everything is so different that I thought I might do it differently this time. You have the right to know the burden I'm placing on your shoulders if you still want to do it."

Even though I still couldn't quite figure out what his deal was, some of the weight caused by his confession was lifted then as realization struck me.

"You want me to make you fall for me?" I breathed out, in surprise.

"I want you to try, yes."

For a moment, we just stared at each other. His face showed no signs of his previous feelings as he occasionally brought the cigarette to his lips. He seemed to be observing me, evaluating me, but all I could do was watch him back numbly and distractedly notice just how attractive he looked underneath the morning sun. His skin seemed to be glowing and his eyes became a little brighter and I still didn't know how to feel about what he had told me.

Was I even supposed to feel anything at all?

When I spoke once more, I didn't really think about what I was saying because it wasn't as if I needed to. "Sasuke, I don't see it as a burden at all because, right now, I don't care about your feelings towards someone else. You don't even like me like that yet, so why should it matter?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at me, slowly. "So, you still want..." He seemed uncertain, but he was trying not to show it.

"Yeah. I'm not intimidated, if that's what you're afraid of," I said, shrugging, because, really, it didn't matter to me at all. I would help him the way he wanted me to and that would be it. "There is something that is bothering me, though..."

I inhaled the smoke from my cigarette once and he nodded, looking relaxed for the first time that day. "I don't get your attitude," I confessed. "It's like you don't mind if you're not corresponded. I mean, you talk as if you want to fall for me but aren't expecting me to feel the same."

"That's because I'm not," he admitted.

"Huh?"

He actually smiled at me then, gently in a way that was really not like the Sasuke people were used to at all. It reminded me of his mother, and I felt a little overwhelmed by how sure he was of his own words. I felt perplexed.

"I'm sure I can handle a broken heart better than the way I'm dealing with my current situation," he said, softly. "And don't look at me like I'm some sort of alien, moron."

"How can I not? I..."

"I think you probably should think about this a little more; we can get back to this later," he suggested, smashing his cigarette on the grass with the clear intention of leaving the conversation at that. "The bell should be ringing soon; we should get inside."

He made a move to get up, but I quickly grabbed the fabric of his pants to prevent him from doing so, making him throw an inquisitive look at me as he remained where he was.

He was being so selfish and selfless at the same time I couldn't understand his actions at all. He was supposed to be proud, confident, want everything and have it…

How could he be willing to do something like that to himself?

"No, damn it!" I hissed with my teeth clenched. For some reason, his attitude was really getting to me. "We're talking about this _now_ because I have to give you a fucking piece of my mind and you're going to listen!"

He looked a little surprised at my tone but obeyed by crossing his arms over his chest. I, too, smashed my unfinished cigarette somewhere on the dirt beside me, hands trembling a bit with irritation.

"I've already made up my mind about being with you from the moment I decided to call you, and that won't change no matter what you say to me," I snapped, a little too aggressively, but he didn't even flinch, just like I had expected. "But this isn't just about you; it's about me, too, and about what we _both_ want. How can you sell yourself so low? Someone like you, who is supposed to be smart, confident, and better than most people? You suck at this whole shit worse than I do, and it pisses me off!"

"It pisses me off as well, Naruto, but..."

"No!" I effectively silenced him, causing him to frown at me. "You've been doing it all wrong from the very start, and I may not know a lot about this relationship shit, but I know enough to know you can't be like this. I won't let you, just so you know."

I took a few seconds to breathe and allow my irritation to subside. In a way, he wasn't to blame; he just sucked at feelings and all that, and was probably even more naïve at it than I was.

Sasuke sighed and let his chin fall until it hit his chest as if feeling exhausted. When he lifted his head up to look at me, there was a new determination in his eyes.

"Alright. You're right, and I'm sorry if I've offended you," he said, firmly. "How should I be like, then?"

I 'tsked'. "I've never dated anyone without being completely serious about it." I heaved a long, exasperated sigh. This whole talking thing was really more tiring than I had expected, but I needed him to understand and to be on the same page as me, otherwise it wouldn't work. "Since it's you, I want to be even more serious because... I want something good; I want to feel it too. We both want the same and we have to work towards it, _together_. A relationship... _love_ is hard to build from scratch. These things take time and we have to do it right, Sasuke. Don't be like that, saying you don't care. You _have_ to care. You _should_ care. You should want to fall in love and have someone feeling the same way about you."

Sasuke looked away from me, seeming a bit uncomfortable, not at my words, I guessed, but at the fact that he acknowledged that I was right.

"I don't really understand why you'd want to purposefully stop liking someone," I continued, calmly. "But that's not my business and I won't question you anymore. Just give yourself some credit, ok? Give _me_ some credit. I won't give without taking, nor will I ever take without giving, and you have to do the same."

"I understand, you're right," he agreed, rubbing his forehead with his long, pretty fingers. "It's just… this is really hard on me and I… _need_ this. I don't know what to do or which way to turn. I don't want you think I want everything for myself, but I… I feel so stupid with all this 'love' bullshit, I have no idea what I've been doing up until now."

"I don't know either, that's why I thought we'd be good together," I mumbled, rubbing the back of my neck a little awkwardly. "I didn't suggest because I wanted to fool around; even though we bicker sometimes, I'd never do that to you. We'll have to take it slow and kind of… go with the flow and see where it takes us, I guess."

"I suppose."

It was kind of weird how, after what we had just said to each other, there was no twinge of shame or embarrassment in either of us. There was something a little shy floating about in the air, but it was to be expected, I guess, in behalf of our manly prides. Apart from that, only a gentle feeling of comfort was left between us.

Maybe I should've felt even a bit apprehensive since I was about to start something new with someone who was very, very different from me; someone who I found attractive but had never been attracted to.

Someone who had never dated a guy before. Even so, he didn't seem to have a problem with it, and we were teenagers, and guys, so the intimacy issues would be solved soon, or so I hoped.

Still, even if Sasuke liked someone else, I wasn't scared. I had confidence in myself, and quite honestly, I had no expectations for this whole relationship thing to begin with. But I could deal with it, and if he wanted me to help him fall in love – or out of it – then I would do my best and trusted he could do the same.

I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know who the person was, anyway.

The bell rang, echoing loudly throughout the school grounds and at once the students that remained outside ran inside.

"We're doing this," I said with conviction, not moving from where I was sitting.

"Yes, we are," Sasuke agreed, smirking a little and not seeming all that eager to get up either.

"Are there any rules you'd like to establish, or something?" I inquired, honestly concerned. "I mean, I don't want to do anything that might make you feel uncomfortable."

"I'm doing this with an open mind, so you shouldn't worry about it," he said, dismissively. I chose to not debate on it for now, since I would have to test his boundaries myself, eventually. "I guess we should take things slow, as you said. It's not like I'm a prude or anything like that, but..."

"I know, I know… you have to get used to the whole idea of being with a guy and all that stuff, I get it," I finished for him, laughing a little. "Just don't go playing the pure maiden shit on me for too long, ok?"

He laughed too, a clear, simple sound that I enjoyed listening to. Sasuke looked less troubled now, as if an enormous weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and it was nice to see, especially because I knew I had somehow been responsible for it.

"Oh, trust me, I won't, " he said, amused. "How about you? Are there any rules I should abide to?"

"Not really," I muttered, shrugging. "Let's just be completely ourselves, ok? I mean, we're together, and things will have to change about the way we interact with each other, but we don't have to force it or anything. Let's just... be natural and be who we have always been and not be too demanding towards each other."

"Of course," he conceded, nodding solemnly. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Neither would I."

I can't say that the few silent seconds that followed were awkward, more like, they were tense, but in a familiar sort of way, as we stared into each other's eyes unblinkingly. His head fell a little to the side as if he was wondering about the fact that I was chewing on my lower lip as if it was candy.

There are no words to describe my thoughts, my feelings at that moment, because I wasn't really feeling anything special, nor thinking about anything in particular. I was at peace, probably, now that I knew I hadn't been dumped and that we were both aiming for the same thing.

The fact that Sasuke had confessed something very personal to me made me happy, and that whole situation was kind of ours, like our little (big) secret, so I guess I was feeling so lightheaded I didn't really have the time to think about anything else.

I was feeling good about myself; something I hadn't felt for a while, therefore, had almost forgotten what it felt like. I had no worries.

Only the rustling of the trees could be heard now, as well as the distant voices of students entering the classrooms in the distance, and the weird lack of commotion around us forced us to leave that damned conversation and come to our senses because, really, Sasuke could get away with everything, what with being such a great student and all that, but I'd be in big trouble for being late.

"We should get inside," Sasuke said, huffing a little. He looked relieved – or maybe it was just me – as he ran a hand through his shiny, spiky hair. "We still have to take our shoes off and… well; we don't want to be too late for class."

"Yep!"

I took my time stretching my arms over my head while he grabbed for his backpack and got up with nimbleness. As I got up as well, I watched him pat his own ass in order to get rid of any traces of grass or dirt from his dark trousers and couldn't help but feel pleased. The bastard had a way of moving that was very himself, all relaxed and composed like nothing could touch him. It was almost aristocratic or some shit like that.

He cleared his throat when I crouched down to reach for my own backpack and throw it over my shoulder, and when I looked back at him, he was standing in front of me, looking all stoic again, serious and very straight.

I quirked an eyebrow at him and he quirked his at me, almost challengingly in a way that made me understand at once what it meant.

"What?" I asked feigning naivety.

"I don't know, you tell me," he said, shrugging nonchalantly.

The left corner of my lip curved upwards at that, causing both his eyebrows to lift up.

"Fine."

I didn't really need to think a lot about it since it was no big deal for me, anyways, and we might as well just get it over with before we found ourselves in a situation where things could be awkward. So, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with both hands and pulled him to me until ours lips crashed against each other before he even had time to gasp.

There was no gasp, though, just a low, complaining moan, but I couldn't care less – it wasn't like I was trying to make out with him then and there, I was just making a statement and sealing the deal. Or something.

His hands came up to curl around my wrists, the grip strong but not enough to hurt. Our bodies didn't touch and seemed far, far away from each other. I opened my mouth enough to be able to move it over his, just a tiny bit, to feel the same softness I had felt the previous day. I felt him swallow when my lips moved, before opening his own mouth a little as his lips moved as well, over mine, with mine, very slowly, and it could've been sensual if it hadn't that chaste feel to it, his breath surprisingly clean and warm mingling with mine. I didn't dare to try and add some tongue to it, but it was obvious, even by that, that Sasuke knew what he was doing.

The first thing that came to my head was that I liked his lips. Not just the softness, but the feel of them, the way they moved, the way they touched mine. It felt comfortable enough, and that was a relief.

It was Sasuke who broke the contact to observe me inquisitively even though his eyes had a glossy look.

"Moron," he whispered his voice raspy. His fingers rubbed the inside of one of my wrists absently. "We're out in the open."

"Sorry," I said, grinning stupidly. "I just thought we could totally get this particular part out of the way. The mood was nice, too; I thought you'd be up for it."

He rolled his eyes and dropped my wrists carelessly, shaking his head from side to side. "If the mood had been that nice, I'd be up for a lot more than that, idiot," he said. "Meaning that you suck."

My chin fell as he turned around and started walking away with large, confident steps of superiority without looking back. I couldn't even have the heart to feel offended, I knew him too well to know he didn't mean it.

_That damned bastard._

"Dude, you're totally gay for me and don't even know it!" I called with a chuckle, running after him. "I'll make sure you realize that as soon as I can!"

He gave me the finger and started walking even faster.

This was going to be good.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I will be posting three more chapters, so if you've enjoyed it so far, look forward to it!
> 
> Don't forget to let me know your thoughts ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading, stay safe everybody!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading, I hope you're enjoying it so far!
> 
> Just so you know, I love all the artists mentioned in this fic, but when I wrote it back then, while in college (I was in Asian Studies), there was a lot of people who clashed when it came to musical Japanese styles (well, we clashed in everything related to japan, basically), so I suppose Sasuke's and Naruto's banter was inspired by that. 
> 
> This chapter is still not betaed, but it has been edited 5000 times, so if there is anything terrible, feel free to point it out to me.

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Four**

_Sasuke's POV_

That Sunday afternoon was awfully sunny; the brightness of the day causing me to narrow my eyes as I patiently watched Itachi moving about in front of me with his huge _Nikon_ camera constantly in front of his face.

I got out of my house to wait for Naruto – who was supposed to pick me up in a few minutes – only find Itachi taking pictures of the surrounding area. Deciding that it wasn't a good time to disturb him, I sat on the grass of our front yard cross-legged and basically minded my own business.

Two minutes later, the thick lens of Itachi's camera was pointed directly at me.

_Click. Click. Click._

Next thing I knew, my brother was on his knees, then standing up, then coming closer, then backing away, then beside me, and all the while he was taking pictures of me from every angle he could think of.

I pressed my lips together and did my best to ignore him even though I couldn't stop my eyes from watching the carefree, yet proficient way he moved.

I was more than used to that kind of attention since, as a model, being photographed was part of the job.

Even so, being photographed by _him_ was unnerving, especially because he was being silent in the process.

I leaned backwards, my hands resting on the warm grass behind me, supporting my weight. After a while, noticing how he didn't seem to get tired of my face, I had to speak. "What the hell are you doing, Itachi?"

The camera clicked once more before Itachi stood and lowered it, revealing his face. He looked at me with the most impassive expression ever, and I wished I knew what he was thinking about as a few locks of his long fringe framed his face and he efficiently tucked them behind his ear, only to have them fall to both his cheeks again.

"I'm taking pictures," came the casual reply as his dark eyes stopped scrutinizing me to look down at the camera screen. He pressed a few buttons, probably checking out said pictures.

"I can see that," I grumbled, looking up and putting my hand over my eyebrows to shade my eyes from the sun. "But why are you taking pictures of _me_?"

"Well, I was just photographing random things, but then you made an appearance and got in the way," he explained, his own eyebrows quirking upwards a little at whatever it was he was seeing on the camera screen.

"In the way of what?" I asked. "The window?"

He sighed, eyeing me without lifting his head before dropping his eyes again, still looking and sounding very grave.

"I meant to say that you distracted me," he said, in a low voice. "I had to take the chance to see what you looked like in pictures that weren't meant to be professional, since you haven't taken family pictures in years."

"I don't like having my picture taken," I said.

"And yet, you love modelling."

"One thing has nothing to do with the other."

Itachi sat down elegantly in front of me and crossed his legs, still checking the pictures out. When he lifted his head again, there was a new softness to his features, which were a little thoughtful now.

"It's a little baffling," he said, eyeing me attentively. "How all the pictures came out pretty good, even though you weren't posing at all. They were so good I was trying desperately to find a bad angle from you."

"Did you manage to find it?" I asked, smirking a little at how weird of a statement that was.

"No," he confessed solemnly, as if the thought unsettled him. "I guess you're that kind of good-looking person. How can I say it… maybe one of those rare people who are truly beautiful?"

I blinked a few times, the sentence ringing in my ears like the cry of a hungry child. An odd sort of pain made my chest constrict.

"A man is not supposed to be beautiful," I mumbled, scrunching up my nose to stop the heat from reaching my cheeks. The camera was lifted and a new 'click' I ignored filled the air. " _'Beautiful'_ is a word suited for women. Men are handsome and attractive."

"I didn't mean it like that; I just meant to say you have one of those faces that don't get ugly no matter what," Itachi explained softly, checking the screen again. "Nope, still didn't get it. You ended up looking like the spoiled brat you were at five, but cute all the same."

"Shut up, I'm not cute," I protested, looking away. Where the hell was that idiot, Naruto?

"You are," Itachi insisted teasingly. When my eyes found his again, I found him looking back at me and smiling in his very gentle, very personal way. My lungs suddenly lost the will to function. I swallowed hard and forced myself to breathe.

"Someone like you shouldn't talk about beauty or cuteness," I said, almost in a whisper.

"Mm? And why is that?" Itachi turned the camera off and set it over his lap with care.

"Because you are…" I wet my dry lips – the gesture seemed to have somewhat caught Itachi's attention because he looked at me inquiringly. "… _you_."

He went silent for a while, his dark eyes contemplating me.

"I'm not better than anyone else, Sasuke," he said, carefully. "And no matter what people, or magazines, might say, I am still the same Uchiha Itachi I was before trading this small, cozy town for the bright lights of Tokyo."

"You're still building up your career quickly, and your popularity is getting bigger," I pointed out. "You just might win some award soon and everything."

Itachi gave me a lopsided smile and shrugged his shoulders with simplicity. "It is what it is," he said, leaning in a little. His pale right hand reached out so he could brush his warm, strong knuckles over my chin with the gentlest of touches. "It doesn't mean I can't be proud of my little brother's 'handsomeness', and strongly believe he will surely surpass me some day."

I bit my lip to keep my cool and refrain from either moving my face away or leaning further into his touch.

Itachi patted my cheek gently before breaking the casual contact. With a long yawn, he stretched his arms over his head, and I watched his muscles flex underneath his black sweatshirt. Unlike my hair, that had some natural bluish highlights, his was completely black, but in times like those, the sun would make some of his strands look a very dark grey.

No matter what he might say, Itachi was the kind of stunning person that had one of those very particular appearances that simply _glowed_. He could fill up a whole stadium just by standing there without doing anything at all and I still couldn't figure out if I admired it or was just plain jealous.

"Gosh, I missed being home, but this place is so peaceful it becomes boring," Itachi said, letting his arms drop. "I haven't been this relaxed and carefree since forever."

"Itachi," I called out, my throat suddenly dry.

"What is it?"

"Do you have a lover?"

His eyes narrowed slightly as the corner of his lip twitched upwards condescendingly, and I had to internally scold myself for sounding so damned childish.

"Whatever makes you ask?" He inquired, curiously.

"You're 22 and I've never seen you getting involved with anyone," I explained, promptly pretending I couldn't feel my face becoming red while trying to keep a very standoffish demeanor. "I mean, sure, I've seen you flirt with girls, but you've never really… I mean, I can't remember it, but I don't think you've ever introduced any of your girlfriends to the family… if there were any."

He actually laughed at that. Not a mocking laugh, more like a surprised one, that he quickly muffled so as to not make me feel bad, I think.

"Just because you don't see them it doesn't mean they didn't… _don't_ exist," he explained, shaking his head from side to side. "Maybe I just don't consider them important enough to bother with introducing them to anyone."

I blinked a few times at him. I didn't know how to feel about that. Not that I didn't know Itachi had a considerably active sex life, it just felt weird all of a sudden that he had so little attachments.

"But I do have _someone_ ," Itachi confided, offering me a tiny smile, his eyes scrutinizing my face. "It's not serious, but I'm only human and people need someone to hold them together when they fall apart, whether it's friends, family or a lover." He sighed, longingly. "I wish I could have them all by my side, but one cannot be that lucky, I guess."

I nodded once, unsure of what to say. There were so many things I wanted to ask, but now I wasn't sure how much more I wanted to know.

It was weird how much the thought of Itachi having someone in a not serious relationship offered me some comfort as well as disappointment.

Luckily for me, the sound of a honk brought the conversation to an end and I was immediately distracted by it, leaning to the side to peek over Itachi's body to see Kushina's large red Honda Concerto parking in front of the house.

I got up at once and my brother did the same, turning around to see the newcomers.

Kushina got out of the car in all her glory, looking absolutely gorgeous and youthful in her plain yellow dress.

She flashed us a huge smile as soon as she spotted us before coming to us with light, quick steps, her long, shiny vermillion hair billowing behind her.

"Itachi-kun! Sasuke-chan! Good afternoon!" She greeted joyfully, opening her arms and promptly hugging the both of us before we could even start to protest – which was quite the feat, since both Itachi and I were taller than her.

From over her shoulder, I could see that Naruto remained inside the car, grinning like a lunatic at his mother's expansiveness. Good thing not all the Namikaze were extroverted like that, and that was saying a lot considering Naruto was one of the most sociable people I knew.

I patted Kushina's back awkwardly and she let go, flashing us a big, white toothed smile. Just like my mother, she was a very beautiful woman and Naruto was a lot like her apart from inheriting his father's eyes and hair color.

"Is Miko-chan done with the lunch dishes?" She asked, excitedly. "I'm dying to get started on those damned cherry pies! I've been craving them forever, but I suck at cooking sweets."

"Maybe you're pregnant?" I suggested seriously, causing her to laugh exuberantly.

"No way, I'd be doomed if I had another one like me or Naruto in the family!" She joked, ruffling my hair. "Besides, I'm too old for that."

"Don't be silly, you're still far too young," Itachi said, kindly.

"I'll be off, then," I said with politeness.

"Take care of my airhead of a son and have fun!" Kushina said, as I was walking away from her and my brother, heading for the car where Naruto was waiting. "Don't drink and don't be home late, you have school in the morning!"

"Yes, ma'am," I said, waving at them over my shoulder and walking faster. It wouldn't be good if, for some uncommon bad luck, my father heard her.

Kushina and Minato were the kind of easy-going parents that didn't discriminate anything Naruto did unless he got into some serious trouble – Naruto always did whatever he wanted, anyway. They trusted him to keep his head cleared and know his limitations, and even though the moron was a little too carefree for his own good, his boundaries were well defined, and he would never do anything to bring his parents to shame.

In my case, even though I had an open-minded brother and a kind mother, my father was the incarnation of tradition and conservatism himself, and there were things that he didn't accept. He and Itachi had always clashed because of that.

Of course, Naruto's parents knew I wasn't the perfect teenage prodigy my parents believed me to be, reason as to why I had allowed both mine and Naruto's friends to socialize. I needed some sort of escape from my studies and responsibilities, and Naruto had always been my means to an end, the window that allowed me to breathe and reminded me I was young and supposed to have fun. In sense, Itachi had been so, too.

I got inside the car and closed the door a little too forcefully to see Naruto grinning at me. He had on a pair of dark blue jeans and a bright green t-shirt with all sorts of ridiculous phrases plastered on it in many different colors. It was strangely suiting, and it looked good on him.

He seemed genuinely enthusiastic for some reason, so I couldn't help but smile. "I can't believe your mom let you borrow the car," I said, bemused. "She does remember you still don't have a license, right?"

"Yeah, but you know her, she's cool," Naruto retorted, shrugging nonchalantly and twisting himself on his seat to face me. The car was still on. "She was the one who taught me how to drive. Besides, I have that fake ID and license that Suigetsu got for me during summer break, so we're cool."

"Fine," I said, rolling my eyes. "So, are we going or what?"

"Just wait a bit."

Naruto's eyes became fixed somewhere beside me, so I had to turn my head to the side to see what was attracting his attention – his mom and Itachi had their backs to us and were now chatting as they headed towards the house. I watched them too, frowning at what could be so interesting about that. The door clicked shut and they disappeared from view completely.

"What is it you're looking at…" I grumbled, but the words soon were left hanging in the air because next thing I knew, fingers made contact with my face and made my head turn towards the other side. A mouth was instantly glued to mine and I gasped a little at the contact, but only for a second.

Naruto was pretty direct with these things, something I was thankful for, but that I found a little comical all the same.

The fingers were a little sweaty and became lenient as they brushed my cheek a little awkwardly and I knew I had to give something back because he always made an effort.

I reached out to grab a handful of his t-shirt over his chest and moved my mouth over his reflexively. He responded by opening his willingly and letting me take the lead, which I did. His breath smelled of something sweet and I had a vague curiosity if he might taste sweet as well but refrained from using my tongue – because that was not the place to make out like that at all – and he didn't try it either.

Only the sound of our mouths could be heard over the constant trembling of the engine.

Naruto was a good kisser, so the fact that he made it interesting was a plus for me - not that I would tell him that, of course.

The fact that I knew him well helped a lot, but I still wanted to do things right and not dive into anything like I did during my previous relationships.

The kiss lasted a few seconds and ended when I softly nibbled on his lower lip before pushing him slightly away from me, breathless because he had given me no time to take a breath.

His blue eyes scanned my features, his tongue flicking out to moisten his lips, his flushed face still too close to mine.

"I do hope you start taking the initiative," he whispered, thumb brushing my jawline. "I want to see that dominant side of yours; otherwise I'll start thinking of you as the submissive type."

"In your dreams l, dumbass; I just didn't have plans to do this in front of my parents' house," I defended, letting go of him and folding my arms over my chest. Naruto chuckled and leaned away.

"Fasten your seatbelt, hot stuff, we have to get moving," he said playfully, winking at me at the same time that he fastened his. "It's our first date after all; we can't let it go to waste."

I did as I was told; forcing myself not to roll my eyes again as he expertly turned the steering wheel to the side so that we were on the road and driving off to the next town with a movie theatre we could go to.

"You can get friendly with the radio and have a smoke if you want to, there's a pack inside the dashboard," Naruto informed, shifting a little to make himself more comfortable in his seat.

Nodding, I turned the radio on and started looking for available stations, pressing the black button over and over again and founding nothing worth listening to.

"This sucks," I mumbled, frowning at the offending piece of technology.

"Oh, wait, leave it like that!" Naruto screeched, when the soft drumming of some pop song made its appearance and a girl with a voice similar to a child's began singing. "Holly shit, I love this song!"

I once more did as I was told, but as the song played on, I made a disgruntled face.

"You like this?" I asked, surprised. "What is it?"

"This is Rurutia! How can you not know who she is?" Naruto exclaimed, averting his eyes from the road to look at me with astonishment. "This is one of her greatest singles, 'Butterfly'! She's like, the most awesome female singer ever!"

" _Omnyouza_ have the most awesome female singer ever," I corrected, making a face. "You seriously like this corny shit?"

"It's a beautiful song, Sasuke!" He complained, looking at the road once more. "And yes, I like corny, sentimental shit once in a while."

"Whatever, I'm not fighting with you over music."

"Wise decision," he said, approvingly. "If you're not going to smoke, at least light a cigarette for me."

"Don't fret, I'm on it."

By the time the song ended, Naruto had already a cigarette trapped between his teeth and I was holding one between my fingers.

Since both our windows were down, the wind that got inside the car tousled our hairs but none of us complained. The weather was nice, and the day was hot even for September standards, so it was refreshing.

Gackt's _'Setsugeka'_ could be heard now, and occasionally, I hummed the lyrics while looking out the window at the passing landscape.

"You were making fun of me, but you like Gackt?" Naruto teased, noticing my low singing.

"So, what?" I asked defiantly. "You know I like Gackt."

"No, I know you like Malice Mizer," he corrected.

"Yes, when Gackt was in it," I contradicted.

"Sasuke, Malice Mizer ruled back in the 90's and all that shit, but Gackt is just…"

"Gackt is an amazing singer and an amazing artist, Naruto."

"Of course, he is," Naruto said, condescendingly. "Well, at least you're not into Yellow Fried Chikenz, because that really sucks."

My temper made something unpleasant boil inside my stomach at that.

"Oh, sure, just like Hyde, in Vamps," I countered, almost without thinking, causing Naruto's head to turn to me so quickly the car got out of track for a while.

"How can you say that about Hyde-sama?" He snapped, frowning deeply at me in outrage. "That man is awesome no matter what he does!"

"You just say that because he's androgynous and you have the hots for weird people like that," I stated, more out of the need to nag him than because I meant it.

"Oh, sure, because Gackt has such a fucking butch face!" He contradicted.

I laughed then, feeling a lot better now that Naruto was all worked up like that. It was pretty funny watching his passion while defending his convictions.

Naruto growled, realizing he had been played.

"Asshole," he hissed between clenched teeth, before throwing his cigarette out the window and gripping the steering wheel tightly. "You're such a fucking bastard…"

"It's your fault for getting mad easily," I said, smiling broadly. "It serves you right."

"Let's just… not talk about music, and we'll change the station randomly and stick to whatever's on, okay?" He said, still aggravated.

"Sure."

I pushed the 'search' button once as I took a deep drag in my cigarette. The radio went silent for a while before playing once more. The traditional Japanese melody it offered us made Naruto and I exchange horrified looks.

" _Enka_!" We both said at the same time.

I breathed in deeply to calm myself down.

Fine, so the fucking date hadn't even started and we had already fought once and now not even the radio was being kind to us.

"Just… turn it off." The tone Naruto used let me believe he had been thinking the same thing as me. Not all was lost, then.

"No," I refused, eyeing him defiantly. "We're going to leave it just the way it is because at least now we're both sharing the same opinion on something."

Both of his eyebrows quirked upwards until they vanished behind his spiky fringe.

He then nodded and smiled lightly, re-focusing his attention on the road.

"Enka sucks," he said, with conviction.

"You got that right," I agreed coolly, smashing my cigarette in the car's small grey ashtray.

The silence that followed was a little tense at first but eventually became casual, as per usual. We'd let the whole previous stupidity behind our backs in no time because that was who we were and how things worked between us.

I kept my eyes trained on the moving road ahead of us, pretending I didn't notice Naruto throwing glances at me once in a while.

What felt like hours later, something heavy landed my thigh. When I looked down, a tanned hand was resting there, unmoving.

I stared at it because I didn't want to see Naruto's expression then. I wasn't used to those kinds of things, girls never took the initiative so boldly like this and so soon, and they were never straightforward like that. Except for Karin, but she was just plain crazy.

But the gesture had been so simple it made my heart beat just a little faster.

"Are you okay with this?" Naruto asked, uncertainly. "I can… I mean, if you're uncomfortable…"

I bit my lip. "I'm not uncomfortable at all," I assured him, glad my voice was as firm as I needed it to be. "It's fine."

"Good." He sounded relieved. "We're almost there."

"Yeah." I muttered my understanding, still looking at that hand that felt so warm and reassuring. Naruto was good at that whole thing; he made it all seem so casual, so easy even though he measured his moves cautiously. I wished I could be casual like that and let my guard down like that.

But I was no Naruto. No one was like Naruto.

For the first time, I realized I was happy it was him doing this with me instead of someone else.

I swallowed hard and placed my hand over his. He exhaled so loudly through his nose it could be heard over the music and the wind but didn't look at me, thankfully. Still, there was something new there.

I felt like, little by little, layer by layer, we were slowly stripping ourselves from the things that had formed that huge, thick wall that had existed between us ever since we had met, all those years ago.

"That's nice," he slurred, after a while.

"Yeah," I agreed, closing my eyes. "It is."

_Naruto's POV_

"The date was _my_ idea, so I'm paying for the popcorn and the cokes," I said, already starting to lose my patience, two bills squeezed in my right fist.

"I don't care whose idea it was; I'm not letting you pay," Sasuke hissed with his face contorted in defiance so close to mine I could feel his angered breathing brushing my nose. Slamming his hand stubbornly on the counter, he left a bill there and a few coins. "So please, _Sir_ , do take my money instead of his," he said to the guy waiting on the other side of the counter without really looking at him, dark eyes challenging mine.

The guy had been watching us for a while with his mouth agape, unsure of what to do or say.

"Why are you being like this?" I hissed back, using my free hand to slam it over said money and stopping the guy from reaching out to grab it. "This is _not_ going well, bastard."

"You paid for the tickets, I pay for the snacks; it's only fair," Sasuke growled, threateningly. "So, let go of my money or else."

"Or else, what?" I pressed back, imposingly, my heart racing from a familiar form of adrenaline caused by irritation. "Are you going to break up with me over this? Are you going to hit me? 'Cause there's nothing new about that!"

"Stop being an idiot, Naruto!" He growled, poking my chest with a finger. The adrenaline only increased, and I was this close to either hitting him or doing something much, much worse. "I will not let you pay for everything and that's final!"

"Why not?" I yelled back. "Are you too proud to let me pay, is that it?"

"Yes, that's it, dumbass!" He groaned, and damn, he looked fucking _fine_ when he was angry. "I'm a guy too, and I make more money than you, so I have the right to pay if I want to! And don't try me or I'll steal your fucking car and fill the fucking fuel tank with my own money and you…"

"Erm… I'm sorry, but there are other customers in line…" the employer said nervously. "So, please, that'll be…"

"I can't believe you just discriminated me!" I accused, in disbelief, ignoring the guy or the growing line behind us. I didn't notice any of these things, nor did I care about them. I only cared about how angry I was that Sasuke was being a bitch, and how a date that had been improving was now going down the drain again and why the fuck did the fucking Uchiha had to smell so nice in the first place?! "I'm _not_ inferior to you!"

"I didn't say that! I just want you to stop acting like you've got it all under control when that's not what I want!"

"Then what _do_ you want?"

"We're fucking dating and you don't have to suck up to me!" He yelled, apparently also oblivious to the scene we were making.

"But I want to, that's who I am!"

"Fuck that! If we're a couple, then we have to share these things! It's either that or I swear I will not set foot on that fucking theatre and you'll watch that fucking movie all by yourself!"

"Damn it, Sasuke!"

I don't really know what happened next, or who moved first. I honestly thought we were going to engage in some serious fist fighting then and there, what with the way my body shook with the need to punch that mug of his and the murderous look on his face and yet, when it happened it had nothing to do with that, and by the time I realized what was going to happen it was too late to stop it anyway.

His mouth crashed over mine violently, teeth clanking loudly against mine and sending jolts of pain through my mouth, shaking my whole existence to the very core. He moaned his own pain against me, but did nothing to make it better, only clung to me more and I could do nothing but respond automatically because that tension, that anger was ours and had to be shared, alleviated no matter what.

If that was how it was going to be, _fine_. I hadn't felt that alive in a long time, and the way we connected just then was something overwhelming and not as physical as it sounded. It just was, and we just reacted to it automatically.

For the first time, his arms came around my neck to hold me as close as possible. I unceremoniously dropped the bills to the ground and encircled his waist at once, holding on to him as if scared he might run away. His body felt like it was burning, his heartbeat so fast it was fighting its own, brave battle against mine.

We kissed for what seemed like forever, mouths clashing again and again, teeth trying to bite each other's lips in frivolous attempts to inflict pain. Sometimes, I could swear Sasuke's tongue lashed out for the briefest of moments before regretting it and retreating as if nothing had happened. I had a hard time keeping mine in place, but it wasn't time yet, this shouldn't be the cause for that.

I still had no idea what I was doing. I only knew that, despite the fact that it hurt like a motherfucker – and that we were probably bleeding – I was enjoying it immensely. And it was rather scary.

It was I who ended up shoving him away from me brusquely and he let go automatically, as if already predicting it.

We were both panting as we stared daggers at each other, both trying hard to read what the other's eyes said. My mouth ran dry when I saw a tiny gash on his lower lip which was bleeding slightly. I tasted blood in my mouth and didn't know who it belonged to and didn't care.

It was uncommonly silent around us, but I couldn't care less. I just couldn't find the will to give a fuck because at that moment I was able to see, and understand where Sasuke's allure came from, and it was such a turn on it made it hard to breathe or think coherently.

It was oddly intimidating. It made my chest boil with rage. It made me euphoric.

By the intense, almost wild expression in his predatory eyes, I just had to wonder if Sasuke thought the same about me.

"I…" he panted, under his breath. "Fucking… hate you… right now…"

"I know," I acknowledged, voice equally low and raspy. "Fuck you, too."

"I'm… really sorry, but I have taken the…money on the counter…" the employer said, probably shocked beyond himself. Slowly, the soft murmur of the people around us filled the air, probably gossiping about us or something.

"You can keep the damned change," Sasuke hissed and I was sure I felt the guy shiver from head to toe at the tone.

"Thank you… Sir… If you could… please move to your left side and retrieve your things. Th-thank you very much…"

Without another word, I crouched down to pick my bills to quickly shove them inside my pocket – Sasuke was already grabbing the bag with the four cans of coke hurriedly, face glowing red like a ripe tomato. I seized the popcorn package with identical speed and grabbed for his hand. Like two idiotic kids who had been caught doing something bad, we made a run for it, walking as fast as we could, with as much dignity as we could muster – both more than eager to get the hell out of there.

It was still hard to process what had happened back there, but I was too fired up to talk about it, too annoyed still that Sasuke had pissed me off so much. The fact that he wasn't letting go of my hand didn't help at all. Why the hell did I grab it in the first place?

I was leading us to the exit; certain that Sasuke wouldn't want to stay there after all that when he stopped me, his hand tightening around mine.

I snorted and looked at him with a heavy frown. His hand shifted. Wide-eyed, I felt his cautious fingers intertwining with mine as if he was afraid I might reject the contact.

"We still have a movie to watch," he whispered with more composure than he had showed a few minutes previously. "And the date isn't even close to be over yet."

I was shocked at how good his skin felt against mine, how nicely our hands felt together. Maybe I should've been surprised that his actions didn't surprise me at all, but the contact was unpredictably nice at that moment.

Maybe it had been too long since I been with someone.

Maybe I should've been worried about the fact that his tousled hair, his bleeding lip and his semi ravaged appearance made him look so damned stunning in my eyes.

Damned hormones.

I had never thought about a type of person I fancied since my sexuality had always led me to like several types of people, but Sasuke was something special. Maybe I was into stubborn brunets with shitty personalities that bothered the hell out of me but made me feel all sorts of things on a whole new level.

Maybe I was starting to have a very small, very light crush on him. Or maybe indeed it had been too long since I had someone and was interpreting my feelings all wrong.

Still, I nodded and clasped my fingers around his reassuringly.

I had the temptation of confessing I had a boner and was pretty much pissed off about it but decided against it.

"Let's go wash up first," I said, my voice as calm as his had been. "I'll gladly skip the trailers and all those fucking commercials."

With a mutual, silent agreement, we headed for the nearest bathrooms, still holding hands and promptly ignoring whatever dirty look people might throw at us.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment ;) Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably one of my favorite chapters of the story. I love the final scene with Sasuke and Naruto; it brings back good memories.
> 
> Still not betaed.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Five**

_Naruto's POV_

"Sasuke, can I ask you something?"

As we walked down the main street, just passing time and basically hanging out, the sun was already setting over the tall buildings, painting them in tones of purple and orange. For a moment, I regretted not knowing that busy town very well – it would be nice to know of a cool place to watch the sunset from.

The movie Sasuke and I watched turned out to be a fucking disappointment since it sucked so much we had to entertain ourselves with other more creative activities, like throwing popcorn at random people – or trying to hit certain spots with them – when we weren't kissing just for fun. Sometimes we stopped being bored idiots and actually took the time to watch a few parts of the movie, only to end up badmouthing it shamelessly.

It had been surprisingly fun, and our previous fight had been partially forgotten for the time being since neither of us brought it up again. Even so, I was still thinking about it, and was sure that he was, too.

After that, we just decided to take a walk, hoping to find a good place to have something to eat for dinner before heading back home.

We had quickly gotten accustomed to holding hands from the moment Sasuke had taken the initiative, so by then, we were just strolling about, fingers loosely connected and wrapped around each other in a casual gesture that was actually very comfortable – or at least, I thought so.

"Go ahead."

I scratched the back of my head a bit and looked at him sideways. His free hand was holding his iPhone and he seemed to be texting – probably his mom, to tell her he wasn't coming home for dinner.

"Why are you being this easy-going?"

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked with his eyes still fixed on his mobile phone.

"I mean, you're taking this all pretty well, I think," I said, as he shoved the iPhone inside his pocket. "For a straight guy, that is."

He threw an inquisitive look at me and I proceeded. "It's just… the kissing and the whole being affectionate in public thing." I shrugged. "I mean, are you _really_ okay with all of this? I don't know; you've always dated girls, so I guess I wasn't expecting it."

Sasuke heaved a simple sigh. "I _am_ okay with it," he said, eyes trained on the streets before us. "I mean, it's a little judgmental to presume I'd be disgusted just because I've always dated girls, don't you think?"

"Well, yeah, I just..." I found myself blushing, even if his tone wasn't offended or accusatory. "I'm still a little shocked that you're taking this situation so naturally. Maybe you're not as straight as you thought you were?" My tone was playful, causing him to smirk.

"Maybe I'm not, but it's not like I think that's such a big deal," he said, mysteriously.

My grin became wider at that, and the fact that his thumb was gently caressing my knuckles only made me feel more at ease.

It felt weird to be that close and comfortable with him after we almost bit each other's faces off a few hours previously.

Still, since he was looking where he was going, I allowed him to lead the way and chose to look at him instead.

Damned bastard sure was handsome with that odd, duck butt hair with all those blue highlights, that perfect skin and that damned body. Maybe it wasn't the body but the posture itself – I didn't know what it was, but it fascinated me all of a sudden.

That couldn't be good. Or… well, considering everything, maybe it was.

"What about the other part?" I ask. "You know… prejudice, the way people stare at us?"

"Oh?" He inquired, feigning surprise, as if he hadn't seen the looks people kept throwing at us during the day, especially now that we were so shamelessly holding hands in public. "Is someone staring at us? I didn't notice at all. I thought they were staring because we make such a striking couple."

His sarcasm only made me feel all the more amused so, I laughed. "I'm being serious, Sasuke," I replied, chuckling. "You don't mind?"

"I don't _care_ , Naruto," he said, shrugging as if my question was unnecessary. "I'm not really ready to make it public to our friends and family yet, because this is all very recent and it would be pointless to drop the bomb before knowing if this is even going to work, but as long as we're not seen by anyone we know, I don't mind. I don't know these people; they can go drown themselves for all I care."

My smile became almost painful, but I felt really glad, for some reason.

"You really think we look good together?" I inquired, because even though I knew we were both good looking, I had never really thought about what we'd look like standing side by side.

"I suppose so; we're totally different from each other," he said, casually.

"I guess you're right," I agreed, nodding. "Our looks are nothing alike."

"Yes, you're a blue-eyed, blond moron, and I'm a typical Japanese guy, with dark eyes and dark hair," Sasuke stated, rolling his eyes at me but smirking all the same.

"Like night and day!" I added, grinning. "Or light and dark. Or good and evil…"

"Yeah, I got the idea."

"You're really surprising, you know that?" I said, honestly, surprising even myself with such a statement.

"I like to think so," he replied, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"So, you feel perfectly fine and comfortable with me?"

I was curious. There was definitely something going on between us, something that hadn't been there before, and I had to know if he felt the same way.

Sasuke eyed me briefly, for a moment looking too mature before looking away with a thoughtful expression.

"Look, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't... _apprehensive_ at the beginning," he admitted. "I did wonder if I could go through with it, but then we kissed a little more seriously and... I don't know, being with you like that stopped being an issue altogether." He then smiled. "Come on, we've known each other for more than half of our lives."

"Yeah, but we never really got along most of the times," I reminded. "It's kind of fascinating that we went from punching to kissing in just a few days, right?"

His eyes seemed to gain a new life to them all of a sudden. "I suppose," he said, elbowing me rather roughly but playfully, so I elbowed him back with greater force and he stumbled a bit clumsily to the side, colliding with two middle-aged men who were coming from the opposite direction towards us, who eyed us reproachfully.

I laughed loudly as Sasuke blushed violently and stopped walking to bow formally in front of them and apologize, but I tugged at his hand to pull him along, ignoring the disgusted look the men threw at us when noticed our joined hands as we kept walking.

"You're such a fucking moron!" Sasuke groaned with his teeth clenched, still embarrassed. "At least be careful, geez!"

"Don't be so uptight, it's fine!" I replied with a large grin, purposefully kissing him on the cheek and making him grimace. My eyes caught sight of something. "Oh, look, that place looks great!"

I pointed to a tiny, cozy looking restaurant at end of the street, right across the road.

"It looks disgusting, old and small," Sasuke grumbled, frowning. "I think I prefer to have pizza or something."

"You said you didn't want fast food!" I accused.

"It sounds a lot better than that place," he insisted, stubbornly. "Besides…"

"No way, they serve ramen there!" I cut, feeling suddenly overjoyed. "We are _so_ going!"

"We are so _not…_ "

But I would have none of that. I wanted ramen, I was going to have ramen and he would, too, even if I had to shove it down his throat because it had always been his fault that the guys always preferred everything else to ramen when we all hung out.

Without bothering to listen to a word he was saying, I pulled him along, ignoring his threats and protests.

000

The place ended up not being so bad after all. It was very clean, simple and traditional looking, what with the polished low tables perfectly aligned on opposite sides of the tiny room and the many white paper lamps dangling from the ceiling.

By the time we sat down on the floor over the fluffy cushions in front of each other I was more than happy to have found such an old-fashioned place in the middle of the city.

I made a comment about feeling like we were back to the samurai days and Sasuke just grunted something intelligible, probably resigned to the place, and not admitting his defeat despite having just witnessed that it was quite nice – and quiet -, something he should appreciate.

Apart from us, the only other customers were two old ladies that seemed to be drinking sake and talking cheerfully.

The young waitress dressed in a humble white _Kimono_ came to our table, immediately setting two clay cups in front of us and pouring us some tea that smelled of something flowery.

I ordered _Tyashu Ramen_ while Sasuke preferred _Yasai Ramen_.

The girl was all smiles and blushes before leaving, eyeing us both with some sort of shy awareness. I knew we were attractive in different ways; I just couldn't help wondering what people thought about when looking at happy-go-lucky me and mysterious prick Sasuke together.

"What do you think about sex?" I asked, casually supporting both my elbows on the table as he sipped his tea elegantly.

His dark eyes looked up at me and he set his cup down slowly, straightening his back.

"I think you are way over your head if you think you're getting lucky any time soon," he replied, with false seriousness, the corner of his lips twitching a bit upwards.

"Shut up, I didn't mean it like that!" I exclaimed, feeling my cheeks burn up at once. "I wasn't even thinking about anything of the sort!"

"Then what _were_ you thinking about?" He asked, resting his cheek over his closed fist, gazing at me with apparent interest, his other hand carefully placed at the center of the table, easily within my reach, perfect fingers drumming rhythmically over the wooden surface.

"I was wondering how you feel about sex in general," I corrected. "As in, do you like it? Is it something normal for you or do you have certain ethics? You know what I mean?"

It was kind of weird, but I basically knew everything about his life and the people he had dated, but had little to no knowledge of how his sex life worked – and was sure he wasn't very aware of mine either. It just wasn't something we usually discussed like that, so of course my curiosity was peaked. Sex was no taboo to me, and I wanted him to understand that and feel comfortable to tell me about himself.

"Well, I'll tell you how I feel about it if you tell me how you feel about it first," Sasuke suggested, naturally. "You've asked many questions so far, so now it's your turn to talk."

"Fair enough," I agreed, taking advantage of how close his hand was to place mine over it. "I like sex, obviously. I think people tend to make too much of a big deal over it, though."

I brushed the tips of my fingers over the back of his hand gently and his eyes dropped to watch the gesture, but I kept looking at him, slightly amazed at how soft the skin was.

"I don't just do it with everyone, nor like to do it with random people, but I'm not the type of person who would say 'no' if someone relatively close to me wanted to do it and I was in the mood, and the level of attraction was right," I proceed, my voice getting a bit lower out of discretion. "I don't like being teased without a purpose. I hate it when people touch and do shit that lead me to think they want something and then back away when things heat up. That's probably me being an asshole and them being stupid idiots who like being in control, but I don't care. I like people who can make up their minds and not waste my time."

"They either want it or they don't," Sasuke nodded, understandingly. "It makes sense."

"Yeah. I just… I don't know, I like straightforwardness."

"Yes, I can certainly be witness to that," he muttered, smirking slightly and turning his palm upwards, so that I could caress it. He seemed oddly fascinated by our hands, too.

"It's your turn," I said, tickling his hand a bit.

Sasuke sighed, rolling his shoulders and flexing his hand so that his fingers were grabbing mine, playing with them almost flirtatiously.

"I don't mind sex," he began, dispassionately. "Like you, I enjoy it, but I'm afraid I'm not that open minded. I don't fuck anyone just because I'm in the mood; I usually just do it with the person I'm dating."

"Hey, I don't fuck any outsiders when I'm in a relationship!" I defended, a little offended that he would think such a thing.

"I know, silly, I'm just saying," he said, heaving a sigh, looking at me with a frown. "Sex is great, and I think it happens when it has to. I don't really have any particular moral standards when it comes to stuff I don't know; I don't think that two people have to know each other deeply or to love each other to do it or anything, even if I'm sure it must feel amazing to fuck someone you love." He stopped for a moment, his frown deepening and I couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking about the person he liked. "I guess I just go along with it when my partner wants it. I'd be stupid to turn it down."

I laughed, deciding to not question his pause. "You make it sound like it's an obligation," I pointed out, moving my hand upwards so my fingers were rubbing the inside of his wrist, slowly. "Like, you did it with your girlfriends just because you could, to please them rather than yourself."

"It's not like that, but it's not like I felt attraction all the time; sometimes it took effort on my part to be in the mood." His grin became a little mischievous. "It's not that bad; sex is sex."

My chin fell. "So, you never really felt… _hot_ for anyone? I mean, just by looking at them, and touching them… you know, like, immediate attraction and BAM, sex?" I asked a little bewildered.

"Not really," he admitted, pursing his lips together thoughtfully. "I guess I was a bit attracted to Karin, but that only started after we did it for the first time because she was a pretty good lay and I could actually look forward to it."

"Okay, that's my cousin you're talking about, so shush, I don't want to hear it," I replied, waving my other hand to dismiss the subject and the unwanted images running around my brain. "Come on, Sasuke, a guy like you? You have sex appeal, and dated really gorgeous, hot girls. You didn't feel attracted to any of them?"

"All my relationships failed," he pressed on, as if it was obvious. "That only got worse once I became attracted to that person I told you about. Compared to that person, they all seemed and looked painfully plain."

We were silent for a while, him tickling my palm now, me tracing invisible patterns on his wrist with my index finger.

"That person must be really something for you to not be able to find a suitable replacement after all this time," I mused, gently.

"It's not like that," Sasuke said. "I'm so stupid it's fucking unbelievable, even to me."

"Will you ever tell me who it is?" I inquired, hopefully.

"I hope I don't ever have to," he said, offering me a lopsided smile. "You're better off not knowing, anyway."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

The subject seemed to have suddenly soured the mood between us a bit, as proven by the tense silence that followed.

Somehow, I felt sorry for him and wanted, more than ever, to get him out of whatever pain his heart was enduring.

The waitress arrived with our orders and stopped in her tracks when she took notice of the way we were touching. We placidly broke the contact and she settled each bowl and chopsticks in front of the one who had requested it with shaky hands. She was stuttering her cordialities by the time we thanked her for the food.

We each removed the chopsticks from their wrappings, tore them apart and muttered our formal quotes before digging in.

It was fucking delicious, probably the best ramen I'd ever had in my whole life, so I allowed myself to relish on its greatness in silence as I ate happily.

"I was wondering," I said, after a while, Sasuke holding the noodles in his chopsticks and blowing on them to cool them. "With me, do you feel something different from your previous relationships?"

He eyed me with his brows raised, becoming still. Then, he shrugged slightly and brought the noodles to his mouth.

"So?" I insisted, patiently, as he chewed.

"Yeah," he ended up saying. "I don't have to act differently; I feel at ease with you – despite the little, uncalled for arguments – and that's enjoyable. I'm getting used to it rather easily, so I guess that makes it good."

His words made my heart pump faster for some reason.

"So, you like it?" I inquired. "Being with me?"

"Yes, I surprisingly do," he acknowledged. "We're friends after all. It feels different with you. A nice kind of different."

All I could do was smile at that because it made me really happy.

"Nee, Sasuke," I nagged, reaching out across the table to grab his arm and shake it vigorously. "Let's share a noodle! Like they do in 'Lady and the Tramp'! That'd be awesome!"

"Do I look like a dog to you?" He looked and sounded affronted, but I only smiled wider.

"No, but I'm sure you'd love it if I licked all the unwanted stock out of you." Sasuke rolled his eyes but ended up smiling condescendingly at me.

"If you wanted to role play a Disney movie we might as well have gone to an Italian restaurant like I had suggested."

"You suggested having pizza; you never said anything about an Italian restaurant!"

"I had the impression that they served pizza there."

"Well, duh, but we would have to have spaghetti instead of pizza to do the cute doggy kiss scene, though."

"Just eat your _ramen_ , weirdo."

_Sasuke's POV_

It was almost ten o'clock when Naruto parked the car in front of my house. The street around us was empty even though the lights were still on in the surrounding houses.

I felt surprisingly lightheaded, but that might've just been because of the three beers we each had from a nearby gas station before getting there. Naruto had somehow convinced some college guy to get them for us even though he had his fake ID with him.

I also felt pretty good – good as in, in a good mood, simply content; happy even.

Well, not _happy_ but definitely _content._ I didn't really feel like going home at all, but we had class in the morning and I really didn't want to make my dad angry by not respecting my curfew.

Naruto and I had even, finally, been able to agree on a single amateur radio station on our way back since there was only foreign music on, and it was a special 80's night, which both of us enjoyed. Listening to good music, singing 'Home Sweet Home' from Mötley Crüe at the top of our lungs, and drinking and smoking – Naruto driving the car as slowly as legally allowed – was definitely the perfect way to finish the date.

I had never really felt that way after a date before. Most of the times, I just spent my dates wishing they could be over as quickly as possible, no matter how cute or interesting the girl was.

Dates with girls weren't really that different from the one I had just had with Naruto, but this one felt really different for some reason – maybe because I felt so much at ease. It was nice, for a change, to have been able to be myself and just do things I enjoyed doing instead of doing things what girls liked doing and being nice to please them.

Naruto turned the car off and turned his head to me, hands still on the steering wheel, a small, rather endearing smile gracing his lips. I leaned my head back against the back of my seat and turned it towards him.

His teeth seemed too white and his eyes seemed unnaturally blue in the semi darkness of the car.

"So," he said, a little sluggish. "Can I walk you home?"

My lips twitched at the sides and I rolled my eyes in amusement. "Really, Naruto?" I asked teasingly.

"Don't give that 'I'm not a girl' look!" He said, chuckling. "Can't a guy be nice to another guy without said guy thinking I'm trying to make him feel gay? I promise I won't open the door for you to get out of the car if that makes you feel better."

I couldn't help but to laugh at that, causing him to smile further.

"You look really nice when you laugh like that," he complimented, naturally, eyes glued to me with a strange kind of intensity.

"Are you drunk?" I asked, still laughing. Seriously, was the guy actually complimenting me?

"No, but I bet you are, laughing like that," Naruto muttered, amused. "What? You already know I think you're hot."

"Oh, please, don't flirt with me," I pleaded, wiping tears of laughter from the corner of my eyes. "I don't think I can keep up with something like that right now."

"Aw, I can't believe the great Uchiha Sasuke is saying he can't keep up with something," Naruto joked, grinning evilly. Without me noticing, he had somehow gotten closer because his right hand was playing gently with my hair, caressing a few locks almost innocently between his fingers. "I think you just lost a bit of your appeal."

I blinked a little and quirked an eyebrow at him. The way his knuckles then brushed over my cheek almost coincidentally was really nice and, once more, I couldn't help but notice just how easy it was for him to be all seductive like that. He was good; no wonder people fawned all over him.

I had always seen him as the rebel moron who said stupid things and was as clumsy as a five-year-old, and yet, I had to admit that this capable and confident side of him was really something. I liked that, more than I would ever admit.

"Is that so?" I mused. "I can't have you losing your interest so soon, can I?"

He gave me a lopsided smile and leaned forward a bit more, moving his left hand from the steering wheel to rest it on the handbrake to support his weight. His other hand – the one that had been playing with my hair – moved to touch my shoulder as his face came closer to mine until our noses were almost touching.

I eyed him, a little intrigued. "What?" I asked, staring straight into his eyes and noticing just how clear and bright they were – probably the bluest I had ever seen. Bluer than the sky, or the sea, or… something very blue.

I had never taken real notice of it before. I mean, I knew that he had nice eyes, all expressive and painfully honest, but I had never considered them as something beautiful – which they were.

"Nothing," he said sweetly.

"Right." I smirked.

He didn't smirk back, not really, because his expression became simpler as his face came closer once more.

For a fleeting moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, which was fine, of course, but no. Instead, his lips came into contact with the corner my mouth in the softest of brushes and then moved forward, to my cheek, kissing it with equal gentleness.

_Oh._

I automatically turned my head a little to the side to give him more access and then stood still, wondering what was it that the moron was doing until his lips travelled lower, to my jaw, having an instantaneous perception of my permission. His breath was calm and warm and brushed over my skin in a soothing way.

I sighed and tilted my head to the opposite side this time as his lips pressed lower still, to a very special spot of mine right below my ear that made an unwanted appreciative sound come out of my throat.

"You like that?" He whispered huskily in my ear, before kissing the same spot again.

"Yeah," I muttered, closing my eyes because it really felt good and I liked that goose bump sensation that assaulted me from head to toe and that drowsy feeling that made my head spin slightly.

"You smell really nice," Naruto said, brushing his nose slowly over the curve of my neck and inhaling gently.

"You're such a pervert," I teased, wetting my lips and revealing yet more of my neck to him invitingly. "Stop sniffing me, you moron."

"I'm not sniffing you, I'm just breathing," he said, grinning against my skin. "And you like it when I'm perverted; you just go along with it so nicely."

"I go along because…" I forgot what I was saying because he bit down carefully on my neck and then gave it a small, playful lick that sent shivers running down my spine and a loud, very embarrassing moan escape my mouth. "Ah, that's good. Shit, I feel drunk."

And I did, but it wasn't exactly because of the beer – that was just the excuse I planned to use in case all of that felt too weird and awkward the next day.

"You're not that drunk, you just like me doing these things to you." Naruto leaned away slightly, and I opened my eyes to see him watching me closely with a slightly glazed look in his studious eyes.

I watched him back, a little resentful that he wasn't doing anything else anymore. I liked physical contact with the right people and wasn't shy about it at all. I was all for having a good time and the night was going well.

My heart was beating a little too fast inside my chest, and even though I felt pretty calm, looking at his face made all my nerves boil underneath my skin, making me feel a little hot. It was an odd feeling, too, because I never got that worked up for someone else over holding hands and a few, innocent kisses.

Well, that public scene we made at the movie theatre wasn't exactly innocent. That had been kind of hot, actually.

Naruto also looked hot, all flushed like that, eyeing me like I was some piece of fresh meat or something, as if he wanted to eat me alive and didn't care if I noticed it.

Was I supposed to be scared? Because I wasn't – I was pretty curious actually.

Urgh, I couldn't possibly be that buzzed, could I? How could I feel that pull towards a guy – and one towards whom I had never felt anything but companionship and annoyance after just a few days?

"You think I'm attractive," Naruto stated in a singsong way, and it wasn't a question, but a cocky affirmation.

"Maybe," I replied without thinking. After realizing what I just said, I felt stupid but not exactly ashamed because it was true. Naruto _was_ attractive, there was no denying it – the whole school and the whole town acknowledged it and I had just acknowledged it myself.

I bit my lip, watching him grin like a silly, self-satisfied buffoon.

"That's good news, right?" He said, cheerfully.

"I guess so," I muttered, biting my lip as my eyes fell to his mouth.

"You should go home, or your parents will freak out," Naruto muttered, pressing his finger to the seatbelt button near my thigh and easily unlocking the strap that was around my torso.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" I whispered, looking up at him again while re-adjusting my arm to let the strap roll by itself to its proper place.

Naruto beamed at me mysteriously, yet with surprising charm. His hand was still on my shoulder, his thumb rubbing it softly.

"Do I look like I want to get rid of you?" He asked, leaning in once more suggestively, his thumb now sneaking its way to the collar of my t-shirt and getting underneath it, repeating the previous gesture but directly over my skin.

The action was simple but enough to make me warm up all over.

Damn, why did his eyes look so bright? They were like fucking lanterns.

"Mm…" It was all I could utter before letting my vision meet his mouth once more. "I'll see you tomorrow at the usual place?" I inquired casually, and in a low voice. He sighed a little, frowning.

"Uh, no can do, tomorrow I promised Kiba I'd pick him up," he explained in an equal tone, as if it was a hassle. "You know, since today we didn't get to spend it the way we usually did."

"Oh, yes, the 'PS Heaven Sunday'," I said, sarcastically. "How could I forget such an important event."

His frown deepened. "Well, it's been a ritual between Kiba and me for ages, so…"

"I know, don't be upset," I placated, offering him a simple smile. "He bought the shit you made up as an excuse for today, I hope?"

"Yeah, I told him I owed you money, so you forced me to spend the day with you to help you run your errands," he said, face relaxing slowly until he was smiling gently again. "He was a little pissed off, so don't mind him if he throws some nasty remark at you tomorrow."

"Whatever, I knew you'd blame it on me, anyway."

"Maa, don't be like that."

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. I really didn't care what dog lover thought about me, it wasn't like we got along all that well anyway – we just did because he was friends with Naruto and a friend of Shikamaru's, who was good friends with all of us.

"I better get going," I said unenthusiastically, placing my hand over his on my shoulder reflexively. "You should let go of me now."

Naruto was so close I could feel his breath all over my face, warm and smelling a little of beer and cigarettes, which didn't mean it was a bad thing. He bit on his lower lip a little hesitantly.

"What?" I asked yet again, feeling rather stupid.

"I think I'm a little into you," he confessed, cautiously as if scared I would run away or something. I pressed my lips into a thin line, my chest becoming heavy. "I mean, I don't know. It's really funny because I had never seen you as anything of the sort before all of this, but I think you just might be my type."

"I didn't know you had a type," I whispered back, my own voice sounding too soft, or too weak, maybe.

"Neither did I," he admitted, grinning awkwardly. "It's just… there is this whole thing about you that is kind of new to me. Not because you're straight, more like, your whole attitude is different from what I'm used to and you're… the things you do and the way you kiss. I think it's a real turn on. Is it just me? I think we have some chemistry going on or something."

I swallowed hard; my heartbeat rough inside my chest. I felt a very unfamiliar chill of excitement going down my spine – I wasn't used to these kinds of things at all. Girls didn't say stuff like that, but Naruto's straightforwardness was overwhelming.

I almost felt like laughing. Almost, but I didn't because, at some point, I just stopped listening to what he was babbling about.

"Naruto," I called out, and that was all I was able to say.

I then twisted my body to face him and moved closer, reacting without thinking and pressing my lips to his, the suddenness of it turning it forceful at first.

Naruto didn't protest or refused it, instead letting out a sigh through his nose as his eyes closed. I let mine fall shut as well, and the arm that wasn't trapped between me and the seat reached out to encircle his neck and pull him close. Slowly, tentatively, I moved my mouth over his and he responded with the same care, patiently, waiting for whatever it was that I wanted to do.

And for some unknown reason, I knew exactly what I wanted to do – what I felt like doing.

I didn't need to think much, I just let my tongue move lightly over his lower lip first, testing out his reaction. Naruto just made a compliant sound that I found motivating. My tongue then brushed over his upper lip, causing his mouth to still for a few seconds and part more in a clear, rather seductive invitation. As my tongue invaded his mouth, his body shook ever so slightly, but his own tongue didn't hesitate, touching mine lightly.

When his hand moved from my shoulder to caress the nape of my neck and his other hand left the handbrake to grab my knee firmly, I felt very drunk indeed.

Naruto tasted of beer and something else that was very his. It wasn't unpleasant.

There was no shyness, just the meticulous experimenting of two people who had never kissed each other like that before.

Naruto made an unintelligible sound with the back of his throat before deepening the kiss and pulling me closer a little brusquely, our chests colliding vigorously and awkwardly since our positions weren't exactly comfortable. Something twitched inside of me, my muscles trembling with excitement.

I was still a little unaccustomed to the feel of his body, hard and lacking in soft, curvy spots that I didn't miss as much as I thought I would. Just then, though, that roughness in him was hardly an issue.

A hand placed itself over my thigh and it made all sorts of familiar signals reach my brain. My own hand shifted so that my fingers ran over the back of his head, closing around soft, wild strands of blond hair.

He kissed expertly with something akin to carefree ease but that had a hint of domination to it that took me by surprise, but only for a few moments, because if he was even thinking about having the upper hand in this, he was seriously mistaken.

I had no intention of being submissive and he had better realize it sooner rather later.

So, I shifted so that we could be even closer and gave him a piece of my own charm, head tilting more to the side opposed to which his own head was turned to, to have more access. By the way his lips formed what I supposed was a grin, he approved.

And it was something kind of amazing. Our tongues met repeatedly, and our mouths moved quicker this time, and it was sloppy, noisy but perfectly synced.

I was vaguely aware of his fingers coming upwards still, almost at my groin, but at the time, that only made my hormones go wild and my heartbeat increase powerfully.

It was hard to breathe.

When I let out an almost incoherent moan, I realized that I was letting go and that maybe, just maybe this was a bad idea after all, especially because we were openly making out in front of my parents' house in the street where I lived. But bad ideas always felt good anyway, and that one was fucking amazing. I hadn't had a kiss like that in… maybe ever? Not with me feeling it and getting into it like that.

It wasn't exactly passionate because that would've involved feelings other than just plain teenage horniness, but it sure was enthusiastic and pretty exciting.

So maybe, just maybe, Naruto was right – there was some form of chemistry there.

It was when I felt my blood flowing downwards to all the wrong places that I knew it was time to stop.

Reluctantly, I pulled slightly at his hair and broke the kiss, the smacking sound our mouths made at parting echoing furiously in the air.

Unfocused blue eyes stared narrowly at me and I almost blushed at the thought of what I had just done and how much I had enjoyed it.

I scanned his rosy features quietly to regain my breath, but he chose to speak instead.

"Shit, Sasuke," he sighed, wetting his lips with the tip of his tongue in an almost sensual gesture. "Did you feel that? I think I'm definitely into you."

"You're such a fucking idiot. Did this answer your questions?" I muttered, joining our foreheads to try and placate my wild heartbeat.

"Huh… I guess so," he mumbled, brushing his nose over mine purposefully. "I just… it's only been a few days, you know?"

"I do know," I said, swallowing hard. "It's mutual… I think. Or maybe I'm just horny, I don't know."

He laughed. "Don't delude yourself. Even if it's just physical, it's a good start," he stated, leaning away a little to smile at me, and I nodded once in agreement. "Imagine if we do this every time we're pissed at each other… Although I don't think I'd mind the whole punching and kissing thing either. That could be hot, too."

"You're a little masochistic, aren't you?" I asked, while looking at him.

"I don't know; I never had a chance to confirm it," he said, grinning playfully.

"Right," I said, letting my hand drop to his chest. His heart was beating so fast I was kind of amazed how he could look so calm. "I have to go, now. It's getting really late."

"Yeah," he muttered, wetting his lips once more as we stared at each other. "Go on, I don't want your parents to freak out."

For a long while, we just stared at each other, inhaling and exhaling slowly, not moving from our positions that still kept us too close to each other.

"You don't want to go, do you?" He asked smugly. His hand on my thigh was well behaved but immensely distracting, so I put my own over his and removed it gently, but he grabbed the tips of my fingers, pouting a little.

"I really _am_ going, now," I announced softly, in a warning murmur, before giving him a light peck. When I broke away, his lips followed mine, but I just let out a small, pathetic laugh and let go of him, shoving him away and opening the door. "Don't bother to walk me home."

"Aw, but…" he whined, hands grabbing the hem of my t-shirt as I stepped out of the car, so I patted them away. "Sasukeeeeee…"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Naruto," I said, waving goodbye and promptly closing the door in his childish sulking face.

I did see him grinning stupidly before turning around to head home. My legs felt like jelly all the way and every cell in my body was agitated. It was best not to look back, or I was sure I would have the impulse to go back. I felt too good, but my emotions felt too raw to get close to him again.

With victorious composure, I was able to shove the key inside the lock and open it.

The entrance hall was dark and the whole house seemed fairly quiet, but the sound of the TV let me know that everybody was in the living room.

"I'm home!" I announced, while closing the door behind me and leaning my back on it for support.

"Welcome home, honey!" My mother's voice greeted, sounding way too distant. "There's some _O'nigiri_ in the fridge if you are hungry!"

"I'm fine."

I needed a moment for my hormones to cool down, that was all.

So, Naruto was into me and I had this thing going on that made me react to him. Big deal.

By then it was no news to me that I might not be completely straight after all.

But it was a big deal because I had never felt attracted to someone I was intimate with like that before – and the fact that said person was a guy (and Naruto) was fine, albeit surprising.

The whole purpose of us dating was exactly that – being attracted, feeling good, trusting, falling in love…

All those things seemed positively close, and yet, far. The body could feel attraction easily, but the heart was a different matter and I knew it would take a while for that to happen to us.

Still, this was a good start and I wouldn't debate on it too much because there was no reason to. It was going better than expected anyway – I was sure it could only turn out even better from then on. Besides, even though it was unexpected, I genuinely enjoyed my time spent with my idiot rival. I sure as hell would do nothing to stop whatever crossed my path with Naruto from happening because I couldn't afford to. I needed him, and that night had been my proof that if someone in this world would ever be able to help me, it would definitely be him.

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, making sure my clothes were all composed before making my way to the living room.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment ;) 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not betaed, unfortunately.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Six**

_Sasuke's POV_

I was sitting on my bed, my back resting against the fluffy pillows, legs stretched out and feet crossed at the ankles as I pressed the red button on the screen of my iPhone.

Tilting my head backwards, the back hitting the headboard, I heaved a long, tired sigh.

"What's wrong?"

At hearing Itachi's voice I looked up to the entrance of my room to see my brother standing there.

"Nothing," I said simply. "The agency called. There's a new client interested in me; something about body painting or whatever, I don't know the details yet."

"Body painting?" Itachi asked, coming in and sitting on the edge of the bed next to my leg. I watched carefully as he supported his hand over the mattress on the other side of them, his hip coming into contact with mine. "You do realize you'll have to be naked."

He eyed me with curiosity, scrutinizing me for any give away of my thoughts, but I just set the mobile phone aside and laced my fingers over my abdomen. "Yeah, I know," I replied, casually.

"Are you comfortable with that?" My brother looked seriously concerned.

"Sure, as long as my dick doesn't show in the pictures, why not?" I joked, smirking.

He frowned heavily and I thought he was going to scold me. "You can refuse it, you know," he said, instead.

"I'm not refusing anything until I talk to the photographer, Itachi."

"Yes, but if it's too exposing, you might as well decline it," Itachi said, head tilting to the side and causing long strands of his now loose hair to hang near his shoulder. "You're still too young; you don't have to sell your body just to sell your image."

"I have my own boundaries, just so you know," I retorted, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I trust your judgment," he assured, but gravely so. "When will you need to leave?"

"By the end of next week."

"Well, we'll go together then. It's about time I got back."

"You'll be starring in a movie soon, right?" I questioned. He smiled; white, perfect teeth showing briefly in sarcasm.

I had to bite my lip at the sudden twitching in my stomach.

"Yeah, it's my first action movie. Hurray for that."

"You should be happy," I said, managing a not so fake smile in return.

It was true that I felt a little jealous of how popular he was and how much people in the industry fawned all over him and wanted him for everything. He had accomplished a lot in a short time, and even though I was getting there, slowly, I knew I was nowhere near having the same charisma and whatever it was that he had that attracted people's attention to him.

"I am," he admitted, with an elegant shift of his head. "Even more so now that I know you'll be coming to Tokyo with me."

His face looked normal, but there was an odd gleam in his eyes that let me know he was really happy about it.

He had always been like that, wanting me around so that he could take care of me; show me his world, the people he related to, and getting me involved in everything.

I genuinely enjoyed that, but…

"I'm sure I can persuade you to stay this time."

My heart skipped a beat at his words, and yet, I rolled my eyes at him in annoyance. "Don't start."

"I didn't say anything," he said, feigning innocence before slapping my leg. "Move over."

"What the hell are you doing?" I inquired, a sudden fear coming over me as he moved closer with clear intention of sitting next to me or something, so I moved to the side – to the opposite side of the bed – more out of the need to be as far away from him as possible. However, he didn't sit by my side – he lay down on his back and put his head over my lap, legs dangling from the edge of the bed as he smiled up at me mischievously.

"I'm snuggling," he explained, casually.

I spent a few nervous seconds with my head tilted down, breathing slowly, in and out, eyes shamelessly glued to the long strands of his ebony hair spread across my thighs. His features softened and he looked back at me with eyes that always seemed far too evaluating, so knowing it made me feel anxious.

"I can see that," I said, after clearing my throat. "What are you, five?"

"Don't be unpleasant, little brother," Itachi mumbled, reaching out to tug at one of my bangs. "You used to love it when you were little. You'd always come to my bed when you were cold, remember?"

"I wish I didn't," I replied, frowning at such an embarrassing memory. "I'm seventeen, now."

"Unfortunately."

"Hey!"

"You used to be such an adorable kid," he reminisced with a sigh as his soft, slim fingers brushed my jaw. "Now you're just a moody brat."

It was a harmless gesture, simple, innocent and almost unconscious, but to me, it felt like the most indecent thing in the world. Indecent because it felt like too much to bear.

Itachi's smile disappeared completely to give place to a thoughtful countenance. "I wonder what happened to change you so much," he whispered softly, once again looking at me like he wanted to understand every little thing that plagued my mind.

I became scared that he might just be able to see it.

My heart hammered powerfully in my chest.

When the digits brushed over my chin cautiously and trailed upwards, the tips touching my lips, I resisted the urge to lean into the touch, to press my lips to those fingers and just let go – get rid of that tension that seemed to take over my body.

I knew he wouldn't oppose to something so simple like that - it wasn't a big deal - and it would be so nice to just relieve that tension, that need in me, even if for just a second.

_I can't do this._

The thought was enough to bring me back to reality.

I couldn't go back to Tokyo with him by myself – I would ruin everything, of that I was sure, and I couldn't do that; I couldn't destroy one of the most important bonds I had.

But I would. I would crack, eventually, and I _couldn't_ , I wouldn't when I had been fighting it so hard.

I couldn't be alone with Itachi in Tokyo.

I grabbed Itachi's wrist resolutely, causing him to raise his eyebrows at me.

"Itachi…" I muttered, biting my lip. "There is something about me you should know."

_Naruto's POV_

The ruckus coming from my dad's workplace could be heard throughout the house that morning. It was way too noisy for such an early hour, a sign that he wasn't alone and that a certain annoying someone was pestering him – a common occurrence ever since my dad's latest _Shounen_ _Manga_ had become popular a few months previously.

I was just coming out of the kitchen, still chewing on my last bit of pancake and on my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth when I heard my dad swear loudly, causing me to stop in my tracks. The door to the small office was slightly ajar, so I promptly pushed it open without knocking and got inside to see my dad sitting at his desk, surrounded by a mess of unorganized paperwork with Kakashi behind him, looking over his shoulder.

Dad looked annoyed, face scrunched up and lips pressed together as he sketched something furiously with a regular pencil.

The office was a relatively plain place, with only his huge desk and a few shelves filled with _manga_ and books. He also had a small apartment a few blocks away where he worked most of the times with the help of his four male assistants.

Kakashi was Editor in Chief for the company that had launched my dad, and was his personal editor and counsellor. My dad had been his teacher in high school – yes, he did teach math for a while before becoming a _Mangaka_ – and they had quite a good relationship. It was Kakashi that convinced dad to pursue his dream of drawing _manga_ and worked hard so that he could point out the right path for him to follow. They had been friends for longer than I have existed.

However, business was business and Kakashi could be pretty merciless sometimes.

Kakashi's head lifted up to see me coming in, but my dad kept doodling. "Naruto, good morning!" He greeted cheerfully, smiling behind that stupid white mask he always wore like he had some kind of constant disease. He was wearing a simple dark blue sweater over a pair of expensive looking jeans that made him look much older than he was – as if the grey hair didn't age him enough. Frankly, I had no idea how old he was, but he had to be much younger than my dad since he had been Itachi's _senpai_ in high school.

I swallowed the bit of pancake in my mouth.

"'Morning. What are you guys doing?" I asked, wiping my mouth with my wrist carelessly.

"Apparently, my new villain sucks," dad replied, still frowning heavily without looking at me. "And they want a new, cooler one by the end of the day."

" _Sense_ i, he wouldn't suck if he was one of those secondary characters that comes and goes, never to be seen again," Kakashi said, sighing. "But if he's going to be one of the main villains, he has to be more than just 'okay'. He has to be something out this world."

I walked closer to the desk to peak over it and see the many sketches lying there uselessly. My eyes scanned the ones in view, and I didn't need to check out the ones underneath them to understand Kakashi's point of view.

My father's artwork was beautiful and realistic, as always, but all the characters he drew were either too plain or exaggeratedly elaborated.

"You want to be a _mangaka_ as well, right?" Kakashi asked, eyeing me curiously. "What do you think of them? Considering your dad is working on an _action_ _manga_ , of course."

I noticed how he emphasized the 'action' part as if it were meant to be offensive, which probably was, since my dad flinched and gripped his pencil tighter.

"I think they're good and shouldn't be thrown away for future character possibilities," I muttered thoughtfully, eyeing the drawings. "But a villain has to be someone whose power and strength can match the hero's. If he's the rival, or enemy, that's even more important."

"I already know that!" My dad groaned, scratching his blond hair roughly, clearly angry more at himself than at Kakashi. "But knowing doesn't make it easier to draw."

"Maybe you should step out of the typical _bishounen_ villain?" I suggested, shrugging because, really, dad's artwork tended to incline more towards the handsome characters and gorgeous woman, and all the villains he had sketched looked like they came out of a Final Fantasy game. "I mean, sure, that attracts female readers, but _Shounen_ _manga_ is aiming more towards the male audience. Maybe you should just create someone that's more… beaten up? You know, threatening looking, with scars and huge, frightening weapons. If you do that you can always add a sad past to him to justify his actions, add some tearjerker moments to it and thus making the reader completely fall in love with him without even noticing."

My dad lifted his head up to look at me, blue eyes like mine narrowed as a small pout formed in his lips.

"You think I draw too many _bishounen_ characters?" He asked quietly.

"Well, yeah," I said with sincerity. "You know I love your work, dad, but guys don't care about pretty heroes or villains. They just want thrill, and weapons and blood, fights and awesome powers."

"The kid gets it and he doesn't even draw _manga_ yet," Kakashi stated almost proudly, laughing. "Maybe we should let him draw the character for you, eh, Sensei?

Dad frowned even harder and stared at me like I was a threat to him.

I knew that look; I had been at the receiving end of it for far too many times before and already knew it wasn't directed at me – he just needed to vent his frustration sometimes and stop being the calm, composed, gentle person we all knew to grimace and look like he wanted to kill someone. Just like Sasuke. Only my dad was always nice while Sasuke was only nice _sometimes_.

"Slumps are terrible," dad ended up saying before heaving a long, tired sigh. "Ugly, scarred villains, you say? Sure, I can do that. I can draw ugly things. Hell, I can do it better than Eiichiro Oda-san."

Kakashi actually laughed harder at that and I smiled, nodding my head from side to side. "Don't be like that; One Piece is cool. Plus, it _sells_."

"Yes, and I have to compete against it," dad groaned sourly, returning his attention to his drawing once more. "With such a shitty art, it's still more popular than mine."

"But you can surpass it if you _focus_!" Kakashi insisted with false sweetness, patting his back brusquely. "So, focus _now_ or I'll force it out of you, because if I don't have something suitable to present to the head office, the new chapter might not even come out this week. You understand that, right, Sensei?"

Dad grumbled some sort of harsh remark under his breath, but by the happy curve in Kakashi's eyes, the younger one either didn't hear it or chose to ignore it altogether.

"You'll be fine, old man, just chill out instead of freaking out," I told him, leaning forward. "I've got to go, or I'll be late for school."

Supporting my hands on the edge of the desk, I kissed his forehead slightly and he sighed once more. When I backed away he smiled gently and nodded, an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Have a nice day," he said.

"You too," I replied, turning around and waving at him and Kakashi over my shoulder. "Bye, weirdo, and be nice to my dad or I'll kick your ass!"

"I don't know what you mean," Kakashi said innocently to my retreating back. "I'm always nice."

000

"You have a crush on Uchiha."

Kiba said this in a neutral, simple tone. It wasn't a question and left no room for arguments. I felt my muscles twitch at what sounded to me like an accusation and yet, my head remained tilted down over my sketchbook as I promptly proceeded to draw.

The cafeteria was filled with the chatter and laughter of students at lunchtime, along with the loud clanking noise of cutlery against dishes.

Kiba and I were having lunch by ourselves at a small table for two – Shikamaru and Chouji were having a meeting at the Politics Club they were in, and Shino had gone home for lunch since he lived five minutes away from school.

Sasuke was having lunch a few tables away, surrounded by Suigetsu, Juugo and my cousin, Karin.

"Don't be stupid, Kiba," I mumbled dispassionately, focusing on my body language so that it gave nothing away.

By that time, two weeks and a few days had passed since Sasuke and I had started dating, and things were going smoothly. We got along better but still bickered once in a while over stupid things, which wasn't bad because it spiced things up, and simultaneously allowed us to keep up appearances.

I had long since finished lunch, but Kiba had taken his time eating, so I had picked up one of my notebooks and started sketching, remembering the scene from that morning with my dad, my mind flashing with ideas for a cool character.

I had believed no one suspected a thing – or if they did, they showed no signs of it –, not even Kiba, so it was rather sudden that my best friend had decided to blurt out something like that.

"Come on, don't lie to me," Kiba pressed on, leaning closer conspicuously. "I know something's up. The two of you have been all cozy lately."

I lifted my head to see his forehead crumpled. He looked at me with suspicion and expectancy, as if waiting for me to confirm his suspicions.

For a moment, I felt that familiar pang of guilt assault me like a tidal wave, because this was the first time ever that I had been forced to hide things from Kiba. I wasn't doing it for me because, really, the whole world knew about my sexuality, and being with someone like Sasuke was no shame at all, but Sasuke didn't want people to know because news travelled fast and if something like that came out, his parents would know about it in a heartbeat.

"Dude, I don't even know where that came from," I said, my lip twisting upwards at the right corner.

"You were the one who said you thought he was hot," Kiba reminded, again, straight to the point.

"Yeah, but I think a lot of people are hot; that doesn't mean I have a crush on them."

"But I've seen the way you look at him!" My friend insisted, annoyed. "I know you, Naruto; I know something's wrong."

I rolled my eyes to make up for the fact that I felt like flinching.

"Right," I muttered. "Whatever you say."

"Show me what you're drawing," Kiba demanded. I frowned at him but ended up lifting the notebook up at the level of my chest, turning it to him so that he could see the various small characters I had been doodling. Kiba huffed in disbelief, making a disgusted face. "They look like fucking Uchiha! _All_ of them!"

"They do not!" I defended, turning the thing to me and looking at the drawings more closely. "My dad has to have a cool villain created by the end of the day, and I thought it would be nice if I had something to inspire him just in case he doesn't manage to get it done by the time I get ho..."

My voice got stuck in my throat. I managed to stop my eyes from widening just in time as I realized Kiba was right.

They all looked like Sasuke. Not exactly like him, except for one, but all had certain traces of him here and there.

"I don't care about the reason, they all look like him," Kiba spat, taking the notebook from my hands forcefully to mimic my previous actions and turn it to me, pointing at the characters viciously. "Look here, the same hairdo and same eyes. This one here may have light hair but still has the same frown and features..."

"That just means the bastard has the perfect look for a villain," I said, crossing my arms over my chest as I started feeling my nerves beginning to boil with annoyance – at him, for being so damned persistent and perceptive, and at me, for not feeling all that great about hiding things from him.

"No, it means you're noticing him in a way you didn't before."

"You're crazy."

"You have a crush on him!"

"Kiba!" I growled, menacingly, slamming my right fist on the table. "Stop being a fucking jerk!"

"Then just fucking admit it already!"

"Fine! I have crush on him!" I snapped, before I had the time to even think about what was coming out of my mouth. "Happy now? Fuck!"

I was still pissed off, but saying it out loud to someone other than Sasuke felt great. Letting my best friend know felt great, but Kiba didn't look pleased by the knowledge at all. In fact, he looked mortified, all color draining from his cheeks.

"Are you serious?" He asked eyes wide with disbelief. "Bro, he's straight!"

"So?"

"So? What, are you going to chase after him? Do you want to fuck him or something?"

"So, what if I do?" I hissed, nonchalantly. "He kissed me of his own free will, who says I don't have a chance?"

Kiba blinked at me as though I had tentacles where my eyes were supposed to be. His mouth moved silently but no sound came out of it.

"You've got to be kidding me, Naruto," he said eventually, voice ragged.

"You wanted the truth; I gave it to you."

Kiba's reaction wasn't exactly the way I had pictured in my mind. I was expecting him to tell me I was crazy, of course, to tease me and laugh at me, to even make all sorts of dirty jokes and even offer to help, but instead, I was confronted with a stunned, horrified, almost disappointed reaction.

I didn't know what to think of it, or how to deal with it. But I sure as hell felt more disappointed than he did.

"I knew the kiss was a bad idea," Kiba said, helplessly hugging my notebook close to his chest and shaking his head from side to side vigorously. "Are you lonely or something? Because I can hook you up with someone… or I can… "

"I don't need it, Kiba! I can hook myself up with whomever I want, by myself!" I yelled, throwing my hands to the air. "What is it with you? What's wrong with Sasuke?"

"Just... fuck, man. Not him." It sounded like a plea and it made my heart fall to my stomach.

I was glad there was too much noise around us for the conversation to be heard by the people surrounding us.

"Why?" I asked, coolly.

"Because!" He roared, as if that explained everything.

"That's not a good enough answer!"

"Why _him_?" Kiba inquired, looking angry and confused.

"Why the hell _not_?"

His anger and his confusion were catching up to me, his feelings reaching me like waves of negative energy.

What the hell was his problem?

"Because he'd never... the two of you are just..." he stuttered weakly, scratching the side of his head nervously and messing up his hair there even more. "He's straight, and an asshole and the two of you are, like, total opposites! Sure, he's attractive but... you can do better!"

My chin fell at that.

I had no idea what he meant by that, but I was growing tired of that useless exchange of words – it was leading us nowhere.

Kiba was shocked, I could understand that, but I hadn't even told him the complete truth yet, so how could I even consider telling him everything if he'd given me this kind of reaction?

It upset me, sometimes; that Kiba was so much like me when it came to his impulsiveness and voicing whatever crossed his mind in that moment.

I was furious, and if he felt anything similar to what I did, it was the worst time possible for us to talk about it.

"You do realize you're the one who's being an asshole, right?" I said, after a long sigh to calm myself down.

His lips parted and his face scrunched up, turning into something very unknown to me, but thankfully, a lean figure made an appearance beside us and I never got to hear what he had to say.

"Naruto, can I talk to you for a moment?"

We both looked up to the side where Sakura-chan stood prettily, tucking a lock of her bubble gum hair behind her ear.

She provided such relief that I almost had a psychological orgasm.

"Thank the Lord you're here, Sakura-chan," I said, probably a little too aggressively as I promptly stood and gathered my things. "And we're leaving. The air stinks in here."

She seemed taken aback by my abrupt reaction, throwing an unsure glance at Kiba. I snatched my notebook from his arms as he kept on gapping at me, apparently unable to say anything else.

I grabbed Sakura-chan's hand and dragged her along with me, ignoring Kiba's eyes following my leave.

He made no move to follow.

000

As I opened my locker, the instant smell of perfume filled my nostrils and a bunch of envelopes of every size and color fell to my feet.

"Shit!" I cursed, having completely forgotten that this was a current occurrence in my everyday school life. How on earth I had been able to forget, I have no idea.

"Still as popular as ever, huh?" Sakura-chan commented, with a sour smile. "Here, let me help you."

We both crouched down to pick up all the unwanted love letters in silence. Once we did, she gave the ones she had picked up to me and I threw them all into the nearest metal trash bin, unceremoniously.

"That's just cruel, Naruto!" She reprimanded, placing her hands on her slim hips with incredulity.

"The mood I'm in is cruel as well," I retorted, grabbing my sociology book from the inside of my unorganized locker and shoving it inside my backpack. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

I could almost sense her pouting and throwing daggers at the side of my head.

"There's a rumor going on that Sasuke-kun has a new girlfriend," she said, in a whisper. "Do you know anything about it?"

"Why should I?" I asked, slamming the red wooden door shut and turning the small key to lock it. My patience was running thin and I did _not_ want to deal with girls' stuff as well.

"You two are close, aren't you?"

_You have no idea how close we are…_

"Not really," I hissed, zipping up the backpack. "You've known him for almost as long as I have."

"But he tells you things," she persisted, filled with hope. "I heard this girl saying she saw a hickey on his neck the other day. You must know something. Guys talk about things like that, right?"

"Sasuke doesn't talk about anything, least of all with me," I said, standing straight to look at her. "You should ask Suigetsu, he's Sasuke's best friend; he probably knows."

Sakura-chan pressed her lips together sadly and I couldn't help the way my chest constricted at the sight.

"I want to get him back." The confession came in a whisper and she looked down, hands joined in front of the blue skirt of her uniform. "I don't know what I did wrong when we dated, but it's been almost three weeks and I… do you think I did something wrong? Did he feel nothing at all for me? He refused every girls' proposal since then, and now he's dating someone else already, and even though I try to get along with him as a friend, like we used to, it's just so hard."

For the second time that day, mine and Sasuke's secret ate at me with vicious force and all my anger and previous annoyance at Kiba's attitude dissipated.

Sakura-chan. I liked her even though I had long since given up on trying to win her affections. She was the perfect girl, easy going, a good sport, smart, beautiful, and she had been – apart from Haku – the only person that managed to make me feel good in the middle of all those useless relationships that I got into. Also, she was a friend from long ago, both mine and Sasuke's.

"I just… I can't just give up when I've loved him more than half my life, Naruto."

Sakura-chan wasn't special; I felt for her the same affection and nostalgia I did for Haku because they both had managed to make me happy at some point, and yet they had both abandoned me when I thought I had finally gotten myself something good. So, out of all the useless relationships I had been in, those two people had definitely left a mark, both for good and bad reasons.

I had moved on, forgiven them, and yet, I hadn't been able to forget. It wasn't love anymore, but my heart was always too soft for the people I cared about.

Dating Sasuke wasn't meant to be some sort of vengeful act on my part, only it still felt like it because I genuinely enjoyed being with him, even knowing Sakura-chan was still in love with him. No amount of guilt could overcome that, but that also made me feel worse. Especially because Sasuke did talk to her normally and treated her with the same kindness he did before they dated.

It was as if they hadn't dated at all and we were all back to being childhood friends and school mates like nothing had changed.

But she was in pain while Sasuke and I were eating each other's faces and, quite frankly, enjoying the hell out of it.

I felt torn. I didn't want to lie, but the truth would hurt her. It was still too soon.

"Sakura-chan, I really don't know what to say to you," I whispered back. "You know him as well as I do. You did nothing wrong, he's the one who's picky and weird. But I don't think he's dating anyone; you'd know if he was since he never kept his girlfriends a secret."

"So, you think I can win him back?" She asked, minty eyes glinting with unwavering faith.

"I didn't say that." My throat felt so dry that I had to swallow several times. "Sakura-chan, he's your friend. He's not… don't you think you should spare yourself? I'm not saying he's not worth it, I'm just… maybe it's not the right time? Maybe he's not into the whole love thing?"

"You don't understand," she said, sadly. "I don't care about that. I just want to have him by my side. If it's the right time or not, I just want him next to me until that time comes because, when it does, it'll be easier to reach him."

I chewed silently on the inside of my cheek. For a split-second I pondered about telling her that Sasuke liked someone and that she wouldn't steal her way into his heart anytime soon.

But she seemed sad, yet eager, determined.

I became weak at that. How could I shatter her dreams? People like her, girls like her… she thought she was the only one who loved him, but dozens of other girls thought the exact same thing and believed they loved him too and that, someday, he would be able to look at them and feel the same way.

They would all have to wake up by themselves. I was in no mood for offering a reality check to someone who wouldn't listen, anyway.

"Do what you want," I huffed, waving a dismissing hand in front of her face. "But don't tell me I didn't warn you."

"You'll tell me if something changes, right?" She pleaded, in a brighter way this time, happiness painting her lovely face in rosy tones. "If there's something different, if you know of something, or of someone he's interested in. If he says something about what he wants in a girl, just let me know! I'll have to do my best, you know!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

She threw herself at me and flung her slim arms around my shoulders in a tight, happy hug and kissed my cheek noisily, the tips of her short hair tickling my neck. Her familiar, flowery smell engulfed me, but it felt off now that I had become used to Sasuke's soapy, stronger scent. I took no pleasure in it apart from the fact that I enjoyed the comfort of her body as my childhood friend and former lover.

"Do you mind? I need to get my things."

Speaking of the devil.

Sakura-chan released me at once, flushing pink and moving away from me so that she could clear the area where Sasuke's locker was.

"It's not what you think!" She said hurriedly, as I pouted at Sasuke's indifferent profile. He stepped between us and opened his own locker, two lockers down from mine. "Naruto and I were just…."

"Whatever, Sakura, you don't need to explain yourself, " Sasuke said glancing at me inquisitively. I just shrugged.

"Hey, bastard, lend me your sociology book," I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning my shoulder on my locker.

"You're not copying my homework," he stated coolly, stuffing some books inside the tiny, abnormally clean and composed place. "I told you, you should've finished it."

"And whose fault was it that I didn't?" I accused, my already altered temper inflaming even more.

"I don't know, moron, surely you're not blaming _me_ ," he snapped, turning to me with his grey eyes shining in defiance. " _My_ homework is done."

It wasn't my fault that I hadn't been able to focus for the rest of the previous night after making out for a whole hour in my store's warehouse while Sai – my co-worker – took care of the customers. I wasn't a genius like the Uchiha princess, I couldn't just go home and throw a series of very powerful erections to the side and just _do my homework_ instead.

My day wasn't going well. And it was all the bastard's fault.

I scowled at him, pressed my hand to his chest and shoved him to the side.

"Fuck you," I hissed, before walking away without another word.

That damned, ungrateful bastard.

000

It was incredibly hot up in the rooftop, but I didn't mind as long as I could have some peace and some quiet time to myself.

I was sitting on the ground with my back leaning against the wall, my legs pulled to my chest with both my arms over my knees, a cigarette dangling from the fingers of my right hand.

I had been up there for a long time, but when the old door beside me screeched open and then slammed close, it didn't seem like enough time had passed even though I felt considerably calmer.

"You skipped sociology," Sasuke's voice said, impassibly. I kept my eyes trained on the top of the distant buildings in front of me. "Why?"

"It's none of your damn business," I muttered, bringing the cigarette to my lips, but it was snatched away from me mid-air.

Sasuke made an appearance before me, crouching down in front of me and bringing my cigarette to his own lips, inhaling deeply while staring attentively at me before expelling the smoke.

"Iruka-sensei paired us up for the new assignment," he explained, casually, his free hand touching my knees in a gesture that was meant to instigate me to stretch my legs, which I did, out of habit of responding to him. "Our theme is _'Manga_ versus Books in modern Japan', go figure, so we're supposed to interview people and stuff and write about which of the two have a prominent interest nowadays."

"Sounds boring," I replied, eyeing him as his agile legs moved to straddle my thighs. I shifted a bit because my body tended to react rather quickly to his proximity.

"Well, it's fitting considering our families' businesses," he said, shrugging and placing one hand on my shoulder while taking another drag on the cigarette he had just stolen from me.

He expelled the smoke once more before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine, wasting no time in searching for my tongue and I let him, both hands reaching out to grab hold of his ass, mainly because I was already too annoyed at the world to still be annoyed at him.

We kissed with amazing care for a few seconds and then he broke away, breathing in deeply.

"There is something I want to ask you," he said, his voice a low, serious whisper as his hand rested on the curve of my neck, thumb rubbing the exposed skin absently. "I'll have to go to the big city because of a job offer. I was wondering…" My eyes scrutinized his features, surprise washing over me and making all the chaos of the day disappear. "Since your birthday is around that time, would you like to come with me?"

Life definitely wasn't so bad after all. Especially because, in spite of everything, he was now there to make it all better in the end.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap for today my beauties.
> 
> Three more chapters will come tomorrow ;)
> 
> Don't forget to comment, and thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter guys! Still not betaed. 
> 
> Re-reading this reminded me of how much this part influences the rest of the fic. Further down the road you will surely know what I mean.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Seven**

_Naruto's POV_

Uchiha Itachi didn't get moody. Sasuke did, Fugaku-san did, but not Itachi nor Mikoto-san, because they were the kind of people that allowed nothing to get to them.

It was always Sasuke who tended to make that disgusted face like something was nesting inside his ass while Itachi was nothing but gentle smiles and easy-going pleasantries.

To say that I was disgruntled to witness the roles being reversed was an understatement, and honestly, I wasn't a hundred percent sure that what I was seeing was real.

Well, _seeing_ wasn't exactly right either, because Itachi's bad mood could be _sensed._

I was sitting alone in the back seat of the older Uchiha's car behind Itachi – who was driving – while Sasuke was also at the front in the passengers' seat next to him.

Itachi had picked me and Sasuke up from school and we were on our way to Tokyo as the hot sun was setting on the horizon. One of Itachi's _'Dir en Grey'_ albums was playing and, for some reason, he had turned the volume up as soon as he had started the car, making it almost impossible to communicate unless we shouted our lungs out over the music.

It was exactly because I had never seen him do something like that that I knew something was wrong – Itachi liked to talk, or at least listen to others as they talked so that he could intervene once in a while.

Instead, he remained silent, face perfectly impassive, giving nothing away. Even though his body was relaxed, there was just something about the aura that emanated from him that made me shift uncomfortably.

Once in a while, he would look at me through the rear-view mirror and narrow his eyes, and for some reason, it was intimidating and made an unpleasant shiver run down my spine. I wasn't used to be the target of such a look coming from him, but it sure made me wonder if I had done something to deserve it.

Sasuke acted oblivious to this, looking out the window and muttering the lyrics of the songs that filled the air – he seemed to know them all –, hands patting his knees to their incessant drumming. He seemed to be in an abnormal good mood.

Even though I had felt pretty excited by the perspective of going to Tokyo with them at first, there was something terribly wrong with that picture.

One of the calmer songs started to play and Itachi promptly pressed the button to skip it, moving on to the next song, which was as heavy as the previous ones had been.

"Oh, fuck, this one is awesome," I heard Sasuke say before the song exploded. Itachi's hand moved quickly to hit his arm, but since we were once again surrounded by the vicious music, I didn't hear my boyfriend's protests at all.

I leaned further back in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong. Did they have a fight? But when they did, usually it was Sasuke who became insufferable because of it, not Itachi.

It was kind of odd realizing that they were more alike than I had previously thought, although if an angry Sasuke was scary, I didn't want to imagine how an angry Itachi would be.

I managed to stay still and quiet for at least forty-five minutes or so, once in a while noticing that the two brothers exchanged a few words I couldn't hear.

After what felt like hours of silence during which my muscles became as stiff as rocks from the tension only I could feel, Itachi suddenly turned down the volume.

For some reason, I could feel something bad coming.

"So," the oldest Uchiha said in a very casual, conversational kind of way. "Have you two fucked yet?"

I don't really know what shocked me the most – if it was the tone he used, or the fact that I couldn't exactly process his words for what they were.

It was Sasuke's turn to hit Itachi's arm in outrage, letting out a suddenly horrified "Itachi!"

"Huh?" I asked, dumbfounded as the other just hit him back in the leg twice as hard, making Sasuke groan.

"Excuse me, but I assumed that you must love gay sex for you to be dating a guy after being straight your whole life," Itachi casually told Sasuke, still sounding as if he was talking about the weather.

However, there was something very reproachful there, and the way his eyes glanced at me through the mirror made realization dawn over me.

He _knew_. Itachi knew about me and Sasuke.

_Holy shit._

Confusion turned into horror as my chin dropped.

_That goddamned fucker…_

"You told him?!" I yelled, angrily at Sasuke. "Fuck, Sasuke, for real?!"

"I didn't tell anyone, if that's what's concerning you," Itachi stated, matter-of-factly.

"That's not the point!" I huffed, immediately leaning forward in my seat as far as the buckled seatbelt allowed me to reach out and pull viciously at a strand of Sasuke's spiky hair. "We were supposed to be keeping it a secret for the time being!"

"Ouch, damn it!" Sasuke protested irritably, slapping my hand away hard and turning so that he was semi facing me. "He's the only one who knows, alright?"

"I didn't even tell Kiba!" I spat, ignoring how displeased his scowl was.

"Tell him if you want to, then, no one's stopping you!" He sputtered back.

"Yeah? No one's stopping me so I should just tell people about it?" I growled, still attempting to pull at his hair but failing since he promptly moved away from my reach. "Fuck you!"

"See, Sasuke, this is what I don't get," Itachi interrupted, raising his voice just a little over our little argument and efficiently making us cease our stupid fight. "How is this working out for you? I mean, what is it? Did the two of you have a crush on each other before or something? Is it physical?"

"I thought we had already discussed this," Sasuke snapped at him, with his teeth clenched, turning around once more to sit properly. I pouted and slumped back in my own seat with my arms crossed over my chest, throwing daggers at the back of Sasuke's own seat.

I couldn't believe that Itachi knew. I felt so embarrassed I wanted to bury myself somewhere far and away from him. I mean, sure, I knew him well and all that, but he was Sasuke's brother, and he _was_ protective of him. If Itachi so much as suspected that someone was even thinking of harming his little brother he would bring hell upon earth and I didn't want to be a target for his wrath.

Either way, he was still family, and I hadn't expected to be submitted to the family issue so soon.

"We did, but I want to know Naruto's side of the story," Itachi said, with a sigh. "I have to understand if I'm supposed to work as an accomplice."

His tone was slightly less threatening to my ears, or maybe it was just me imagining it to make myself feel better, because, really, Itachi's voice hadn't even been unpleasant to begin with.

I bit my lip and looked out the window.

"How much do you know?" I inquired, still in a bad mood.

"Apparently not enough if you have to ask," Itachi said, with terrible sharpness in his sarcasm. I couldn't help the (second? Third?) shiver that ran through my body at that.

"We're just trying out to see where this is going," Sasuke intervened, coolly. "I already told you that, I don't know why you're being an ass about this."

"Naruto?" Itachi addressed me with a light curiosity.

"It's true!" I exclaimed, looking at the rear-view mirror in the front and finding Itachi's dark eyes. "We're not fooling around or anything like that. You know me, Itachi; I would never do anything he wouldn't want me to do."

"Was it your idea?" Itachi asked seriously, pitch black orbs dropping to look at the road.

"Yeah," I muttered, blushing at his perceptiveness. "I mean, well... I didn't force it on him, I just..."

"And you're okay with what the two of you do?" Itachi asked, turning his head momentarily to address his younger brother.

"We don't do much," Sasuke hissed leaning forward to rummage inside the backpack bag he had brought with him that was resting at his feet. "And where the fuck is my pack of cigarettes?! I swear I put them in here yesterday…"

"Don't change the subject," Itachi pressed on ruthlessly. "Do you want to?"

"I'm not talking about this anymore!" Sasuke growled at him, viciously, kicking the backpack as if it had offended him. "It's none of your business, Itachi!"

"It is now that you decided to spill the beans to me," Itachi said, reasonably, unaffected by Sasuke's mood.

"I'm already regretting that!"

"You want to do more, don't you, Naru-chan?" I jumped slightly in my seat as Itachi's attention focused on me once again. "Sasuke is an attractive guy after all."

"He is," I replied dryly, already too annoyed to be even remotely tactful since Itachi's subtleness wasn't light-hearted at all – he was testing us, teasing us, and no matter how much I liked him, I wasn't exactly willing to let him toy with us. "I'd totally do him if he'd let me."

"Naruto!" Sasuke reprimanded, once more turning around and throwing me a warning look.

" _But_ , I respect him," I corrected, giving him the finger. "He's a bitch and doesn't really deserve it most of the times, but I'm a good guy and wouldn't want to tarnish that pristine pureness of his."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned away from me once more, head turning to look out the window in a sulking fashion.

For the first time that day, I saw the hint of amusement filling Itachi's deep charcoal eyes in the mirror. "You don't have to feed me some made-up bullshit, Naruto; I know Sasuke isn't exactly _pristine_ ," he said, chuckling slightly and then clearing his throat as if to camouflage it. "I believe you. I'm just having a hard time processing this whole issue, that's all there is to it."

"Well, get it over your head already," Sasuke snapped.

"Watch your tone with me, brat," Itachi scolded, reaching out to pull at Sasuke's ear with unnecessary force, eliciting a gasp from him. "I'll spank your ass until you can't seat properly."

Sasuke's ears turned tomato red at that and I couldn't help a snort. "Fuck you," Sasuke mumbled, moving his ass to the side so that he was as far away from his brother as possible, his arm and leg glued to the door.

Itachi heaved a sigh, finally relaxing into his seat with one hand on the steering wheel, the other on his thigh. "Mother and father would be so proud."

"Don't bring them into this," Sasuke hissed.

"Hey," I called out, sitting straight and leaning forward so that I could peak over Itachi's seat, poking his temple slightly with my index finger. "Is this the reason why you're angry? Because, seriously, that dark aura is scary as shit."

"I'm not angry, Naruto," Itachi said, ignoring my poking in spite of the slight frown in his forehead. "My brother has been straight his whole life so, even if I have nothing against whatever orientation he chooses, I think I have the right to feel skeptical. You are lucky that your parents are so accepting of your sexuality, but ours have… other expectations of him. "

"I understand," I nodded gravely, even though I had no idea what 'skeptical' meant at all. I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder – which he eyed briefly before looking back at the road. "But, as I said, we're just giving it a try. There's nothing wrong with that. I promise I'll keep him well behaved for as long as it lasts."

"Yes, and while you're doing that, keep _yourself_ well behaved as well or I might not answer for myself…" I removed my hand at Itachi's simple tone that held no coldness to it, but was definitely threatening. "…childhood friend or not."

I gulped slightly and leaned back on my seat. Angry Itachi was scary.

A few seconds of awkward silence followed the even more awkward conversation, with both Sasuke and I sulking as Itachi changed the CD to some cheery Pop music I had never listened to before, clearly in a better mood now that he had spoken his mind and given out his free threats.

"I stole your cigarettes yesterday," Itachi then spoke, turning his head to his younger brother again with a smirk. "Should we stop by somewhere to buy some?"

"Yeah, and buy a bottle of vodka, too, while you're at it," Sasuke mumbled, leaning his head heavily against the glass of the window. "I think I'll need it to put up with your shit."

I all but huffed. "I second that."

000

When I slowly regained consciousness night had already set, and the distinct scent of smoke lingered in the air. I hadn't even felt that tired, so I wasn't expecting to fall asleep during our journey, and yet, when I checked my watch, I noticed it was already 10pm. Apart from the normal noises coming from the mechanics of the car and the wind, everything was silent since apparently someone had turned the music off.

I looked around and noticed that Sasuke hadn't really moved from his position, spiky head still resting on the window, probably asleep as well. Itachi was still driving, one hand on the steering wheel, the other one resting on the gearshift, a lit cigarette between his index and middle fingers.

I turned my head to look outside to notice that we were surrounded by the glowing, colorful lights of the city.

"Holy shit!" I gasped loudly, placing both my hands on the glass and admiring the tall, fashionable buildings and the streets, packed with all sorts of people ready to enjoy a nice Friday night out. I had never seen so many people in my life, and they were just normal citizens, strolling about.

I heard Itachi laugh softly.

"This is Tokyo," he introduced fondly. "But you'll have time to take a look around tomorrow. We're almost home."

"Fuck, there are so many shops and restaurants and… OH MY GOD, everything looks awesome!"

An annoyed groan followed my fascinated outburst and I just knew Sasuke was waking up. Still, I kept ogling those busy streets as if they belonged to a whole different universe altogether.

"You're fucking noisy, stupid dead last," Sasuke mumbled grumpily. Then, I heard him yawn.

"We should stop somewhere and buy dinner," Itachi suggested. "I don't have anything at home, and it's too late to cook anyway."

"Whatever," Sasuke groaned. "Anything is fine with me as long as we go home, my back is killing me.

"You sound like an old man," Itachi teased.

The traffic was terrible in Tokyo it seemed, and we took forever to get to our destination. Itachi couldn't find a single place to park the car, so he had to stop it in front of a small convenience store a few blocks away from where he lived, for Sasuke and I to get out and see if we could find something edible to take home. We ended up buying a few sandwiches, a large variety of juices and three packets of chips.

Itachi lived in an area that I was sure could be considered upper-class. The building was grey and fashionable, tall with windows that resembled mirrors that didn't allow people from the outside to see a single thing going on the inside. It even had its own, securely guarded parking garage where all sorts of fancy expensive cars were parked as well and where Itachi had his own, personal parking spot.

While we were retrieving our luggage from the trunk of the car, a finely dressed in bright red, middle-aged security guard appeared at our side to greet Itachi and Sasuke. I was introduced as the 'childhood friend', of course, and the man was all cordialities as he made small, but polite talk with the brothers.

The guard then promptly grabbed for his walkie-talkie and called for some guy named Shin, and sure enough, another man, younger, but dressed more casually, immediately came to help us with the heavier luggage, the one belonging to Itachi since Sasuke and I had only brought our school backpacks and similar sports bags with essential stuff for the weekend.

Shin didn't speak all that much, but he immediately led us towards the wide elevator that would take us to Itachi's floor.

Itachi's apartment was on the eleventh floor. I regretted not seeing the lobby, but I figured I'd get to see it the following day.

When we got out of the elevator I was amazed first to find another one on in the opposite wall, and then by the modern corridor that presented itself – it matched the outside of the building. The black tiled floor was shiny and spotless; the walls were also adorned by tiles, creating a chess like pattern in white and grey. Above us, simple crystal lamps in the shape of a drop where dangling from the ceiling and provided a soft white illumination.

The corridor wasn't very big since there were only two white doors, one on each end of it. We headed towards the one on our left.

Itachi took out a set of keys and his wallet from his pocket. He promptly shoved the key inside the keyhole and opened the door, then opened his wallet to take out a bill that he handed to Shin. The man smiled broadly and made sure the luggage was safe inside the house before bowing formally and going on his way.

Itachi got inside the apartment first and started to turn on the lights. Sasuke followed him and I got in last, closing the door behind me.

The amazement that assaulted me then was different from before. I had imagined that Itachi's place would be pompous and all richly decorated to show off just how much money he really made and how much of a Tokyo celebrity he really was.

However, what I saw was quite the opposite, because the only pompous thing I found was its dimension.

The apartment was spacious enough; the construction was clearly modern and recent, with walls painted in pure white and tiled dark blue floors.

There was no entrance hall, just a small square near the door that composed the Genkan– where both the Uchiha brothers' shoes were already perfectly tucked side by side.

With my mouth open, I watched the unexpected scenery in front of me, where a very large square division presented the simple living room. I swallowed hard as I stepped out of my trainers and climbed the single step into the room.

Sasuke and Itachi were moving about already, opening doors and turning on the remaining lights and whatever. I set down my sports bag and my backpack right there, but kept holding the plastic bag that contained our dinner.

I turned on my heels to scan the area. There was a wooden door next to the Genkan and two wooden doors on the opposite wall. The living room was relatively plain, with four huge windows on the wall on the left side, adorned by simple, light marine blue curtains behind a long, fluffy looking black couch (the biggest I had ever seen). On the wall on the right side, a huge bookcase filled with books covered most of it. Apart from that, the only decoration to be found were a few paintings here and there, and a huge carpet made of marine blue fur that covered most of the floor.

"You like it?" Itachi asked, emerging from the room on the left.

"Yeah," I muttered, turning to him with a small smile. "I'm just a little surprised that it's so… non-obnoxious."

"You think I'm obnoxious?" He asked with amusement, crossing his arms over his chest, and making me blush a bit because it wasn't my intention to be rude.

"No, no!" I corrected, releasing a weak laugh. "I just thought, you know, since you're a celebrity and all that… I mean, the place looks great!"

"I like plain things," Itachi explained, with an elegant shrug of his shoulders. "My house has to be a place where I can rest and find some peace, so the simpler it is, the more I can relax and focus on things."

"Well, then it makes sense that you don't own a TV," I pointed out, my smile broadening.

"That's right," he nodded, smiling slightly back. "I don't watch television at all."

"You don't watch any of the shows you're in?" I asked, curiously.

"God forbid, no!" He said, with a polite chuckle. "And I avoid reading any magazine article about me if I can help it. I do hear about it from my manager, and he sure makes it all sound better than it actually is."

"Don't be like that, you're Japan's Golden Boy," I pointed out. "Even I watch your shows. I mean, some of them are really corny, but you totally make them worth it!"

"You're embarrassing yourself, moron," Sasuke said with a frown, emerging from the other room. "What are you doing, hitting on my brother?"

"I'm not trying to hit on anybody!" I defended myself, pouting at him. "I'm just being polite!"

Itachi shook his head. "Sasuke, be a good host and show your boyfriend around," he said. "I'm going to take a shower. Do you guys need one, too?"

"Nah, we showered after P.E," I dismissed, with a grin.

"Alright, you can get the table ready for dinner, then."

Sasuke and I watched him move towards the door near the entrance and close it behind him before Sasuke grabbed for my free hand and dragged me around the house.

The single door on the right held the wide kitchen with lovely light brown cabinets on the front wall and a silvery marble counter with a matching island in the center. On the right wall, there was a round glass dinner table surrounded by four metallic chairs in front of two sliding glass doors that lead to a small balcony.

"The kitchen," Sasuke introduced dryly.

I was just musing about how amazing the view must be when he snatched the bags from my hand and placed them on the island before pulling me along once more, back into the living room, and then to the room on the right.

Like everything else, it was very fashionable and simple, with a closet wall with mirror doors on the left, the black ironed bed – adorned with a dark blue silky mattress and large silvery pillows – on the front and a black leather armchair on the right, near the widows with thick grey curtains on them.

"The guest room," Sasuke explained curtly. "Itachi says this is my room, but he's an idiot because I just crash here whenever I need to."

I was going to protest to that, because everybody knew that Itachi had purposefully purchased that apartment with an extra room because of how much he wanted Sasuke to move in with him at some point. It was no secret that, had Sasuke been willing, they'd be living together already since Itachi had been intent in taking care of him and managing his career.

Itachi even used to say playfully that, even if he ever got married and had kids, he would still make sure there was always an extra room for his little brother.

When I thought about this I tended to resent that I didn't have any older brothers or sisters. Sasuke acted like an ass because Itachi's affection was guaranteed and he knew it.

But Sasuke was a bit of a bastard and preferred to ignore that little, big fact. He liked to believe that Itachi had a spare room for guests, or for his parents, when he knew perfectly well that Fugaku-san and Mikoto-san always insisted on staying in a hotel whenever they visited their older son in Tokyo so as to not invade his privacy.

However, just when I was about to remind Sasuke of this, he pulled me again, this time to show me Itachi's room, that was nothing more than a white version of the previous room – apart from the curtains, that were red, as was the mattress and pillows on the bed – equally simple and plain, with no special decorations or unnecessary items, not even carpets.

"Itachi's room," Sasuke said, as disinterestedly as before. "You'll see the bathroom once he gets out."

I nodded and he let go of my hand, exiting the room with quick steps. I followed him to the living room once again and noticed that he was picking up my things. Unsure of what to do next, I followed him to his room and watched from the entrance as he unceremoniously dropped my belongings on his bed.

"Should I do something?" I asked uncertainly, shifting from one foot to the other. "I mean, is there anything that needs to be done or…"

"Don't worry about that," Sasuke said with a quick gesture of his hand. "Let's just get the food ready."

We moved to the kitchen, and only then did I realize that the sound of running water was already filling the spacious apartment.

In silence, I went over the island and began removing the items from the plastic bags as Sasuke moved expertly and efficiently around the kitchen, quickly finding a white tablecloth that he used to cover the glass table with. I carried the food and set it over the table while Sasuke opened a few cabinets and retrieved three transparent glasses and told me where the napkins were.

We didn't really talk much as we got everything ready, a strange kind of tension filling the air caused by my boyfriend's stiff demeanor that always tended to summon that heavy, inescapable aura. It was obvious that he wanted to say something but was hesitating in doing so, maybe fearing my reaction or my words. I could easily guess his thoughts.

Since Sasuke wasn't exactly the kind of person to hold anything in, his attitude was getting on my nerves.

When I moved to the sink, I felt that heavy, powerful gaze in the back of my head. I had seen a few glasses in the cabinet above it, so I helped myself to one and filled it with water.

"If you have something to say, just spit it out," I muttered pointedly, with my back turned to him, before taking a few large gulps of the clear liquid.

I had just lowered the glass when I felt a presence behind me. Not even a second afterwards, a hard chest was being pressed to my back as arms encircled my waist from behind.

"Are you still mad that I told Itachi about us?" Sasuke whispered gently, lips close to my ear.

"I'm not mad," I said truthfully, setting the glass on the sink. "I just wished you had mentioned it to me so that I could've prepared myself. Itachi is pretty ruthless when he wants to, and I didn't see that coming at all."

Sasuke heaved a light sigh against my neck that made me bite my lower lip at the feel of his hot breath in my skin.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, nuzzling the back of my neck with his nose. "It's just that Tokyo is my scapegoat. I didn't want to bring you here, on your birthday, and be forced to do everything in secret. We have enough of that already back at home."

"Yeah," I replied, my eyes closing at the feel of him against me. When he pressed his lips to the curve of my neck, I couldn't help but tilt my head to the side to give him more access.

"He seemed fine with it when I told him; I wasn't expecting him to be such a bastard about it with you around," Sasuke pressed on against my goose-bumped skin.

"Now I know who you take after," I joked softly, scoffing a bit at my own words. "But I understand where he's coming from. He's your brother after all; it must come as a shock. It just kind of sucks that I have to be the one to blame."

He stepped slightly away from me and I turned around to face him, the end of my spine leaning on the counter, both my hands coming behind me to support themselves on the cool surface.

Sasuke was eyeing me with a very serious but expectant expression as he came closer once more – so much closer, in fact, that his chest was pressed against mine. I absently registered that both his hands were placed on the counter as well, very close to mine as his body was pressed flush against me.

"I promise I'll make it up to you as soon as I can," he uttered in a low, very consciously seductive tone that made me swallow hard.

I was suddenly aware that I could feel every bit of him everywhere when his mouth crashed against mine.

For a fraction of a second my mind screamed that it was a bad, bad idea to make out in Itachi's kitchen, and yet, as soon as Sasuke's moist tongue brushed past my lips before invading my mouth, I couldn't protest the action at all.

Instead, I let out an appreciative moan and responded to the gesture with my own tongue, causing Sasuke's muscles to stiffen against me and his body to move instinctively to rub against mine, making me feel lightheaded. Sasuke was always so good at this.

As we kissed we moved our lips in a synced motion that showed exactly how used we were to it already. I closed my hands into fists to resist the urge to touch him, but Sasuke moved one of his to touch my waist, nails brushing over the shirt of my uniform in a gesture that let me know he wanted to touch me as badly.

The thought alone made me gulp in the middle of the kiss, forcing me to swallow a whole lot of Sasuke's saliva, mixed with my own.

So, yeah, those were not good thoughts for someone who was trying very hard not to get an erection.

" _Please_ , spare me to your open displays of affection," a familiar voice drawled, causing us both to jump and break the contact. "Especially in my kitchen, where people are supposed to _eat_."

Sasuke released a frustrated huff before moving away from me and placing himself beside me to face his brother. Having been caught in the act, I felt myself blush from head to toe at the sight of a frowning Itachi at the entrance of the kitchen, dressed in a pair of dark green pajama bottoms and a white t shirt, his long black hair wet and loose, falling over his shoulders. He looked oddly casual, and it was a very attractive sight.

Thinking about how long he'd been there watching us made me feel self-conscious though.

"I'm really sorry, we weren't really…" I began to say, but Sasuke stopped me.

"Don't apologize, Naruto; he's just being sarcastic," he said, throwing his brother a challenging look that Itachi reciprocated firmly, his expression calm but unfaltering.

"I… really?" I questioned, confusedly when Itachi then flashed a strangely charming smile at me that for some reason looked menacing.

"I'm not that mean, Naruto," he said smoothly, walking towards the dining table, immediately sitting on the chair closer to the glass doors. "Come on, let's just eat so we can go to bed; we have to get up early tomorrow."

"It's times like these when I think I don't know you at all," I replied to Itachi, relaxing as he smiled at me more openly.

Sasuke elbowed my arm, so we copied his older brother and sat at the huge table, me in the middle of the two of them.

We all helped ourselves from the displayed food, each of us picking up a sandwich. I picked a chicken one, while Itachi picked the tuna one, and Sasuke the vegetarian one. Itachi drank mango juice while Sasuke and I had cola.

"So, where is Naruto going to sleep?" Sasuke asked matter-of-factly, after we had all had our first bites.

"I can sleep on the couch, I don't mind," I intervened quickly, not really wanting to push my luck by poking Itachi's temper further.

"Don't be silly, Naruto; you'll be sleeping in Sasuke's room," Itachi stated firmly, wiping a bit of mayonnaise at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "Unless you prefer sleeping with _me_ , of course," he added, mischievously.

"You're pushing it, Itachi," Sasuke said, his voice calm but warningly dangerous.

"Well, of course I'd prefer sleeping with… I mean, staying in Sasuke's room!" I said, not really knowing how to voice it, and suspecting that Itachi was having a huge amount of fun at my expense. "If that's okay with you, Itachi."

"Well," the long haired one said, adjusting the tomato in his sandwich as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "To be blatantly honest, I'm not _okay_ with it, but I trust the two of you are old enough to know how to behave."

Sasuke snorted. "I know how to be silent during sex, if that's what you mean," he said dryly.

I almost choked on the bread I was chewing on but managed to grab a napkin and spit the remaining food into it before looking at him with wide, horrified eyes.

Sasuke had not said that.

For some reason, I became sure that he was trying to annoy Itachi who, instead of giving in, remained calm. "Wow, that's got to be a great improvement since even the neighbors used to hear you jerking off not too long ago."

My horrification turned into fits of laughter as soon as I saw Sasuke's red, furious face. I knew I should take my boyfriend's side, but if there was someone that could always outshine Sasuke's witty comebacks was Itachi, and that scene right there was too good to be ignored.

So, I dropped my sandwiched and grabbed for my stomach instead as I laughed.

"Shit, Sasuke, are you serious?!" I barked, eyes watering from mirth. "No way! This is too good!"

"Oh yeah?" Sasuke growled, murderous eyes glued to Itachi's rather sadistic ones. "How about you, huh? You think I don't remember that you jerked off everywhere when you were 13? Dad even caught you doing it in the living room once!"

I think I might've howled at that since I could barely breathe.

"Well, I thought they were sleeping," Itachi explained good-naturedly.

"In the middle of the afternoon?" Sasuke inquired, grinning. "Sure."

"Alright, I liked jerking off," Itachi said, laughing a bit as well, "But that time I did it on purpose to spite father because of that spanking he gave me for having found a bottle of beer in my backpack."

"Oh, my God, I did not see that one coming!"

For the next half hour, I almost threw up from laughing as Sasuke and Itachi kept bickering with each other over the embarrassing adventures of their childhood.

During that time, I concluded that things had easily gone back to normal after all.

000

After we ate, the three of us cleaned up the kitchen and put away the leftover sandwiches while we made small talk. Itachi said something about us having to get up at seven because of Sasuke's photoshoot.

I was looking forward to seeing Sasuke at work, to be honest. I had seen some of his photos in catalogues that Sakura-chan and the girls used to spread around school, but I was curious to see how the whole process developed.

After ruffling my hair and kissing the top of Sasuke's head – which made the younger one groan in irritation – Itachi retreated to his room, leaving us alone as he closed the door behind him.

Making some more small talk, we went to Sasuke's room to fetch our toothbrushes. I headed for the bathroom first, realizing just then that I seriously needed to pee.

The bathroom wasn't that big, but it was charming as far as bathrooms go. The sink, toilet and even the bidet – I had never really seen one before – were all black, but the tiles on the floor were pearly while the ones on the wall were of a light grey. While I relieved myself, I looked around, sighing my contentment. As plain as Itachi's place was, I sure as hell had never been anywhere near as fashionable and fancy as that.

I was just tucking everything back into its rightful place when I heard a knock on the door. I flushed the toilet and gave my consent, and the door was opened to reveal Sasuke, already dressed for bed in black short bottoms and a white t-shirt.

We brushed our teeth by the sink together, occasionally poking and elbowing each other and I couldn't help but threaten to spill the foam from the toothpaste in my mouth all over his arm, so we kind of made a bit of a mess while trying not to laugh too loud so as to not alert Itachi.

After cleaning everything up, I left Sasuke to do his own business and headed back to the room, where I changed into a plain orange t-shirt and a pair of green pajama pants before getting the bed ready. I put the decorative pillows on the armchair and pulled the covers back to reveal lime colored sheets that weren't silk or anything like that, but that felt amazingly soft to the touch.

Itachi was clearly not a big spender as far as quantity goes, but he did like to have nice, expensive things, of that much I was certain.

I found three pillows in Sasuke's wardrobe, so I took them all out and threw them on the bed before grabbing for my mobile phone and getting inside. I almost moaned at how comfy everything felt, top quality. I couldn't help but wonder if Itachi thought of Sasuke's comfort when he had purchased these things for them.

I texted my mom to tell her that everything was fine and that I was already in bed, then decided to text Kiba as well, since I hadn't spoken to him since that fight we had. Well, he _had_ tried to speak to me, but I had ignored him at school and rejected his calls. I sent him a message telling him I was in Tokyo with Sasuke and Itachi, and that I was fine. Knowing he would try to call me right away, I put my phone in silent mode and shoved it under my pillow.

Sasuke emerged not too long afterwards, closing the door behind him and turning off the lights. The artificial illumination from the city outside provided a large amount of clarity that allowed me to see Sasuke perfectly as he moved to lie on the bed beside me, on the right side.

"You don't have a nightstand," I pointed out casually and in a low tone, turning so that I was lying on my side, facing him with my elbow supporting my upper body as he made himself comfortable and punched the pillow a few times. "You could have a small lamp if you did. I mean you have to get up and turn off the lights after reading or something, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't really mind getting up, I'm not lazy," he said, turning to face me as well, but looking up at me since he had already put his head on the pillow. "Besides, Itachi has dim switchers everywhere, so I can dim the lights if I need to."

"Ah, that makes sense." I nodded.

"Do you want me to close the curtains?" He asked softly. "Maybe it's too bright for you?"

"Nah, it's fine," I dismissed, smiling a bit. "This way I can see you."

He snuggled himself more underneath the covers that were covering him up to his chin and smirked, his eyes gleaming beautifully in the semi darkness.

"You don't need to see me, you need to sleep," he muttered, surprisingly good-humoredly considering how sour his mood had been all afternoon.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked unthinkingly, making him snort.

"You should know by now that you don't have to ask."

And so, I patiently waited for him to turn so he was lying on his back before leaning down and pressing our lips together. We kissed gently at first, just a slow contact of lips moving as my free hand moved to his face, my fingertips caressing his jaw lightly. Then, his mouth parted slightly, and the tip of his tongue darted out to tease my upper lip, causing me to let out a small, needy whine and make my own tongue meet his.

I absently felt him pulling the covers down just a little before feeling his hands on me, one over my chest, the other placing itself on the back of my neck.

We kissed for a while, still with that controlled slowness, just enjoying the act itself without much of a fuss, probably because it was late, and we were already too tired to get too riled up.

It was still nice. That kind of easy intimacy was wonderful.

When we broke the kiss, I planted a few kisses on his forehead and his temples, relishing in the feel of his gentle strokes to my hair.

I rather enjoyed moments like those, when we could just be calm with each other, when we weren't fighting or just kissing the hell out of each other in some random corner to compensate for the times we couldn't.

Being so carefree actually felt good.

"Hey, Naruto," he whispered, thoughtfully. "You said you wanted to fuck me."

I propped myself up on my elbow once more, looking down at him while quirking up both my eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure I didn't mention it like that," I whispered, feeling a little self-conscious.

"You weren't exactly subtle about it either," he breathed, hand playing with the fabric of my t-shirt.

"Excuse me for being honest towards your brother," I said, shrugging. "After embarrassing the shit out of both of us, I thought it might please you."

"Indeed, it did." He nodded, rubbing my chest as if feeling it, even though he had done it a million times already. "So, you _do_ want to fuck me?"

I had to stifle my laughter. "You're so crude, bastard; don't say it like that," I asked, chuckling under my breath.

"I know my being crude gets you all hot and bothered," he muttered smirking and making me purse my lips together.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you knowing my weaknesses," I mumbled, adjusting myself so that I was laying down and we were on our sides again, facing each other.

"I thought that you'd take advantage of me now that it's just the two of us, away from home," Sasuke said simply, watching me closely with a strange lucidity in his stare.

"Me? Taking advantage of a manly guy like you?" I said, amused. "No way; I prefer doing things with your consent since you're such a good sport and an active participant when you're willing."

He reached out to brush his knuckles carefully over my chin. "And you haven't seen the best of me yet."

My smile was efficiently wiped away from my face. I scrutinized his gorgeous features in search for something that would tell me he was kidding and that those words didn't have the meaning I thought they did.

However, there was nothing but expectancy and seriousness there, and I found myself feeling very aware of him just then as my pulse raced.

"Fuck, Sasuke, why are you teasing me?" I whispered, carefully, grabbing his hand in mine.

"Who says I'm teasing?" He inquired slowly, again with that scary, scary seriousness of his. "You think you're the only one who thinks about sex in this?"

Only silence followed his challenging question where all I could do was bite my lip and stare at him.

"We're different," I replied, after a while. "I am what I am, and you're in a situation where..."

"I'm a guy," he interrupted firmly, intertwining our fingers over the mattress, my hand turned upwards underneath his. "And we've been intimate for a while now. I've gotten used to you, and I even think you're hot. You're not the only one who goes home and jerks off thinking about us, you know."

The statement actually took me by surprise, even if it made a bit happy and excited on the inside.

"It's too soon for sex," I said quickly.

"I know," he agreed, heaving a heavy sigh that sounded frustrated. But then again, Sasuke always sounded frustrated. "I guess I just want you to know that I think about it, too."

"You think about fucking _me_?" I asked, the corner of my mouth twitching upwards in a conceited expression.

"Something like that."

"We'll have to work on that, then, because I don't bottom," I retorted, dragging myself closer to him so that our noses almost touched, and I couldn't see his face clearly.

"Urgh," he uttered, unimpressed. "It figures."

He was the one to lean forward this time to chastely press our mouths together briefly.

"During these last few weeks with you I've been feeling better than I did in quite a long time," he began, in a whisper that I could only hear because we were so close. "I feel that, what we have now has legs that are strong enough to walk on their own. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah," I nodded, biting my lower lip as a wave of affection ran through my whole body.

"I'm not going to say that I'm ready for something extreme," he pressed on, squeezing my hand. "I'm just saying that I'm not against us taking things to another level. I brought you here because I wanted to make it up to you for being patient with me. I want you to know why I love Tokyo and why I love modelling, and I thought this would be good for us to spend some time together, become closer and understand each other more."

For a moment, it became hard to breathe. I felt moved by his words, and a little taken aback, too. Most of all, I was overwhelmed with joy because Uchiha Sasuke was not the kind of person to say something he didn't mean, and to know he felt that motivated by us was great.

"I have dated a lot of attractive people, some on the inside, some on the outside," I whispered, voice hoarse with emotion. "But, even though I knew you could be a decent person, I never really realized what was it that made people want to get to you until recently."

"Naruto," he called out, but I kissed him on the lips to silence him and he didn't try to speak again.

"I have no problems in initiating anything more physical, or emotional, with you whatsoever," I proceeded, pressing my index finger to his lips to keep them closed. "But I'm not going to do it just because we're both feeling horny. Because, right now, you think you can because we make out and grope each other and whatever. But you need to think about it, Sasuke; really think if you can do it, know you will like it and will not feel awkward or regret it afterwards. If you do, we'll see how things go, okay?"

We were so close he was nothing but a distorted blur, but I was aware of his eyes closing and him nodding once.

"Right," he agreed softly, exhaling sweetly through his nose. "You're right."

I pressed my lips to his fingers and draped my free arm over his waist, making him snuggle more against me. I was fascinated at how relaxed and content he seemed, so completely unguarded.

Happiness, the heat from his body and the comforting presence of another body lulled me slowly towards a sleeping stance.

"Naruto," Sasuke's slurred voice mumbled after what felt like hours, slightly stirring me awake from my dozing state. "I'm glad you came with me."

"Ah," I slurred back, my mind heavy with sleep. "I'm glad you brought me with you."

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to leave a comment ;)


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, let me tell you that I have no idea what a photo shoot is like apart from what seen on TV, so if you want to correct me on something, please, do. Also, the idea of the image projected on Sasuke's painted body is possible. A friend of mine did a photo shoot like that, she showed me the pictures, and they looked awesome.
> 
> I really enjoy this chapter too, it has an interesting atmosphere coming from all sides I suppose.
> 
> This chapter was revised by nishyneko from Y!Gallery back then, and edited by me throughout the ages.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Eight**

_Naruto's POV_

Falling asleep had been pretty easy for me, and sure enough my fatigue allowed me to pass out heavily for a few hours. However, it was 6:15 in the morning when I woke up in desperate need to pee, so I headed to the bathroom. Once I was done I found myself too restless to go back to bed, even if the comfort of Sasuke's warm and soundless slumber was very appealing. I sat on the leather armchair near the window, doodling a bit in my sketchbook with the aid of the morning light coming from behind me before becoming bored. The sun was still rising, but I was too excited about the day ahead, so I decided to get my mobile phone from under my pillow and head for the kitchen, where I drank a glass of leftover juice from the night before and then sat at the table for lack of anything better to do. I checked my phone only to confirm that I hadn't been mistaken about Kiba's reaction to my text message telling him that I was in Tokyo with Sasuke – I had forty-two calls from him and nine unread text messages, apart from the ones sent by other friends.

With a sigh, I decided that I wasn't in the mood to read everything. Besides, most of those messages were actually from people I didn't even hang out with that often.

Kiba's reaction to me being in Tokyo would be nothing like the one he'd have when I told him Sasuke and I were dating.

Kiba had to know. It wasn't as if I was still mad at Sasuke for telling the news to his brother, but in my mind, if he had the right to have an 'accomplice', then so did I. Even if my parents wouldn't exactly object to it, it was too risky to tell them when they were so close to the Uchiha, not to mention that they knew very little about my various flings and relationships. No one knew more about me than Kiba himself – he was my best friend and the closest thing to a brother I ever had, no matter how much I loved the rest of the guys from our group.

Not that I was expecting him to be a good sport about it, but I already knew I had to put myself in Kiba's shoes and try to see things from his perspective.

Over the surface of the table I found the pack of cigarettes Itachi had bought the previous night, a transparent lighter conveniently placed over it. I remembered seeing a crystal ashtray on the counter, so I got up and fetched it before sitting down again and lighting a cigarette, only then proceeding to check the messages from my friends, wishing me a happy birthday. Then, I moved on to Kiba's last three messages, just out of curiosity.

Two of them contained some random cursing and a few empty threads, nothing I hadn't expected – it only proved my point that he had incoherently texted me whatever his mind had come up with. The last message, however, contained nothing but a grumpy 'Happy birthday, fuckhead. I hope you have fun and end up feeling very guilty for not spending it with your friends and family. Still, I forgive you, so make it count'.

I smiled a bit at that, shaking my head from side to side. Everything would be fine. At least when I got back, Kiba would have calmed down enough for us to do some serious talking.

It was odd, though, that only then did I realize that it was the first time I would be spending my birthday away from my hometown, my parents and my close friends.

I set the phone down and took a drag from my cigarette, feeling a bit morose. It had to happen someday, I knew that, but kind of baffled me that I only managed to seriously think about it now that I was in Tokyo. When Sasuke had asked me if I wanted to go, I never even entertained the possibility of saying 'no', so fascinated I had been about the prospect of doing something different, with him.

Looking back, Mom had seemed a bit sad, but she was always too cheerful and concerned about my happiness to not mention how that might make her feel.

Fuck. I had to call her later and apologize. Maybe not apologize, per se, but at least make sure she was alright and somehow let her know that everything was fine.

Guilt was building up inside me when I heard footsteps approaching. I looked up to see Itachi coming in, yawning slightly behind his hand, his dark hair loose and falling in silky but disheveled cascades over his shoulders.

For a few seconds, I absently contemplated how good-looking he was even for someone freshly out of bed, as well as his obvious similarities with Sasuke. I wondered if Sasuke would look like him when he reached 22 because, if he did, the guy would totally reach a new level of hotness. Not that he wasn't hot already – and not like I was attracted to Itachi or anything – but truth be told, if someone were to ask me which brother I thought was the handsomest, I honestly couldn't tell. Itachi was more mature and held himself differently from us, so that, I supposed, added to the appeal.

"What's with the silly grin?" Itachi asked, somewhat grumpily, going over to the fridge and opening the door.

"Nothing," I answered, not having realized I had been grinning in the first place. "Good morning."

"Yeah, 'morning," the older Uchiha said, closing the door of the fridge once his brain processed there was nothing special inside. "Did you sleep well? Happy birthday, by the way."

"I did, and thanks. You?"

He grunted in affirmation and came to sit down on the chair beside me, lighting a cigarette for himself before supporting both his elbows on the surface of the table and looking at me.

"You look thoughtful," he noted simply, the cigarette dangling from his lips.

"Ah, it's nothing," I dismissed. "I just realized it's my first birthday away from home and… well, I hadn't really thought about it before coming here, I guess."

"You're regretting it?"

"No way," I said, offering him a larger grin. "I'm in Tokyo with my hot model boyfriend and a major TV star; it can't get any better than this!"

Itachi smiled slightly, using two fingers to remove the cigarette from his lips with natural elegance. "I'm sorry for being so aggressive yesterday about yours and Sasuke's relationship."

The simple apology took me by surprise, but I just shrugged and leaned back on the chair.

"It's no big deal, I understand," I said, truthfully. "You're his brother after all."

"No, Naruto. Now that it's just the two of us, I wanted you to know that it's nothing personal or anything," he pressed on calmly, heaving a sigh. "You know I'm fond of you. More than that, I trust you, and that makes me more at ease because I know you're not the kind of guy that would purposefully do anything to hurt my brother." The honesty made me smile and tilt my head to the side. Still Itachi frowned at me, looking concerned.

"I hope that things go well between the two of you," he proceeded, glancing at me carefully. "Because I wouldn't want either of you to suffer if anything bad were to happen."

My smile faltered slightly. "Why would you say that?" I inquired quietly. Itachi leaned back on his chair and scratched his forehead with the palm of the hand holding the cigarette.

"Even though I have come to terms that the two of you may actually be more compatible than what I had expected," Itachi started. "I hope you do understand that Sasuke is using you. I have the feeling he is running away from something."

If the statement was supposed to have shocked me, in all truth, it didn't, and Itachi didn't seem unfazed by my lack of reaction.

I had the distinct feeling that, despite his words, somehow he had said that to strike a chord, maybe upset me, even. I vaguely wondered why but dismissed it. After all, Itachi was looking out for Sasuke's best interests, I couldn't really blame him for worrying and being a bit protective.

Sasuke had agreed to us getting together in hopes that I'd help him forget a certain someone, so of course there was no reason for me to feel offended or hurt, especially because I was sure I was working my way to his heart correctly. I was using him, too, in a way, because I wanted something else from a relationship, and I was getting it with him, slowly but consistently, or so I thought. It did make me wonder however, if the older Uchiha knew about Sasuke's secret as well, but I wasn't stupid enough to open my mouth about it. For all I knew, Itachi could've been trying to test me.

Seeing as I didn't say anything and just kept on staring at him, Itachi continued. "I see this doesn't come as a surprise to you. I'm amazed that you'd go for it."

I shrugged. "I have nothing to lose," I muttered, unsure of where the conversation was headed. "So long as there's mutual respect and understanding, I have no complaints."

He nodded and took another drag in his cigarette. "Quite frankly, Sasuke kind of overwhelms me once in a while," he confessed, solemnly. "He's not a kid anymore, and more often than not he keeps moving forward without mine or our parents' help. He does things he thinks are correct in his mind and I, who have tried to be there for him no matter what, feel helpless. He doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me anymore." He smiled a bit. "You don't relate to this because you're still too young, but I guess I understand how my parents felt once I decided to move here and do whatever I pleased with my life. Seeing someone precious growing up and becoming independent is rather sad to see. Not that I'm not proud or anything."

I watched his thoughtful and slightly morose expression for a while, his words making me think about my parents and how they might possibly see my attitude of always wanting to do things by myself. In a way, Sasuke and I were very similar when it came to be self-sufficient and doing things on our own, so I could relate to him, even if Sasuke took it to a whole other level since he actually also worked outside of our hometown.

I also couldn't help but notice how Itachi's own words seemed to carry a heavy weight to them.

"He just doesn't want to burden you or your parents," I said softly, flicking my cigarette over the ashtray so that the ashes fell on it. "He really wants to be able to choose his own destiny."

Itachi opened his mouth to say something else, but at that precise moment Sasuke came walking in, his hair disheveled and feet dragging heavily, catching both our attentions.

His midnight eyes were narrowed and sleepy as they fell upon Itachi first. Then, as if deciding his brother was unworthy of his attention, said eyes turned and he was looking straight at me. When his lips formed a grouchy pout, I snickered at how absurdly cute he looked.

"You two are fucking noisy," he mumbled, walking towards me grumpily – an amazingly accurate younger version of Itachi – and stopping beside me. I smiled at him and surrounded his waist with one arm, his hand ruffling lazily the hair at the top of my head. I became very conscious of Itachi's attentive stare settled on both of us.

"Well you couldn't sleep for much longer anyway," Itachi said blankly, smashing the tip of his cigarette on the ashtray.

"Happy birthday, moron," Sasuke muttered leaning down as I instinctively tilted my head backwards so we could kiss.

"Thanks," I said, smiling slightly and rubbing my nose against his playfully. "Your breath smells like ass, just so you know."

"Yours doesn't smell like roses either," he replied, smirking a bit at me, but still pressing his lips to mine before promptly sitting on my lap. When I twisted my body slightly to set my cigarette on the ashtray, I got a glimpse of Itachi's eyebrows quirking upwards at us.

"What did you get me?" I inquired, choosing to ignore the weird look we were receiving.

"I thought I was already more than a good enough present," Sasuke said, leaning his temple against my forehead. "I'm a five-star boyfriend, after all."

"That you are," I agreed, sniggering a bit. He turned his face to me with a seductive but kind of evil grin.

"If you behave I might just let you unwrap me later."

"I'll be extra good today, then," I promised, half seriously, half-jokingly.

I suppose that the conversation we had the night before might've opened up new horizons for our relationship. Surely enough, it had been surprising for me to know that he fantasized about me and that he wanted to take things to another level – it made me know that he trusted me, thus giving me confidence about myself and my approach towards him. There was no denying the attraction connecting us, and surprisingly on his part since he was the one supposed to be the straight guy; but no matter how much I missed being intimate in more ways than one with someone, I wasn't planning on just jumping his pants as soon as I got the chance. Instead – even if it pained me and went against my needs – I'd give him time and allow him to choose and decide the moment when he would be completely ready.

It wouldn't take long if the way he had decided to nibble on my neck was any indication. He was offering small but intense bites to the curve, simultaneously flicking his tongue here and there and causing chills to run down my spine. I was momentarily lost in the feeling, my bottom lip stuck between my teeth to stop myself from moaning.

" _Excuse me_ ," Itachi's clearly annoyed voice interrupted. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that I was still in the kitchen and that the two of you were not alone."

Sasuke sucked on the skin behind my ear slightly before straightening up in resignation, frowning at his brother. As for me, all I could do, really, was blush. Now that I thought about it, Sasuke was pretty defiant, being so bold on front of his brother and I didn't know if this turned me on or confused me.

"Cock blocker," Sasuke accused, and I almost reprimanded him, but then realized that I had indulged his ministrations, which meant I had no right to play the righteous one.

"Sorry, Itachi," I still muttered, because I really didn't like doing things in front of Itachi or even close to anywhere he was, but somehow, I had the feeling that as long as Sasuke teased me, that was going to be a hard task to accomplish.

"Don't look at me like that, brat," Itachi unexpectedly snapped at Sasuke, standing up elegantly and turning his back to us as he was leaving the kitchen. I couldn't help but flinch at the tone used but Sasuke didn't even blink. "You two should get ready or we won't have time to have breakfast." Once Itachi was out of sight Sasuke stood up as well and pulled me with him.

"Just so you know, I do have something for you," he said mysteriously, tugging on the hem of my t shirt. "But you'll only get to see it later tonight."

I grinned at him and allowed myself to be pulled along towards the bathroom, but inside, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel anxious or excited.

000

Before getting out of Itachi's apartment, I had the chance to meet another more contemporaneous side of Sasuke's I had never seen before, since he had decided to dress up according to Tokyo's standards.

He was wearing a white t-shirt underneath a stylish tailored grey vest over a pair of tight black trousers that had the slightest glint to them, a silver chain linking one of the loops already adorned by a simple black belt to his left pocket. On his left wrist, there was a thick leather bracelet, and on the right, a silver watch that looked pretty expensive.

He had already stylized his hair so that the back of it stuck backwards in a more organized manner that what he usually wore back in our hometown.

Putting aside the fact that he looked like someone straight out of a teenage magazine – thus, more than pretty good – what amazed me the most were his ears, where, for the first time in my existence, I noticed were pierced in various places, small silvery rings and dots adorning the cartilages on both sides. How I had managed to miss those I had no idea, so he explained to me that he had gotten his ears pierced during summer vacations last year and that he rarely wore his piercings in our hometown, mostly because of school, only putting them – very tiny ones – on before going to sleep so as to prevent the holes from closing and then removing them as soon as he woke up in the morning. Also, his parents weren't too happy about it.

Personally, wild, stylish, rock star looking Sasuke kind of made me drool and wonder how the hell I could've spent so many years not appreciating the fine specimen that had grown up next to me.

Yup, my life had been tasteless before him and all that. Although he only became hot since he was thirteen or something, because before that, he leaned more towards the cute side.

I was wearing a red t-shirt with a few geometric figures in yellow that Itachi had gotten me for my birthday, baby blue trainers and a pair of grey jeans, and even though I knew I looked pretty good in a very simple way, I knew I looked nowhere near as good as Sasuke did. While the thought kind of upset me for manly, self-centered reasons, it kind of made me happy that I would walk the streets of Tokyo next to someone as attractive as him. Also, it pleased me to no end to know that we most definitely made a striking couple.

After eating a good breakfast at an amazing café near the apartment – courtesy of Itachi – we were picked up by a very good-looking woman in a white suit riding an amazing red car I had never seen before. Her name was Yuhi Kurenai and she was Sasuke's agent, and the person representing the agency Sasuke worked for.

I was once again introduced as Sasuke's childhood friend, and as she drove us to our destination I was feeling pretty enthusiastic about the prospect of seeing my boyfriend at work. Even though I wasn't really sure of what to expect, my mind was overwhelming me with what ifs and whatnots that I wanted to, but couldn't, ignore. Sasuke seemed pretty calm and in an unnatural good mood, and for some reason that only made me all the more excited because he seemed genuinely happy, even if he kept his cool demeanor.

Itachi, Sasuke and the woman chatted easily about random things during the short journey while I entertained myself looking out the window and admiring the city streets that I was also looking forward to patrol later.

Next thing I knew, Kurenai-san had parked the car and we were walking through the crowded streets towards a very tall white and very modern building. Itachi was wearing white trousers and a dark blue blazer over a black t-shirt. He had his sunglasses on, but that didn't stop people around us from looking at him and Sasuke as they entered the building side by side with me and Kurenai-san right behind them. It figures that those two together would make heads turn. It would be surprising if people _didn't_ stare.

It turned out it was a residential building, not a business one, as I had first assumed.

The glass doors at the entrance were huge, as was the lobby, all fancy and shit – fancier than the one where Itachi lived – but while I gawked and gaped and spun over my heels to look around, Kurenai san and Itachi had headed straight for the golden counter behind which the young receptionist (I still couldn't believe that there were such things as receptionists in residential buildings) was, and easily took care of business, Sasuke right next to them. I vaguely noticed the young woman's awkward but very enamored smile while looking at the brothers, a violent blush painting her cheeks, but I didn't really mind, continuing to look around excitedly.

The girl made a quick phone call to announce our arrival. Once she confirmed we were being expected, she told us the floor and we headed for the elevator that would lead us to our final destination.

000

The polished wooden door of the apartment swung open and we were greeted by a grey-haired man with round glasses who smiled at us in a very detached fashion. He looked young and really nerdy, but there was something in his eyes that gleamed of intelligence.

"I'm Yakushi Kabuto," he introduced himself with a curt bow, his tone dry and professional. He promptly urged the four of us inside the apartment and closed the door behind us. "I am Orochimaru-sama's personal assistant and you must be..." Sasuke tensed beside me and Kabuto looked down at a sheaf of papers he was holding. "…Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi, Kurenai Yuhi and Namikaze Naruto?"

"That's us," Kurenai-san confirmed, in a polite but business-like manner. "I have spoken to Orochimaru-sama yesterday. Itachi-san is Sasuke-kun's parental figure, and Naruto-kun is..."

"Yes, yes, I am aware," Kabuto interrupted nonchalantly with a nod towards her. "Everything has been taken care of. One moment, please."

The guy retreated quickly, allowing me to see perfectly well the apartment in front of me.

From what I could see, it was like we were in a big studio because there were a lot of eccentric looking people lurking around busily; lots of weird lights, machines, screens and devices I had never seen before were strategically placed around the room, and honestly, everything looked pretty amazing but very unorganized.

I doubted that there were any rooms in the apartment, because there was a small kitchen like area on the left wall, with a small counter and a sink with a window on the wall over it – the only one in the whole place – and a small refrigerator beside it, and from what I could see, there was only a door on the wall on the right side, probably leading to the bathroom. The front wall was tall, wide and completely empty, but then again, there were no decorations whatsoever apart from a few plastic chairs here and there.

I found out I was gaping from the sudden dryness in my mouth, so I promptly closed it, only then noticing that Sasuke was whispering excitedly to his brother, Kurenai-san herself looking pretty happy for some reason.

"What?" I couldn't help but ask, feeling curious as to what could be so good. The three looked at me and the childish grin Sasuke threw in my direction actually took me by surprise.

"I didn't tell you?" he asked animatedly. "Orochimaru-sama is one of the best, most influential and most famous photographers in Japan."

"Sasuke's a fan," Itachi explained plainly.

"That's really awesome!" I said as I grinned back, feeling honestly happy for my boyfriend, because, seriously, not everyone had the chance to work with someone they admired.

It was just then that a strong male voice made us turn.

"My friends, welcome!"

A middle-aged man was coming towards us with his arms slightly open in welcoming. He was tall, had his long and sleek black hair loose and was unnaturally pale. He looked like he was in his forties, and could even be considered an attractive – albeit creepy – man with delicate features and intelligent eyes the color of gold (contact lenses, I bet), but something about his body language told me that he was probably older. Much older. He had on a pair of wide cream trousers and a white tunic over them. His neck was adorned by several wooden tribal looking necklaces, his fingers filled with rings. The guy resembled someone straight out of the seventies.

He was smiling at us in a way that could be considered polite, but the gleam in his eyes when they set upon Sasuke made my smile weaken.

"Good morning," he greeted gently once he reached us. His voice was grave and unmistakably firm – the voice of someone who demanded respect and took shit from no one. "I'm Orochimaru, your photographer. Forgive the simplicity, but I prefer working within my own sanctuary, momentary as it might be."

"Orochimaru-sama, it's wonderful to see you again," Kurenai-san muttered, offering the man a very formal bow and then straightening up again before turning to Itachi. "Let me introduce you to…"

"Uchiha Itachi," Orochimaru said, eyeing Itachi with interest. "Actor, am I right?"

"Indeed," Itachi confirmed politely, not smiling at the man, but offering a small, elegant bow. "It's a pleasure to meet you; I'm Sasuke's parental figure."

"Likewise," Orochimaru's attention quickly turned to Sasuke and his smile – a very scary one, in my opinion – grew wider. "And this must be Sasuke-kun?"

"Yes," Sasuke said, smiling politely back at the man, and shaking the hand offered to him. "I'm really happy to be working with you; I'm a big fan of your work."

I felt my eyebrows rising at that, because for the first time ever, Sasuke seemed honestly ecstatic in a very _hysterical_ but subdued way, if the glint in his eyes and the pink in his cheeks was any indication.

Orochimaru then crossed his arms over his chest, eying Sasuke from head to toe appreciatively. "I must say I'm very pleased. Your portfolio had some very good pictures of you, but now that I've seen how you look in person, I don't think any of the previous photographers were competent enough to bring out the real you. You are way more _impressive_ than I had anticipated."

For some reason, I had the feeling the guy was either gay or a pervert because, in spite of his aristocratic and eccentric pose, there was something very weird about him, and I really didn't like the way he was looking at my boyfriend as if he'd seen a rare jewel that he desperately wanted to polish. He was being very gentle and low profile about it, but still. Not that I knew anything about photography or modelling. Maybe photographers tended to look at models like that.

Then again, maybe he _was_ a pervert.

"I'm mostly a catalogue model," Sasuke said, his blush deepening at the comment even though he didn't seem particularly embarrassed. "This is the first time I'm doing something outside of the fashion industry, to be honest."

"Well, it'll be good for both of us to explore another side of you, then," Orochimaru replied, his smile pleasant and very encouraging. "I'm positive you'll do just fine." His eyes landed on me, then. "And who might this young fox be?"

"He's my childhood friend," Sasuke explained, looking at me. "Namikaze Naruto. It's his birthday, so I thought I could bring him along. I hope it's not an inconvenience."

"Not at all, as long as he doesn't disturb the photo shoot," Orochimaru stated, good naturedly, but quickly going back to ignoring me and everyone else to focus on Sasuke once more. "So, I haven't really discussed this with Yuhi-san, but do you have any cons about being naked?"

I felt an odd tick cause my right eye to twitch.

Sasuke had mentioned that he was going to be posing naked, but for some reason it hadn't bothered me until then because I hadn't really thought about what exactly that meant. Was he really going to be on his birthday suit in front of all those people? Was Orochimaru going to photograph his…his…?

A little concerned, I watched Orochimaru pass by me without paying any attention to me and put an arm carefully around Sasuke's shoulders, taking him away towards the center of the apartment made studio.

"Not at all, I'm very comfortable with my body," Sasuke said, allowing himself to be easily led away.

"Ahah, I bet you are," I heard Orochimaru chuckle. The conversation between the two was tuned out by the noise around us as they moved away, Kurenai-san following them.

With my eyes still glued on Sasuke, I found myself being dragged along with Itachi by one of the young assistants to a corner where two plastic chairs had been placed. We sat down, and I nervously scanned the area, noticing that from where I was I could easily see everything that was going on around me. Another girl brought one bottle of cool water for each of us and then engaged on some small talk with Itachi – having recognized him – who indulged her in his gentle, nice guy way.

"You shouldn't worry too much about it," Itachi, noticing my tension, said to my right once the girl left, crossing one leg over the other. "Sasuke has signed a contract that clearly states what he can and cannot do at his age."

"Is this okay with you?" I asked, turning my gaze away from the group of three to look at Itachi. "I mean, I know that this is his job, and that nude pictures are a form of art and all that, but… I don't know, this just kind of upsets me."

Itachi smiled at me condescendingly, but there was a strange stiffness in his features.

"In his line of work, his body doesn't really belong to him because he is constantly being dressed and undressed by other people," he explained. "There's someone to remove his shirt, someone to remove his pants, someone to fix his hair, someone to put makeup on him. It's normal procedure, so I don't think it bothers him." He opened the cap of his bottle with a cracking sound. "Do I like it that my brother has to be touched by so many hands in just a few hours? Absolutely not. But I know what it's like; it's basically the same for me, so I understand that he's detached himself from such things already."

I frowned and focused my attention on Sasuke again to see him nodding seriously, very focused on what was being said by Orochimaru.

"As I said, you shouldn't be jealous because nothing of this means anything to him; it's like going to the doctor, really," Itachi added for emphasis.

"I'm not jealous; I know this is work and not a sexual thing," I muttered. "I just…I don't know. The old man is a bit of a freak."

Itachi smirked slightly. "Sasuke has been a fan of his for quite a long time now, so I think he's thrilled to be doing this. Orochimaru has a very particular and unusual way of doing things. His photos are something out of this world. He's known worldwide, and even has his own art galleries here and there. He's a sort of hippie though, so I guess that you get that freaky vibe from that."

He drank a bit of water from the bottle and I sighed in resignation. I could never understand Sasuke's feelings and his attitude towards his job, but I couldn't help the displeasure that something that was mine – a.k.a. his body (not that our schoolmates hadn't seen it already) – was going to serve as the main focus of attention of over twenty pairs of eyes that, no matter how professional they were, I was sure could appreciate something nice when they saw it.

After about fifteen minutes of conversation, Orochimaru snapped his fingers cockishly and before I knew what was happening, everybody in the room started moving really fast and noisily and Sasuke had been surrounded by four women and one guy as they effectively began to undress him. The man started ordering people around with what I assumed were quick and understandable demands on how he wanted things, turning from placid to bossy in a heartbeat.

Itachi watched the scene before him with cool attentiveness, his gaze following his brother like a hawk as if making sure he was being properly taken care of. As for me, I felt my heart constrict in simultaneous excitement and irritation because I had no idea what was going to happen.

"I want his hair done first, wild just like I said I wanted it, but nothing too extreme, and someone get me my paints and brushes!" Orochimaru suddenly shouted, his eyebrows furrowed as if thinking people were too slow for his taste. "And why isn't there a plastic sheet on the floor already, I've asked for it hours ago!"

Sasuke actually smirked at that, his body moving automatically to help the removal of his clothes and his shoes.

Once he was completely naked, the people around him dispersed, taking his possessions away, and he was left standing there alone, exposed for anyone who wanted to see, and even though he didn't seem particularly upset about it, _I_ sure was. For more reasons than one.

I really wanted to see every detail of how the whole photo shoot would be processed, but instead found my eyes stubbornly focused on my boyfriend's body, a sight that wasn't exactly new to me, but truth be told, I had never really paid that much attention to it before. Not being able to look away was very embarrassing for me, especially because Sasuke's older brother was right there.

But it was unmistakable that Sasuke was fucking gorgeous. surprisingly well endowed, too and I didn't know how to feel about it. If the giggling and dirty sentences I was hearing all around me were not a fragment of my imagination, the women – and a few men – there thought the exact same thing.

Sasuke was approached by two guys with outstanding delicate gestures who quickly started to work on his hair.

Kurenai-san was standing in the kitchen area, talking to someone on her mobile phone.

"Don't you dare take those piercings off!" Orochimaru snarled when one of the guys brought his hands to Sasuke's ears to start removing them. "What are you, retarded? It gives him charisma; just do your damn job and move it!"

"You can make yourselves at home and take a look around," Kabuto said to Itachi and me as he was hurriedly passing by, coming out of nowhere. "Everyone here will gladly answer your questions if you have any. Just don't get in the way when Orochimaru-sama starts working."

"I'm fine; I have enough of this already in my daily life," Itachi declined once the guy was once more out of sight, gesturing to the commotion. "You go and keep yourself busy, Naruto," he suggested, looking at me with a small smile. "You should make the best out of today."

I eyed him unsurely because no matter how appealing the prospect of snooping around to check how things worked was, I didn't really want to leave Itachi alone.

I nodded but didn't really get up just then, instead fishing my mobile phone from a small shoulder bag I had brought with me and checking it. I found a few more birthday text messages there, some from people from my circle of friends, some from people I was simply acquainted with, which made me realize I should probably just delete a few contacts. I texted my mom – since the phone was on vibration mode, I didn't hear it ring and had two missed calls from her – to tell her I was already on Sasuke's photo shoot and that I'd call her back once we were done. I then texted Kiba to tell him I was fine. 'Have fun' was his reply.

When I put the phone away, I noticed that Itachi himself was busy calmly checking his own cell phone, probably texting as well, or answering emails, so I finally got up and removed my jacket and the shoulder bag. I left them and the bottle of water over the chair and shoved my hands inside my pockets, looking around.

I noticed that there was already a wide, transparent plastic sheet on the floor, and Orochimaru was telling Sasuke to stand over it. His hair had already been done, but they didn't really change his initial hairdo, only made it look slightly wilder. The photographer – and, apparently, painter as well – was already holding a thick brush in his right hand, and two, thinner ones on his left. At Sasuke's feet, over the plastic, several small paint cans could be seen, and a couple of buckets filled with clean water.

Near the empty wall in the front, all sorts of luminaires were being prepared and strategically placed by a group of young men in their twenties. I walked over to them, chancing a glance at Sasuke, who looked back at me and smiled softly, just as Orochimaru had crouched down and quickly started smearing paint on his feet - a leafy green color - with the thick brush.

The group was really nice; they explained what they were doing, what each device was for, which were used for providing light and which were used to balance the shadows in the room. They even let me help them plug the cables in their proper places just to keep me busy. They were highly interested when I told them I wanted to become a _mangaka_ , too.

About half an hour later, I looked back at Sasuke and noticed that he was still standing very straight in the same spot and that his body had already been painted halfway through. There were two shades of green, now, the leafy one and a dark, emerald one.

Orochimaru had also used brown to draw what I assumed were supposed to be replicas of small twigs and branches. Here and there, one could see strokes of dark yellow and black, and the intricate and (probably) purposefully sloppy patterns were all pretty impressive considering how fast the man's work was progressing. It was beautiful in a Picasso sort of way, and the sight drew me in.

Sasuke was probably supposed to portray some sort of wild plant creature or something, and I could just tell he was going to look amazing because the effect of the paint in his body was simply stunning.

From where I was, I could see Sasuke's profile. I noticed that even _that_ intimate part of him had been painted and found myself a little horrified that I had missed it. Also, an unstoppable wave of jealousy rushed through my veins at thinking that some stranger had touched my boyfriend's intimate attributes before me. Well, he hadn't touched them, the brush didn't count, but still, the truth was that the Sasuke was actually half hard. He didn't seem bothered, or embarrassed by it, and Orochimaru himself made a brilliant job of ignoring it.

Probably feeling my gaze on him, Sasuke turned his head to me and our eyes met, causing my heart to beat a little faster. He quirked an eyebrow at my expression and I made a head signal towards Orochimaru – who had his back to me, very focused while painting Sasuke's waist – and then down, towards Sasuke's crotch. Sasuke smirked and rolled his eyes. I just pouted and bit my lip.

It wasn't really helpful that, in spite of the jealousy, the sight was very arousing. I couldn't help but wonder if Sasuke was enjoying what was being done to him, since his body was responding, even if just a bit. Mine sure was because, unfortunately for me, my mind decided to supply all sorts of sudden and unwelcomed fantasies of how my naked body would feel with paint on it, preferably when rubbed against Sasuke's own painted body, on the floor, everything slippery…

After almost four weeks of dating him, it was only at that precise moment that I realized how sexually frustrated I really was and how it was taking its toll on me. I mean, sure, I hadn't dated anyone in a long time, and it wasn't like my sex life outside of a relationship was that active, so I suppose that having someone and not doing anything with said person was probably making it worse.

I don't know what Sasuke saw in my face, but his smirk became rather knowing, seductive and positively evil. He knew the effect he had on me, and I couldn't help but notice that he was consistently becoming harder, which led me to think that maybe it was a bad idea to just stay there and stare at him, for both our sakes.

Feeling my face burn from too much blood rushing both northwards and southwards, I turned around and made my way towards the kitchen area, looking around for signs of Itachi, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Sorry," I heard Sasuke mutter to Orochimaru. He didn't really sound sorry, but he was polite about it, at least.

"Don't worry about it," the older man said simply, not even looking away from his work to see what Sasuke was talking about. "Body painting is a very erotic form of art, and I am aware of it. It's good to be young and overly sensible, right?"

Sasuke's laugh actually made me cringe.

That talk the night before shouldn't have happened at all.

000

Orochimaru painted Sasuke everywhere, even his face, the process having lasted for about an hour and something. At the end of it, the Uchiha really looked like a plant creature or at least someone from a tribe, camouflaged to protect himself from wild animals.

By then, I had chatted a bit with Kurenai-san over cokes in the kitchen area, nagged some of the technical assistants to know why exactly the main professional camera was connected to a screen, and had been approached by two girls who were clearly _visual kei_ fans about Sasuke and Itachi. I was a little taken aback by their multiple questions, but they were nice enough, so I tried not to be rude without revealing anything about the two. At the end of the odd conversation, I couldn't really tell if they were discouraged or happy to have at least a bit of information on the brothers. In a way, I wondered how popular Sasuke was, and if the fact that he was Itachi's brother was common knowledge in the media.

I was sure there were some places where people knew about this, but it wasn't a countrywide gossip, otherwise I was sure Sasuke would be more solicited and the spotlight would probably be on him five times more than it was. Itachi probably protected him, even if he was willing to help Sasuke's career to develop. I could almost swear that the older one wanted the world to see Sasuke for who he was, not take notice of him because he was Itachi's younger brother.

Everything was getting ready for the actual photo shoot, so I chose to sit down on the floor a few meters behind the place where Orochimaru's camera and all the apparatus connected to it was so I could see both the empty wall and the procedures.

One of the girls who had spoken to me took a picture of Sasuke – full body, I assumed – and then hurried to show it to him, being very careful not to touch him in case she might damage the paint.

Orochimaru's instructions were firm and precise. The blinds were closed; all the lights belonging to the apartment were switched off, being replaced by a few of the technical lights necessary. All of a sudden, a device stuck to the ceiling I hadn't noticed before projected the gorgeous image of what looked like dry leaves on the forest ground in the white wall. A little intrigued, I watched Orochimaru position himself behind his camera and motion Sasuke towards the wall, the patterns of the picture reflected on his already painted body, creating the most unusual but beautiful effect I had ever seen. The hairdressers fixed his hair once more, and all the while, people delivered the finishing touches to the equipment until the old man nodded his approval, moment when everyone moved to either behind him, or beside him, the noise subsiding substantially.

"Remember what we discussed," Orochimaru said to Sasuke, head tilted down as he looked at his camera to see if everything was to his liking. "I want intensity, expression, but I also want _you_. You saw how you look, so I want you to think about what you saw and describe it with your body."

"Alright." Sasuke nodded lightly.

Orochimaru lifted his head and looked at his model seriously, Sasuke looking back at him with a very focused expression. "So, this…" the older man gestured vaguely towards Sasuke. "…looks absolutely amazing. But it's not a play, you're not supposed to portray what I painted on you, you're not supposed to be a cheap version of those creatures from 'Avatar', you understand? It's the concept, the colors that I want you to focus on."

"I understand," Sasuke confirmed simply, with another nod. "I will do my best."

There was something about his stance that changed, then. It wasn't something unknown to me, he always got that focused look on his eyes at school during classes, or when competing in P.E.

Sasuke rolled his shoulders elegantly, taut muscles shifting visibly underneath the paint before relaxing them, the action somehow causing his neck to become more exposed. He moved backwards, closer to the wall, hands coming behind him so that the tips of his fingers connected with the surface carefully. He seemed to be experimenting with his body and how he could or should move it for a while.

"Remember to be careful and not show too much genitalia," the photographer advised, and I could hear a smile in his voice as he said it.

Sasuke just made an understanding noise with back of his throat. His gaze landed on me and I swallowed hard at how strong it was, not daring to smile at him, too scared to break his concentration. His eyes looked horribly brighter than what they usually did, the usual dark grey becoming several shades lighter because of the way the light hit him.

I was, once more, attacked by his devious smirk and my breath caught in my throat.

Man, did he look _good_.

My whole body jerked in excitement.

I felt someone landing beside me on the floor and turned my head to see Itachi sitting there with his legs crossed Indian Style, like me.

"What did I miss?" He asked in a casual whisper, his eyes focusing on his brother straight on.

"Nothing you'll regret not having seen," I said, shrugging and adjusting myself, somehow feeling a slight electrical itch run through my body, way too uncomfortable for a place filled with people.

"Is that so?" Itachi said, mockingly. "Because I would swear that you seem to be having a little problem down there."

"Aw, man, what the fuck?!" I replied, elbowing him roughly in embarrassment.

"It's kind of hard not to notice when you've been twitching for a while now."

"Shut up," I mumbled under my breath, feeling my cheeks catch fire. "It's your brother's fault for teasing me. That stupid smirk of his is a fucking sin I tell you. It makes me feel all weird."

"Even though I know Sasuke is attractive, I'd rather not discuss his effect on you," Itachi said, supporting his elbow on my shoulder "Come on little fox, talk to me, I'm bored."

"I don't want to talk," I moaned, tilting my head to the side so that my temple rested on his elbow. "I just want to stare and fantasize and be immensely depressed and frustrated, albeit fascinated." When I looked at Sasuke again, Orochimaru was already taking pictures of him and he was pretty brilliant as far as my own personal opinion went. "Fuck, no one has the right to be that hot."

"Please, refrain from saying such perverted things about my baby brother in front of me," the older Uchiha warned, pinching my ear.

"Don't be jealous. You're hot, too." I grinned.

"Thank you for your consideration..." Itachi frowned. "...I suppose."

"Anytime."

People were muttering things under their breaths, some just talking among themselves about things that didn't really matter, others talking about Sasuke, others conspiring on how Orochimaru was clearly taking a liking to him.

"So, how are you enjoying the experience so far?" Itachi asked casually, but when I looked at him, his eyes were fixed intently on Sasuke.

"Well, perverted stuff aside, this is really cool," I replied. "Sasuke seems so confident, too."

"He's an Uchiha," Itachi muttered, as if that explained everything.

"Of course," I rolled my eyes.

Orochimaru took a few pictures with the camera settled on the tripod first, Sasuke crouching down, then getting up, sometimes twisting his body, lifting his chin up, always very professional, his movements very natural but very coordinated. It was fascinating to watch.

"Wow," I sighed, blinking in awe. "Look at that! That's just...he looks really good, doesn't he? Look at his eyes!"

"Wonderful!" Orochimaru gasped before removing the camera from the tripod and getting closer to Sasuke.

"That's it, keep the strong stance. Turn your hips more to side. There you go. That is perfect, Sasuke-kun! Now hold it."

"You like it?" Itachi inquired softly. He had gone very still, watching his brother unblinkingly.

"It's just... wow."

For a moment, as if feeling the intense gaze on him, Sasuke's eyes landed on his brother. His expression changed slightly then, almost imperceptibly, but he looked both fearful and feral at the same time. I could see him inhaling a bit through his nose before the tip of his tongue peeked out to wet his lips, the effect probably unintentional but quite the sight, and Orochimaru clearly thought so, too.

"Beautiful, now hold it!" The man said.

"That's intimidating," I said, looking back at Itachi, whose narrowed eyes were still fixed on Sasuke's. "I'm torn between horny and terrified, but he's so awesome, isn't he?"

"Nh," he muttered, darkly. "Fascinating isn't it? I'm sure Orochimaru-sama is having the time of his life."

"I would too if I was in his place."

"Sasuke is a natural," Itachi explained obvious pride filling his voice, even if his tone had lowered to something I couldn't quite grasp. Sasuke was finally allowed to look away from him. Itachi cleared his throat. "He turns himself into whatever the photographer wants easily, just like that. Like a chameleon. It also helps that he's very photogenic, so it's impossible for him to not look good. He's very talented."

"Very," I agreed, with a sigh. "It's kind of breathtaking."

"It certainly is," Itachi agreed, his voice more casual now. "I'm used to seeing him work, but I feel envious of him every single time. Don't tell him this, though, he'll get cocky."

I laughed because, seriously, if anyone heard the great Uchiha Itachi saying that, they'd be blown away. Nevertheless, I believed him because I knew how much he cherished his brother and valued him and his talent.

For all I could see, Itachi was as fascinated as I was, only he was more composed and evidently discreet about it. I would bet all my saving on how Itachi was actually his brother's number one fan.

It took another fifteen minutes with Orochimaru trying out all sorts of weird angles from both Sasuke and his camera before the man was completely satisfied and, to be very honest, positively thrilled.

"That's a wrap, everybody!" he exclaimed, shoving his camera into Kabuto's hands before walking towards Sasuke and whispering to him while gesturing exuberantly with his hands, Sasuke actually smiling at him simply, nodding humbly.

Everybody in the set started moving about noisily once more, and Itachi slapped my knee to warn me we should probably get up, which we did.

"So, I guess this is it?" I muttered, stretching my arms above my head.

"Let's just hope they let him shower," Itachi joked.

As if on cue, Sasuke walked over to us in all his naked, painted glory and I had to grab Itachi's arm for some semblance of control because I was still too visually sensitized and didn't really trust myself with having him like that so close to me.

"Orochimaru-san said I could take a shower," he said, sighing a bit but looking pleased with himself. "It might take a while for me to take this off."

"That's fine; Naruto and I will go grab a coffee or something," Itachi said. His voice sounded amused, but I didn't really know what the expression on his face was since I was much too preoccupied looking at Sasuke's face so that my eyes wouldn't fall and land somewhere they shouldn't. I didn't trust my voice either, so I kept my mouth shut. Sasuke smiled at me and walked away, heading for what I supposed was the bathroom, which door one of the guys was already holding open for him. I still couldn't help but look down to have one last glimpse of his ass before it disappeared.

Kurenai-san approached us and wasted a few minutes talking about the photo shoot with Itachi before the two of us went to say goodbye to Orochimaru, who offered a few praising lines to Itachi on Sasuke's behalf. The man was obviously ecstatic.

Then, the two of us retrieved our belongings and left the apartment and the building. The first thing I did was bum a cigarette out of Itachi – he lit one for himself as well – to see if I could tone down the excitement still running through my veins. We smoked as we walked for a bit, looking around for a coffee shop nearby. Being very sensible to my idiotic state I presumed, Itachi avoided talking about the photo shoot now that it was over, and I was thankful for that, even if I knew that my day was going to be seriously weird if the way I was feeling was any indication. I was actually pretty scared at the prospect of spending the whole day with Sasuke alone since apparently Itachi was going to meet a friend and would not be tagging along. Without Itachi to hold me back, how the fuck was I supposed to survive Sasuke after what I had seen? A man's resolve could only endure so much.

We found a cute little place not too far from the building we had been at. Itachi ordered a coffee and paid for the gum I asked for.

Thirty minutes later and a lot of easy talking, Sasuke called his brother to ask where we were. He found the place pretty quickly, and I was rather relieved that he had his clothes on and looked normal, no traces of paint anywhere, Kurenai-san having already left. Not that I expected him to show up still naked but, I don't know, my mind was highly polluted at that point. His hair was still wet from the shower, and I had a thing for wet hair, so it wasn't like I was immune to some Uchiha sex appeal just yet, far from it.

Sasuke dragged us outside, begging for a cigarette but looking really happy because Orochimaru had been very pleased with his work and had even given him his personal phone number, saying he'd like to work with him again, and possibly buy him dinner so they could talk more.

Itachi asked if we needed a ride somewhere since his friend was coming to pick him up soon, but Sasuke declined since we were close to the subways and the purpose of me being there was to actually be able to enjoy the city life.

Itachi forced Sasuke to accept some money even if the younger didn't want to, but eventually caved in, looking more than a bit embarrassed and irritated.

We kept Itachi company until someone's fancy car parked in front of us. There seemed to be a lot of fancy cars in Tokyo. We said our goodbyes, Itachi saying he wouldn't be home until after dinner time and that we should have fun and behave, throwing a narrow-eyed look at me that made me gulp. When he got in the car, I got a glimpse of a tall, muscular and menacing looking man that waved cheerfully at us.

Sasuke waved back dispassionately, calling the man by 'Kisame'. Then, just like that, Itachi closed the door and the car drove off, leaving us by ourselves. Apparently the 'friend' was also Itachi's personal assistant and the man who dealt with Itachi's agenda.

I jumped a little when Sasuke held my hand and smiled, his touch making my breath catch in my throat.

"Ready?" he asked in a good mood, flashing those pretty teeth at me. I forced myself to smile back and mentally reprimand myself in order to just freaking calm down because, really, we had been dating for four fucking weeks, and only then, on that day, my body had chosen to be awkward and needy.

Fuck.

Naked Sasuke's image had been tattooed inside my brain.

"Sure," I muttered.

He led the way down the street, and I sighed. Just focus on Tokyo, that's what you're here for, I said to myself. You were excited about this, so just focus on that and enjoy. And stop being a freaking' pervert!

It had been a long morning, but for some reason I was sure it was going to be a long day as well.

TBC...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and don't forget to let me know your thoughts ;)


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Biiiig chapter coming up guys, but good stuff on the way!
> 
> Unbetaed.
> 
> Just one thing: I have never been in Japan, so what I say here is mostly from pics I've seen and info a friend of mine (who has been there) provided. If I'm doing something wrong, please, do let me know.
> 
> WARNINGS FOR EXPLICIT SEXUAL INTERACTIONS BETWEEN TEENAGERS
> 
> There are so many fics where Sasuke and Naruto do all kinds of stuff when they're 17 and yet, I still feel the need to give out warnings. 
> 
> ENJOY!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Nine**

_Sasuke's POV_

Knowing Naruto the way I did, it became obvious to me that he wasn't exactly in the same mood he had been that same morning. He was abnormally quiet, his smile seemed almost forced, and there was an odd twitchiness about him whenever we got too close to each other. When I asked what was wrong, he just brushed me off with a fake laugh, claiming that he was just a bit sleepy, which I didn't buy for a second, and he knew it. Still, I let it go.

He called Kushina on our way to the subway, and apparently, my mother was with her, because they practically threw him a party over the phone, which seemed to improve his mood considerably. When Kushina started to tell him that he should behave and take care of himself, presenting him (once more, according to him) with a whole list of what _not_ to do while in Tokyo, he promptly handed me his phone so that I could placate her and let her know that I'd take care of him and make sure he didn't get in trouble.

It was kind of funny, the role of guardian she always bestowed upon me, when in truth, even though I _was_ more responsible than Naruto, I usually messed around as carelessly as he did once in a while.

I took the chance to have a word with my mother, too, to fill her in on how the photo shoot had gone.

Naruto became more talkative after the phone call, but he was still avoiding being close to me, and made no move to hold my hand again, which was weird to say the least, when he was always the more touchy-feely of the two.

I could almost swear I knew what was causing it.

I had planned on taking him to see a few simple but iconic places before starting with the real fun, but then ended up changing my mind and coming to the conclusion that, if I wanted him to forget whatever inner conflict he was having, I had to give him something that would force him to go back to his usual self. He wasn't fond of culture, anyway.

Of course, he knew nothing of Tokyo's public transportations, so I had no problems in keeping our destination a secret from him, even if he did nag me for a while to know where we were going.

When we reached our destination, we managed to walk for a while without him having a clue as to where we were until he took a good look around at the busy, crowded and colourful streets. That was when the wheels started spinning in his head – it took a few seconds, though – and he finally let out an ecstatic, very Naruto-like yelp as he jumped once. He turned to me with his bright blue eyes wide, and I actually laughed at his surprised excitement.

"Are you fucking serious?!" he screeched. "Like, we're here? Really _here_?"

"This is Akihabara for you," I confirmed, smiling with a secure nod, shoving my hands inside my pockets. "A whole paradise waiting to satisfy your _Otaku_ hunger. This is probably the only place in the world where you can be as nerdy and creepy as you want."

He actually punched the air while releasing an excited exclamation that might've been some form of incoherent sentence before grabbing my face and kissing me roughly. When he released me, I took a while to come down from the high of his excitement only to realize that he had already ran off to explore. Heaving a sigh, I smirked to myself and calmly followed after him.

We spent the rest of the morning basically visiting everything; whether it was _anime/manga_ related, or just somewhere Naruto could drool all over the high-tech devices, it was a rushed, overly excited couple of hours for us.

Being a normal Japanese teenager, I honestly wasn't very connected to that world. Naruto had grown up surrounded by _manga_ because of his family's business and the fact that Minato was a famous _Mangaka_ , but in my own family, we barely even watched TV, not to mention that we were surrounded by normal books, classical tales and poems, something we all enjoyed immensely. We were kind of nerdy in our own way, I suppose.

Still, I couldn't help my stupid, constant smile at Naruto's obvious happiness, even though I did try to conceal it most of the times.

The streets were filled with people, many of them tourists, but none of their amazement could compare to Naruto's constant hysteria at seeing some of the cosplayers lurking around. I took so many pictures of him hugging unknown people and inanimate objects that my fingers hurt and the muscles in my arms began quivering from holding my fucking iPhone for so long. If I hadn't known that unintentionally being a social whore was part of him, I would've been pretty pissed off and probably a bit jealous too, but he was way too happy for me to bother with negative feelings.

It came to a point where people started coming to him instead of the other way around, because his energy was that strong. Girls who were working in maid suits, promoting their coffee shops approached him eagerly and invited him in.

I'm sure that, had I allowed it, we would've probably been able to eat for free in more than a couple of places.

However, it was when we came across a large street poster of me that things got a little wild. The poster was one of me promoting an upcoming brand of clothing by a new young stylist, and I had done the photo shoot for it a few months previously.

Even though I liked modelling, I wasn't particularly fond of seeing myself in pictures, least of all when they were huge and hanging off the wall of a tall building to be easily caught by the eye.

Naruto was so fascinated that he demanded me to take pictures of the damned thing with him in it, but finding a good angle was fucking hard as hell. Once I managed to do that, he wanted to take a picture of it with _me_ in it, which proved to be a bad, bad idea, because he kept on throwing teasing remarks at me and speaking in his loud voice, which quickly attracted people's attention. Of course, passers-by would have to notice that I was the guy from the damned poster, and soon enough, we were assaulted by tourists and people wanting to take pictures with me, most of them probably thinking that I was someone really famous. Some, however – mostly girls our age – knew me from other catalogue works I had done, and others, unavoidably, knew me for being the famous Uchiha Itachi's brother.

I usually managed to walk around Tokyo without being noticed, and I wasn't usually approached by people all that often, but with Naruto being so eccentric about it, and with me looking like I was advertising myself, of course it couldn't be helped.

And he was thrilled, to say the least. It took us almost half an hour to get rid of the curious people around us.

It was weird, because no matter how annoyed I was by what had just happened, Naruto's high spirits effectively stopped my mood from souring.

We were both famished by then, so we decided to look for somewhere relatively calm to eat, and ended up finding a small, typical but cosy restaurant hidden in an alley. There were no tables, so we had to eat at the counter, sitting side by side on high stools, which was fine since we could see the food being prepared in front of us. Faithful to himself, Naruto took the chance to make conversation with the employees, effectively earning us a few free samples of food before lunch. They didn't ask for our IDs, so we ordered beer.

Naruto was considerably more himself by then, seemingly more up for contact, and we ended up feeding each other and playfully sharing our food, unmindful of whatever it was that people around us might think. I noticed we got a few looks from the customers around us, but that was all there was to it.

In spite of everything, I was having a good time, and knew that he was, too.

"You're hot," Naruto said after his third beer, already having emptied his (probably) hundredth plate of food, one hand over my thigh as he grinned broadly at me, his free hand holding a cigarette with his elbow over the counter. "I mean, seriously, why do you have to be so hot? First the photo shoot, then the fucking poster. And, have I mentioned that you look pretty good today? 'Cause you really do."

"Thanks, I suppose," I replied, smirking a bit before lighting my own cigarette and placing my hand over his after setting down the lighter. "Someone's awfully flirty after a whole morning of being twitchy."

"Yeah, you've just given me the awesomest day ever," he said, blushing ever so slightly.

"Is 'awesomest' even a word?" I joked, chuckling and caressing the back of his hand slowly, causing him to laugh, as well.

"Probably not, but who cares?"

I took a drag in my cigarette, expelling the smoke casually. "Anyway, this was not part of what I had planned for your birthday present at all, so trust me, there's more to come," I assured him, offering him a mysterious lopsided smile.

"Oh, no, I doubt you can possibly come up with something cooler than this," Naruto said, shaking his head from side to side in mirth. "This place is absolute heaven."

"We'll see," I retorted mysteriously.

Our plates were removed, two tiny ceramic cups and a bottle of sake replacing them. The middle-aged owner of the restaurant was clearly amused by us for some reason, probably finding it funny to see two brats acting like grown-ups.

I let my cigarette dangle from my lips and took on the task of pouring the beverage into both our cups, Naruto's eyes very intense as they watched my every move attentively. His hand tightened on my thigh, tense, almost as if he was trying to say something but was refraining from doing so.

I quirked one eyebrow up at him, my body tingling gently in an automatic reaction to that stare, and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't look at me like that," I said. "What is it? You're making me uncomfortable."

"I don't know," he admitted, heaving a sigh. "I'm just having these weird, conflicting feelings about you right now. I really want to touch you and stuff, but damn, you're killing me."

"Don't tell me you're horny," I said, voicing my suspicions on his behaviour. Thankfully, the restaurant was packed and noisy with the costumers' chatter and the sound of food being fried, so it wasn't like it was easy for others to catch up on our conversation.

His face turned beet red. "It's your fault," he accused, with a small pout, and I laughed. "I can't help it after last night's talk. I'm not used to not having things ASAP. I really, really want to do it right with you, but you keep teasing me all the fucking time, and you are very attractive so it's becoming very hard for me to... you know... be indifferent."

"Who says I'm teasing?" I said in a low voice before inhaling slowly from my cigarette. "Maybe I do want to catch your attention."

I watched his features for a while with narrowed eyes, and he looked away, surprised and suddenly shy, promptly flicking the ashes of his own cigarette on the ashtray between us.

"Don't be stupid, I already told you things aren't that simple," he mumbled, swallowing hard, his hand very still on my thigh now as he frowned at the back of one of the cooks behind the counter. "If you were to freak out on me, I would never forgive myself, so I kind of prefer to keep my distance, you know? Holding back is just me preparing myself to wait for you to make a move. If you make the move, I'll know that you're ready for something else."

I almost felt like laughing at him. I mean, I knew where he was coming from; I had never been with a guy in my life, and he was scared that a more intimate experience might scare me away, or overwhelm me, but that's not how I felt at all. Yes, I was aware of the things that two men could do together and yes, it was all theory, but the prospect didn't scare me. I had meant it the previous night when I had said that I fantasized about us. I wasn't a virgin, I did like sex, and all kind of sexual activities, and by all means, after four weeks, I was more than comfortable with his body to feel open – and eager – to try new things with him.

The chemistry we shared was something a bit new to me, I can't deny that. He attracted me in ways that intimidated me, but at the same time, I knew it was because I felt that way that it would all be fine. I couldn't claim to be completely ready for real sex – I still had to figure out my own perspective on it, about what I might and might not be up for, what I wanted – but the lack of more intimate contact was driving me nuts, too. At seventeen years old, I did have my own needs.

I snorted softly, supporting my cheek in my closed fist and eyeing him thoughtfully.

"You know, I'm getting impatient, too," I said, quietly, but knowing that he would listen. "But I agree that forcing things is not going to help either of us. However, if I tease you, as you pointed out, is because it makes me feel good that you react to me. Knowing that I turn you on turns _me_ on, and this creates a strong sense of chemistry and intimacy between us that I enjoy. It's something that makes me want to get closer to you, and I think I need that. We both need that tension to get to another level."

He pursed his lips together and turned his face to look at me again, seriously. "Yeah, I know we do," he agreed, huffing. "But it's just… I hate myself for feeling frustrated, and I don't want to just get carried away if you're not in the right mood or something like that. I want that intensity to be mutual."

"It is mutual," I affirmed softly, placing my hand over his again and leaning in slightly until my lips were brushing his cheek, feeling him tense at the contact. "But if you keep running away from me, you'll just make me angry instead of horny." I closed my hand around his and smirked at the way his breathing quickened. "It's your birthday, Naruto, and this is the only chance we've gotten so far to be a proper couple out in the open, so don't waste it. Besides, if the way I feel is any indication, I most certainly wouldn't stop you if you wished to molest me."

If his breathing had been quick before, when he felt my hand directing his to my groin, he literally stopped breathing, his sapphire eyes huge as he watched the action, looking simultaneously mesmerized and in panic.

I have to admit that being so suddenly bold made me a little nervous in spite of my apparent confidence. I had never been this aggressive with girls. The actions were taking place under the counter, hidden from curious eyes, but still. I had wanted him to touch me for a while, but that wasn't exactly how I had envisioned it. It was still pretty fucking arousing, especially because we were surrounded by oblivious people.

"Shit, Sasuke, what are you doing?!" Naruto whispered under his breath so as to not be heard, sounding horrified even though his voice was shaking.

I didn't bother to reply, instead kissing his cheek lightly again and taking advantage of the lack of struggle on his part to direct his hand exactly to where I wanted it. My own heart was beating quite frantically by then, but when his shaky palm connected with the rather shameless bulge in my pants, I had to bite my lip not to moan at how good the simple contact felt, and at his poorly disguised hiss.

"Holy shit," he said in my ear, swallowing hard over and over again, not daring to move his hand on his own accord. "You're hard!"

"No shit, Sherlock," I teased, licking his cheek discreetly.

The magic was broken when we were violently startled by one of the cooks slamming a bowl in front of the customer sitting on Naruto's right side, both of us straightening up at once, Naruto snatching his own hand away to put it between his own legs securely.

A little frustrated by the sudden call to reality, I felt my own cheeks catch fire at how upset my body felt at the absence of contact.

I just had Naruto's hand in my private parts, and _I_ put it there. More than that, it had felt good, and I was fine with it.

I had a strong urge to head back home and just have my wicked way with Naruto there because, seriously, his frustration was frustrating, and my own need was starting to turn into something ridiculous and hard to control.

But we still had stuff to do, and I wasn't going to lose my composure just like that. Whenever he and I did something, it had to be remotely special, and I was sure that, when the moment arrived – the right moment – we would both know.

Hopefully the moment wouldn't last too long to come.

"You're seriously crazy," Naruto said in an almost angry but still conspicuous tone, smashing his cigarette on the ashtray with shaky fingers. "I can't even begin to describe how much that turned me on, and I really, _really_ hate you for that right now, because I had a hard time getting my fucking dick under control throughout the entire morning!"

I cleared my throat, rubbing my face with one hand before chuckling and looking at him. He was frowning at me in an almost childish way, blushing horribly but looking more amazed than actually mad. I put out my cigarette as well and picked up my tiny cup of sake, raising it in front of him, who picked up his own and raised it as well.

"I say we don't make a toast to anything in particular," I suggested, in a calm demeanour that didn't match my internal turmoil. "Whatever happens, happens, right?"

I smiled at him, and for some reason, his features relaxed and he ended up smiling as well. "You're such a damned bastard, getting away with shit so easily," he muttered, in awe. "But even though we've known each other for so long, you can still amaze me."

"I was just trying to get the message across," I explained simply. "Maybe I should've sent an email, instead?"

He laughed. "Nope, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. You shocked the hell out of me, but that's probably what I like the most about you, so…"

"We may be on the experimental phase, but I'm just trying to let you see that my own mind is not as innocent and hesitant as you seem to think."

"I'm glad to hear that," he replied, nodding once in acknowledgement.

We made our cups clink in a meaningless toast and sipped the sake, all the while never leaving each other's eyes, all sorts of hidden words travelling back and forth between us.

"But my resolve still remains the same," Naruto said, puckering his lips. "I'm still waiting for you to make the big move."

I licked my lips, and the way Naruto licked his own in response did nothing to help diminish the arousal in me.

"Whatever you say, Naruto," I said, grabbing the bottle of sake and refilling our cups. "Let's finish this shit and keep moving. We still have a whole day ahead of us, and we should make the best out of it."

"I can't object to that," Naruto agreed, grinning. "Whatever happens, happens, right? With you, I'm really looking forward to it."

000

We did finish that bottle of sake and ordered yet another glass of beer for each of us before heading out of the restaurant. We weren't exactly drunk, but I knew that I was grinning far too much and that Naruto had become considerably more confident about me, because he put his arm around my shoulders and didn't seem too keen on letting go, no matter how many times I told him that I was feeling too hot to be the target of that much physical contact.

Naruto hadn't really brought a lot of money along, since he hadn't exactly expected to go to a place where he'd want to spend money on useless stuff, so we checked out a few shops that sold second handed stuff. I found a few decent albums from bands I enjoyed, and he found some pretty rare merchandising of famous old manga. I wanted to pay for a few of his stuff since it was his birthday and I had yet to give him something, but he only agreed on it on the condition that I'd let him buy something for me as well, so he ended up getting me this really cool silver necklace with the Ying Yang symbol in black and red, which, according to him, looked absolutely amazing with my outfit. We also got a few souvenirs for his mom and for Kiba. By the time we were done with the shopping, his small shoulder bag was almost bursting with our stuff.

All of a sudden, he was very keen on taking pictures of me with his own mobile phone. It was probably because I was a bit tipsy that I actually posed for him, at his whims, and that fact mixed with the fact that I actually enjoyed having his focus on me for once, allowed me to let go of my inhibitions and make a fool out of myself. Every time Naruto asked me to stand by some anime poster, I would try to impersonate it or do some other thing as joke, and he'd laugh hard and cheer me on.

In an odd way that had nothing to do with my usual self, I did have a lot of fun.

We took a lot of pictures together, too; some normal, others goofier, and a few with us just fooling around, kissing or something similarly inappropriate.

When I look back at us on that day, I see that we were completely immersed in a sea of mutual euphoria.

After growing tired of shopping, pictures and anime, we decided to hit one of the many arcades – which were a lot bigger than the one we had in our hometown – since Naruto was feeling pretty energetic and clearly needing to blow off some steam. We established a budget for the occasion, decided on what we wanted to do, agreeing that whatever games we chose to play, we had to play them together.

We actually spent a couple of hours there, either competing against each other or simply playing side by side, depending on the game. We exchanged a lot of insults and threats in the middle of it, all in the name of good sportsmanship, and it was something I think we needed, because we had always been rivals in many things, trying to outdo the other, and somehow, not doing that as frequently as before was taking its toll on the both of us.

It was weird, really. There was a lot of chemistry going on between us, and that, mixed with our clashing personalities and that situation where we were both trying to adapt to something new in our lives created this constant, inescapable tension that didn't seem to go away no matter what. The bickering was a welcomed relief, almost sexual, only it was something actually more psychological that also helped to quell the physical part of it. Not much, but a bit.

Things like these were overwhelming but incredibly fascinating to me, and the main reason why I was so enticed by the notion of what Naruto and I were, and what we could become.

My expectations for us were very high, and on that particular day, I felt like there was no stopping me from getting what I wanted, and no stopping us from being who we wanted to be with each other.

Once we were both panting and tired enough, we headed for the washrooms to freshen up, both feeling considerably calmer and both in too much of a good mood. We ended up kissing a bit until someone interrupted us and we had to gather our things and leave, feeling a lot calmer and soberer than before.

Outside the sun was beginning to set and I couldn't help but smile. The day wasn't over yet.

"Are you ready for my real birthday present?" I asked him, as we calmly walked the streets of Akihabara, my arm around his shoulders this time.

"Are you serious?" he asked, genuinely surprised that there was still more, his own arm tightening around my waist.

"Oh yeah," I confirmed securely. "We should probably grab something to eat on the way there, though."

He sighed in an almost dreamy fashion and joined his temple with mine. "I don't think my heart can handle anymore."

000

Apparently, Naruto's heart could handle a lot more.

"Fuck, I fucking love you!" Naruto exclaimed, flashing me the brightest, happiest smile I've ever seen anyone wear. For a split second, I was taken aback by the choice of words in spite of knowing he didn't mean it as literally as it sounded. More than that, though, the intense honesty in that smile really filled my stomach with pleasant heat.

There was this hidden, almost suspicious place in the centre of city where night life was lively, that resembled an old but huge warehouse. It was a modest place, but the high walls, the ceiling and the floor were richly decorated with amazing graffiti art. There was a spacious stage across from the small, metallic entrance door, and on the left, a long bar painted in black could be seen.

It was a place where, every weekend, a selection of the best amateur bands used to play. On that Saturday, there was one particular band performing, and the posters hanging outside had been more than enough clue for Naruto, who had reversed back to his super excited self once more. No, scratch that – he was ecstatic.

I used to go there quite often since Itachi was a personal friend of the owner, which meant that all I had to do was make a phone call and both Naruto and I could get inside for free.

It was eight P.M, and the place was already packed with eccentric looking people – the concert was scheduled to start in about half an hour – intermittent, colourful lights creating a disco like atmosphere even though the music playing was more rock than anything else.

I dragged an absorbed Naruto to the bar, where I introduced him to Kyou, the young, _visual kei_ styled bartender with whom I used to chat whenever I went there. Naruto praised his grassy coloured hair so much that he ended up asking us if we wanted to leave our stuff in the storage room behind the counter. I knew him enough to trust him, so Naruto and I passed our belongings to him, only keeping our wallets and, of course, the cigarettes.

Kyou seemed a bit disgruntled when I introduced Naruto as my boyfriend, looking at me like his heart had been broken. I knew he was bisexual, of course – not that he was very good at hiding it – but I had never really had interest in guys in general, so I had always brushed off whatever innuendos he might throw my way.

Since we had been drinking a bit more at dinner, we decided to share a cool vodka with cola, Naruto insisting that he wanted to have a clear head for the show.

'Love is Dead' from D'Espairs Ray was playing in the speakers, a song both Naruto and I enjoyed. We remained by the counter, sharing our drink after having also shared a cigarette because that kind of exclusive intimacy seemed right.

"I mean, how did you even know I like 'Pein'?" Naruto was asking, voice loud so I could hear him over the loud music. "They're not even famous!"

"Yet," I said, smirking knowingly. "There was a time when I remembered you humming one of their songs, and you were doing it every fucking day. And you had one of their songs in your ringtone once, too."

"Yeah, but it was a live, crappy cam YouTube quality, so I replaced it," he said, flashing his white teeth at me. "There were people paying to get access, so why didn't we…"

"Naruto, the drummer, Shisui, is my cousin," I explained, rolling my eyes at him at his obliviousness. "He's Itachi's best friend, too, and he used to spend a few holidays at my place. Don't you remember him?"

He blinked at me in horror. "'Pein''s Shisui is _that_ Shisui?!" He inquired, perfectly shocked. "Fucking hell, I would've never have guessed! Really?!"

"Yeah, moron, really."

"That is so awesome!" Naruto claimed, excitedly. "I can't believe that we're actually going to see them live!"

"And if you behave, I might find a way to let you meet the whole band once the show is over." Naruto blinked at me. "I've seen them live way too many times," I admitted with a casual shrug, taking a sip of our drink. "I just thought you might enjoy the experience."

I passed the drink to him, and he took it, taking a sip, and I couldn't help but notice that he put his mouth exactly where I had put mine.

"You're such a good boyfriend, Sasuke," he said, reaching out to touch the necklace around my neck that he had bought for me and eyeing it almost fondly. "You spoil me too much."

"Don't get used to it; this is just because it's your birthday," I replied, making a face to fake disgust. "And also, to get in your pants, of course."

"Of course," he said, smiling and biting his lip in a way that was almost sensual, but in a purposefully innocent way. "Keep doing stuff like this and you might get lucky."

At that same moment, all the lights were dimmed and the public started to roar, many of the people surrounding us abandoning the bar to get closer to the stage even though there was already a massive sea of people there.

I didn't really have time to offer a proper reply, because Naruto grabbed my hand and started pulling me along with him as he made his way to the concentrated mob of people in front of the large stage, our drink carelessly left behind. The band was already on the stage, and immediately, they started to play. Naruto intertwined his fingers with mine, clutching them more firmly when we immersed ourselves in the crowd.

A little amused, I watched him easily snake through the people to get closer to the stage. I had no idea what kind of expression he was showing then, but guys and girls allowed him access almost automatically, and soon enough we found ourselves on the second row closest to the stage. Instead of trying to move to Naruto's side, I stayed behind him – after all, it was his birthday. Naruto threw an inquisitive look over his shoulder, but I just gave his hand a last squeeze and smiled encouragingly before letting it go. He smiled back and turned his face away from me to sink fully in the experience.

The colourful and intermittent lights created the kind of atmosphere compatible to the energetic rhythm of the song being played. Bodies jumped and danced around us, Naruto joining them excitedly with his hands up in the air as he quickly caught up with the lyrics. My smile remained on my face for a while before I sighed softly and looked up at the stage to see Yahiko, the lead singer, letting go of his guitar to take the microphone from it holder as the song reached a higher pitch. I loved music, I just wasn't the kind of person who enjoying losing myself in it and going wild or anything like that, so I just stood there, my head moving slightly to the ups and downs of the song.

Konan, the beautiful female guitarist stood on the charismatic Yahiko's left, while the quiet bassist Nagato stood on his right. Shisui was on the drums behind them, as efficient and as energetic as ever.

As typical Japanese politeness dictated, there was no one bumping aggressively against each other, no matter how close we all were or how much fun people around us were having. If someone did accidentally shove me or something of the sort, they would immediately apologize and I'd nod.

After that, two more upbeat songs were played, and I knew them all. I lit a cigarette for myself, watching Naruto's back as he danced enthusiastically and screamed the lyrics at the top of his lungs, his voice cracking clumsily, and he didn't seem to notice, or care, which I found highly hilarious. It was weird, but seeing him enjoying himself in such a carefree way made me feel very accomplished. I laughed out loud and he looked over his shoulder to stick his tongue out at me. His innate ability to just let go and be who he was, who he wanted to be was something very fascinating to watch.

I was close to him, but not close enough for our bodies to touch. I took a drag in the cigarette, eyes roaming over his bright hair that once in a while would reflect the colours of the lights above. I swallowed hard and tried to focus my attention on the people around me more out of boredom than anything else, catching a few pairs of eyes watching me with evident interest, but Ipromptly ignored them, not really noticing to which gender they belonged to. Then, as I looked around once more, I noticed that there were also eyes watching Naruto, which wasn't surprising since he was so obviously Japanese but had the hair and eye colour of a foreigner. One might say that his attractiveness resided in how unusual he looked, not to mention that his joyful energy was contagious and could be felt from a mile away.

I swallowed hard, looking down at Naruto's ass for some reason, a sense of pride and something else I couldn't quite identify filling my stomach. That was a nice-looking ass. I had the urge to feel it, but refrained from doing so.

My eyes roamed back up and, without really thinking about what I was doing, I brought my cigarette to my lips and took yet another drag as my left free hand reached out to run my fingers through the soft hair in the back of Naruto's head, caressing it slowly. I felt him tense ever so slightly, his body stilling for a few seconds before his head leaned back against my touch, as if relishing in it. Not as effusively as before, he kept on dancing and I smirked, expelling the smoke. After a while, I made to remove my hand but he reached behind him to grab it and place it on his right shoulder, planting a small kiss on my fingers. I rolled my eyes at the gesture, but massaged the shoulder all the same.

The song came to an end. People around us cheered and howled while Naruto whistled fantastically. Nagato was playing an improvised tune on his base while Yahiko offered a few words to the crowd.

Then, the lead singer started the first notes of an all too familiar song in his guitar, and the crowd erupted in noise at first before quieting down a bit. My heart skipped a beat, because no matter how many times I heard those same notes, no matter who sang them, the feelings that assaulted me were all the same. Naruto turned to me, then, his abnormally bright eyes narrowed at me in recognition – he knew that that was my favourite song from Dir en Grey: Glass Skin.

I smirked.

"What can I say, they always play it when they know I'm here," I explained, as I extended my half-smoked cigarette to him and he accepted it, taking a drag without taking his eyes off me. I just stared back. He expelled the smoke slowly, tilting his chin up so that it didn't hit my face before licking his lips contemplatively. He then let the cigarette fall to the ground and crushed it with the sole of his foot before closing the tiny distance separating us and wrapping his arms around my neck.

"This is such a sad song," he leaned in to whisper in my ear. "But it fits you just right, for some reason."

"What, do you think my personality fits the darkness in their lyrics?" I asked in an equal murmur, automatically surrounding his waist with my own arms and pulling him close.

"I don't know," he said, chuckling a bit. "You have a bright soul, but I do like that unconcealed darkness about you."

My heart started beating immensely fast at that.

I felt him kissing the spot just under my ear softly. He buried his nose in the junction between my neck and shoulder, feeling him inhale sharply in an inhibited act of need that made my throat run dry as I realized he was sniffing me. Naruto then sighed heavily, hot breath moistening my skin. Hesitation seemed to freeze him for a moment, but he recovered soon, parting his lips to trail wet open-mouthed kisses up my neck.

I swallowed hard again, goosebumps making me shiver. My hands gripped his t-shirt as a few sparks of electricity travelled up my body. I was struck by the strong need to feel him, even though I wasn't sure of how, exactly, I could accomplish that, because I was used to being very rational, very conscious with my previous lovers, but with him, it seemed like my impulsive side was the one to take over, and that unknown territory was both scary and exciting. I knew I wanted to do _something_ , but didn't really know what.

Naruto reached my ear again, his arms tightening to bring us closer together.

He heaved an almost childish sigh that was also very personal, and I couldn't help but smile a bit. I could feel him hardening against my own forming erection, the feeling something very special and very stimulating.

Without really thinking, I turned my face so I could nibble on his jaw, receiving a sensuous lick to my ear lobe in response.

He pulled away only enough for us to be able to look at each other. His eyes scanned my features intensely and then landed on my mouth. He bit down on his lower lip, hands rubbing the nape of my neck teasingly, possessively. There was a predatory gleam in his eyes that made my breath catch in my throat, and I couldn't speak just then, even if I had wanted to. My body officially decided that it was feeling very attracted to Naruto's in that particular moment.

"What?" I asked, lowly, once my brain decided to function again and register that it liked the look Naruto was giving me.

"I don't know," he admitted, leaning in until his mouth was brushing mine, not really a kiss, but a feathered like touch. "All I know is that you look really good."

I opened my own mouth a bit in a silent invitation and felt his tongue running over my upper lip first, tentatively, before inviting itself in. I let out a soft moan of encouragement before closing my lips around the tongue and sucking on it before parting them again for a real kiss. I felt his hands tremble almost imperceptibly over the skin of my neck as he intensified the kiss, exploring my mouth languidly, and I let him, my tongue flicking out to meet his and tasting the sweetness that was him and the tingling bitterness of the tobacco smoke. My body seemed to be moving on its own, because I didn't notice that my hands had moved to sneak underneath his t-shirt until I felt the warm firmness of the skin of Naruto's lower back.

He moaned into the kiss as well, the sound distant in my ears, nails scraping the back of my neck as he pressed himself more against me, making me stumble a bit and collide with the person behind me, but I didn't really care about it, honestly more concerned about the heat coiling inside of me, quickly spreading southwards, and the chills of pleasure running up and down my body.

God, I wanted to touch more of him. So, I did, running my hands up his back and feeling his muscles shift receptively under my fingertips.

The loud sound of clapping and howling alerted me that the song had ended, immediately being followed by another slower, calmer one, played in an acoustic guitar.

Naruto broke the kiss, touching his forehead to mine and swallowing hard. I opened my eyes to see that his were still closed.

"Fucking hell," he murmured in a sigh. "I love this fucking song."

I chuckled mysteriously, flicking my tongue playfully over the tip of his nose. "I know."

'Give me Love' from Ed Sheeran was one of the songs that I had heard Naruto hum for the last couple of weeks, so I had courteously asked 'Pein' to perform it, which was good since it was one of Konan's favourites.

Naruto's eyes fluttered opened and he leaned away enough to look at me unblinkingly. There was gratefulness there, awe, too, and also something very deep, very intense.

All I knew was that he was looking at me with such openness, raw desperation and need that my very soul shook with how intensely his own lust affected my own. My hormones were all over the place. The day had been great so far, filled with emotions and revelations, and even though we had spoken about so many things, there were other things that had obviously been left out.

I swallowed hard, finding the simple act of breathing incredibly hard to execute at that moment. I had to do something. No, more than that I wanted, _needed_ desperately to do something to answer to that silent calling in Naruto's eyes, but more importantly – and probably what really mattered to the both of us – I needed to answer to my own calling.

There must have been something on my face, because Naruto's eyes brightened up hopefully all of a sudden, and his lips shook slightly when he spoke. "I don't… we don't really… we can skip this one song if…" That was all I needed to make up my mind, Naruto's words triggering my reaction.

"We're done here, then," I said, my voice steadier and more composed than I felt.

He nodded and I pecked his mouth shortly before letting go of him and grabbing his wrist. Pulling him along, just like he had done not even an hour previously, I quickly guided us through the crowd, anxious to get away from the dancing bodies. Once I successfully managed to do that, my mind began to work fast on where to go next. Making our way back home seemed like a great idea, but it would take too long, and Itachi might already be there. The bathroom seemed like the only option, but somehow the prospect of being in such a dirty, public place wasn't really appealing at all. My eyes caught a glimpse of the bar, where Kyou and a girl I hadn't seen before were very busy serving drinks, and then it clicked.

Resolutely, we walked over to it, and once there, I unceremoniously lifted the wooden board on the right side and kicked open the gate like, waist level thing that generally was supposed to stop people from trespassing. I shoved Naruto inside the bar before following him and arranging everything as it had been.

Kyou looked questioningly at us over his shoulder while he was making some sort of cocktail.

"We're just going to get our stuff," I said easily, still pushing Naruto towards the door behind the register machine, making Kyou frown and shake his head in exasperation, as if reading my mind.

"I'm not cleaning your fucking mess, Uchiha, just so you know," he warned, before focusing on his job once more. His co-worker winked at us, and Naruto opened the door quickly pulling me by the hem of my t-shirt.

I barely had time to close the door behind me when I was brutally slammed against it, Naruto's body pressing itself to mine as his mouth promptly attacked mine hungrily.

I only had half a mind to feel the door behind me to find the doorknob, but once I did, the task of turning the key in order to lock it was almost impossible from the angle of my hand and Naruto's relentless kissing, but I somehow managed to do it, my brain instantaneously turning to mush once I knew we were safe.

It was all a blurry mixture of hurried panting and eagerness from then on. The room was square and very small, completely dark apart from the red and green emergency light over the door, above us. The scarce illumination painted Naruto's skin in a weird, ethereal tone. I didn't really know what we were going to do, what _I_ was going to do, but following that amazing wave of instinct seemed far too good to let it go to waste.

We were kissing sloppily and urgently when I started unbuttoning my vest, Naruto clumsily trying to take his t-shirt off without breaking the contact, which was, obviously, impossible, which made him groan in frustration. I managed a choked chuckle against his lips as I let the vest slide from my arms, falling to the floor at my ankles. I then brought my hands to the hem of his t-shirt and finally pulled it up. He obediently raised his arms to allow the piece of fabric to be removed, but even before I could dispose of it, he was already pulling mine up before we threw both our t-shirts away carelessly and smashed our lips together once more.

My heart was pounding rather violently at that point, but when our naked chests came into contact, bare skin rubbing against bare skin, my mind exploded and my cock became painfully hard in a matter of seconds. My hands roamed down his back, feeling the firm muscles along it until they had moved lower without me noticing, to grab his ass firmly and press him against me, forcing our clothed erections to come into full contact, the feeling causing jolts of ecstasy to run up and down my spine. Naruto moaned, and not without a little bit of surprise, I realized that I really, really, _really_ wanted him.

I'm not sure how I managed to flip us over so that I was pressing _him_ against the door. His hands were all over me, on my shoulders, then feeling my chest, his fingertips brushing against my nipples teasingly before pinching them slightly, his teeth nibbling on my lips in that mess that was our absurd kissing.

Only now that we were thoroughly exploring each other so impulsively did I truly realize that being with a guy was so very different from being with a girl. His scent was stronger, the skin was rougher, his body was harder, and his touch was more aggressive. Still, it felt so unbelievably good, so right, because our frames fit together so perfectly, and I knew that I would never need to hold back or be gentle. Never mind that there were no curves, or breasts, or sweet touches. I didn't miss them. In fact, I wanted it just like that – rough, careless and possessive.

Naruto's hips pressed forward so that he was shamelessly rubbing himself against me, his actions a clear invitation for me to do whatever I wanted, even though, as usual, his own hands were careful not to be too inappropriate.

I shivered from head to toe. There was something amazing to be said of the feeling of another guy's cock pressing up against yours in such a clear display of arousal.

I broke the kiss, feeling the corners of my mouth too wet from all that exchange of saliva. I swallowed and promptly pressed my opened mouth to the curve of his neck, his blunt nails digging into my shoulders roughly, the small pain sending all sorts of pleasurable signals through my body.

I was acting on impulse alone, my mouth tracing wet patterns over his skin, making him twitch and gasp. My hands trailed over the sides of his body, and I moved my head lower until I found his right nipple. I stared at the pinkish bud as if I had never seen it before, noticing how tiny it was and how fragile it looked when compared to a girl's. I didn't waste any time in leaning in and kissing it, softly first, then parting my lips to let my tongue flick lightly over it before sucking on it. It was soft and responded almost immediately, hardening after a few licks. Naruto's face was buried in the top of my head when he whimpered, his hands now buried in my hair. My left hand was gripping is ass as my right one ran over the firm muscles of his abs, relishing in how absolutely sexy I found it.

I felt my hair being pulled as Naruto urged me up before we kissed again, his teeth scraping along my lower lip, arms going around my neck to pull me close, and I felt such a strong, rather overwhelming surge of affection and impeding need for him that I forgot how to think.

I had genuinely never felt so intensely for someone during any kind of physical interaction, and Naruto's own excitement, his positive, eager responses were everything I could've asked for.

There was no doubt in my mind of where I wanted us to go with all that. I turned my palm upwards, pressing it flat against his stomach and dragged it lower until my fingers were invading the hem of his jeans and inside his boxers. It didn't take long for me to feel the head of his cock, my fingertips coming into contact with the sticky, slippery pre-cum oozing from the tip. I had never touched another guy's private parts, but it felt amazing, anxiousness and exhilaration filling me as I moaned into his mouth.

Fuck, I really wanted to touch him.

My other hand worked hurriedly, albeit clumsily in unbuttoning his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers only enough to free his erection from its confines. I kept my mouth glued to Naruto's, feeling him tense, but I wouldn't let him protest, or say anything to stop me. His cock bobbled only slightly, slapping gently against my pants and marking them with a bit of the clear fluid, but I didn't care, quickly enveloping it with my hand and making Naruto release a guttural, almost wild grunt.

"Holy shit, Sasuke!" He hissed lowly through gritted teeth. "Ah, fuck..."

I was taken aback by the feel of him in my hand. He was of a respectable size, all hard and slightly pulsing, and already so slippery that it made my head spin. It made me feel powerful, in control, and horny like I had never felt in my entire life.

I stroked it a few times experimentally, filled with amazement at how natural it felt and how much I actually enjoyed having Naruto panting and shivering against me.

There was an odd desperation inside my chest, something so new to the point where it was terrifying. I needed to feel him, to have his hands on me, to make this as mutual as possible. Yes, it was his day, and yes, he had told me that I should take the initiative whenever I felt like I was ready, and I was. I just wanted him to stop being so damned hesitant towards me and give me what we both wanted once and for all.

I broke the kiss and buried my nose in the curve of his neck, lapping at the skin while stroking him at a faster pace now. He smelled of tobacco, simple cologne, and a bit of sweat. The intense musky scent of his fluids hovered in between us, and I was completely infatuated with how much my body seemed to enjoy all of it.

He smelled so good, and the sound of his voice in pleasure was seriously damaging my control.

"Naruto," I panted in a hurried whisper, pressing my chest to his more so that our upper bodies were glued together. "I'm going to fucking kill you if you don't touch me right now."

I felt him kiss my temple and inhale sharply, his hips bucking a bit to meet my strokes, and I thought him to be really sensual, but in a very manly way that I wasn't accustomed to. He bit on my ear roughly and then licked the shell of it slowly before blowing on it.

"You really are pushing all the right buttons, aren't you? You fucking tease."

I pulled away so that I could look into his bright, lust filled eyes, our breaths mingling between us. I barely remembered to blink, so enticed by him as I was, scanning his feature in the semi darkness. The way he was looking at me took my breath away. It was a look that said 'I want nothing more than to fuck you raw, right this instant', and even though I hadn't wrapped my mind around actual sex and bottoming or topping, just knowing that he felt so strongly for me just then almost made me come in my pants.

Knowing that touching him wasn't helping in getting him to move faster, I released his cock and without really thinking about it brought my index and middle fingers to my mouth to taste his fluid, my eyes never leaving his. His mouth was slightly opened, his breathing raged as I licked the transparent fluid, smirking when I noticed that, even though it tasted salty, the texture was pleasing in my tongue.

"Who's teasing?" I whispered back sensuously.

All I could process after that, was Naruto growling, and then he was all over me like a demon unleashed. There were hands all over my body, quickly, intensely, nails scratching my back viciously, causing me to yelp as a wave of pleasure and pain coursed through me. I had no idea that being rough could have that kind of meaning, but I liked it, even if my skin ached and tingled with the burning feeling. There was his saliva everywhere on me, but it felt good to be attacked like that. Next thing I knew, he was grabbing my ass possessively, teeth all over my chest, offering hard bites wherever they could, then biting down on one nipple, forcing it to harden, then doing the same on the other. Then, there was his open mouth sucking on my abs harshly in a way that I was sure would leave a mark, and all the while he kept going lower and lower until his knees hit the floor.

"You better not regret this," I heard him say in a ferocious gasp.

I was a panting mess of need by then, my legs shaking so badly I had to put both hands on the door in front of me to make sure I wouldn't collapse.

When his hand worked expertly on unbuckling my belt and pulling down my pants, a conscious part of me knew what was coming. My brain was oddly okay with it, and my body… well, it's not worth mentioning. I felt anxious, eager even, but expectant all the same.

My pants were pulled down slightly, but my boxers were still covering my erection. Naruto was attractive, good-looking but by looking at him, considering the way he sometimes looked so silly and goofy, no one would ever say that he was so straightforward in these sorts of things – and that was one of the many things about him that I liked, especially because certain sides of him were exclusive to me. I didn't expect him to go shy on me at that particular moment, and he didn't disappoint.

His fingers from both hands invaded the hem of my boxers as he mouthed my erection through the fabric, kissing along the lines of my cock for a while. I couldn't help a stupid kind of shaky laughter at that, mostly because I was feeling pretty thrilled and horrified at myself for it. He finally pulled both my pants and boxers all the way down to my knees, and wasted no time in getting to work. I felt his tongue trailing the path of my cock slowly, licking the skin from the base to the head before sucking slightly on the soft foreskin.

Only then I took notice of how wet _I_ was.

My body shook in anticipation. When he lapped carefully at the peaking head, tasting the pre-cum coming from the tiny slit, an undignified moan escaped me, my right hand burying itself in his hair, urging him on, but he moved away slightly. His fingers wrapped around me and he stroked me as his mouth trailed kisses all over my thighs before finally taking me into his mouth.

I wasn't new to the whole blow job thing, but I certainly was new to the assertive, confident way the action was being performed on me.

There was no hesitance in Naruto; he knew what he was doing, sucking ever so slightly as his mouth adapted to my cock and slid over it easily, his tongue applying just the right amount of pressure, his hand at the base of it, teasing just the right spots. It felt more amazing that I had ever imaged.

"Ahhh, fuck," I hissed, looking down at him with narrowed eyes. "Fuck, yeah…"

The view was something to behold, something I had never contemplated before. Naruto lacked the typical shyness of girls, and his confidence was incredibly sexy, not to mention that, for once, he knew it was the right time to keep his mouth shut and busy with other more interesting activities.

His free hand was roaming possessively up and down my chest, palm flat and fingers spread wide, his touch seeming to burn over my skin.

Of course, no one could be completely composed during any kind of sexual activities, but the light headed feeling I was having, that dizziness provided by lust was just something I wasn't used to.

His tongue was making circular movements around my cock, and I'm really not sure how I managed to kiss his knuckles eagerly before opening my mouth to accept his fingers inside and sucking hard on them, the saltiness causing shivers to run down my spine as Naruto moaned in a very indecent way around me.

His fingers left my mouth, not without a groaning complaint from me, to move down and grab for one of my ass cheeks, squeezing it just right before sinking his nails in the flesh, the roughness of it sending all sorts of not too decent signals to my brain.

A whole day of holding back and being subjected to the hormonal intensity of that strong tension between us had the expected results on my over sensitized body. It was little over a month since the last time I had been that intimate with someone – namely Sakura – but how I felt at that time seemed savourless compared to the electricity shared between Naruto and I just then.

My muscles were beginning to tense, my heart running wild as a familiar tingling feeling washed over me with the warnings of an imminent orgasm.

I didn't trust my voice, so I tugged harshly at Naruto's hair to let him know that I was close. I have no idea if he got the message or not, because he pulled away, my cock sliding out of his mouth with a wet suckling sound and he started to pump it with his hand at a fast and secure rhythm this time. His eyes rolled up to look at me, but I closed mine, inhaling deeply. He was offering small, teasing licks to the tip of my cock once in a while, and it didn't take long for me to lose myself, because before I could even think about what was happening to me, all that pent-up need and accumulated pleasure was erupting out of me and I came, teeth sinking in my lower lip to stop myself from voicing my ecstasy out loud, my chin joining my chest and my hips instinctively thrusting against Naruto's palm for added friction.

Once it was over, the world was still spinning out of control and every fibre of my being was shaking from the sheer powerfulness of it.

I blinked my blurry eyes open to look down, only to see that there was a considerable amount of cum on Naruto's face, adorning his cheeks and actually dribbling down his jaw and dripping slimily to his chest. He was panting, still holding my cock in his hand, looking taken aback but not exactly disgusted. I could see his own, still firmly hard cock peeking from between his thighs.

I stopped breathing, my eyes becoming huge because the sight was hot.

There was still a lot of adrenaline running through my veins. I was desperately clinging to it by the time I pulled at his hair, forcing him to stand so we could be face to face once again.

His mouth was partially open, a bit of cum resting on the corner of it, and I stared at it with unavoidable fascination before letting my eyes roam up to meet his own questioning, desperate ones. There was fear there, hope, and so much desire that it made my chest swell with all sorts of unknown emotions.

By the time I slammed my mouth against his, I wasn't really thinking yet. He tasted differently than usual, and unavoidably, the cum ended up getting mixed up in that violent fight our tongues seemed to have engaged in. It was amazing in a distorted kind of way.

I wanted him to cum, too, and I wanted it badly.

Moving on instinct along, I grabbed his shoulders and turned him around roughly so that _he_ was facing the door this time, his hands slamming loudly against it as he braced himself. I pressed my chest to his back, my still half hard cock meeting the crack between his ass cheeks, my left hand running possessively through his chest, unintentionally (or not) smearing the cum all over it, my right one going down to wrap around his cock.

The position wasn't premeditated, my rational mind having somehow come to the conclusion that that angle was probably the safest to jerk him off from, and more familiar for me.

If he was even just a bit excited as I had been (and still was), he was probably close, so I started stroking him quickly, a bit awkwardly because, even though the angle was familiar, I wasn't aware of how he liked it, how he was feeling. It was all guessing and primal instinct, my thumb brushing over the leaking slit of the head occasionally.

I was aware that I was gasping in his ear from the sheer exhilaration that I felt from doing something so new. A part of me wondered if my quick breathing turned him on.

He was moaning lowly, panting and twitching slightly. Once in a while he'd try to call out my name but never managed to fully pronounce it.

I trailed kisses all over his shoulder blades, licking at the saltiness in his skin, my fingers of the other hand pinching and rubbing one of his nipples.

It didn't take long, really. Little over a minute had passed, I assumed, and already I felt his cock swelling strongly in my hand before starting to pulse intensely. I sunk my teeth on his shoulder, Naruto letting out an almost agonized whimper before ejaculating, cum dirtying my hand and probably hitting the door and the floor as I pumped him erratically to the very end.

Once it was over, we were both very still. Naruto's forehead was resting on the surface of the door. We were shaking a bit as the noisy sound of our quick breathings filled the small place over the muffled noise of music coming from the outside.

I rested my cheek in the back of his neck with my eyes closed for a while, trying to clear my head and pull myself together, Naruto's cock slowly softening in my hand.

When I managed to come down from that blissful high, I was feeling really good, and more than satiated.

I opened my eyes lazily and looked around, noticing the tall metallic shelves beside us filled with all sorts of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, fruits and – oh, how convenient – napkins. I released Naruto carefully and reached out for the still closed pack with my cleanest hand. The pack was difficult to open when the other hand was smeared in cum, but I somehow managed to do it and pull out a few paper napkins. I cleaned my hands first, just as Naruto was turning around to lean against the door. His blue eyes seemed to have an electric tone to them as they looked at me in a daze. I felt myself blushing stupidly because of it.

I took out a few more napkins, gave him a few, and promptly moved closer again to start cleaning the cum in his face with gentle gestures. He lazily wiped his hands clean, his eyes never leaving mine. We remained in comfortable, peaceful silence for a few seconds before he broke it with an amused chuckle.

"We did it," he whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. "I can't believe we actually took it this far."

I offered him a small smile, running the napkin over his jaw and neck as he cleaned his torso. "You should believe it, because I'm definitely not going through the awkward part again," I joked easily, but making sure my voice was firm enough for him to know that I was also being serious.

"You kissed me even though my face was full of cum," he pointed out.

"I did."

"And you touched my cock."

"Also, true."

He smiled, looking sheepish and a little hesitant now. "How are you feeling?"

"Normal," I replied, taking a step back to inspect his face and make sure it had been decently cleaned. "Good. Relieved."

He shifted awkwardly. "Did you… like it?"

I raised one eyebrow at him, my mouth opening at the absurdity of the question after what we had just done.

I genuinely thought that my reaction had proven exactly just how much I had enjoyed it.

"You should know the answer to that already," I mumbled. "It was pretty good, I'll give you that."

I took the napkins from his hands and joined them with mine, making a paper ball out of them and placing it on the floor, mentally reminding myself that it would be a good idea to clean up the place before leaving since there was probably a mess of cum on the floor and on the door. I just hoped that there was no cum on the clothes we had dropped.

I pulled my pants and underwear up, him copying me.

"You know," Naruto sighed contently, scanning my features attentively. "I'm just… you're so… why are you like this?"

"Like what?" I inquired, buckling up my belt.

"I don't know," he replied. "I thought I knew you after all these years of us being friends, and yet, you just keep on doing these really surprising things and I… I don't know what to do with myself."

"I surprise myself, too," I mumbled, feeling a bit embarrassed at the sudden mushy topic. "And, if I do manage to get out of my comfort zone so confidently, it's because you let me, because _you_ make me want to."

"Is that so? Because you are seriously becoming by ideal dating person," he admitted, his voice dropping to a whisper. His eyes fell to his crotch as he buttoned up his jeans. "You have just given me the coolest day of my life. It's not fair, Sasuke, I might just fall for you really hard."

My heart jumped in a painful, but not so uncomfortable way because, somehow, I kind of felt the same way.

"Don't be so self-centred about it, silly, this is supposed to be about the two of us."

"And is it?" he asked curiously, his lips forming a small but hopeful pout.

"Yeah," I said firmly. "It is."

"Are you happy, too? About this? About us?"

"Naruto," I said, moving closer once more to put my right hand over his cheek, staring straight into his eyes. "I'm glad I gave us a try. I don't regret it for a second, and I definitely wouldn't want any of this to be any different."

Naruto breathed in deeply, then, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to my palm. "Good. That's just… really good, Sasuke."

I let him pull me close and surround my waist with his arms. Then, we hugged, his chin on my shoulder, his face buried in my neck. I knew we had to get out of there; Kyou or the girl would need something from that storage room soon enough.

I wanted to go home, to get in bed and just talk to Naruto and relish in the after feel of what had just happened to us.

But that small gesture felt so good, so right just then that I couldn't move away from it. I wasn't one for cuddling, and generally I hated after sex mushiness, but that felt weirdly perfect, suiting. We had just broken down the strongest wall between us – the wall that divided him from me – putting our doubts, fears and convictions to the test. I had been eager to tear that wall down, but at the same time, I knew that if things hadn't worked out, our current relationship would take violent turn.

But they had worked out, and it had been fucking amazing. There were no more walls between us now it was just a matter of moving forward, one step at the time.

And I was really eager to see it happen.

TBC...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap for today! Three more chapters tomorrow!
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and please let me know what you're thinking of this story so far ;)
> 
> See you guys tomorroow!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support guys!
> 
> This chapter has been betaed by the lovely loveandallthat forever ago, and edited by me.
> 
> The song at the end is called 'Broken Wings' by Flyleaf. Do listen to it, because it's really beautiful in a simple way.
> 
> WARNINGS: A bit of Itachi/Sasuke at the end of the chapter. Read at your own risk!
> 
> ENJOY!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Ten**

_Naruto's POV_

Later that night, after taking a quick shower, I found myself sitting with my legs pulled to my chest on the armchair near the window in Sasuke's bedroom as I stared at my cell phone with a frown. I was already in my boxers and a t-shirt, ready for bed.

Itachi hadn't gotten home yet, but the prospect that he might arrive any minute discouraged both Sasuke and me from showering together, even though the idea was very appealing.

I was pondering on calling Kiba – since it wasn't that late – to finally have that much-needed talk with him. In a way, I really wanted to get it off my chest and tell him about me and Sasuke, but I wasn't sure if I was able to deal with my best friend's reaction if it wasn't good. I was expecting him to freak out completely, but on the other hand, I hoped that Kiba's often concealed maturity would prevail to the point where he could be more rational than impulsive.

I had initially thought that I wanted to tell him face to face, but then again, it scared me that he might behave like an asshole again. Kiba was my best friend; I trusted him with my life and, as a comrade, there was no one in the world with whom I empathized more.

I hugged my knees, my thumb hovering over the green button, and all I had to do was press it, but for some reason, I found myself hesitating. What exactly was I supposed to tell him? How was I supposed to approach the subject?

It wasn't like I was afraid to talk to him; it was just that I wanted his support, but he might not give it, and even though it wouldn't be something that I would let affect our friendship, I honestly hoped that I wouldn't have to go through it. Sasuke and Kiba were important to me, but they both had the same priority now, only on different levels and for different reasons. It would be painful for me if somehow something ruined the dynamics I was longing for. Just like Sasuke had needed an accomplice, so did I, and I wanted it to be Kiba; not to mention that I was actually feeling like shit for hiding such an important fact of my life from him.

The sound of the bedroom door creaking open made me look up to see Sasuke coming in, before closing the door behind him. He was naked safe for a blue towel wrapped around his waist, his skin still moist from the quick shower, his hair wet. He didn't really look at me, heading for his wardrobe and opening it. When he removed the towel from his waist and used it to dry his hair, my mind effectively decided that thinking about Kiba could wait a few more minutes as my eyes eagerly trailed over his naked form and the curve of a very well-defined ass.

Once he had dried his hair enough, he swung the towel over his right shoulder and rummaged through the wardrobe in search of something to wear to bed.

I couldn't help but still be amazed at how damned hot he looked in the nude. It was the stupidest thing, because I had seen him naked so many times before throughout the years, and yet, it was like he was a whole new person now, a welcomed gift for my curious eyes.

I could spot a few red marks on his shoulders and in the curve of his neck, and it amazed me that he also had a few scratches along his shoulder blades, clearly my doing. The reddish slashes were a stunning contrast to that ivory skin of his.

Remembering what we had done a couple hours previously made my cheeks catch fire and my heart flutter happily as all the blood in my body seemed to travel southwards.

I wondered if I had marks like those, as well.

_Fuck, I hope so, 'cause they look fucking hot._

I had been so lost in a dream-like state that I hadn't even looked at myself in the mirror yet.

"Stop staring at my ass, Naruto," Sasuke muttered absently with his back to me before putting on a pair of dark blue boxers.

I grinned at his perception of my acute attention. "It is a fine ass, babe." The look he threw me over his shoulder made me laugh out loud.

"Call me something like that again and you'll never get to look at it again," he threatened with a disgusted snarl before fishing out a white t shirt and putting it on as well. "Just because we are now officially intimate doesn't mean you have my permission to be repulsive."

"Aw, but why?" I whined, faking a hurt pout as he turned to me with an eyebrow quirked up. "We should _so_ call each other cute names! Most couples do, you know. Like honey, baby, cutie pie, love…"

Sasuke effectively managed to silence me by grabbing a pillow from the wardrobe and throwing it to my face, hitting it accurately. I laughed again and hugged said pillow to my chest.

"Don't look so murderous, Sasuke," I teased, rocking my body a bit. "Don't tell me you never called your previous girlfriends by any cute names."

"No, I didn't," Sasuke stated, as if the thought itself was atrocious, taking out the other pillow and closing the wardrobe door.

"Dude, I'm pretty surprised none of your girlfriends broke up with _you_ ," I said, amused. "You're a hard stone to crack, and pretty much different from, well, any guy, really. But then again, you can be a good boyfriend in your own, very Sasuke-ish way."

When he turned around and headed towards the bed, his features had relaxed a bit. "Men aren't as romantic as women, no matter how much they like to make them believe they are."

"Nah, they _are_ romantic, they just show it differently, I suppose," I said, thoughtfully. "But yeah, I guess men and women tend to go with that traditional notion of 'romance'."

"And it's because it's so typical that I hate it," Sasuke retorted, pushing the bed covers back and adjusting the pillow on his side before looking up at me. "Were you talking to someone?" He then inquired, noticing the mobile phone in my hand.

I threw the pillow back to him, and he caught it easily and placed it beside his on the bed. "I was debating on calling Kiba. You know, to tell him about us."

"Debating?" Sasuke frowned. "Since when do you have to debate on whether you call your best friend or not?"

"Since he was a jerk," I replied, shrugging. "I haven't spoken to him since Wednesday because he was a complete asshole to me when I told him I had a crush on you."

The eye roll Sasuke gave me was expected. "That was a very sensible thing to say to him out of the blue, dumbass."

"He asked for it!" I defended myself. "He just kept teasing me that you and me were spending a lot of time together and that I had a crush on you and blah blah, so I straight out told him that I do have a crush on you, and… well, his reaction wasn't good, which is stupid, considering he was already accusing me, right?"

Sasuke heaved a sigh. "Inuzuka is just overly excited, like a puppy," he replied seriously, running a hand through his hair. "He pokes you until you can't take it anymore and then gets offended when you poke him back. But he's your best friend, and if you want to tell him, you should just do it. It's been almost a month, and he's going to be pissed either way."

"I know," I nodded. "I mean, I'm ready for that, but it's better if I break the news to him through the phone and let him vent as much as he wants until I really talk to him face to face, no? I can't stay calm and keep it cool if he's all worked up, it won't work." I scratched the back of my head vigorously. "It's the only con of our friendship, really. When we're both pissed, neither of us can be mature and balance things."

"It'll be fine," Sasuke assured, his lips curving in a ghost of a smile. "He pretends to be limited, but he's seen you go through all of your relationships with both girls and guys, so how bad could it get? If he's an idiot, I'll talk to him. Although I have a feeling that he's going to want to have a word with me, anyway, and give me a piece of his mind with the usual 'hurt him and I'll break every bone in your body' threats."

"Gods, I hope he really does that," I said, grinning mischievously, making Sasuke's smile grow a bit.

"Just talk to him," he said simply, pushing the bed covers off him. "I'll give you some privacy."

"You don't have to leave!" I called out in surprise, just as he was heading for the door. "It's not like you can't listen to what I'll say to him."

"I'll go have a glass of water or something," he dismissed, waving his hand absently. "Take your time, and call me when you're done."

My eyes followed Sasuke as he left the room and closed the door behind him. I smiled a bit to myself, a weird sort of contentment filling me.

"Seriously, can this guy get any better?" I mumbled to myself. "Un-fucking-believable."

After taking a long breath to prepare myself, I looked back at the phone in my hand, thinking that it was better to just get it over with.

Feeling a lot more reassured after hearing Sasuke's supportive words, I easily dialed Kiba's number again and pressed the green button before bringing the device to my ear.

It didn't take long for Kiba to pick up. _"Hey, man,"_ he greeted, in a hesitant tone, clearly trying to sound more cheery than fearful.

"Hey," I greeted back calmly, making myself more comfortable in the armchair, with my back against one armrest and my legs stretched out over the other, dangling from the edge. I felt somehow relieved that Kiba seemed to be in a more submissive state of mind instead of just straight out being defensive, like I had assumed. "How's it going'?"

_"Fine,"_ Kiba replied, now sounding as relieved as I was at my casual start. _"Happy birthday."_

"Thanks."

_"I wasn't expecting you to call at this hour,"_ he said, cautiously.

"Is it a bad time?"

_"No, man, you know you can call me anytime you want."_ He was silent for a few seconds. _"So, how was your day? Did you have fun?"_

"Yeah, I really did," I replied, tilting my head back to look at the ceiling. "The bastard had this photo shoot thing, which was the reason why we came here in the first place, and it was really awesome. I got to meet this really famous photographer."

_"Awesome."_

"And then we he took me Akihabara, and it was, like, so cool," I proceeded, glad to just be able to easily slip into a normal conversation. "I got you something there, by the way."

_"What is it?"_ he asked, curiosity gracing his voice.

"You'll see when I give it to you," I said, laughing a bit. "But I have a feeling you're going to love it. Anyway, we spent the day there and then we went to see 'Pein' live. The drummer is Itachi's best friend and his and Sasuke's cousin, and he used to go on vacations with us like, forever ago. He looks so different, though, I would've never have guessed."

_"That's great, dude."_

"It was a great day, that's for sure."

_"I'm glad,"_ Kiba said, with a hint of a smile in his honest voice _. "Because I would definitely kick Uchiha's ass if he didn't make your time worthwhile."_

I found myself smiling as well. "Yeah, he's been really great."

_"Are you coming home tomorrow?"_

"Of course, but I'm not sure at what time, we're kind of depending on Itachi to drive us back," I tapped my fingers on my belly. "But Tokyo is really great. I get a bit excited all the time because there are just so many things and it's so noisy. I think I could have a stroke if I stayed here too long."

Kiba laughed a bit, but after that, his breath seemed to catch as if he had choked on the very air itself, which made him cough and me snort.

After a few seconds of silence – apparently awkward from his side – he spoke again. _"Naruto, I just…"_ he cleared his throat in clear embarrassment. _"I'm really sorry. For being a jerk the other day, I mean. I was just shocked and… well, you weren't talking to me and I really didn't' want to make you angrier, so I kind of…"_

"Don't worry about it," I interrupted, lowering my voice so it was reassuring. "It's fine. You were an asshole, but I wasn't very subtle about it either. Let's just forget about it, okay?"

_"Okay,"_ he mumbled, still sounding embarrassed and hesitant. _"I was really surprised, but I had time to think about it. I'm okay with you crushing on Uchiha, seriously. It's none of my business so, all I really have to say is… good luck, I guess."_

It was my turn to become silent, tension making my muscles clench. "Yeah, Kiba, about that," I muttered, scratching my stomach. "I have something to tell you, but you have to promise me you won't freak out, or get mad."

A moment of hesitation, and then I heard Kiba inhale sharply, as if he was getting ready for whatever it was that was coming. _"You're scaring me, but I promise."_

I chewed on my lip for a bit and swallowed hard. "Well, I can't really go into detail right now, but I'll explain things to you better on Monday," I started, feeling my heart rate speed up a little with nervousness. "But what you have to know now is that a few things have happened, and now… well, Sasuke and I are kind of seeing each other."

Again, nothing but silence. Then, Kiba whispered _"Seeing each other?"_ He paused. _"I don't understand."_

"We're sort of dating," I said, trying to sound casual but knowing I was failing miserably.

_"Dating as in you and him are a couple?"_ Kiba pressed on, as if he still hadn't quite grasped what I had said.

"Yes, something like that."

_"You and Uchiha?"_ he repeated.

"That's right," I replied, patiently, rubbing my right cheek with the tips of my fingers.

_"But… he's straight!"_

"He is," I confirmed, not without a ghost of a smirk. "Although, he is accommodating to me rather nicely."

I heard him swallow hard. _"How long has this been going on?"_ he inquired, seriously, but making a clear attempt at remaining calm.

"Almost a month."

That's when he gasped, finally letting his shock show. _"A month?!"_

"You promised you wouldn't get angry, Kiba," I reminded him, not without a guilty flinch.

_"Well, I'm shocked, what do you want me to do?"_ he snapped, all traces of composure forgotten before he huffed. " _Fuck, Naruto, seriously?!"_

"We were just giving it a try, so it seemed pointless to tell anyone if things didn't work out," I explained apologetically. I had the odd necessity to also scratch my jaw in an unconscious act of nervousness.

_"Apparently, they **are** working out,"_ my best friend replied, and he sure didn't stop the disapproval and sarcasm from the way he said it.

"Yes, they really are," I said, heaving a sigh. I really didn't want him to be mad at me, so I was determined to finish that phone call on good terms with him, no matter what. "Please, Kiba, don't be mad."

He snorted audibly and seemed to take a few calming breaths. _"I'm not, but I do wish you had told me about it,"_ he ended up saying, sounding suddenly tired. _"So, what happened? Have you been crushing on him for longer than that, or did that kiss made you two suddenly realize you were into each other?"_

"It's not like that," I muttered, shaking my head before reminding myself that he couldn't see it. "Look, I can't really get into detail right now, because Sasuke left so I could talk to you and I don't want to leave him hanging, but…" I bit my lip. "I need you to be okay with this, Kiba. You're my best friend, and Sasuke and I… It's kind of a mutual attraction thing, and it's been a while since I've felt like this, and in such a carefree way, too. It's been really good, and it's working, so…"

_"I get it,"_ Kiba interrupted, and I could picture him rolling his eyes and scowling from the other side of the line. _"I can tell this is important to you, so of course I'll be one hundred percent supportive of whatever this is, even though I'm not too fond of Uchiha, as you know, and I doubt I'll be just because you're dating him. But I'll always be here for you."_

My muscles instantly relaxed at that, making me smile openly with relief. "Thank you," I whispered.

_"Just know that you'll have to explain it to me properly,"_ Kiba proceeded. _"Because it sounds fucking crazy, even coming from you."_

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, letting out a small chuckle. "I'm a nice guy, I know what I want. And yeah, don't worry; I'll tell you more about it as soon as I can."

_"Good,"_ he huffed again. _"Fucking hell, I won't be able to sleep."_

"Relax, it's not such a big deal," I assured him. "Just don't tell anyone, for now."

_"I'm offended that you had the need to ask."_

"You do have a big mouth sometimes, you know that."

Talking to Kiba and telling him about Sasuke and me really made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn't opened my mouth about it to anyone, and keeping it hidden from the closest person to me really was taking its toll on me, not to mention that it felt great to not be on bad terms with him anymore.

After that, we exchanged a few casual words. I promised I'd text him as soon as I got home the next day and we arranged for him to pick me up on his bike on Monday morning.

When I hung up, my body felt a thousand times lighter than it did when I had dialed his number. Stretching my arms over my head, I happily jumped from the armchair and went to the kitchen to tell Sasuke that I was done. He seemed genuinely glad – in his own way – that the conversation had gone well between me and my best friend.

We shared a glass of juice and a few leftover chips from the previous night before cleaning up and heading to bed. Sasuke searched his mobile phone for some song he said wouldn't leave his head, and as we were lying on the bed, the room semi dark, we listened to a tune that was also familiar to me. We were both on our back, our fingers linked over the covers at our hips. I couldn't help but wonder why the fact that Sasuke and I had similar taste in music seemed so significant all of a sudden.

"I somehow have the feeling that I know why this song was in your head," I murmured, turning my head to the side so I could grin at him.

"Touché," he replied, smirking softly at me. "It suits us, though, don't you think?"

"Uh-huh." I adjusted my body a bit to move closer to him and he imitated me so we could press our lips together. "I think I want it. It'll be your ringtone for whenever you call me."

Sasuke chuckled against my mouth, lips parting so that his teeth could scrape over my lower one, making me release a sound of appreciation. "When the fuck did we become such romantic pussies? I'm seriously starting to feel disgusted with myself."

I couldn't help but laugh at his words.

"It's all good if it stays between us," I whispered, shifting so I was on my side. "Nee, Sasuke, sing for me just a little?"

His eyes narrowed for a while as he scrutinized me with serious contemplation. Then, his tongue flicked out to moisten his lips and he started to sing, his voice creating quite the gorgeous contrast with the voice of the female singer.

I closed my eyes, feeling that deep, emotional connection with him that now seemed to be a constant every time we did something together. It had started to feel like I couldn't stop wanting more and more from him, and it was amazing, but surprising all the same.

Why did the weekend have to end? Why couldn't things be this simple, this perfect every single day, everywhere?

Taking a soft breath, I moved to lay on my side to rest my forehead against Sasuke's shoulder and, filled with the most wonderful sense of bittersweet completion, I let my voice join Sasuke's as we sang lowly together until the song was over.

_Sasuke's POV_

After all the adventures of Naruto's birthday, I had the best night's sleep I'd had in a while. The next morning, I woke up early, as usual, sweating and feeling incredibly hot with Naruto's leg thrown over mine, his arm draped over my chest as he snored gently in my ear.

Knowing I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, I removed myself from under Naruto's rather heavy limbs and got up quietly, desperately craving for a shower, even though I'd had one the night before. However, first I headed to the kitchen, to quell my even more desperate thirst with a glass of water.

The house was quiet, the door to Itachi's room closed. He hadn't been home by the time we got there, and since I didn't hear him come in during the time Naruto and I were in bed – chatting until sleep caught up with us – I knew he had gotten there pretty late.

I went to the bathroom and closed the door, immediately starting the task of brushing my teeth. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I realized I was feeling mildly lightheaded, but with a kind of positive, yet calm energy I couldn't quite place, like a silent euphoria gently bubbling underneath my skin.

It had been a while since I had felt that way, if ever at all, and it was pretty good.

Heaving a small, contented sigh, I turned on the shower faucet and started removing my clothes, placing them neatly over the bidet before stepping inside and closing the stylish, plastic grey curtains. I wasted no time in getting myself under the soothing and warm spray of water, letting it drench the top of my head at first before sliding down the rest of my body. As I closed my eyes, I allowed my muscles to relax. It was pure bliss.

Truly, the previous day had been one of the best in a long time. First, the amazing experience of being painted and photographed by Orochimaru-sama himself; then that long, exhausting but really fun day I had spent with Naruto, and finally, that little detail at the end of the day that had really been the cherry at the top of the cake.

Remembering what had happened the previous night reminded me exactly why Naruto and I had neither finished watching the show, nor stayed longer so I could introduce him to the band. I had actually forgotten about it, since we had both been so overwhelmed and enraptured by each other that I think neither of us really cared. We had wanted nothing more than to be together and assimilate everything happening.

It was weird for me to find myself starting to sink so deeply in that relationship, and worst of all (or best of all), I genuinely had high hopes for us, which was a good thing, but also something that intimidated me because, if for some reason things got out of control and Naruto and I broke up, it would be hard on me. I wouldn't be heartbroken, per se, because I was still in the stage where I was infatuated with him, with us, yet not exactly in love, but it would make a difference in my life as it was at the time. A huge difference.

I liked the fact that Naruto and I were becoming closer, not only as lovers, but also as friends. There was a new dynamic in the way we interacted with each other that was far more open, far more at ease than before, and that bond was quickly becoming important to me.

I found myself frowning at the realization that I wasn't really ready to let go of the high provided by the weekend. It was kind of painful to know that we would have to go back to pretending we weren't more than friends, and I wasn't really looking forward to those hiding games whenever we wanted to get together. Not that it wasn't exciting in a way, but having been able to be a normal couple out in the open had felt better than I had imagined. Still, it was too soon to let people know – I knew that there would be a lot of unnecessary chaos, not to mention that we were still feeling the ground beneath our feet for the time being. Although, I considered, feeling my lips curve in a small smile, things were definitely looking good.

It still amazed me how strong the pull Naruto had on me was, and even though I had no idea where it had come from, I was becoming less fearful from day to day, and increasingly more confident, as well as eager. In my mind, there seemed to be no limits as to where we could go as a duo.

I felt my cheeks burn up at my own thoughts, as my brain was courteous enough to provide me with several flashbacks of the events of the night before.

I placed my right hand on the tiles in front of me, my muscles tensing automatically at the memories. That had been good. In fact, it had probably been the craziest, most impulsive thing I had ever done sexually, but it had felt right, the intensity of it intoxicating, addicting. It had been all about feeling, giving and taking (or the other way around), and it had been amazing.

Just thinking about Naruto blowing me was enough to make sparks of arousal create goose bumps all over my skin, and I swallowed hard, not really fighting the quick reaction of my body to the mental images.

I vaguely wondered if it would be a good idea to get out of the shower fast and take a chance at molesting Naruto awake, but then thought better of it and decided that it was probably a bad idea, what with Itachi sleeping in the room next door.

I could remember Naruto's hands on me clearly, and the way his body had felt against mine, the way it ached for me, responded to me…

I could recall the low, lustful timbre of his voice and his hungry lips over mine, nibbling on my skin, sucking…

I opened my eyes and tilted my head down, blinking the water away from them only to confirm that I was already shamelessly hard and feeling a bit dizzy because of it. It wasn't the first time I had gotten hard thinking about Naruto, but while before I only had our make out sessions and my imagination to fuel my fantasies, now I had something real, which brought a whole new dimension to it.

I bit my lip, contemplating my eager erection with my heart beating a little faster from anxiousness.

Fucking hormones, and fucking Naruto.

Before I could stop myself, my fingers were already encircling my cock firmly, even if my brain was telling me that jerking off in my brother's bathroom was a terrible idea. I hissed a bit at the sensation, but quickly swallowed the moan of pleasure that threatened to escape my throat as I not so gently began moving my hand, because I knew I wasn't going to last long.

"You better not be jerking off in there."

If I were a person who did such a thing as yelping, I would have done it, but instead, my body became rigid with shock, and all l could do was turn around as fast as the speed of light and push the curtain to the side to peek outside and see that Itachi was in front of the sink, wearing only his black pajama pants, calmly squishing toothpaste on his toothbrush.

My cheeks caught fire in my overwhelming urge to either throw a tantrum or dig a hole to bury myself in.

How long had he been there?!

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I snapped, my voice sounding a bit hysterical, to my horror.

"Last time I checked, I lived here, and this was still my bathroom," Itachi said casually, eyeing me from the corner of his eye with a quirked eyebrow.

"But I'm fucking _showering_!" I yelled embarrassingly, frustrated that he had effectively made my previous raging erection go soft in just a few seconds. "Can't a guy have some privacy?!"

"I changed thousands of your diapers when you were a baby, and just yesterday I saw more of you than any person should see, so I don't know why you're so flustered," he replied, before offering me a knowing, devilish smirk. "You _were_ jerking off, weren't you?"

"Oh, fuck you!" Feeling angry and embarrassed beyond myself, I pressed my lips viciously together and closed the curtain violently, my muscles trembling in frustration and mortification.

What the hell? Couldn't a person have a little bit of time to themselves anymore?

I hurriedly washed and rinsed myself as quickly as I could, fuming all over. Once I was finished, I turned off the water only to have someone's hand peeking through the tub's curtain, holding a towel for me. I snatched it away with a growl and wrapped it around my waist.

When I snatched said curtain to the side, I found my brother still there, calmly finishing shaving, accompanied by none other than my eccentric cousin, Shisui, who was, for the record, also very calmly taking a piss.

"What the hell?!" I hissed, not really knowing if I should be shocked at the overcrowded place or at his presence. "What is this, a bathroom conference?!"

"Hello to you, too, baby cousin," Shisui greeted happily, looking over his shoulder and beaming at me, the silvery piercing in the corner of his lower lip gleaming. He was wearing nothing but black boxers, his back completely covered by the tattoo of a glowing red phoenix with its wings spread out over his shoulder blades. His short dark hair was a complete mess, sticking out form every single direction.

"I went to the club yesterday, hoping to catch you and Naruto there," Itachi explained, sliding his razor over his shaving cream covered cheek without looking at me. "It turned out you were already gone, so I hung out with Shisui instead."

"One thing led to the other, and I ended up crashing here," my cousin said, purposefully sounding like he was hinting something for some reason, tucking himself in and flushing the toilet. "It's not polite to leave without even saying hello!" He added, turning to me with an offended look. "The rest of the guys wanted to meet the boyfriend, too."

I swallowed hard, mortification and guilt quickly replacing my initial anger.

"We ended up being distracted, so we left," I explained, not sure about why I was being honest instead of making something up.

"Judging by those hickeys, I can almost guess what kind of 'distraction' we're talking about," Itachi felt the need to comment, his reflection eyeing me through the mirror. His words made me feel self-conscious, and I quickly brought a hand to my neck defensively, ferociously holding my towel together so it wouldn't fall.

Shisui whistled, coming over to me to inspect me curiously. "Wow, someone definitely got lucky last night," he commented, with a sly grin. "Way to go!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, even though my cheeks felt way too hot, to my infinite horror. "Shisui, please shut up."

"No, I'm just, like, completely blown away!" My cousin pressed, patting my shoulder approvingly. "I mean, I knew you were a ladies' man, but to expand your horizons like that, seriously, you have my respect."

Oh, fuck; just what I needed.

"I'm not expanding my horizons!" I defended, frowning as my anger resumed to resurface. "Why are we even talking about this? And how..."

"Oh, please, I could see you two sucking each other's faces off from the stage," Shisui dismissed, eyeing me knowingly. "By the way, is your boyfriend who I think it is?"

"Yes, it's exactly who you think it is," Itachi intervened, and I threw him a look that he missed because he had just finished shaving and was washing his face.

"Aw, that's just awesome!" Shisui cooed, his excessive happiness making me feel sick and annoyed beyond myself for so many reasons. "Remember what I always used to say when they were kids?" He added to Itachi, who was drying off his face with a towel but still managed to make an affirmative noise.

"What was that?" I snapped.

Shisui ruffled my hair mysteriously. "I love being right."

"Hey, don't say stuff and then be secretive about it!" I grunted, slapping his hand away, not without a bit of disgust that he was touching me with hands that had just touched his own private parts.

"Chill, man, just chill," the rocker said, while laughing at my obvious discomfiture. "What crawled up his ass, 'Tachi?"

"He was jerking off and I interrupted him," Itachi said casually, hanging the towel on its rightful place and turning to lean his back against the sink, arms crossed over his chest in evident amusement at my and our cousin's interaction.

"That's nasty, Itachi!" Shisui exclaimed, with malicious delight. "You evil person, you."

"I know."

"Man, what the hell, are we having a party here or something?" Naruto's voice grumbled before his figure appeared at the threshold. He was rubbing at his eyes sleepily, his hair a tangle of golden, messy locks.

And I couldn't believe what was happening. Soon enough we'd be having a fucking picnic in a place more than overcrowded.

"Naruto-chan!" Shisui beamed, turning immediately on his naked heels with open arms, almost hitting Itachi as he quickly made a move to hug Naruto. "It's been forever!"

My boyfriend seemed confused and taken aback by the assault, his blue eyes eying me over Shisui's naked shoulder with a slight fright in them before his brain registered the brief glimpse he'd had of the figure.

"Shisui-nii!" he mumbled back, looking surprised while pushing the older man a bit away from him, but smiling all the same. "Oh, shit, it just has to be fate, man! We went to your show yesterday!"

"I know! But you didn't even come to greet me!"

A little bewildered, I watched as they easily started an overly excited chat, right there, in the middle of the bathroom, Itachi watching the exchange as if really, socializing in such a place was completely normal.

Even though Shisui spending the night wasn't exactly unusual, the way everything around us seemed to turn completely away from what was considered normal by human standards was something I wasn't sure I could ever get used to. He was the same cheery, loud and bright person Naruto was, and yet, the blond idiot had never seemed more normal to me.

Huffing in annoyance, I made my way out of the bathroom, more than happy to leave the focus on Naruto, who didn't seem to mind.

_Naruto's POV_

Sasuke's mood had been a little sour all morning, but that was probably because of the fact that Shisui and Itachi insisted on teasing him about jerking off in the shower during the breakfast we had at a nice café near the apartment. I felt compelled to join the teasing, but decided against it, choosing to be on Sasuke's good side instead.

Apparently, Shisui was coming back with us because he wanted to visit Sasuke's parents, and since Itachi had to work the next day, he had to return to Tokyo that night, which meant we had to leave as soon as possible.

I knew we had to leave that day; I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon.

Both feeling a little dejected, Sasuke and I went back to the apartment to get things ready while both elder Uchiha waited for us at the café.

When Sasuke slammed the door of his room closed and suddenly pushed me towards the bed, I only managed to gasp slightly before he was on top of me, knees nudging my legs so I could spread them, which I did, feeling my heart speeding up and my throat tighten. He easily settled himself between my thighs, his eyes watching me intensely before letting his body fall over mine completely, our lips joining in silent understanding in a wet, open-mouthed kiss.

Even though I knew we should hurry before someone came up to check on us, my hands seemed to move on their own to touch his back underneath his t-shirt, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. When the fingers of both his hands gripped the top of my head possessively and he pressed his hips down roughly so our clothed and evident arousals could rub together, I became lost and couldn't care about anything else, not when it might be a while before we got to do something like that again.

I found that we were too worked up already to think about removing clothes – probably because we really had to be quick and the sense of impending longing and loss was a little too overwhelming. Still, his teeth biting at the curve of my neck, his breathing against my skin, the warmth of him, the way his body moved over mine, grinding down with ease and simultaneous carelessness – everything about him was more than enough to throw me over the edge not long after we had started.

Sasuke's mobile phone rang somewhere in the middle of it, but the sound was distant and not distracting enough to make us stop.

I came in my underwear while whispering his name in a suffocated moan, thrusting my hips upward for more contact, and he followed a few seconds later, huffing a shaky breath against my mouth, seeming to fight my own movements with erratic eagerness.

Once we were done, we kissed and touched languidly for what felt like hours until my body began to feel the terrible weight of his and I could barely breathe, and until our underwear began to feel unavoidably uncomfortable.

Both in a considerably better mood, in spite of the solemn atmosphere around us, we quickly cleaned up, changed our soiled clothes into clean ones and got everything ready.

When we grabbed for our stuff and Sasuke held my hand in his, I couldn't help the happiness I felt at the new sense of intimacy that simple gesture provided.

It wasn't like I had suddenly fallen head over heels for him just because we had been intimate, but somehow, it felt like something was slowly beginning to build up inside of me for him, some sort of strong, but still tenuous empathy that linked us together. It wasn't just the friendship, or the physical attraction – it was something more, like the start of a new psychological awareness. I couldn't really explain it, but it was something that actually felt more important than any kind of sexual interaction.

I could just tell that Sasuke felt it, too. I could tell that things were going to be slightly different from then on, hopefully for all the good reasons. I knew that bad moments would come, eventually – what healthy relationship doesn't have its ups and downs? – but I wasn't scared. In fact, all I wanted was for Sasuke to realize our potential as soon as possible.

I really wanted to see what he would be like when in love, because already he was becoming exactly the type of person I wanted for myself.

I knew he was in love just then, but not with me. At that same moment, his heart was loving someone; someone he couldn't and didn't want to love.

A tiny bit jealousy for that unknown person started assaulting me for the first time.

If Sasuke were to ever admit his feelings to that individual, would they really reject him? It seemed impossible that anyone would ever reject someone like him, so desired – the perfect catch.

Really, what was he thinking?

It didn't matter, though, because he chose to be with me over being with the person he liked, so to know that he was devoting his faith, his hope to me, was more than enough for my jealousy to be quelled.

He had chosen _me_. He was accepting _me_. He was relying on me, trusting me, and wanting me.

And I wanted him to fall for me so hard that that person would become nothing but a blurry image, buried deep within the confines of his memory. It was a selfish desire, but I couldn't help but be curious. Would it always be that perfect if we fell for each other? Would we change? Would we become cheesy and romantic? Somehow, thinking about it made me want to snort, because I couldn't really picture either of us being any different from what we were.

Still, it was something I really wanted to be able to see, to experience for myself. How would Sasuke be if… no, _when_ he fell in love with me?

How would he look to me, then, if already I saw him as something almost too right for me?

In a way, picturing it was intimidating, but still exciting.

I was woken up from my musings by lips being pressed to my cheek.

"Stop daydreaming about how perfect you think I am, already," he teased smugly against my cheek, before offering it a small lick, his free hand turning the doorknob. "There's more where that came from, you know?"

I rolled my eyes at him, refusing to acknowledge that he had hit the target dead on, even if as a joke. "Don't get cocky," I replied, as he opened the door. "I already used you to relieve my needs, now I'll leave you hanging for another month, like you did to me. Payback's a bitch."

He laughed and leaned away, shaking his head from side to side. "We'll see."

000

Of course, Shisui had to tease us into oblivion for our lateness.

The ride back to our hometown was spent with Itachi and Shisui (who was driving) in the front seats, talking to each other about their work, the topics highly interesting, but I was too lost in thoughts of Sasuke and me, and of what was going to become of our relationship from then on. Nothing would change, but at the same time, now that things had become more intense, everything was going to become more frustrating.

I was thankful that we could share the backseat. We held hands during most of the time, sometimes exchanging a few words about the upcoming week, or about this or that song that was playing on the radio – no CDs this time – but mostly we were silent. We played _Sudoku_ on my mobile phone. Sometimes we smooched and Itachi would clear his throat, or Shisui would throw something at us, like his pack of cigarettes or some piece of fancy punk accessory he was wearing.

It seemed like time had gone by too fast, because next thing I knew, it was lunchtime and Itachi's car had stopped in front of my house, forcing me to acknowledge that I was going back to real life.

When I kissed Sasuke goodbye still inside the car, the other two remained blissfully silent.

"I'm going to miss sleeping with you," I muttered with a pout, joining our foreheads together, one of my hands caressing the nape of his neck. "It's going to feel lonely from now on."

"If you managed to sleep without me for seventeen years, I'm sure you'll be just fine," he said simply, smiling at me. "Call me later?"

"Yeah."

I gave him one last peck and thanked Itachi for everything. I exchanged phone numbers with Shisui, who then winked and stuck out his tongue at me, effectively showing his yellow piercing in a joyous mood. Seriously, from his looks, that guy was undoubtedly an Uchiha, and yet, he behaved differently from every Uchiha I had ever met. Not that I had met many.

When I got home, my mom greeted me with a loud exclamation and a bone crushing hug. After that, she promptly demanded to see her souvenirs with a serious, almost threatening face, as if telling me she'd kill me if I had forgotten to get her something.

Dad and she insisted that we had to celebrate my birthday all the same, because we did that every year, and we couldn't let our simple customs die. Mom had actually even baked a chocolate cake for me and everything, so the three of us spent the rest of the afternoon drinking tea and eating at the kitchen table while I told them how my experience in Tokyo had been.

Dad knew all about the big city, since he often had to go there for work, but mom kept asking questions – most of them I couldn't really answer because, truth be told, I hadn't seen all that much of Tokyo – and wanting to know how Itachi's place was like and if I had seen Itachi being attacked by crazy fans. Dad kept on frowning at her, and I felt sorry for him. I knew my mom loved him like crazy, but her excitement for Itachi – even if, I was sure, it was nothing but a normal crush over a celebrity she actually knew – was highly inappropriate.

I told them all about Sasuke's photo shoot and how he had planned such a great day for me. Of course, I stayed silent about our little intimate indiscretion the day before, but I supposed I had talked in an overly excited way without noticing, because my parents actually exchanged a look and smiled at each other.

"It's so good that you and Sasu-chan are getting along!" My mom said, clapping her hands enthusiastically, oblivious to the fact that there was a piece of chocolate cake glued to her cheek.

"Sasuke and I always got along," I defended, trying not to laugh. "Only sometimes we didn't, and still don't."

"But the two of you do seem to have somehow gotten closer," dad mumbled, stabbing the chocolate cake on his plate and throwing a teasing smile at me, also somehow enjoying the sight of my mom's face. "And a little fly around the shop might've let out that the two of you have spent an unusual amount of time at the warehouse."

_That fucking Sai._

"Sasuke's been helping me out with my homework!" I protested, feeling my cheeks burn with sudden embarrassment.

"I don't see your grades improving," mom noted, punching my arm reproachfully. "I didn't know Sasu-chan liked boys, though."

"He doesn't!" I denied, firmly, wondering how the heck the conversation had travelled down such paths. "It's just studying!"

"Sure," my dad replied, not seeming convinced.

Was the world out to get me or something?

The day went by easily in the company of my parents until I remembered that I still had homework to do.

Aggravated at how my weekend was going to end, I climbed the stairs to my room with heavy steps, wishing I could go to Sasuke's and just beg for his help, but then I decided that it would probably be inadequate, not to mention that, after the events of the last couple of days, I would most likely be distracted and want to do anything but homework.

_Sasuke's POV_

The window in my room – the tallest of the house, situated in the attic – gave me an easy access to the roof. All I had to do was swing one leg over it and my foot would find its stable surface. I often went there to think, to listen to some music on my iPhone or to smoke, mostly when my parents were asleep. That afternoon, I had decided that the weather was mild enough for it to be a pleasant place for me to finish my homework, especially because Shisui was incredibly loud, effectively infecting my mother, who always tended to be noisy when he was around. As if one noisy person wasn't enough already.

By the time I finished schoolwork, the sun was setting over the houses in my quiet and neat street, the sky painted in gorgeous tones of orange.

As I smoked a much needed cigarette and browsed through the history book resting over my lap to check if there was something I could study that I didn't already know, I wondered if Naruto was doing his homework as well or if he was slacking off – which was the most likely answer. Still, if indeed he had decided to get some work done, he might be struggling with something.

I inhaled from the cigarette, my eyes focusing on the horizon while I contemplated if I should call him and ask if he needed help.

Just as I expelled the smoke, I heard movement in the room behind me and quickly smashed my cigarette on one of the tiles underneath me, scared that one of my parents might find me.

"Sasuke?"

"Shit," I hissed, mourning my half-smoked cigarette as soon as I recognized Itachi's voice. "Yeah, I'm on the roof."

I felt a presence behind me and looked over my shoulder to see my brother at the window, peeking down at me. "Mom says dinner will be ready in fifteen."

"Okay," I muttered, closing my book and fetching the improvised cardboard ashtray I had left beside me to drop the wasted cigarette there.

"Can I join you?" he asked.

I tensed for barely a second before muttering a small "Sure."

Ignoring the way too loud sound – or so it seemed – of Itachi climbing the window and coming outside, I gathered my books and writing supplies and piled them up neatly at my right, just as Itachi sat down on my left.

"Were you studying?" he inquired matter-of-factly, crossing his legs Indian style. I wasn't looking at him, but I could feel his curious eyes on me.

"Just doing my homework," I replied, pulling my legs to my chest. For some reason, he had decided that sitting close to me was a good idea – even though the reclined roof was huge – meaning that our sides were touching, his arm pressed against mine. It was highly uncomfortable for me, but there was something inside me that didn't allow me to move away.

"Need help?"

"Thanks, but I already finished it."

Itachi nodded and looked away. I then looked at him from the corner of my eyes, seeing him contemplate the scenery in front of us. The soft breeze tainted the air with the smell of his cologne, and I had to swallow hard to keep my body from reacting to the familiarity of it.

"Sasuke, can we talk for a bit?" Itachi asked quietly, in a more serious tone.

"Yeah," I agreed, in an equal tone, even if I felt hesitant.

He was silent for a while, his hands fumbling absently with a loose string on the leg of his jeans. "I just want to know if you're happy about your relationship with Naruto," he said carefully, still not looking at me. "Or better, if he makes you happy? if he gives you what you've been looking for?"

I didn't need to think a lot to know what he meant and to process that he knew that, during the time I had been dating on and off, I had been looking for _something_.

The thought was unsettling on many levels, but I was decided to not let it affect me.

"Yes, he really does," I muttered. "I know it's surprising and all that, and it's been a pretty new experience to me, but I feel accomplished in ways I didn't before."

He nodded again, solemnly, and sighed. "That's good," he said, almost sweetly. "I can't help but feel jealous of him, though."

I effectively stopped breathing, not really caring if he noticed or not.

Jealous? Itachi was _jealous_ of Naruto?

Why?

I felt like letting out a dry laugh at the irony of it but didn't. Even if he was just being his normal self, Itachi's words had been spoken without any kind of malice or second intentions, and I couldn't help but think that some things were just plain surprising and just couldn't be explained.

"Do you dislike me?" Itachi asked unexpectedly, turning his face to me and startling me, seeing that his face had come alarmingly close.

I blinked, taken aback by the question, not able to move.

How could he ever think something like that? Had I inadvertently done something to make him think that?

"Of course not!" I denied at once. "What makes you think that?"

"You haven't changed, but your attitude towards _me_ has changed," he said, barely in a whisper. "I don't know what happened, but you need to tell me what I've done wrong so I can apologize and fix it."

I chewed on my lower lip, wanting to look away, to evade his attentive, demanding stare but not being able to, instead finding my eyes glued to his. Everything about me felt like a living contradiction, and I hated how the fact that our faces were so abnormally close also made me want to do two, very distinct and opposite things. Thankfully, my rational side knew that the safe choice was to not move at all.

"You haven't done anything wrong," was all I could say, hating how impassive my voice sounded.

"Liar," Itachi accused, narrowing his eyes. He then placed a hand over the curve of my neck, a gesture meant to trap me. He fell silent at first, as if evaluating my reaction, but in spite of the chills that ran down my spine at the contact, I didn't even flinch. Then, he licked his lips - the action forcing my eyes to automatically roll down to watch - and proceeded. "You may not believe it, but you are the most important thing in the world to me. I could lose everything and everyone, but I'd be fine as long as I had you."

I look back up as is eyes scanned my features again, a curious expression I couldn't understand filling them. "We used to talk about everything, no exceptions. You used to rely on me. You're slipping away from me, Sasuke. I've been aware of this for a while now, and no matter what I do to get through to you, you're drifting away. I don't know how to stop it."

I could tell that he was trying to keep his voice cool, steady, but it was dripping with a sort of helplessness I hadn't been ready for. Knowing he had also been suffering from that change in our relationship made me feel guilty, but Itachi had always been that simple, peaceful person that always seemed unaffected by the world in general, and even though he had dropped hints here and there, I hadn't been sensible enough to understand that he was trying to let me know it was affecting him, too.

I twisted my body slightly towards him, and my hand automatically moved to press itself against Itachi's chest to feel his not so steady heartbeat. Why was his heart beating so fast? My frantic mind couldn't provide a rational answer that didn't seem ridiculously hopeful.

No, I couldn't afford to feel that.

My palms itched with the urge to either push him away or to do the exact opposite, and since I didn't really trust myself, I preferred to keep them still.

"You're exaggerating," I mumbled feebly. "Just because I've grown up and don't feel like telling you everything, or depending on you for every single thing..."

"I want to be there for you like I always have," Itachi interrupted firmly. "I just want to go back to the way we were. We used to be so close. Something like that doesn't change overnight, Sasuke. Something must've happened."

I swallowed, and suddenly, my lips parted, and I couldn't really stop the irrational words from coming out. "I don't see you the same way as I did before," I replied, without thinking. After that, I shut my mouth reflexively, causing my teeth to clank.

There, I had said it. What the fuck had I been thinking? The admission made me feel lighter, yet unsure. Again, I had no idea what I expected to accomplish with it - I had no idea what I was doing.

"I'm not sure I understand," Itachi muttered clearly having a hard time reading me.

This time, I really did let out a short, mocking laugh.

My brother didn't seem to know how to process my words and actions. He was still staring at me, desperately trying to read me. I could feel his heart beating faster under my fingers, his ribcage expanding and retracting a bit faster than usual. I couldn't find a suitable explanation for why it would happen to him, but I didn't delve on it too much because we had never really had this kind of conversation before. Our relationship had never once been in jeopardy.

"It's not you, or anything about you, it's _me_ ," I ended up saying, again, before I could even stop myself because, in a way, I needed him to know at least _something_ about it. "I'm always feeling awkward and exasperated. I can't fucking breathe with you always there, wanting to play the parent and wanting to be there for everything. I need space; I need privacy."

His lips parted slightly in surprise and realization. I wasn't sure about the look he gave me, but I was far beyond wanting to know his thoughts at that point.

"I see," he said simply. Simultaneous relief and emptiness washed over me at his answer.

We were both silent, neither daring to move, but I had the distinct feeling that, for some reason, my words had upset him.

"Does this have to do with you not wanting to move in with me?" Itachi inquired carefully. After a while, he moved his hand from the curve of my neck upwards, his fingers caressing the skin along the path until it reached my cheek and stilled, the touch almost making me shiver, and yet, I couldn't move away from it, even if I knew I should question it, deny it.

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. "It's part of it, yes," I muttered, my fingers clenching around the fabric of his red shirt. "But I meant it when I said I don't want to be a burden to you. I do want to finish high school in our hometown, go slow and do things the way I've been doing, and then think about my future."

My brother all but nodded understandably, heaving another sigh. I wondered exactly how much he truly understood when I had only expressed a very small part of my issues.

"What do you want me to be to you, Sasuke?" he inquired, once more asking an unexpected question, frowning in poorly concealed concern, his grave eyes boring holes into mine. "Tell me and I'll be it."

I could do nothing but blink at him for a few seconds. My brain worked quickly with the many possible meanings behind his words, but coming from him, the outcome could only go one way.

For a moment, I wondered what he'd do if I said _it_ to his face. He seemed so eager to understand me, so fearful that he might lose me that I couldn't help but question myself if maybe that was the best choice.

But he might just walk away and never speak to me again. He might start to hate me, or feel disgusted by me, and even though something inside me was scolding me, telling me that I was crazy to even think about it because I knew he loved me too much for that, truth was, I was still scared that it might happen.

Still, a part of me started thinking if being ruthlessly rejected wouldn't be better than this constant anguish.

No, it wouldn't. I didn't want him all over me all the time, but a life without him in it, being who he always was, seemed unimaginable to me.

It sucked that I had to be weak all over again in times when I was trying to grow stronger.

"I just want Itachi," I ended up saying, keeping my voice low. "I don't need anything else from you."

Itachi's eyes narrowed at that, as if he was trying to dissect my very soul with them, but I couldn't figure out what he was thinking at all.

"We should... start over, I think," he said, carefully. "We should try to understand each other on a different level, I suppose." I noticed his other hand shifting a bit, making him seem calculating, as if, all of a sudden, he wasn't sure how to interact with me, which, I guessed, was probably true. "I won't pressure you into coming to live with me anymore, or to be more attentive to your career. I will wait for you to come and talk to me when you need it. When you feel like you're ready to tell me what's on your mind, you can do it and I'll be there for you. I'll never judge you. You know that, right?"

Did I? What kind of things was he assuming about me to say something like that? There was no way he could know about my feelings, not even being as insanely intelligent as he was. No one would ever fathom the possibility.

"Alright," I agreed, simply, not really knowing what else to say. I couldn't just push him away from me, because, no matter what, losing him wasn't an option, even if, sometimes, I wondered if that wouldn't be for the best.

"Alright," he repeated, but without a single trace of mockery.

We found ourselves staring at each other once again. The tension was supposed to have vanished now that we had talked, but instead it seemed like it had grown thicker, heavier, filled with even more questions and more things that needed to be said. It felt weird to realize that it came from both our parts, but thankfully, neither of us tried to press the subject further.

The silence was oddly deafening. I was very still, my body hurting from being twisted for so long, my palms sweaty and my muscles tense for being so close to him. Why was his heart still beating so fast?

His thumb was caressing my jaw lovingly and I wondered if I should move away and break that uncomfortable contact once and for all, but his nose was suddenly brushing mine and I couldn't muster up the courage to do so.

I wanted to leave. His face was still alarmingly close to mine, and of course, I was the only one apparently disturbed by it as he was the one closing in on me.

I needed to get away from him, to run from that alluring comfort, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt his feeling and make things awkward and painful between us, because that's what would happen if I just pushed him away, I could just feel it.

I breathed in, slowly, the action excruciatingly difficult for something that is supposed to be innate to the human body.

I was only vaguely aware of his face moving even closer, his head tilting a bit to the side.

Suddenly, I couldn't see his face at all. My brain became clouded and I felt high, almost in a dream-like state. I felt something moist and slightly cool being pressed to the corner of my mouth in a gentle but firm way, as if making some sort of statement. I realized that Itachi's lips were probably supposed to be touching my cheek but instead were partially touching mine – a mistake, surely, a miscalculation of the distance – even if barely.

Those lips were slightly parted against the corner if of my mouth before closing, brushing over the sensitive skin of my own lips as they did, and I would've moaned if I didn't feel so damned infatuated and horrified at the same time. There was a bit if pressure then, as his lips lingered for what felt like forever.

Itachi was kissing the corner of my mouth and that was all I knew and enough to render me motionless.

I couldn't wrap my mind around the action, my body frozen. Surely, I was dreaming, imagining it. There was a chaste feel to it, yet it had a hint of disguised sensuality, but there was no way that I would believe the action meant what I thought it meant. There was no way it had been real.

Itachi pulled away slowly, his lips making the smallest smacking noise as he did so.

I looked at him in bewilderment, but he didn't look back at me, his eyes trained somewhere else on my face, my mouth, or my nose, I couldn't tell.

The tips of his fingers brushed my jaw carefully and I still couldn't move. "We should go," he said plainly.

Without saying another word, he let go of me completely and I felt my fingers uncurl from around his shirt automatically, barely realizing I was doing it at all before letting my hand fall heavily to my lap. Itachi then got up and simply left, not bothering to check if I was following after him.

In a daze, I stared at the place where he had just been, feeling oddly numb.

_Not real_ , I assured myself, refusing to dwell on it, because there was no point I had imagined it; all of it.

I sat there, staring into space, willing oblivion to strike me until my mother's voice called me to dinner. Like a robot, going on autopilot, I grabbed my things, and went inside.

It couldn't have been real.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment ;)


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by loveandallthat and edited by me.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know that other pairings will sort of be introduced but the reason why I haven't mentioned them in the tags is to keep a bit of mystery. You will know who Naruto's first boyfriend was at some point, so don't worry ;)
> 
> Don't forget to comment!

** Assuming We... **

**Chapter Eleven**

_Sasuke's POV_

I spent the whole dinner in silence, my eyes lowered to my plate as I ate, my movements automatic. I wasn't hungry at all, but I tried to eat to avoid questions from my mother, who would probably think I was sick or something.

Shisui talked his mouth off, his good spirits infecting both my parents, and yes, even my father. The three chatted away happily about irrelevant stuff as Itachi and I remained silent. I could feel my brother's eyes on me, calculating and intense, but I tried my hardest to keep calm and not allow my demeanor to change, even if I couldn't remember a single moment in my life where I had felt that nervous in his presence. Well, not exactly _nervous_ , more like _self-conscious_. His stare felt heavy on me, and even though Itachi was sitting across from me, I felt as if I was being touched, poked insistently, as if those eyes were beckoning me to look back at them. It made my muscles tense and my stomach contort in ways I didn't know to be possible.

What the fuck was wrong with me? Why was I feeling so worked up because of something that, clearly, had been nothing but a mistake?

Why was I letting my own imagination distort things so shamelessly? I knew Itachi had meant to kiss my cheek but ended up kissing the corner of my mouth instead, but we were brothers, and stuff like that should never be considered strange between family – Itachi had never felt disgusted by me; didn't we always drink from the same glass all the time, shared ice-cream and stuff? Didn't we often eat from the same plate? I did it with my parents all the time, too; it was okay.

My rational mind knew this all too well.

So, why the fuck was I making such a big scene in my head? I wasn't some stupid blushing girl, and I had already risked way too much confessing part of my insecurities to Itachi; I couldn't just give myself away after fighting my own feelings for almost a year.

It was just that my emotional side was simultaneously rejecting and desiring the idea that it would have meant more than that. The disgust I felt towards myself knew no boundaries. I was so angry at myself I wanted to pay someone to beat the shit out of me.

Mustering up all my courage, I looked up at my brother to find him, as expected, eyeing me back with a distinct serene and slightly curious expression. My heart sank, and all I wanted just then was to punch that fucking stoic expression out of his face as hard as I could, but then I remembered that no, if I did that and ruined those perfect features of his, he wouldn't be able to work for weeks, and I couldn't do that to him.

Shit.

Indignantly, I clenched my hands over my lap under the table and bit down on my lower lip hard, frowning at Itachi, who merely raised his eyebrows in wonder, as if my anger was incomprehensible to him – which probably was, because, I reasoned, there was no way he could know what I was feeling and why I felt as upset as I did. There was no way he had been intentional in his actions, and no way he'd known what they'd do to me.

It was all in my head. Simple.

_Stop making such a big deal out of it already._

But even if Itachi was completely oblivious, it hurt, and I felt stupidly naïve and vulnerable all of a sudden. Even if Itachi had just been acting the part of the concerned loving big brother, I couldn't help but have the nagging feeling that I was being played.

_Just snap out of it. Even if it did mean something else (it didn't, so stop fucking supposing it did), what exactly would you do about it? What exactly could come out of it?_

_Nothing. Even if, for some reason, Itachi…_

_Which he most definitely **doesn't** … But if he did…_

_It would never work. There could never be a possible happy ending for something like this. You know this. You know it._

And, all of a sudden, my anger turned into bitterness and all I felt was desolation. I don't know what expression I did just then, but Itachi's mask fell. I couldn't identify if there was worry in his eyes or surprise, but I didn't care anymore.

It was pointless. There was no purpose. _Why_ was I still killing myself over such things? Hadn't I decided to move forward and forget everything? Hadn't I chosen Naruto already?

Why was it so hard to just fucking _ignore_ every single thing about _him_?

I forced the rest of my meal down my uncooperative throat as slowly as I could, desperately wanting to flee the room but knowing I couldn't, which led me to trying my best to keep myself occupied.

I offered to take care of the dishes once everyone had finished eating. To my infinite horror, Itachi said he'd give me a hand. I might've died a little inside at that very moment, because I really didn't want him anywhere near me when I was feeling so stupidly vulnerable. I always praised myself for being a collected person, able to mask my feelings and emotions if required of me, and yet, I was sure I'd start stuttering if Itachi came close to me again, and I didn't want to make a fool out of myself in front of my family. Gods, what if they _noticed_? What would they think?

Luckily, our father decided he had a few things he wanted to ask Itachi so my brother was forced to stay where he was. I felt his eyes on me as I got up and started picking the dishes and glasses up from the table, avoiding touching him at all costs. Thankfully, his attention was then focused on the conversation with our father, and I was able to breathe properly for a while.

Once I was finished with the dishes in the kitchen, my mother got up as well to make some coffee, and I took the chance to excuse myself and go to the bathroom. It wasn't like I needed to go, I really just wanted an excuse to get out of there for a while and breathe a little easier, even if just for a few minutes, so I could calm the fuck down.

I went upstairs with excruciatingly slow steps. Even though I didn't really need to use the bathroom, I tried my best to actually do something just to spend the time. Then, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, thoroughly washed my hands and wasted some time re-arranging my clothes so my parents wouldn't see the still visible marks Naruto had left there from the previous night and that same morning.

Unfortunately, as I descended the steps to head back to the kitchen, I found Itachi leaning his back on the front door, his brown stylish jacket already on. I stopped in my tracks and he looked up at me. Happy chatter could be heard coming from the kitchen where three voices seemed to want to speak all at the same time.

I felt my fingers tightening around the handrail but forced my posture to remain firm and impassive.

We looked at each other. Silent curiosity was splattered across my brother's features. I refrained from chewing on my lower lip at how uncomfortable I felt and instead asked, as calmly as humanly possible "Are you leaving already?"

Itachi's eyebrow quirked upwards a bit. "Yes. I'm just waiting for mother to stop fussing over Shisui so we can go. I suspect she's going to give him a month's worth of food supply again. She always thinks he's some kind of starving artist."

I struggled to make my expression appear amused, but ended up not managing it successfully, so I gave up trying.

For a few seconds, I wondered if it would be best for me to go to the kitchen or stay there and keep him company. Then, I fought an internal battle to figure out what exactly I was feeling and if the awkwardness was greater than my genuine and oh so stupid will to stay with him. I didn't want to _want_ to be there, and yet, I did. I knew that, once he got out that door, I'd probably only get to see him during Christmas, what with all the work he'd be assaulted with now that his vacations were over. Sure, we'd talk over the phone a few times a week, as per usual, but it wasn't the same.

No matter how angry and confused I was, the fact that I still missed him most of the time remained solid. He was my brother, and he had always been my most precious person. Before he had thrown himself out into the world all by himself, I had genuinely thought we'd always be together.

I hated myself for being such a fucking walking contradiction. I couldn't even understand what I wanted, and my body constantly seemed to defy my mind.

I heaved a resigned sigh and sat down on one of the steps heavily. Itachi watched me for a while before slowly coming closer until he was sitting beside me, but not as close as he had on the roof, to my relief. "I hope they don't take long," he said absently. "I really have to get up early tomorrow."

"Mm," I mumbled, resting my elbows on my knees and looking at the door.

"It's kind of late," Itachi said, looking at me. "Should I still call you when I get home?"

I wondered why he was asking such a question when he had always called me after a travel, be it from our hometown to Tokyo or when he travelled from one country to another.

I tensed, feeling unreasonably guilty. Was he asking because of that conversation we had earlier? "I said I needed space," I mumbled, torn between feeling uncomfortable and annoyed. "I don't remember ever having said that the routine we've had for years had to change."

I wasn't looking at him, but I could just tell that he was smiling.

"That's good," he said, nodding once.

"Yeah," I agreed, feeling my cheeks burn up, thus forcing me to turn my face completely away so he wouldn't notice and leaning my forehead on the wooden pillars that sustained the handrail.

Itachi was silent for a while, still watching me with that horrible intensity that made my chest tighten and my hands sweat.

"You're angry at me, I can tell," he then said, softly, and I felt his hand being placed on my wrist. "I'm constantly upsetting you; it seems."

My skin was tingling where he was touching. Even the muscles in that hand seemed to tremble, my veins seemed to pulse way too strongly. I closed my eyes, refusing to answer but not really rejecting the simple touch because, in a strange way, it felt reassuring, honest and just painfully good. I had nothing else to comfort my inner turmoil at the moment, so it was easy to indulge.

"I think I should still apologize for things I know I do wrong," Itachi's voice had lowered to an almost secretive but cautious whisper. "So, I'm sorry for trying to monopolize your life. No, for trying to monopolize _you_. I know I do that way too often because we've always been close, and you're definitely growing up and becoming an adult, and somehow knowing you are so independent really scares me. It scares me that we might not be as close as we've always been and that someone might take you away."

My heart leaped clumsily at that. I opened my eyes to look at him sideways with a slight frown. He was still smiling at me, but this time I could see a hint of sadness there, his thumb rubbing my wrist gently.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," he muttered. "I know it's selfish of me. I know you have the right to live your own life, and I know that, sooner or later, someone you love will drag you away and move towards the future with you. I wish I could explain it myself, but I can't. I don't think I want to."

I swallowed hard, unable to really understand what he was saying to me.

"Also, I think I should apologize for being such an evil bastard," he proceeded, chuckling dryly. "Because I know I do and say things that anger and upset you, but I can't seem to help myself. I want to upset you as often as I can." His smile became almost bitter. "I'm not as much of a good person as you probably think I am."

By then I couldn't _not_ look straight at him. What the hell? "You're so confusing," was all I could muster, feeling more tired than irritated, with more honesty than I wanted to show. "I don't understand you. Why are you saying such confusing shit to me? How am I supposed to interpret it?"

Itachi merely shrugged effortlessly. Dark eyes roamed openly over my features now and the expression in them, as usual, was very intense, and still, I couldn't read it at all. "Who knows?" he ended up saying, before wetting his lips with a delicate flick of his tongue, the action almost making me shiver because he shamelessly lowered his eyes to my mouth. "You confuse me, too."

Before I could say something, the voices coming from the kitchen became increasingly louder and it was just a matter of milliseconds before Shisui and our parents stepped into the hall, still chatting amicably. My cousin, as expected, was carrying a plastic bag filled with food.

I felt Itachi's thumb rubbing my wrist slightly before he let go and got up. All I could do was look at him as he stretched out his limbs while descending the steps and asked, "Can we go, now?"

"Don't be like that, Itachi, you know I rarely ever see my adorable nephew!" Mother argued, hugging a smiling Shisui's arm affectionately. She looked terribly tiny beside him.

"Then maybe you should go to Tokyo more often?" Itachi teased, taking Shisui's jacket from the coat hanger and passing it to him. "Maybe then you could see he actually owns a decent apartment and doesn't starve."

"Oh, shut it, you," our mother replied, laughing. "You're just jealous I don't fuss over you like I fuss over him."

Father actually let out a small chuckle.

"How I wish that was true," Itachi sighed. I could barely believe he had gone back to his usual self in such a quick, smooth way.

I wasn't really feeling like myself when I went to the group to see my brother and my cousin leave. I was in the strangest mood as it hit me that, after his long vacations from work, Itachi was really leaving, no longer a constant presence in the house, _again_. Even though I supported his career and loved the fact that he lived in Tokyo and all that, it was always hard when he left, and his absence was always something I had a hard time getting used to. Only this time, instead of feeling bitter, I suddenly felt lost.

I forced a smile when Shisui patted my shoulder in farewell. Then, Itachi approached me casually and, coming alarmingly close – or so my paranoid mind thought – he touched the back of my neck gently with a hand before pressing his lips to my forehead. The action was simple, innocent, typical, even, but I stopped breathing altogether. The feel of his lips lingering on my skin seemed to last forever, and all I could think about was how absurdly good he smelled and 'what's going on?'.

When he moved away, his fingers tugged at my bangs and I found myself unable to speak. My whole body felt hot, but my spine was chilled.

As normal as ever, he went to say his goodbyes to our oblivious parents as I simply stared at him, disgusted by my own illusions.

Was I going insane? Because nothing had changed. Itachi hadn't changed, and even though my feelings for him had, his energy towards me had always been familiar, immutable. He'd always been this way, hadn't he?

But… it _had_ changed. Ever since I had told him about Naruto and me that something felt off, and it had been manifesting itself since then. It wasn't exactly the way he behaved, even if there was a slight change in that, it was more… I can't explain it, but his aura felt different, somehow, more intense, more demanding, and definitely more intimidating. It seemed to want to consume me, poke at me until I went crazy with doubt.

Before walking out the door, he still looked back over his shoulder at me. He wasn't smiling, but his eyes seemed terribly expressive all of a sudden with so many emotions I had no idea what they were trying to tell me. All I knew was what my own body interpreted and what that made me feel.

And, all of a sudden, I felt longed for.

It wasn't like I hadn't felt it coming from him before. After all, we had a deep bond and had always been very close. I knew he wanted me around, I knew he wanted us to live together.

But, this kind of longing was different.

_I **am** going out of my mind._

He bit his lip, apparently hesitating for just a split second before looking away and stepping out of the house, both my parents blocking the way to see him and Shisui off.

My heart was pounding violently and all I could feel was confusion and fear. I brought my hand to my chest, feeling my heart beating wildly underneath my shaky palm.

Something was definitely changing, but I couldn't really understand what it was. I couldn't for the life of me put my finger in what had changed about my brother when, for all effects, he was acting like his usual self… wasn't he?

All I knew was that whatever was happening was scaring the hell out of me and that I shouldn't dwell on it if I didn't want to lose any more of my sanity. What was happening to me was nothing, but an unfortunate prank of fate and it had to stop.

Change or no change on Itachi's part, be it my imagination or not, I couldn't allow myself to acknowledge it – I _wouldn't._

I couldn't help but think about Naruto just then, as I stared at nothing in particular. I realized just how much I needed him, and just how much his presence alone was able to ground me and make me forget even myself. Somewhere deep inside, I knew that that weekend had been proof enough of just how perfect he was for me in times when I didn't know what to do with myself. After all this time, he was proving himself, and he was definitely the 'it' I needed in my life when things seemed to crumble down around me.

I was lost and alone with my own feelings, I understood that. I understood that, if I didn't let myself go and give myself completely to my boyfriend, I would eventually screw up both my relationship with Naruto, and my situation with Itachi. I couldn't have that. I realized that I couldn't afford to lose Naruto. I didn't want to, because I genuinely cared, and I genuinely believed that he would be the one to get me out of my misery.

No matter how much it hurt, I couldn't let Itachi know about what was going on inside of me, for him. It had to fucking stop.

I needed Naruto to make it stop. Desperately.

That night, I swore to myself that I wouldn't hold back no matter what.

_Naruto's POV_

"So, let me see if I get this straight," Kiba replied with a confused frown, crumpling the paper that had been wrapped around the cake he had just finished eating. "Sasuke is in love with some mysterious person, someone he doesn't want to be in love with, reason why he has been dating on and off. He wants to fall out of love with said person, and that's why he accepted to try and date you."

"Correct," I confirmed, before taking a sip on my canned Coke, my eyes instantly being drawn to the elegant figure sitting under a tree not too far from the one where my best friend and I were sitting under. Sasuke was surrounded by his friends – my cousin, Karin, Juugo and Suigetsu – but he was calmly reading a book with his back against the trunk of the tree, ignoring the heated discussion between my cousin and the silvery haired male while Juugo sighed and tried to reason with them.

"And you decided to date him because you were bored and unsatisfied," Kiba proceeded in a slower tone, as if trying to process his own words. "And now it's been almost a month and you're both actually attracted to each other."

"Yup."

I could feel Kiba's eyes on me, but I was still staring at Sasuke. We hadn't exactly spoken to each other that day yet, because Kiba had picked me up that morning and given me a ride to school on his motorbike. It wasn't like I didn't appreciate it, but it bothered me a bit that it was already lunch time and that we hadn't had a moment for each other yet. Sure, we had texted each other the previous night and as soon as we both woke up, but somehow, going back to our routine of hide and seek really didn't bode well with me when being a normal couple out in the open had felt so absolutely perfect.

"Do you like him?" Kiba suddenly asked, effectively catching my attention as I looked back at him. He was watching me carefully, waiting for an answer, but I found my cheeks flaming up. It felt weird to be asked such a thing considering how my relationship with Sasuke was going, not to mention that it was one thing to think about us, but another to actually speak about it.

"You know I like him," I uttered, laughing a bit nervously. "He's always been a bit of a bastard, but we practically grew up together, so of course I..."

"That's not what I mean, idiot," Kiba interrupted, rolling his eyes. "I know how you are when you're 'attracted' to someone. You have a little fun, fuck them once, maybe twice and then it's all 'let's go back to being friends'. Have you and Sasuke, you know..."

"No!" I exclaimed, feeling my cheeks burning up even more. "Shit, no, not yet. I mean, we have done a few things, but..."

"You have?!" Kiba's shocked expression was surprising to me, since he was the one who had brought it up.

"Well, yeah," I replied, frowning in confusion. "It wasn't something too extreme, but it was _something._ He was straight up to this point, and even if some things are moving pretty fast between us, I don't want to rush the intimacy, so I'm kind of letting him take the lead whenever he wants to, because that way I know that he wants it of his own accord."

Kiba gapped at me, looking pretty dumb.

"What, exactly, do you mean by 'moving fast'?" He inquired, after a while. I stretched my legs and crossed them at the ankles, placing both my hands on the grass behind me. I looked at Sasuke from the corner of my eyes again.

"I don't really know. It's just that, the more time we spend together the more we bond. Seriously, the bastard is such a fucking great boyfriend, it's ridiculous. Plus, he's a pretty good kisser, too. And pretty good at other things, as well."

"Okay, dude, too much information," Kiba interrupted, sounding disgusted. When I turned my face to him again, he looked slightly nauseated and I couldn't help but grin a bit in amusement. "I can't believe he's actually… you know, being _physical_ ," he admitted, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand a bit awkwardly.

"Oh, he's _very_ physical, alright," I stated, waggling my eyebrows at him jokingly. He made a gagging noise and waved his hand in front of my face, to stop me from being more specific.

"But, this is what I'm talking about," Kiba spat. "You do like him, don't you? You're not patient at all, Naruto, I know you don't deal well with taking things one step at the time, so the fact that you're actually taking the time to let things bloom… seriously, man, if you're investing in this it has to mean that you have to have some kind of feelings for him that aren't caused exclusively by your dick."

I made a face at the crude language but ended up pouting a bit, thoughtfully.

"I haven't really thought about it," I admitted, heaving a small sigh and looking up at the greyish autumn sky above. "Not seriously at least. I suppose I'm investing in this because I feel that it's worth it. Our chemistry as a couple is pretty strong. He challenges me in so many ways, and I'm the first guy he's ever been with. I guess it makes me feel good because he is who he is and I just want to be special in some way, to leave a mark on him."

I breathed in, considering my own words and realizing, not without a bit of surprise, that they sounded incredibly possessive. I suddenly felt horribly messed up. I still didn't know how I felt about Sasuke – how I _really_ felt. "Yeah, I like him. I don't think I'm in love with him, yet. But this just feels so good. I can't explain it, but I want this to work. I want him to want me, and every time we're intimate, I want it to mean something for the both of us. I want him to forget that person, Kiba. I want him to fall in love with me instead." I looked at my friend's serious face again, smiling hesitantly. "I sound like such a weirdo, don't I?"

Kiba bit his lower lip and tensed, shaking his head from side to side. "I don't know," he muttered. "Fuck, this sounds even more messed up than when you first told me about it."

"I know," I replied, huffing. "But I really want to make it work, and he does, too. I know it will, at some point, I can just feel it. It's weird, but I know we can do it. I've never felt so compatible with someone before in my whole life, even if we're two, very different individuals."

Kiba made a clacking, rather annoyed noise with his tongue. "It sounds just perfect and everything, and if you're happy, I'm happy for you. It's just…" he uncrossed his arms and turned to me on the grass, coming a bit closer before pulling one leg to his chest and letting his arm rest on his knee.

He eyed me thoughtfully for a while. Then, his features scrunched up in worry. "Naruto, you're doing this in secret. If… _when_ you decide to tell everybody, things are going to be very complicated. Also…" he trailed off, clearly hesitating for a few seconds, but regaining his courage when I raised my eyebrows at him. "Sasuke hasn't confessed to that person, but imagine that, for some reason, something happens, and he finds out that the person is also in love with him. Then, what? I mean, it's Uchiha fucking Sasuke we're talking about. Everyone and their mothers want something to do with him."

I bit my lip and openly stared at Sasuke's figure. I couldn't really understand the heaviness that seemed to make my heart ache, or the tinge of fear in my stomach.

Sure, I had once said to him that he should pursue his feelings. Before, I even wanted to help him. Before, I thought it'd be okay if he did find shelter in that person's arms. But now… Where the hell had those feelings gone to?

"I don't know who the person is," I whispered, narrowing my eyes at the Uchiha, who was still immersed in his boring looking book. "But loving them makes him suffer. If, for some reason, that has to happen… well, let's just hope it happens before I fall in love with him. I know I'll have to accept it, but I'd rather not be left with a broken heart again."

Kiba simply eyed me morosely. "You should just give it a try at a relationship with someone who actually likes you, for a change," he ended up saying, with an annoyed groan.

I laughed without feeling. "Who? My fan girls and fan boys? Who like me because they have an image of me of a good-looking bad boy that they find so cool? Yeah, Kiba, sure. Because it worked so well for me up until now." I snorted and ran a hand through my hair. "It's just my luck that I always end up liking people who like someone else. Only at least this time, the experience is being exceptionally good. Even if it doesn't last, at least I'll make the best out of it until the very end, no regrets."

Kiba didn't answer, but I could sense his distress. He reached out a hand and ruffled my hair slowly, almost awkwardly as if trying to offer some kind of comfort. I turned my face to him and smiled reassuringly.

"Besides," I proceeded, in lighter tone, "This time, even if Sasuke does like someone else, at least I know that, when he's with me, he doesn't think about that person. He's really _there,_ giving me everything he's got, unlike Sakura-chan or even Haku. For that alone, he's already special to me."

At this, my best friend actually quirked an unconvinced eyebrow upwards at me before heaving a long sigh. He frowned again, his brown eyes scanning my features contemplatively while his fingers raked through my hair gently.

"Do whatever you want," he ended up saying in a low, dead serious tone. "I don't really like what's happening, neither do I like to keep things from the rest of the guys, but if this is what you want, I'll help you in any way I can." He looked deep into my eyes then, pursing his lips together tightly like he always did whenever he was about to say something he knew I wouldn't like to hear. I watched with vague curiosity the abnormal display of confusing emotions on his face until he placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. "But if that bastard ever does anything to hurt you, I'll fucking make him swallow his own teeth before killing him the worst way possible."

I chuckled, only slightly surprised by the aggressiveness in his voice since I knew Kiba could look and sound rather silly sometimes, but he did have a wild and rather protective side to him, too.

"Don't worry, man, I'm sure it'll never come down to that," I replied, patting his knee lightly. "You seem to forget that I've known him since before I even knew you. In spite of our constant bickering, we've always been friends, and he was always someone I could, and can, trust. I have the feeling that this is 'it', Kiba, for real."

My best friend still didn't look convinced, so I grinned even wider. He rolled his eyes and made a face before breaking contact and leaning back with his hands on the ground behind him.

"I hope you're right, that's all I have to say," he mumbled, with a shrug, looking at Sasuke with narrowed, annoyed eyes. "Just don't compromise the time you and I spend together, okay? I seriously don't want to get jealous of that damned pretty boy."

000

Thanks to Kiba's help – not before offering Sasuke a few well-placed threats – Sasuke and I actually managed to see each other more often than usual. It wasn't like my best friend really liked covering up for us, but I would always make sure I'd make it up to him somehow. It was still bothersome to have to find ways to meet my boyfriend several times a day for just a few minutes, but I suppose it was better than nothing. We had to stop our interludes in the warehouses of both our parents' shops after I realized how much of a big mouth Sai, my co-worker, was, but fortunately, our newfound not really excuse that Sasuke was helping me study for the upcoming exams allowed us to be together without much inconvenience. The project we were working on sure as hell helped as well, even if my mother teased me to no end every time we went to each other's places.

It wasn't like I minded my mother being suspicious of our relationship, as long as she didn't voice those suspicions to Sasuke's parents, even as a joke.

Things had gotten considerably better since that weekend we had spent together. Sasuke was more determined than ever; he wanted to move forward with me, his defenses completely down, and that made me feel incredibly accomplished. It felt like we were getting closer and closer the more time we spent together. If I had to complain about anything in our relationship it was the fact that we had to hide it from the others.

Also…

It had been one month and three weeks since Uchiha Sasuke had been supposedly 'single'. He hadn't been single for more than two weeks at most during the last year, so his public abstinence was clearly being noticed and generating all sorts of unwanted rumors. It didn't help that most people were noticing my 'abstinence' as well.

I don't talk about it much, but I kind of used to fool around quite a bit. Well, it wasn't like I would just fuck anyone and everything that moved but I used to go out at night quite a lot with Kiba and the guys, and my nights usually ended up in the company of someone. It wasn't like I always had sex, but _stuff_ definitely happened.

I only had three long term relationships before Sasuke came along. The first one was with a guy – the guy that took my virginity and made me realize that I was probably different from other people. Then, there was Sakura-chan, and finally, Haku. All three of these individuals I came to love, but things didn't work in my favor for one reason or another.

From then on, I did date both girls and guys, but those never lasted long. I was always a good guy, but that didn't mean I had to be some kind of prince charming. I was always too rude, too loud, too impatient, too energetic, too eager, too happy, too affectionate, too much. The complaints about me seemed never ending. It pissed me off. So, I kind of sometimes settled for sex partners with whom I'd spend a few days with, no strings attached. It always surprised me how easily people my age (and older) settled for sex with 'no strings attached'.

Was I happy about this? Not really. I didn't like being seen as a stud, I didn't like to be with people just for sex or for company, but I guess that, at some point, I was hoping that, somewhere in the middle, someone amazing would appear who would want to stay and who would genuinely like me for who I was.

And out of the blue, both Sasuke and I, (two of the most solicited guys in our high school) were apparently free and, strangely enough, both wanting to remain as such. Everyone was shocked. I often saw Sasuke rejecting girls, and even I had to constantly turn down many offers. Sometimes, people I had previously been with would text me suggestively, wondering where I was and why I wasn't interested in 'having fun' anymore.

Did I miss actual sex? Yes, of course, just like I was sure Sasuke did, too. But I had always been as faithful as faithful could get, and when I said I was dating someone, I wouldn't even dream of doing anything with someone else. Besides, I was pretty content with what Sasuke and I did together, and even though I used to be pretty impatient, all I wanted was for Sasuke and me to take things slowly until he was ready – and willing – to go further. He was, by far, the most attractive and compatible partner I'd ever had, and no matter how horny I might be, I would wait for him because it was what I wanted.

Unavoidably, all sorts of rumors were spreading throughout school about the both of us. Some were just stupid, like the one that said that Sasuke was still in love with Sakura-chan but had some ulterior, dramatic/romantic reason to break up with her – which really only got Sakura-chan's hopes of getting back together with him up – or the one that said that I had caught some kind of STD, and that was why I was keeping myself away from people. Those who had been with me knew I was all about safety first, though. Plus, I hadn't been that much of social whore, but people believed whatever they wanted.

There were other rumors, too, some a bit more accurate, like the one that said Sasuke had turned gay and was currently dating _me_. From what I heard, people had started to joke about it because someone had seen that kiss at McDonald's, but no one really considered it to be the truth because we were still rivals, we still bickered for the sake of appearances, and everything was as normal as normal could be for the public eye.

It still didn't stop the fact that we were actually making out like crazy whenever and wherever we had the chance. And fuck, little details aside, it was awesome.

000

No one but Kiba – and probably Itachi, but he wasn't around to tease us – really knew that it was mine and Sasuke's two-month anniversary. As a result, I practically forced my best friend to lend me his black motorcycle so I could take Sasuke out on a semi-date, even if it was a weekday.

It was already around eight p.m. by the time I picked Sasuke up from his parents' store (since he had been the one to close it that day). He was ready for me, of course, wearing warm clothes, a thick black leather jacket and a dark blue scarf. He had his school backpack with him as well and I rolled my eyes at him. I had honestly prayed that he'd forget about his persistence on absolutely having to do our homework, date or no date. Still, I was glad I had brought my own books along, as well, or I'd never hear the end of it. I gave him my helmet because Kiba didn't have a spare one, and in spite of Sasuke's protests, he eventually ended up putting it on.

The night was cold but windless, and the sky seemed relatively clean, reason why I had considered that it'd be a good chance to go by bike. I drove us to a small dine-in I had been wanting to try for a while, and Sasuke seemed pleased by it, especially because it was a quiet place.

We chose a cozy booth by the window on the far end of the room and sat in front of each other, placing our belongings on the available space of the long wooden bench. We ordered a couple of Cokes and Sasuke immediately fished out his books and pencil to get started on homework, glaring at me as if reminding me that I was supposed to do the same, and so I did. For a while, I just stared at his focused expression and on the way he just seemed to know every damned answer by heart. Even if this was something that used to annoy me in the past, by then, it kind of brought a fuzzy feeling of pride.

With a small smile, I got to work as well. It didn't take long for me to start struggling with stuff and for him – ever the attentive, perceptive guy – to ask if I needed any help. He would never let me copy his homework, but he always did his best to help me get things done properly, genuinely wanting me to learn, and that truly helped me as far as schoolwork was concerned.

We spent an hour doing our homework together. Once we finished, we both ordered sandwiches for dinner, me going for something juicy and greasy, Sasuke opting for something more on the vegetarian side, since he was already having fries.

We did some casual chatting over our meals, teasing each other and sometimes playing with our food, our legs touching under the table. Then, the sound of droplets hitting the glass beside us shook us from our playful antics.

"Aw, man, and I was thinking about taking you to the riverside!" I complained, watching as the rain seemed to pour down more intensely, blurring the view to the outside. "Damn it."

"This means we have to wait for the rain to stop, or we're going to be drenched on our way home," Sasuke stated casually, picking up his mobile phone, which had been resting on the table within his reach. "I'm going to text my mom and let her know."

"Yeah, me too."

We both texted our moms in silence, Sasuke finishing the rest of his sandwich as he typed – he was such a slow eater, I had already finished mine ages ago.

After that, he used a napkin to wipe his mouth and fingers with and pushed the papers and wrappings of his finished food aside. He looked calm, but suddenly very professional-like. I could see it in the way his back straightened, and I knew that some serious shit was coming my way. Whenever he got that look in his eyes, I couldn't help but tense up. Some part of me, I suppose, was always fearing that Sasuke might decide he wanted to pursue the person he liked or that he might not want to be with me anymore because I wasn't doing it for him. The way we dealt with each other stated otherwise, but one never knew.

"So, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," he started, folding his fingers and placing his hands on the table.

"Okay," I mumbled hesitantly. "Don't look so serious, you're sort of freaking me out."

He quirked an eyebrow up at me. "You seriously have to stop being paranoid."

"I can't help it that I don't want you to break up with me!" I defended, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back in my seat.

"I don't want to break up with you, moron," Sasuke replied, slightly exasperated. "Just... can I speak?"

"Yeah, sorry," I mumbled, internally feeling a little bit relieved, but also annoyed at myself for still managing to be paranoid about our relationship. "I'm listening."

Sasuke was silent for a while, as if to make sure I wouldn't open my mouth again, before speaking. "Okay, so. I've been wondering. You know how you're always saying that you don't bottom?"

I made a confused face. "Yeah?"

"Do you say that because you tried it but don't like it, or because you've always been a top and don't want to give that role up?"

Seriously, the topic he had chosen was surprising to say the least and, to be honest, not one I liked to approach very often.

"Is this conversation really necessary?" I inquired, shifting a bit and making Sasuke snort.

"What do you think?" he asked sarcastically.

Well, he had a point. We weren't really on that stage of our relationship yet, even though we had evolved quite a lot since that weekend, not to mention that Sasuke was definitely a fast learner. However, some things had to be discussed, no doubt about it, especially if I wanted things to progress. Sasuke was my boyfriend, my lover, and he had the right to ask questions if he wanted where it concerned him, even if it made me feel uncomfortable.

"Well, I _have_ bottomed before," I admitted, slowly. "Actually, I bottomed the first time I had sex with a guy." Sasuke's eyebrows rose at that, but he remained silent, listening intently. "The thing is, it's not that I dislike it, exactly. I mean, the guy, my first boyfriend, and the person who made me realize I wasn't straight, was kind of older than me at the time, and he was... well, he was pretty good and made me feel good, too. But I _always_ bottomed. Always. Also, he was very... I suppose _dominant_ is the word. Yeah, he was too dominant, and wanted complete control of the situation."

"And it made you feel uncomfortable," Sasuke said, perceptively.

"Very," I agreed. "You know me; I'm always restless and like to be an active participant. Even without having ever topped, and not even knowing shit about sex, I knew back then I didn't want to be a bottom forever. I was curious and wanted to try other things, too, you know?"

"And you told that to the guy?"

"Yeah," I shrugged my shoulders. "He wasn't very happy and not very willing to compromise, so eventually, in my frustration, we broke up. No big deal." I shook feeling a bit resentful at the memory. "After that I never bottomed again."

"Because you didn't want to?" My boyfriend pressed on, carefully.

I felt my muscles tense even more at that, but Sasuke's foot was touching my leg, rubbing it gently in a soothing way, and it actually made me feel a lot better for some reason.

"Not really." I swallowed hard, looking at him a little shyly, because talking about bottoming really was something I didn't usually do at all. "The situation didn't present itself, I guess. All my male partners were natural bottoms, so I was lucky."

It was Sasuke's turn to look a bit out of his comfort zone. "So, why are you always saying you don't bottom?" he asked in a low voice. "I mean, bottoming a few times isn't the same as being submitted to that role forever."

I sighed again, allowing my own foot to touch his leg back so as to silently let him know that it was fine, that the conversation wasn't as much a big deal as it seemed, even though my body language probably made it look like it was.

"The way that guy made me feel..." I cleared my throat. "The great sex couldn't make up for the emotional and physical submission he put me through. I never want to feel that way again, like I'm inferior. I felt so absurdly..."

"Emasculated?" Sasuke finished for me, offering a small smile.

"Yeah," I smiled back. "I don't blame him, you know. It's a mindset. I understand that craving for control, and I understand why some people like to give that control up to someone else, but I don't know, some people like being submissive, some don't. Maybe I was just too young. I don't know."

Sasuke nodded solemnly. He extended his hand over the table, turning it upwards with a clear request, so I grabbed for it, my arm tingling pleasantly at the touch and my smile becoming bigger like it always did when Sasuke offered me public displays of affection.

"Anyway, what's with the curiosity?" I asked, brightening up once I saw that he had no intentions of asking any further questions, or even more personal ones. Not that I'd mind answering them, but I really didn't feel like talking about the past, or my past lovers for that matter.

Sasuke looked down at our joined hands seriously, his thumb caressing my knuckles. "I bought lube and condoms the other day."

My smile froze almost instantly as surprise took over me once more.

Well… that was… _something_.

"Okay..." I muttered carefully. "Why?"

He huffed in annoyance, cheeks gaining an interesting shade of pink while his eyes were still not really meeting mine. "Do I always have to spell everything out for you?"

Suddenly I felt like grinning because he looked… well, _cute_ wasn't exactly the word one could ever use for someone like him, but it was definitely endearing.

"To see you blush like that, hell yeah, you do," I teased, brushing my fingers over his palm.

He closed his eyes, clearly annoyed, and took a few sharp intakes of breath through his nose. Then, he opened them and looked up, straight at me, with a look of what I assumed was supposed to be confident and honest but ended up being a bit superior, and I almost laughed at him before thinking that maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

"I want to have sex," he said, straightforward and a bit unintentionally brusquely. Then, realizing that his words seemed a bit off, he added, "With you."

I have to admit that the way he had said it though, with certainty and without blinking made my stomach jump pleasantly and my pants feel oddly tight.

"Oh..." I said stupidly, not knowing what else to say. If it had been the old me, I would've probably thought something along the lines of 'hell yeah, it's about time!', but, for some reason, when it came to Sasuke I felt excited and a little intimidated. It was all so new still and I didn't want to fuck anything up. However, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't happy that he felt like it was time to move on.

"I know I'm ready to do it," the Uchiha proceeded, not disturbed by my lack of verbal feedback. "I also know that we won't have the chance to do it anytime soon, but still, I wanted you to know that I'm okay with it."

I nodded. "Alright." My fingers moved forward slowly until they invaded the sleeve of his dark red sweater so I could caress the skin of his wrist. "That's good news, right?"

He bit his lip, his feet becoming restless.

"Look," he sighed, looking down again with a frown, the blush becoming more intense in spite of the steady words. "The thing is, having been straight up until now, I've always been a top, obviously, but I don't oppose to bottoming for you. In fact, I think I should be on the receiving end during our first time since you're the experienced one. It's just... I don't want to be _the_ bottom."

I watched him closely, admiring the flick of emotions on his handsome face.

"I don't want us to have fixed roles," he proceeded, not waiting for a reply, as if scared that I might say something before he finished. "I'm as curious about bottoming as I am about topping, but if you're going to fuck me, I will want to fuck you, as well. You know I don't give without taking, Naruto. We started this as equals, and I expect our entire relationship to be like that, no matter which role you prefer or which one _I_ will come to prefer." He eyed me again, looking (unintentionally once more, I supposed) stubborn. "No matter what happens, even if I end up hating bottoming, I am willing to switch if you are."

To say that I was almost rendered speechless by what was being said to me was an understatement. Of course, I didn't expect him to take sex with another guy lightly, least of all bottoming, but I didn't expect him to be so _balanced_ about it, either. I had always imagined that we'd fight over who topped when the time came or something. It was weird how absolutely awkward the conversation was and how it seemed to take some invisible weight off my shoulders.

"Sasuke..."

He lifted his free hand in a gesture meant to stop me from speaking until he was finished.

"However, I would rather not add real sex to this at all if it's going to disturb the balance between us," he finished. "I don't want to compromise our relationship as it is now if it'll make you feel emasculated, or if it's going to bring up unnecessary issues."

I blinked at him dumbly, processing the words. "Wow, you really gave this a lot of thought, didn't you?" I replied, once he showed no signs of continuing his monologue.

"Of course," he answered firmly, but I noticed his hand was sweating. "Who wouldn't?"

I smiled at him, managing to successfully make his features relax.

"When did you realize that you were ready for real sex with me?" I asked calmly, reaching out to run the knuckle of my index finger over his jaw, the action causing his eyes to soften. Only then did I realize that this issue of roles in sex might've been plaguing him for a while because he had clearly been concerned and worried about how I might react and what I might say.

"I've been reading about this for a while; you know, to wrap my mind around the general theory of anal sex and all that," he explained, in a lighter tone. "And then, the other day, when we were kissing in the bathroom, at school I just... I don't know, I felt this impulse that just told me that I wouldn't back down if we had the chance to go all the way."

He seemed eager to see my expression now, looking curious and a bit hopeful, and I felt my heart sink with some undefined but strong emotion.

"So, you really want it?" I murmured, letting my knuckle brush his lips gently.

Said lips were pressed to my finger, dark eyes never leaving mine. "Yes."

If I could, I think I would've had my way with him right then and there. Instead, I allowed my smile to grow and I considered that I had to be as honest about it as he had been.

"Listen, I... me saying that I wouldn't bottom was just for teasing, to see how you'd react, what you'd say," I confessed, chuckling a bit. "I know you have a dominant side, but I also know that you don't use that dominance to make me submit, you just use it to rile me up, to trigger the adrenaline in me, so it's fine, I like that." He offered me a small smirk in return. "We're both investing so much in this, Sasuke, you really think I'd blow it by being prissy about who tops or bottoms?"

"I don't know, you seemed so certain," he said, his mood improving. "But we have to trust each other like we've been doing up until now."

"I know, and I do trust you," I confirmed, truthfully. "That's why you don't have to bottom on our first time, I know you'll do your best and..."

"I want to bottom," he interrupted, leaving no room for arguments, effectively making my throat run dry. "I need to know what it feels like if I want to do it properly when I top." He had it all figured out, hadn't he? Well, that was a relief.

"Are you sure?" I still felt the need to inquire, making a teasing unconvinced face at him. "I mean, you'll be giving up your anal virginity to me. Bottoming can be pretty embarrassing."

"As long as you don't treat me like a girl or make me feel like one, I'll be fine. I trust you, too." He had said it so simply but with so much fucking certainty it was breath-taking.

For a few seconds, we just stared at each other. Sasuke had grabbed my other hand in his and we played with each other's fingers for a while, our legs intertwining and kicking slightly at each other. Somehow, it felt like nothing had really changed, but at the same time, something had definitely been improved. I wanted to kiss him and hopefully get a bit of groping and rubbing going on as well, and if the way he was eyeing me was any indication, he was feeling the same way.

"I was thinking… we'll have to try out a few things before we get to the real thing," I reminded him. "I really don't want you to freak out when the time comes."

"I'm not opposed to that." He smirked, seductively. "It's too bad it's raining, though. The riverside is pretty quiet and reserved, isn't it? And here I was looking forward to some private time with you."

I swallowed hard. Damn bastard. "You're such a fucking tease, Uchiha, you know that?"

He laughed at me, but I didn't take it in a bad way. I was more than used to it, only now I didn't instantly see it as a personal attack. In fact, I loved it when he laughed easily like that, even if it was at the expense of my sexual misery.

"You know," he started, sobering up and intertwining the fingers of both hands with mine. "I think we should tell the rest of our friends about us. It's becoming really frustrating that we have to hide all the time, and I think that, after two whole months, we can safely assume we'll last a couple more, no?"

I think if I could smile more than I already was, my face would be ripped in half or something.

"If that's what you want," I agreed happily. "How about Sakura-chan? Should we tell her?"

Expectedly, Sasuke frowned thoughtfully. "I don't want to hurt her, Naruto. She's still too hooked up on me. She keeps texting me, inviting me everywhere and asking me if I think she smells good or looks nice." He groaned. "But if we tell her just like that, she'll end up resenting both of us. I'll just tell my gang, you tell yours, and we'll leave it at that. Let's go slow with her."

"Sure," I agreed, glad that he thought the same as me.

After all, Sakura was a childhood friend, and even though Sasuke had never really fallen in love with her, I knew he cared enough to not want to hurt her feelings. Although, I suspected that it would happen anyway, but of course, it'd be better if she didn't get to know it in such an abrupt way.

Either way, it felt good to know that I'd be able to tell the rest of my friends about us, but more than that, I was ecstatic that Sasuke considered our relationship strong enough for him to deem it worthy of telling his friends as well.

Man, the guy was going to make me fall hard.

"Sooo, can I go there and kiss the hell out of you now?" I asked eagerly.

Sasuke made a little pout before liking his lips. "I thought you'd never ask."

TBC…


	12. Chapter Twelve - Itachi & Sasuke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I did on FF.NET, I started adding titles to the chapters that are Itachi/Sasuke-centric just so you guys know what to expect. This one doesn't have anything particular, but the warning stays all the same.
> 
> WARNINGS: Itachi's POV (all hail the king *drools*), Itachi/Sasuke (I guess). Incestuous feelings and situations. You can skip it if it's not your cup of tea.
> 
> Not Betaed.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Twelve**

_**Itachi's POV** _

There are times in life when everything you ever thought you knew becomes blurry. It's an undeniable fact, and it happens to every single human being more than once in their existence. When it happens, you either lose your track or you take a deep breath and force yourself to reevaluate your perception of things you once thought to be immutable.

At 22 years of age, I had been through that situation far too many times, which was probably the reason why some people saw me as this composed, mature young man with his feet firmly on the ground. One could blame this capacity of self-assessment on my upbringing since my father had always taught Sasuke and myself to be strong, unbeatable people who should never allow ourselves to be ridiculed, hurt or looked down upon by anyone. I suppose this made us both seem distant and slightly cold.

Our father was a strict man as far as moral and traditional values went, but he was also understanding and wished to see his sons happy more than anything.

Both my parents always had high hopes for me. They hadn't exactly pressured me into being something I didn't want to - they had simply directed me towards something that would give me prestige because they wanted what was best for me. I know that, by choosing to become an actor, I had violently shattered their dreams and promptly rejected them, but in the end, they had been forced to accept my decision.

Those were difficult times for me, who had to listen over and over again my parents begging for me to reconsider and think about my future.

When Sasuke decided that he wanted to start his career as a model, mother and father held their breaths and readied themselves for the blow that was about to come. However, by the time Sasuke stated that he wanted to pursue it seriously and, later on, give it a try at acting, he didn't have to deal with half the commotion I had dealt with. I didn't resent him, though – I was happy that my rebellion had made life easier for him.

Both Sasuke and I had very high IQs. Personally, I knew my little brother was capable of achieving anything he pursued, but if I had a say in the matter, of course I'd rather that he'd taken another route and make something huge of himself as a doctor, businessman, astronaut or something mighty of the sort. Modelling and acting were rough paths to take.

Never once did I think of myself as being smarter than my younger brother. Sasuke was highly intelligent, sometimes more than he allowed himself to show. He was the calculating type of person who never took a single step without considering the pros and cons, but he was also very emotional – something most people wouldn't believe – and that was definitely a vulnerability of his because, more often than not, certain things triggered his more impulsive and reckless side and made him do unthoughtful things. Not many people were able to awaken this side of him enough to see it, though. He was a living contradiction, but I suppose that's what made him so fascinating in the eyes of those around him. Being handsome, very straightforward and slightly arrogant turned him into an intense person, and yet, he wasn't one to show his true self easily. There was so much of him he usually kept to himself that it was blatantly obvious that he had much more to show, and that lured people to him unintentionally.

Sasuke and I had always been close. I had always been a quiet, rather lonely child that only played with kids from my family, so when he was born, I was thrilled that I had my own relative to take care of and play with. At the age of five, I held him, changed his diapers and fed him as much as I could under my mother's attentive supervision. Seeing his first steps and hearing him say his first words were a joy for me because it was the beginning of a different kind of interaction. Hearing him say my name and speak to me had been fascinating. Seeing him grow up and become an adoring pain in the ass was one of the best things that have ever happened to me.

I guess that, as a big brother, I always looked at him as someone I had to protect and take care of. Of course, somewhere at the beginning of his adolescence, we did go through rocky times when we wanted to annoy each other. Now that I think about it, it was Naruto's fault – he enjoyed pulling pranks and would convince Sasuke that they should use me as a guinea pig. Sasuke found it so entertaining that he started pranking me even when Naruto wasn't around, so I paid him back in the same coin, which took my little brother by surprise.

Those were fun times, but there was so much yelling around the house I'm surprised our parents didn't go crazy.

Age caused us both to mature and focus more on studying and on figuring out what we wanted as individuals. We became closer yet again, even if Sasuke's easy-going, more playful nature had died a bit to become more serious, more introspective. I still wanted to be there for him, still wanted to be a part of his personal growth.

We would talk, sometimes for hours and he'd ask me questions and tell me all about his dreams, his fears and things that frightened him. Sometimes, he would tell me about things that he loved – music, books – and he'd show me everything as if he wanted me to grasp his feelings, to feel the way he felt about them. That's when I felt that we were the closest.

Sometimes, he would climb in bed with me and we'd sleep side by side. I'd watch his slumbering form, feeling some kind of inner peace in the fact that my eyes could witness he was alive, well and healthy.

I never truly considered my feelings for Sasuke. I knew I loved him because he was my brother, and those feelings were always _there_ , strong and unchangeable. My love was silent, yet unconditional. He was the person I cared about the most in the world, and that was something I had embraced from the day I first saw him outside our mother's womb. I didn't have to constantly say it or think about it to understand this, and neither did I feel like I needed to reassure Sasuke constantly because our bond was that strong and I was certain he acknowledged it.

Leaving for Tokyo was like a breath of fresh air for me, but at the same time, it was difficult because life as I knew it was over. The constant presence of my family, that gentle complicity I had with Sasuke; all of it gone when I started my life as an independent man. When I first began auditioning for small parts and feeling the overwhelming pressure was when I felt the most that I desperately needed support.

It wasn't difficult to find someone to bed in the environment I was in. At nineteen, I found myself being forced to rethink my priorities and the way I saw certain things. I was forced to confront my sexuality and how I planned to balance it with my emotional well-being and my profession. Shisui was there for me, as a friend, as a constant source of strength and, more often than not, as a non-official lover.

As an actor, one needs to free themselves of prejudices and simple issues most human beings have, like touching, kissing, crying, screaming, being in front of crowds and being naked. Being physical and emotional is normal, but in order for one to maintain their sanity, they have to understand how to separate work from the person they are when acting.

I soon realized that most aspiring actors often became consumed by their roles. They immersed themselves in their characters' personalities so deeply that even socially they maintained the ticks and demeanors. I could understand why and how this happened. I could understand wanting to succeed that much, especially when I was often looked down upon for being good-looking. 'Looks don't buy talent' were words I often listened to, and that only made me work harder every day to be taken seriously and prove myself.

I worked hard at school and hard at my part-time job, and then I went home to my ridiculously small apartment at the time and I kept pressuring myself to do more, spending countless hours in front of a mirror and practicing expressions, tones of voice and gestures.

When I did indulge to have a bit of time for myself, I either slept, hung out with Shisui (who could always take my mind off things) or called home. More specifically, I called Sasuke.

Weeks turned to months and I missed him. I always felt like talking to him but would refrain from doing so, afraid that I'd bore him to the point where he wouldn't carry that happy tone to his voice whenever I called.

Sasuke would always ask me how things were going. Telling him about my adventures always made my heart feel lighter and life seem so much easier. I loved listening to him telling me how his grades were still the best of his year and how annoyed he was at his fangirls and at Naruto being a 'constant idiot'. He would tell me about everything new in his life. Whether it was about sex, girlfriends, breaking some rules, he would tell me everything.

This was when I resented not being there for him the most, because he had no one he could talk to about these things, no grown up to confide in. I knew he had to live, to experience things for himself, but I wished I could've been there to support him, to guide him. This being said, I always told him to have fun but to do it carefully; to behave himself and know his limits. I told him I trusted him, and he would always tell me not to worry, that he would never do anything to disappoint me.

Of course, I believed him. Sasuke was far too proud to do something he himself might feel ashamed of.

I seldom went home, but when I did, I made sure to spend as much time with my family as I could.

At the age of twenty, I finally had my first role in television. I was lucky that the show itself was a huge success, and my part, even if small, gave me the spotlight and the connections I needed. I started making more money as the media's interest in me grew. I could finally afford to invite Sasuke to spend his vacations with me in Tokyo. His presence made me the happiest I had been in two years and I introduced him to everything and everyone. I wanted him to know my world and I wanted the people around me to know my little brother. He was becoming quite the gorgeous, confident young man, so it was only natural that someone would notice it. I couldn't be prouder of him. To show him that I trusted him, I indulged his occasional drinking and smoking, because he was quite responsible, not to mention that, if he had to do it, at least I'd prefer that he'd do so under my supervision.

The next couple of years were busy for me. I had gotten myself a major role for a famous soap opera, and before I knew it, I needed a manager because I couldn't handle the media showering me with demands.

Regardless, I always had time – and money – for Sasuke.

I genuinely felt happy that he was being so solicited in his career as a model, not to mention that I loved having him around. We always had a lot of fun, and it was clear to me that he loved modelling and the hectic life of Tokyo. Even with my busy schedule, I tried to spend time with him and be with him when he had to work. I often wished that he'd make life easier for himself and move in with me – since I had purchased a bigger apartment thinking about how he needed his own place to sleep.

Although, if I must be honest, I was being selfish as well. I _wanted_ him with me. I wanted to make sure he had everything he wanted – what someone precious like him deserved.

Don't get me wrong; it wasn't as though I wanted Sasuke to be spoiled and not have to work for himself, far from it. But Sasuke had always been extremely hard-working - maybe an effect of his upbringing, maybe influenced by me or maybe it was just his character - so I knew he would never take the good things in life for granted. I simply didn't want to ever go through difficult times in his life if I could avoid it.

Sasuke, however, was a difficult person. His pride, just like mine, was way too big. He wasn't the type of person who was particularly interested in dispendious or glamorous things even if they fascinated him. I often wondered if he enjoyed the expensive gifts I gave him or if he accepted them to not hurt my feelings. Either way, I always felt joy when I saw him using or wearing the things I bought him.

Sasuke loved money, not because he wanted to be rich, but because it provided safety and represented means to ends.

If there was one thing my brother had been clear about from a young age was that money couldn't buy him nor force him to do something he didn't want to. When his mind was set on something, he would stay faithful to his own wishes and ideals.

I don't know exactly when things started to change between the two of us. I noticed his tenseness around me and how he seemed to hold back whenever we talked. He became more snappish, more arrogant and less open. He seemed to push me away without really wanting me gone.

What had become more obvious, however, was how he hesitated when it came to physical contact. For someone who used to hug me easily and slip into my bed at night, the newfound tenseness in his body whenever I approached him was strange.

He suddenly started dating people on and off, and he would tell me this with an odd detached coldness. I didn't understand what was wrong with him, because, even if I knew he'd had sex and an occasional fling, he wasn't the kind of person who'd give himself so easily and thoughtlessly. I became worried about him, and yet, I trusted that this was something he needed to do, somehow.

When he decided that dating Naruto was a good idea it felt, to me, that Sasuke was simply trying to find his place. I realized that he was lost and needed _something_ , someone to ground him. I knew him better than anyone else and I understood that he was hurting from the way he had spoken to me when he told me the news, even if he had put on a quite a show being nonchalant.

It was the fact that I knew he wasn't telling me everything that angered me.

But Naruto, it seemed, actually gave Sasuke the light he needed to not feel so adrift. When they were together, Naruto somehow managed to monopolize Sasuke's attention completely and, one way or another, Sasuke was content - that was, apparently, what he needed. It all seemed so simple in their heads, but to me, there was a distinct feeling of something more, right from the start. I couldn't understand if it was just attraction, but there was definitely affection, and in Naruto I saw genuine will to make Sasuke happy. And Sasuke, of course, seemed to want to make Naruto's time worth it.

I could only understand a small part of this. In my mind, I kept thinking about a particular day back home, when the whole family had gathered and the Namikaze had been invited. I was fifteen. For some idiotic reason, Sasuke and Naruto started an absurd fistfight out of nowhere, away from our families' view. Shisui and I were nearby, and we were ready to break them off when, all of sudden, they stopped, the blond straddling my brother's waist. They traded a few insults before Naruto got up, extended his hand to Sasuke, who took it, and helped him to his feet. Later on, we'd end up finding them in the bathroom, treating each other's wounds.

_Those two are going to hook up some day, mark my words,_ Shisui had said as joke.

I was happy that Naruto was taking care of my brother. I was happy that Sasuke didn't seem that confused, at least when they were together. But, a part of me felt empty. Especially because not even Sasuke's contentment helped him change his behavior with around me.

Sasuke had been drifting away from me, and that only seemed more pronounced now that he and Naruto were together.

I liked Naruto; he was like a little brother to me. I had never meant to see him as some kind of threat, and yet, he arrived at a time when things couldn't be more complicated between Sasuke and me.

I didn't want to lose my brother. I knew that, at some point, Sasuke would have to grow up, become an adult and make his own decisions, follow his own path, by himself, without my help.

Again, I knew I was being selfish, but the thought seemed foreign to me. It felt as if by giving up Sasuke to life, to love, I would be like giving _him_ up. In what sense, I couldn't explain.

I couldn't wrap my mind around these stupid thoughts. I couldn't understand why I couldn't simply be happy for him.

I always knew what to do and how to feel. I always understood my own heart, my own mind, my own actions and yet, I felt jealous and didn't know how to handle that emotion. I understood why that happened, though - I didn't want to be pushed aside.

Despite knowing me better than anyone else, Sasuke didn't understand my feelings. He thought that, when we were apart, I was always too busy to think about him, to truly care. He said he needed space, that he looked at me differently and that he needed to sort himself out. A part of me could grasp his needs, another didn't want to.

Probably because I saw through him and it upset me.

His words had hurt.

Maybe it was my fault for seeming so carefree and accepting. I did care. I thought about him every single day. Every time I stepped inside my apartment, I would always imagine that he'd be there, lying on the couch with a book in his hands, frowning at me and saying 'you're fucking late'.

I longed for his presence every single day of my life. I had too many 'friends', but none of them were relevant to me. Sasuke probably thought I said and did things looking at him as if he were a little kid. He probably thought I felt condescending towards him, and perhaps that had been my mistake. I simply didn't know how to make him feel like we were close anymore. I didn't know what to say or do to ease both our minds.

He made it clear that I didn't understand him. I didn't. It annoyed me that I couldn't understand why he seemed to cling to his relationship with Naruto so strongly, as if he needed it. I looked at him and he seemed helpless, unsure. It was as if he was telling me to back off and at the same time, begging me to not leave him.

In a strange way, I felt like, no matter how much I was pushed away, his eyes kept looking for mine, making sure I wouldn't look away.

When we talked on the roof, there was a moment, at some point, where I was looking at him, trying to read him, and my heart jumped uncomfortably inside my chest. There had been something in his eyes as he looked back that I knew wasn't supposed to be there. It was intense and desperate, and it made him look both beautiful and pitiful. The violent pull I felt then took me off guard.

I hadn't meant to lean in and invade his personal space, but before I could stop myself I was touching him and feeling the wild rhythm of his pulse and we were dangerously close.

Confusion and awe took over me, even if I didn't show it. Fascination coursed through me as I realized that I was making his heart beat faster and causing his breath to become ragged.

_I just want Itachi,_ he had said. _I don't need anything else from you._

And then, all sorts of things had hit me at the same time. In my own astonishment, all I wanted was to hug him to my chest and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but then again, what right did I have to say it? What could I say, or do, to ensure it?

I felt an overwhelming wave of feelings for him at that moment- He was so deviously handsome, and he was giving himself to another man. For the first time, I realized that that this disturbed me greatly and that I had been blinded by denial, my perfect brother persona having pretended to accept it and be alright with it.

My love for Sasuke was supposed to be quiet, consistent, safe. It was supposed to be kind, giving and forgiving, chaste.

It wasn't.

My rational mind knew what the safest route was. I knew that I should step away and give him space, give him what he needed, and I told him so.

But, in the end, a dark part of me I had neglected simply needed to make some sort of statement, so I kissed the corner of his mouth because it wasn't as childish as kissing his cheek would've been, but it was meaningful enough to cause an impact.

Sasuke was mad, and hurt, I could see that. But I didn't know what I was feeling or how to handle my own feelings, let alone his. I hadn't been tactful at all, and I couldn't help but wonder how much of it hadn't been purposeful to rattle him.

I ended summoning my best acting skills and pretending that I wasn't highly moved by that pull that was binding us in such a strange, uncommon way. I made myself play my own character, and yet, I ended up saying even more confusing things, causing my most precious person to feel even more devastated.

I couldn't lose him. That was all I knew.

Why was I doing such a thing? Why was I trying to hint at something if I had no idea what to do or how to feel? What, exactly, was I even hinting at?

"I almost kissed him," I told Shisui, on our drive home. "Sasuke, I mean."

Shisui merely sighed and patted my shoulder in commiseration. "Well, be prepared, because you just opened the gates to your own, personal hell."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice hoarse as an acute pain pierced my chest.

Shisui leaned back on his seat and turned his face to look at me with a deadly serious frown.

"There are certain things you can't run away from, Itachi," he said simply. "It's only a matter of time before they catch up to you."

000

It was night-time and I was sitting on my bed in my apartment, back against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of me, my laptop resting on top of my thighs. I had just received an e-mail from Kurenai-san with a file containing the selected and edited pictures Orochimaru-sama had taken of Sasuke. Apparently, the man had been so pleased he was thinking about dedicating a corner of his next exhibit to just Sasuke. I wasn't sure if I should feel proud or worried. My protective instincts weren't pleased by an old man's interest in Sasuke.

I picked up my glass of red wine from my nightstand and took a sip, feeling terribly tired. Shooting the movie was extenuating, not to mention that the schedules were absolutely ridiculous, but I was enjoying myself, and was thankful that we were now shooting in a place not too far from where I lived so I could go home and rest. I would need to travel in a few days, but for now, I just wanted to enjoy the comfort of my own place as much as I could.

"Shisui, could you bring me some more wine?" I called out, opening the file so I could see the pictures.

_"Sure, just gimme a sec so I can open a new bottle!"_ Shisui said, from the living room. The melody he had been playing in his guitar ceased. I downed the rest of my wine in one go, somehow feeling like I needed it before opening the first picture.

I held the glass close my chest as my eyes stared at the image, some sort of heaviness I wasn't familiar with settling in my heart. I stared at it unblinkingly, my eyes roaming from Sasuke's intense face to the elegant but masculine contours of his naked, painted body. His figure blended in with the earthy picture on the wall behind him and it was as if he was a wild creature, camouflaged, and still, his presence stood out spectacularly, his eyes oddly clear in the dim lights, feral.

I shifted a bit, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. Heat ran through my body and I didn't like it. I could feel my lungs struggling, my breath stuck in my throat.

No matter how aware I was of how beautiful Sasuke, it was as if a part of me couldn't cope with the fact because I always found myself amazed by him.

"This is probably good, looks expensive," Shisui chirped, entering the room with the bottle and his own already filled glass in hand. I extended mine to him and he poured the drink, peaking at the image in my laptop. "Oh, that's Sasuke-chan, isn't it?"

"I'm not sure the _'chan'_ applies to him anymore," I said monotonously. "But yeah, this was from the photo shoot he did a while ago." Looking back at the screen, I pressed my lips tightly shut as Shisui settled the bottle of wine down on the nightstand and sat down next to me.

"Wow, the kid's got it," Shisui offered, sounding truly impressed. "I mean, I don't know if I should think of the picture as beautiful or just plain hot. The photo is gorgeous, but he complements it perfectly."

I made a sound with the back of my throat and too another sip of the wine. "He's your cousin and you're almost ten years older than him. It's disturbing that you speak of him like that."

"Whatever," Shisui dismissed, elbowing me. "You think he's hot, too, so shut up. And change the damn picture, I want to see the rest of them!"

I swallowed, not finding the will to reply and did as I was told.

Each picture was different from the other, some were simple, others more serious, while others were unintentionally sensual to a degree I had not been expecting. It wasn't as if Sasuke had posed for that effect, but the details of his body and his body language were enough. The piercings, just as Orochimaru-sama had said, certainly gave him a new allure and a more aggressive and mature look.

"These are really good," Shisui praised excitedly, and I made a small grunt of agreement. "I'm totally blown away! I'm so going to see this exhibit when it's launched!"

"He's really professional, too," I replied, feeling the familiar sense of pride fill me - some much easier to handle that the fact that I felt chills in my spine from looking at those pictures. "Some of the actors I work with aren't as serious about their work as he is, and honestly, not even half as photogenic."

We looked at the rest of the pictures as we drank, occasionally commenting on this and that detail. Even though I had been there when Sasuke had posed, seeing the final results was always different, but I was very pleased even if at first I had been skeptical about him posing naked because he was my baby brother, and in my eyes, his body was a sacred monument – a perfect body that deserved recognition and worshiping.

_I did not just think that._

I knew Sasuke was no saint, even if I tried to ignore the fact. He was a teenager, highly intelligent but also very hormone-driven and just now starting to embrace his own body and his sexuality, as well as understanding the effects of his own sensuality and appeal.

Seeing those pictures made me understand that Sasuke was a highly sexual person, and very conscious of it, too. I always teased him about it but never really considered the fact. I wasn't exactly aware of how active his sex life was (to be honest, I didn't want to know), but if the chemistry between him and Naruto were any indication, he was probably _very_ fulfilled indeed.

This was something I refused to think about.

"You know," Shisui's voice woke me up from my musings and I looked at him to see him eyeing me thoughtfully. "You look terribly upset for some reason."

I cleared my throat and closed the file, slamming the lid of my laptop shut. "I'm not upset," I said, more composed than I felt but still sounding slightly annoyed. "But Sasuke was this adorable child with chubby cheeks and hungry for attention. It feels strange to see him grow up and become this terribly good-looking person that all sorts of perverts are going to drool over once he becomes really famous. He's 17, Shisui, and he's already having sex and posing naked and doing his thing." I bit down on my lower lip and took a deep breath. "Maybe he's right and I don't know how to deal with it. Even if I'm proud of him, I don't know how to deal with how I feel about this."

Shisui made a clucking sound with his tongue. "You're not his father, and kids grow up and start to do stuff earlier than we imagine," he said, carefully. "Maybe it's finally the time for you to look at him for the man he is becoming? I'm sure that's what he wants."

I frowned at him and shook my head from side to side. "I'm scared to look at him like a man, Shisui," I admitted, my voice dropping to a whisper. "I've been wanting to be a part of his life, but I'm starting to think that he's too much for me to handle. He wants me to deal with him differently, but how can I do that? How can I let go of him as a child and look at him as a man if this man is _this_?" I gestured rudely to my laptop with my free hand. "He's all hormones and sex appeal. I feel like he wants me to look at him in a way that I know I shouldn't look at him. And what am I supposed to do?"

"Kill yourself, probably," Shisui mocked, with a teasing chuckle.

"It's not funny," I snapped irritably. "I almost kissed him and that's all I can think about. I don't know what to do, Shisui. For the first time in my life, I don't know how to handle something like this."

Just then, my mobile phone - which was resting near my thigh - rang. I picked it up to check who it was.

"It's Sasuke," I said.

Shisui huffed and promptly got up. "I'll let you talk to him in peace," he said calmly, reaching out to run his fingers through the loose strands of some of my loose hair that rested over my shoulder.. "But know this: if there is mutual love, nothing else should really matter. Maybe it's time you two stopped fucking around, no?"

I looked up at him, understanding the implication in his words.. "You know it's not that simple."

He leaned forward and planted a small kiss on my lips before leaning away and smiling. "He's becoming a man, Itachi. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, deal with it; otherwise, you're going to lose him. You should worry about stupid details later. After all, I'm your cousin and we fucked more times than I can remember. It's not that different."

The phone stopped ringing.

"It _is_ different," I said. "I don't want to fuck him."

"Of course, you don't," he replied, almost condescendingly. I would've blushed if that was something that came easily to me so instead I merely made a disapproving sound at his tone. "Itachi, I love you. But it's about time you opened your eyes and deal with whatever is going on. Now call him back or you'll hurt his feelings."

With my lips pressed tightly together again, I watched Shisui exit the room and close the door behind him.

Everything was so simple to Shisui - always a gentle, compassionate free spirit. He was far too carefree for his own good, I thought, but also one of the smartest, most genuine people I knew.

The world was a complicated place, and my whole being was a confused mess at that point.

_Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, deal with it; otherwise, you're going to lose him._

Shisui was right; I knew it, but he was also very wrong. Maybe there was something between me and Sasuke – something inside of me, for him – that needed to be explored, but I didn't know how to do it or if it was even alright.

No, for sure it wasn't alright _at all_. We were brothers. Even if it was something that I wasn't feeling by myself, it wasn't supposed to be alright.

I looked down at my mobile phone and returned the call before bringing the device to my ear. I took a few gulps in my wine while I waited for him to pick up.

Whenever I spoke to Sasuke, I could tell that he was clearly waiting. I could feel him wanting, needing more from me; but what, exactly, I couldn't tell.

Whatever it was… could I give it? _Should_ I give it?

I wanted to. Sometimes, even before the chaos I had created settled, I had wanted to praise him, to tell him how much he meant to me because, in my world, there was no one who was that important to me. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him, how much I wanted him next to me. My possessiveness of him was such that it overwhelmed me, and I did struggle daily to try and keep it under control.

But I didn't know if what I felt had anything to do with what Sasuke felt. I didn't even know if, for some unfathomable reason, I was reading him all wrong, even if I had never been wrong about him before. Maybe Shisui was wrong and there really some weird issue between us that I wasn't really grasping. Maybe it really was my fault and Sasuke was offended at me wanting to take care of him.

Whatever it was, I knew I had to find out and try to find a way to fix it.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment please? ;P
> 
> Three more chapters tomorrow lovelies!


	13. Chapter Thirteen - Itachi & Sasuke II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: This chapter contains a conversation that can be considered incestuous. Itachi/Sasuke with a hint of Sasuke/Naruto. Be warned!
> 
> Not betaed.
> 
> Thank you for the support towards this story! 
> 
> ENJOY!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Thirteen - Itachi & Sasuke II**

_Itachi's POV_

_"Hey,"_ Sasuke's voice over the phone was, as usual, serious and distant, but it didn't fail in making my heart flutter gently. It was always good to listen to him, like the feeling of being home.

"Hi," I greeted back, placing my glass of wine on the nightstand again. "Sorry I didn't pick up your call. I was in the bathroom."

_"Whatever,"_ Sasuke mumbled. _"Did you get the e-mail? The one with my pictures?"_

"I did," I replied easily. "They're really good. I'm proud of you."

_"I can't believe Orochimaru-sama wants to dedicate a part of the exhibit to me,"_ he said, now sounding pleased.

"That's just how good you are," I praised, putting my laptop aside and making myself more comfortable over my pillows, sliding down on the bed.

_"I think I might call him soon to thank him."_

"I'm sure he would appreciate that," I said. "Have you had any more work-related calls?"

_"No; things have been pretty quiet."_ His tone became graver, crestfallen. _"But it's kind of better this way since I have all these exams this month."_

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," I assured. After a short pause, I asked "How's Naruto?"

I heard him taking a deep, soft breath. " _He's fine. I've been tutoring him whenever I can, so his grades are improving. Everything's great, really."_

There was honesty and brightness in his tone then, and it made me feel bitter – a feeling I was becoming all too accustomed to. _"We're going to tell the rest of our friends about us in a few days. It's been hard to get everyone together because of how busy both shops have been since it's almost Christmas."_

"Well, you've been dating for over two months," I said, trying to sound impassive. "I suppose it's good to know that the two of you are getting along well enough to the point where you feel like you want to start spreading the word."

He seemed to hesitate – probably at the strained tone in my voice – before saying _"Yeah."_

A few seconds of silence followed, during which I took a few deep, calming breaths, running a hand through my hair.

"Sasuke, about Christmas," I started, carefully. "I won't be able to go home. I'll be terribly busy with the shootings and will have to go from one place to the other. I think it's going to be impossible for me to go home."

_"Oh,"_ was all he said. I couldn't even tell if he sounded angry or disappointed.

"Don't tell mom for the time being," I requested.

_"I won't."_

Another moment of silence stretched between us. What the hell was I doing? I wanted so much to talk to Sasuke, to tell him things, and yet, I was hesitating. I didn't want him to feel trapped or pressured, but I needed _something._ I needed him to talk to me, to tell me everything about him, just like he used to in times that seemed far too distant.

"So, I was thinking," I started, after clearing my throat. "You'll be on winter break soon so, if you want, you can come stay with me for a few days? I'll pay for the expenses as a Christmas gift and you can see the shooting and stuff? I can introduce you to a few people. You'll have fun."

I heard him hold his breath for a while before answering. _"I'd like that, but I don't know. Mom and dad would probably be sad with neither of us here."_

"You're probably right," I agreed, smiling in spite of myself. "Still, when I talk to mother I'll mention it to her and we'll see how she reacts, okay?"

_"Sure."_

I could hear him moving a bit, the sound of fabric rustling evident.

"You're in bed?" I inquired softly.

_"Yeah,"_ he heaved a sigh. _"I was about to go to sleep when I got the e-mail."_

"You sound tired."

_"I'm not, I just…"_ The sound of him swallowing hard was too loud in my ear. _"How are **you**? How's the shooting going?"_

I licked my lips as satisfaction coursed through me at the casual question.

"Everything's fine. It's an action movie, so I've been doing all these stunts I never really thought I could do. It's exhausting, but it's also a lot of fun. Tomorrow I'm going to start my _kendo_ lessons. I'm excited about that."

_"Oh, so you're going to do some samurai fighting?"_ he joked, with a hint of a smile.

I chuckled. "Something like that. I wish you could see me, though. I've been collecting some amazing bruises during the filming."

_"You should just get yourself a stuntman."_

"I do have a stuntman, I just don't want him to do my work unless it's something I know for sure I can't do for the time being," I explained. "But, well, you know me. I'll get the hang of it no matter what."

_"Stubborn as all hell,"_ Sasuke replied with a huff that made me feel terribly lonely all of a sudden. _"Don't get yourself killed, though."_

"I won't." I closed my eyes for a moment before saying firmly "I miss you."

Sasuke released a sort of a grunt that sounded both annoyed and frustrated. Then, he huffed again, loudly. _"I miss you, too,"_ he ended up saying, sounding as if he was mad at me for some reason.

Feeling a little unsure, I pinched absently at the fabric of my pajama pants. "You sound angry."

_"That's because I am,"_ he admitted. _"Never mind, Itachi, I just… you know how I said I don't get you?"_

"Yes."

_"Well, I still don't."_

"I'm sorry."

_"Don't apologize,"_ he hissed, clearly exasperated now. _"Just… do you really want me there during Christmas?"_

"Of course," I replied, frowning at his choice of words. "Sasuke, if there is one person I always want around, that's you. You should know that. I wouldn't tell you to move in with me otherwise. We've gone through this; many times, already."

He didn't answer. I couldn't tell if he believed me or not. I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all, and that was disturbing for me. I could feel him wanting to talk, wanting to express himself, and yet, he didn't – he just waited, and I felt at loss for what to do.

Not knowing how to handle my brother was a novelty for me.

There were so many things I wanted to ask him, things I needed to make sure of, but I couldn't bring myself to voice them. How could I simply demand answers to something so illogical?

"Sasuke," I whispered, feeling myself tense. "You understand that I love you, don't you?"

Again, he took a while to answer. _"I do,"_ he ended up saying, sounding tired. _"I love you, too."_

Sinking my teeth in my lower lip, I pulled one knee up, running my hand up and down my thigh restlessly. " Did you and Naruto have sex yet?"

I had thrown the question at him on purpose. I wondered why I was interested in such a thing.

Sasuke released a dry, disbelieving laugh. _"Remember how I told you to mind your own business?"_ he said, not even bothering to fake his displeasure at the question.

"I remember," I replied, apologetically. "I just can't help but worry about you."

He sighed. _"You don't have to worry about me, I'm more than fine, I already told you that. Naruto is good for me. Everything we do is pondered and mutually consented."_

"I'm sure it is."

_"But…"_ he started, voice lowering slightly as if considering if he should proceed or not. _"We haven't done it yet. We've done a few things, but nothing that extreme."_

My lungs felt terribly constricted for some reason, so I brought my free hand to my chest and rubbed it, hoping the uncomfortable feeling there could go away.

"Alright," I said, mustering a calm tone. "Do you want to?"

An almost imperceptible wet noise made me wonder if Sasuke was licking his lips. I could feel him holding back again, his breathing becoming more elaborate. I could almost swear I could hear his mind racing, wondering if he should talk to me about such a thing or not.

I automatically knew he would, but I was curious to know how he'd approach it.

_"I want to."_ When he spoke, his answer came in a breathless whisper. _"I told him so, too. I've been reading about it for a while now, and I even bought a few things. The only issue now is when and where."_

I swallowed, feeling uncomfortable. Sasuke was devious. The pain in my chest didn't really seem to subside. "You seem so sure of yourself," I said, successfully sounding composed.

_"I am,"_ he stated, with conviction.

"He's a man," I pointed out, mercilessly. "Things aren't exactly the way they are with a woman"

_"I'm more than aware of that, trust me,"_ he said, with emphasis. _"That's not an issue to me. He's a guy and I'm fine with it; I like it. I like how things are between us."_ He paused for a few seconds, again, choosing his words. _"The chemistry between us is really unbelievable. I don't think I've ever felt such strong sexual energy from fucking a girl like I do from just kissing him. It's overwhelming."_

Sasuke had never really talked to me about such things, nor in such a debauched way, and quite frankly, it took me by surprise. I couldn't tell what irritated me the most: if what he said, that he had said it, or the way he had said it.

Why had he chosen to express himself to me in such an unnecessary way? It wasn't like him, and only made me all more certain that he was trying to upset me.

There had been an unfamiliar hint of lust in his voice, but also defiance. Almost as if he was testing my reaction to it. What I was meant to make of it, I didn't know.

"Does he feel the same way?" I chose to ask, conversationally.

_"Of course,"_ the smirk behind his voice was unmistakable, and it made my heart speed up at how absolutely arrogant and strangely alluring he sounded.

"How do you know?"

_"You just know these things, Itachi."_ His voice was now a soft, quick whisper. _"When he touches me, I know. When he kisses me, too. It's like fire unleashed. The way we connect. And Naruto is so patient it's annoying. He's always waiting for me to do stuff, to take the lead, even if he looks at me like he wants to kidnap me and have his wicked way with me."_ Sasuke heaved a slightly shaky sigh. _"Just thinking about it makes me feel hot."_

I was frankly appalled at his guts as I brought a hand to my mouth in understanding.

Was he for real?

There was no denying it – he was testing me. Why, I had no idea, but it bothered me. It bothered me that I felt annoyed by it, that I felt like he was trying to tell me _something_ , trying to make me understand something; and all I could do was speculate because we were going around in circles.

"Sasuke," I called out quietly, now clenching the fabric of my sweater in my fist. "Are you in love with him?"

_"Maybe I am,"_ he said, too firmly. _"I can't tell anymore."_ He took a sharp intake of breath. _"I've never felt this way. I never genuinely wanted to be with another person before, and liking someone was never this easy, this stupidly ideal."_

I took a sharp intake of breath through my nose. "I don't understand, even now, why you did something like this. Why, after always being with girls, you decided it was good to hook up with a childhood friend. That's not something you'd ever do."

_"Because I needed to."_ And all of a sudden, there was that defying defensiveness showing itself. _"I **needed to** , Itachi. I needed to be with someone like him."_

"Why?"

_"This is where I tell you, again, that you need to stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."_

"You were already dating people like crazy," I couldn't help but press on, more and more certain of the signals he was throwing at me. "You didn't even talk about those girls you were with. You didn't even care about dating before that nonsense started. I know something happened to make you act this way."

_"So, what if it did?"_ he snapped defensively.

"I can't dismiss it if you were in pain," I retorted, shifting from my position so that I was sitting, my whole body tensing up by the strange way the conversation had changed the mood between us.

_"I was in pain,"_ he admitted, albeit reluctantly. _"I still am. But now I have Naruto. He's the best thing that's happened to me in a while, and I'm glad I got involved with him, even if it freaks you out; even if you don't agree."_

That confirmed that there was an ulterior reason for Sasuke and Naruto to be together. Sasuke was hurting, and he was taking shelter under the blonde's wing.

It made me angry just thinking about it. It made me want to force my little brother to tell me everything so I could find a way to make it better, somehow. It also irked me that Naruto was the one capable of soothing him, even if, deep inside, I was relieved that Sasuke at least had someone to be there for him.

"I never said I didn't agree. I just said that it was strange," I corrected, trying to keep my voice calm.

_"You're going to have to learn how to deal with it, because I really like him,"_ Sasuke hissed, obviously fired up. _"I'm happy when I'm with him. Don't ask questions, Itachi. I don't need your concern; I don't need you annoying the hell out of me just because you 'don't understand'. I don't want you to understand. You never would, anyway."_

His words were painful to me, and I don't think I managed to keep the emotion from my voice. "You don't know that."

_"I do,"_ he said, with a sad conviction. _"You're just ...you don't even know the things you do; you don't even understand yourself."_

"So, you _are_ mad at me," I retorted, gripping the mattress underneath me in frustration and self-resentment.

_"I'm not; it's not your fault,"_ he replied, coolly. _"But, fuck, you're so fucking clueless. And then you do shit that confuse me and ask never ending questions and say things I don't get…"_

Now he was losing it. His voice was becoming more aggressive by the second and he sounded terribly aggravated.

"Sasuke…"

_"Why are you always fucking flirting with me, Itachi?"_ he blurted out, to my surprise. _"Ever since I told you about me and Naruto it's been this fucking heavy atmosphere. You think it's funny? You're my brother, it's not fucking funny. Don't do shit like that and then pretend it's okay. It's **not** okay."_

My heartbeat sped up. For a few seconds, I just stared into space, unsure of how to react to such a blatant accusation. I knew he had noticed my little slip; I just didn't expect him to approach me so directly on the subject.

_"You're not going to say anything?"_ he inquired irritably, seeing as remained silent.

I swallowed. "I don't know what to say."

Sasuke snorted. _"Now I'm fucking angry."_

"Don't be."

_"You almost kissed me, didn't you?"_ he insisted.

"I can't give you an explanation for that." It was true. I didn't want him to be mad at me, but I couldn't tell him something I was still trying to accept.

_"Well, **I** certainly can,"_ he retorted. _"You're jealous of the time and attention I spend on Naruto."_

"Maybe," I conceded. Then, after a moment, I said "Yes. I told you I was scared of losing you. I told you I felt helpless about the distance between us. "

_"Being with Naruto has nothing to do with us."_

"So, you keep saying."

_"Stop it,"_ he snapped. _"What were you trying to accomplish?"_

"I wasn't thinking," I admitted, closing my eyes.

_"Clearly, you weren't."_

On the other end of the line, Sasuke was fuming. His breathing was still fast and heavy, but now in anger, a barely contained rush of words dying to come out of his mouth. He wasn't done yet, I could tell, and all I could do was wait and let him say what he wanted to say because I didn't want him to be even angrier at me.

Sasuke, as usual, didn't disappoint. _"You don't have the right."_ There it was. " _You can't just manipulate me just because you're scared I'm finally finding my place in the world. It's wrong. It's not… it's not fair."_

"I know," I said, slightly annoyed that he knew my feelings so well, even if he had become so good at concealing himself from me.

_"Don't do this to me."_ He now sounded pleading, his voice losing a bit of its aggressiveness. _"I'm falling for Naruto, for real. I don't need you putting unnecessary shit in my head. I don't need you doing this to me."_

I opened my eyes, sudden adrenaline coursing through my entire body at his words.

Gods, he just let something important slip, didn't he?

"You think it's unnecessary?" I questioned, straightening my back. There was a new-found fire within me that I couldn't quell. There was something going on between us, something I couldn't, _didn't_ want to name, but _something_ nonetheless, and I simply needed to know. "What if _I_ think it's necessary? Maybe there is a reason why it upset you so much."

_"We're brothers,"_ he stated, as if was obvious. Still, I had to poke him.

"And? What makes you think I had ill intentions?"

_"I didn't say you did."_

"So? I didn't make the smartest of moves, but it was because I didn't know how to show you how much you mean to me. It doesn't mean that I meant anything special by it."

_"Doesn't it?"_

And now he was the one poking me. Sasuke kept throwing weird hints at me and yet, he was also placing traps everywhere, hoping I'd fall, and I didn't know if he was running away from me or trying to lure me in. Either way, I didn't know how to respond to him.

"You are the one being annoyed and upset by it." My tone was defensive and accusing at the same time, and by the affronted huff in my ear, it didn't sit well with him. I regretted it instantly.

_"Fuck you,"_ he murmured venomously. _"I'm hanging up. I'm tired of this shit."_

"Don't," I begged quickly. We couldn't stop the conversation like that, it was already enough that things were at such a breaking point between us. I took a breath and forced my tone to become gentler. Still, what came out of my mouth wasn't exactly the wisest of sentences. "What if I _did_ have other intentions? What would you do about it, Sasuke?"

Sasuke actually gasped softly. The way he was breathing made me believe that he was hyperventilating, and it made me feel worried that I might've taken a step too far. No, I was sure that there was no taking it back anymore.

_"What are you getting at?"_ Sasuke then whispered once he got his breathing under control. _"Stop saying stupid things. I don't get you."_

I sighed, helpless as to what to do, feel or say. What _was_ I getting at? What was I trying to accomplish, daring him like that? Maybe it was all in my mind. Maybe I really had nothing to do with his relationship with Naruto; maybe I had nothing to do with his pain.

But if I did, I had to make it right. I wanted to. I couldn't lose him. The distance between us was becoming unbearable, and the more we talked the more awkward it felt.

I didn't understand what I wanted from him, and yet, that banter between us made me realize that I wanted _something_. Something I probably shouldn't want.

All I knew was that I wanted to be the one to heal him, to make him happy and to give him what he needed. Not Naruto.

And it was wrong. As he said, I had no right to force him to come out of his shell. I had no right to claim him, especially when he was, indeed, finding his place besides someone. _Someone else_.

"I suppose you were right," I mumbled tiredly. "Maybe there are things we shouldn't talk about."

He huffed again, sounding as tired as I was. _"I hate you."_

In spite of myself, I smiled. "You just said you loved me."

_"I wish I didn't,"_ he grunted weakly. _"Loving you is my personal hell. I'm hanging up now. I'm tired of this fucking conversation."_

"Alright," I agreed, an impending feeling of loss and longing invading me. I knew it. There was something, in him, for me. His words just had to be confirmation of it. But why say them in the first place? And why did it make me feel hopeful? "About Christmas; please think about it."

_"I can't promise I will,"_ he said, sounding genuinely downcast. _"It sounds like a terrible idea all of sudden."_

"Somehow I feel that we need to settle a few things. Maybe we just need to spend some time together, you and me."

He took a while to answer. _"Whatever, we'll see,"_ he eventually said. _"Goodnight, Itachi."_

"Goodnight, Sasuke." And then, he unceremoniously hung up, not sticking around to hear me say the final "Sleep tight."

"Damn it," I cursed, lowering my mobile phone and clenching it in my hand. "What am I supposed to do now?"

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I think that, so far, the Itachi/Sasuke chesmitry is becoming rather obvious, right? So please, if this ship isn't your cup of tea, and if it disturbs you in any way or form please stop reading this fic because it WILL get worse. Not for me, though, it just keeps getting better *smirks*
> 
> Don't forget to comment ;)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by the lovely fellow writer fangirlandiknowit! Thank you so much for your help and for the motivation, you rock so damn much!
> 
> Also, back then I originally wrote a huge assed chapter, so I ended up splitting it in two, so sorry if this feels like it ends up in a weird way.
> 
> WARNINGS: Violence, M/M interactions (sort of) and a bit of Sasuke/Sakura/Naruto, I guess (please don't think badly of her).
> 
> Enjoy!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Fourteen**

_Naruto's POV_

"Isn't it great that the three of us are hanging out together?" Sakura chirped happily, clapping her hands delicately in evident enthusiasm.

A little hesitantly, I smiled a bit, exchanging a confused look with a bored looking Sasuke, who was sitting in front of me, right beside her.

The huge smile Sakura had sported from the very moment she had dragged the both of us with her to the coffee shop after school was still firmly in place – she was positively beaming, and completely oblivious to the uncomfortable tension Sasuke and I were feeling just from being around her.

The three of us had been in the same class since forever. Sakura had always liked Sasuke for as long as I can remember, and since Sasuke and I were kind of friends thanks to the relationship our families had, eventually she became friends with me to get closer to him. That's how our friendship started. She had pursued him for years, and I had pursued _her_. Both our attempts were futile, to say the least, because Sasuke didn't see her as anything more than a good friend – even though, most of the times, he thought she was annoying – and Sakura was too focused on him to even understand how _I_ felt.

I don't really know why I thought I liked her as much as I did. She was pretty, yes; smart, too, but she had a terrible temper and was a bit vain in a lot of aspects. Still, in my eyes, she had been the perfect girl.

That was to say, until adolescence hit, and we all started to change, both physically and psychologically. Sasuke had been cute as kid, but growing up had turned him into a very attractive guy, and I suppose the same happened to me. Of course, an also dashing Sakura noticed this, as well as a lot of people who didn't look twice my way when I was younger. Still, my sexual awakening was confusing for me, because my hormones were all over the place, and for all types of people, both male and female. While I tried to find myself, there had been a lot of people willing to help me out, and Sakura had been one of them. She insisted she was okay with me liking both genders and all sorts of people, so we started dating even though I was sure she still liked Sasuke and was just tired of being alone and only having mediocre looking guys after her. It was also clear she wanted to initiate her sexual life with someone experienced, but needed it to be with someone she could also trust, and Sasuke was not an option.

During those times, the three of us stopped hanging out as a trio like we used to when we were kids. Sasuke and I found new friends and the same happened with Sakura, but we all still hung out occasionally.

I like to believe that Sakura actually liked me for a while – after all, I took her virginity. I'm not saying she was in love, but she definitely liked me enough.

At least until she concluded she wasn't comfortable with me swinging both ways. All sorts of fears and doubts started plaguing her mind and she ended up breaking up with me. I was disappointed and heartbroken, because I genuinely thought that, if there was someone who could handle my excess baggage, it was her – my best female friend, and one of the people who had always been there for me no matter what. She had always accepted me for who I was, why had it become an issue all of a sudden?

In the end, she just wanted to keep chasing after Sasuke.

Our relationship was never the same, as expected. Her stupidity frustrated me as much as my own. But we were still friends, and we were still there for each other no matter what.

Today, I know why Sasuke decided to date her – he, too, thought someone like her could handle his own baggage – but his heart was never in it. Being rejected by him was something she was used to, but being rejected after having dated him for three months wasn't something she was able to swallow easily.

I think that, in her mind, she meant more to him than he cared to admit. Not to say that Sasuke _didn't_ care, but he just didn't care exactly like _that_. Most girls tend to over romanticize sex and think that, if it happens, it has to mean there's 'love' involved, but for most guys, sex is just sex. As far as I know, Sasuke had sex with all his girlfriends and he ended up dumping all of them without a single feeling of remorse. I doubt sex for him back then ever had some kind of deep meaning other than to feel good, or to make all his girlfriends feel fulfilled in some way.

Adolescence really hadn't made the relationship between the three of us any easier, least of all after Sakura had dated both Sasuke and me. The three of us alone together felt awkward. Also, considering I was currently dating Sasuke, everything just felt plain wrong.

Which was why I didn't really understand why she seemed so happy and so eager to hang out with the two of us all of a sudden.

I ordered a Coke while Sasuke preferred green tea. Sakura wanted something sweet, so she ordered a strawberry milkshake.

She kept going on and on about random stuff I couldn't really pay attention to. To be honest, more than being uncomfortable, I was frustrated by the fact that she had effectively stolen my time alone with my boyfriend during one of the few days neither of us had to work at our respective stores. Judging from the consistent frown marring Sasuke's forehead, he wasn't all that happy either.

"It's so amazing that you guys have been getting along better recently," she was saying, after the tall waiter had brought our drinks.

"We always got along, Sakura," Sasuke replied, not bothering to hold back the dryness from his voice.

"Well, that's not entirely true," she said, before taking a sip on her milkshake, just as Sasuke was lighting a cigarette for himself. "You were always insulting and beating each other up. But even your bickering is more subdued now. And I noticed you guys have been spending more time together. But we're almost graduating, so I guess we all had to mature at some point, right?"

"Yeah," I muttered, fidgeting a bit in my seat. "I suppose that's true."

"I always knew you guys liked each other in spite of everything," Sakura said, smiling broadly.

Sasuke made his pack and lighter slid towards me and I accepted it, taking one cigarette for myself and lighting it. Sakura's eyes travelled between Sasuke and me with a curious glint that made me feel suspicious. I exchanged a look with my boyfriend, who merely inhaled from his cigarette and quirked an eyebrow upwards as if he, too, didn't exactly know what to make of the mood.

"It's so good to know you're on friendly terms, now!" Sakura pressed on, just as energetically as before. I saw her sliding slightly closer to Sasuke on her seat so that their arms were touching. I bit my bottom lip and took a long drag in my cigarette to try and quell the sudden assault of jealousy in me. I knew Sasuke didn't like her that way, but still, they had dated, and fucked, and somehow, it disturbed me greatly.

To my relief, though, he clearly refused to acknowledge the action, but didn't stop himself from subtly shifting away from her just a bit. As expected, though, she didn't get the hint and moved even closer.

"So, are you guys seeing someone?" She inquired casually; her side practically glued to Sasuke's by now. I chose to look away in both consternation and embarrassment. "I haven't seen either of you with anyone, but you both act like you're out of the market, not really allowing anyone close, from what I hear. What's up with that? We're friends, you can totally tell me!"

I observed my cigarette, watching the smoke dance towards the ceiling. I heard Sasuke heaving a clearly annoyed huff.

"Just because you don't see them it doesn't mean they don't exist, Sakura," he said, and even thought his voice was smooth as silk, it held a stinging tone to it. It almost made me flinch, but at the same time, I was stunned by his answer – and, by Sakura's gasp, so was she.

"So, you _are_ dating someone?" Sakura mumbled, as if the thought shocked her in some way.

"I didn't say I was," Sasuke said simply.

I almost felt like laughing but instead bit my lip to stop myself and glanced at Sakura through my fringe, only to see her blink at him.

"You're confusing me," she muttered, after a while.

Sasuke merely heaved another sigh. "Look, maybe I think it's time to simply live a little and start trying new, more exciting things. Maybe I've decided that the world has more to offer than what we all think. Maybe dating has a new meaning to me now. Maybe a person's sexuality needs to be explored in more ways than one. Maybe I don't want to be tied to conventional relationships?"

Taking another long, deep drag on my cigarette, I eyed him openly with my eyebrows raised. He smirked at me. Sakura seemed to be gaping, processing what had been said. It wasn't exactly hard to understand the meaning behind his words.

"I see." She swallowed hard, but didn't move away from him. "I never knew you were that _open-minded_ , I suppose."

"Oh, I'm open-minded, alright," Sasuke said, his smirk becoming even nastier, and I couldn't help but snort.

Sakura seemed to find our interactions quite interesting, because she kept looking at the both of us as if she had never truly seen us. There was a gleam in her eyes that I found highly worrisome, though, because I knew that gleam only appeared when she was plotting something.

"What about you, Naruto?" She ended up inquiring, recovering quickly with a strange smile after contemplating me for a while. "Although, you've always been a bit of a promiscuous guy, right?"

I frowned at her. "Just because I don't see sex the same way you do doesn't mean I'm promiscuous, Sakura-chan."

"Oh, don't take it personally, you know what I mean," she dismissed, waving her manicured hand at me with a good-natured chuckle.

Coming from the person that said she understood me and ended up leaving me in fear of that same 'promiscuity', it didn't sit all that well with me.

"Yeah," I mumbled, smashing the rest of my cigarette on the ashtray in front of me. "Whatever." Her smile faltered as she realized I had taken it personally.

"Naruto, I'm sorry." She looked genuinely regretful of her words, but I looked away, leaning back and crossing my arms over my chest. "I really didn't mean to offend you."

Was that fucking get-together ever going to end?

"He's been helping me sort myself out, Sakura," Sasuke interrupted on my behalf, again, purposefully vague, grabbing her attention again. "There's no one better than him to make a guy understand what he's missing, and we've really gotten to know each other on a level we didn't before. It's been rather enjoyable and… well, _enlightening_." Smiling at me, he added "Most people think he's a libertine, but in fact, he's got a good head on his shoulders. He's been keeping me grounded, to be honest."

Sakura looked torn between fascination, astonishment and confusion as she noticed the way he smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back at him, feeling thankful, but hesitant. I could see the wheels turning in her head – after all, she was a smart girl – and I wasn't sure what, exactly, Sasuke was trying to accomplish and whether it was a good thing or a bad one.

"I... I see..." Sakura mumbled, clearing her throat. A deep blush painted her cheeks. "I think it's good that you guys are… connecting and… getting along… differently."

Sasuke took one last drag on his cigarette before also putting it out with a raised eyebrow. He looked far too amused for my liking, and while I could see that Sakura had just been made aware of a few things, I was sure she hadn't connected quite all the dots properly.

In fact, I was sure of that the moment I saw her hands disappearing under the table before Sasuke shifted a bit in disbelief. Not only five seconds later was my theory made real when I felt a foot purposefully touching my leg lightly. So as to not make a scene, I prevented myself from jumping in shock, and yet, I looked at Sasuke in desperation, but I caught him making a slightly disgruntled face, looking at our friend as if, for once, he didn't know what he should do or if he should say something.

That's when I realized we were _both_ being not so discreetly harassed. If Sakura-chan meant for us to know what was happening to the other I had no idea, but neither of us protested, both unsure of what, exactly, we were supposed to do or how to react to such a surprising thing.

"Well," Sakura said, straightening up with her smile becoming sweet. "Isn't this nice? I'm so glad we got to talk! We should definitely hang out more! We used to be so close as kids! It's not fair that I get to be left out, is it?"

The look Sasuke and I exchanged told me that we were both thinking about the same exact thing.

Our lives were so going to become more complicated from then on.

000

"That has got to be the most awkward moment of my life!" I whined, after Sasuke and I had left Sakura-chan home and were making our way towards our respective places. Night was already upon us even though it was barely 6pm. It was pretty cold, but I was too hyped and dumbfounded to feel it.

"Let's not talk about it ever again," Sasuke mumbled into the black scarf that surrounded his neck, walking beside me with his hands inside the pockets of his jacket.

"How can I _not_ talk about it?!" I persisted, eyeing him with dismay. "She was fondling you while she was rubbing her foot on my leg, Sasuke! And she kissed us both goodbye on the cheek just now! I mean, get it?" I gesticulated randomly at him to prove a point, making him look at me sideways, unimpressed. "She dated us both. And now we're dating each other. It's like, the weirdest, most fucked up thing ever! What the damned fuck?!"

"I don't know what she's thinking, and frankly, I don't care," Sasuke said, shrugging. "I said those things so she could get the hint that something was happening between us, but I'm not sure she got the whole picture, unfortunately."

"Well, yeah, you were pretty vague," I pointed out.

"I couldn't simply blurt out we were dating now, could I?" He rolled his eyes. "I'd hurt her feelings and then you'd nag me for all eternity."

"I know, but now she thinks we're jerking each other off for fun or something like that."

"That's not entirely inaccurate," he said, smirking slightly at me. "Maybe she's trying to seduce the both of us to see who takes the bait first?"

I pouted. "She's supposed to be in love with _you_ , not me."

My boyfriend chuckled. "That doesn't mean she's not interested in being a 'free spirit' as well, if you know what I mean." He elbowed me playfully. "You're familiar to her, and she knows what you're worth in the sack. What if she misses the fun?"

"Don't even joke about that," I warned, pushing him a bit, but laughing as well. "I don't like her like that anymore. Being with her like that would be super creepy at this point, even if it was just for sex."

"Is that so?" He asked mockingly, as if he didn't believe me. "After all the shit you gave me when I dumped her, your feelings for her have died in just little under three months?

I merely smiled. "Yeah. I do care about her, but it's different now," I assured, bumping arms with him as we walked. "I gave up on her a long time ago, and since I've been with you, you're all I care about. I feel no inclination towards her whatsoever, and I don't plan on dating anyone else but you for a long time if I have a say in it."

"What if her idea of a 'free spirit' is to get both of us?" Sasuke suggested, faking seriousness. "Maybe she's into that kind of stuff."

"Well, if you were okay with it, then I guess I'd be in for a threesome," I joked easily. "Small boobs aside, she's kind of hot. And having two hot people in my bed is like, my ultimate wet dream."

A painful smack to the back of my head made me whine, but Sasuke was actually laughing. "I'm the only one allowed in your bed, you fucking moron," he said, trying to hit me again, but I managed to jump away from him. "And no fucking threesomes, ever; least of all with _her_."

"No one would believe that you dated her at some point, talking about her the way you do," I replied, rubbing the back of my head.

"Well, as I already told you, she was simply my means to an end," he said, shrugging again. "She was my friend, and in love with me, so I thought, why not. But I never managed to like her like that. And she's not that good of a lay, either. There's too much romance and movie scene bullshit in that head of hers."

"I have to agree with you there." I nodded, solemnly. Then, I glanced at Sasuke and risked getting closer to him so we were walking with our arms practically glued to each other, happy when he didn't protest the proximity in such a familiar street where anyone could recognize us. "Still, we were joking and all that, but I'm kind of worried. Even if she does think we're just fooling around, she took it incredibly well."

Sasuke 'hummed' thoughtfully. "I suppose. But that only means that she is misinterpreting everything, somewhat."

"How so?" I inquired.

"I'm not sure," he said, sighing. "But it can't be good."

We walked in comfortable silence for a while, still close to each other. I wondered if Sasuke would refuse it if I linked my arm to his, but when we passed an old lady that was an acquaintance of his mother's and we were forced to greet her, I dismissed the thought altogether.

It was weird how things were developing between us. It was weird how, more and more I felt like I wanted to be with him and simply be free with him. And yet, it was still too soon, even though we'd already been through so much together. We both had matured since that kiss at McDonald's, and yet, it was Sasuke who was maturing to the point where, it seemed, he knew exactly where we stood in each other's lives.

It was good to know that Sasuke wanted me to stay. It wasn't about us 'trying' to be a couple anymore, but simply about us 'growing' together, and working towards what was proving to be a consistent relationship in spite of the awkward beginning. We genuinely wanted to be together, and that made me happy.

I bit my lip, looking down at my walking feet. "You know," I began, using a casual tone of voice. "In a way, I'm really happy that this happened. I'm happy that you took it in your hands to let her know that something was happening between us." I swallowed; my throat suddenly dry. "It's these kinds of things that kind of make me realize that I like this. That I like _us_."

I felt him eyeing me, but I didn't look up because, somehow, my own words made me feel strangely embarrassed. I felt like such an idiot having the need to say something so mushy while my heart was beating so quickly.

"We're in this together," Sasuke said quietly, his eyes still glued to my profile. "I like to believe that we're becoming serious at this point. I'm serious about you. Being with you is what I want. I won't let anyone come in between that, not even a girl we both dated, even if she is a precious friend."

I smiled a bit, pleased that he'd given himself the trouble of voicing his feelings, so similar to mine. "That's good to know," I muttered. "Because I really don't want to lose you to someone else at this point."

A hand landed unexpectedly on my elbow, and then I was being stopped in my tracks. Surprised, I looked up to find Sasuke's stormy gaze steady on mine, mouth pressed in a thin line in determination. There was a moment of silence, during which we simply looked at each other, oblivious to all the other passers-by. When his tongue darted out to moisten his lips, my eyes were drawn to the action, but before I knew it, his mouth was being pressed to mine. His lips were cold, but soft, and yet, the pressure applied was meant to deliver a message. I blinked stupidly when he moved away, a little startled by the sudden heat flooding me. He had just kissed me in the middle of the street, in public, in our hometown. I didn't know if I should feel ecstatic or confused.

"I like you," Sasuke said, with conviction. There was a small wrinkle in his forehead that kind of made him look like his dad when he was angry, but I knew this was just him being serious. "I really do, Naruto. I hope you know I don't want anyone else."

I looked at him in awe, unsure of how to interpret his words. I could see the honesty in his eyes and feel the emphasis in the strength of his hand on my elbow.

"I like you… very much, as well," I whispered, strangely moved, even though I knew that his words weren't one completely true. After all, there was still someone else – someone that held him back, even if he didn't want to acknowledge it. Someone that was still stopping him from giving himself to me like he should – like he clearly wanted.

I knew Sasuke was focused on our relationship and that he was working hard for us. For that, I would always be grateful.

But I also knew that loving someone wasn't something easy to let go of, even if other feelings for someone else blossomed in the meantime.

At that point, though, I only cared about his feelings for _me_. And that was what I focused on. As long as he wanted _me_ like this, so genuinely and in such a pure, yet inhibited way, I wasn't scared. I wasn't intimidated by that other person at all. Once Sasuke chose me – and I was sure he would because of how much simpler it was – I'd never look back and give him everything he wanted and more. I'd stop holding back altogether and let myself be how I wanted to be with him – for him.

But we both knew that there were boundaries between us – walls Sasuke would have to break himself if he wanted to let me in. It wasn't so much physical or psychological as it was emotional.

Sasuke's hand loosened its grip on my elbow, and slowly, he moved it so it was taking a hold of mine. His mouth curved into an awkward kind of smirk. "I'm glad we're on the same page, then," he said.

I looked down at our joined hands and then back up at him. "Yeah, we definitely are."

_Sasuke's POV_

If there was something I loved about the time I spent with Naruto was the fact that interacting with him was always easy. It didn't matter if we were talking, bickering, arguing, fist fighting or making out – everything just happened as easily as breathing. Be it in a good way or a bad way, he was always able to pull my mind off things so I could focus exclusively on _him_. It was a weird feeling, to be honest, because I always considered myself to be a person capable of focusing on many things at the same time.

It had always been like that, even before we were dating – those times when he made me laugh so hard I started to hiccup, or when he said and did such stupid things my mind was struck with horror and stupefaction, or when I was so angry at him that all I could see was red and that mug of his I wanted to break with both my fists.

It had been a while since we'd last had a physical fight though. Maybe we had been needing it to remember exactly how we were before becoming a couple, to hold on to what made us who we were as friends, and sometimes, rivals.

Maybe it was my own fault, who knew? My mind had been all over the place since that stupid phone call with Itachi. I acted as if nothing had changed, but truth was, things _had_ changed. I didn't think it was the good sort of change. The things that had become consistently simpler for me were all, once again, wrapping themselves up in a huge ball of messed up confusion. I didn't need to feel conflicted, or lost. I didn't want to be inside that turbulent state of mind again.

Knowing that Itachi had consciously almost kissed me didn't make things easier. I hadn't meant to confront him like that during our phone call, but I couldn't stand him being so fucking suggestive all the time without understanding _why_.

Itachi had a charming, teasing way of being that was so naturally his, but this was exactly why it was perceivable (at least by me) if there was something else in there.

I couldn't stop thinking about whether Itachi knew what he was doing to me or not. Was he just as lost as I was, or was he simply pushing me around until I gave everything away and humiliated myself? Or maybe he was completely conscious of his actions and was making a move to trap me, to make sure I couldn't leave that place where I was so affected by him and he knew it.

The last one seemed to be the one most plausible and faithful to his character.

_What if I did have other intentions? What would you do about it, Sasuke?_

Why did he have to say something like that? Was he testing me? Did he actually mean something or was he just being carried away by my own flow? Did he even understand what was going on?

Was this something new to him, something he was just discovering and wanting to explore? It certainly seemed that way.

I had no doubts in my mind that he cared deeply about me. There was no way I could deny it, no valid arguments I could offer that would be believable because he had always been the perfect brother and the perfect friend – the perfect person, period. There was nothing he wouldn't do for me, and I knew that.

But I was becoming increasingly more attached to Naruto to the point where I could confidently say that it was the first time that I was into the person I was dating. I truly loved our relationship, the way we interacted, and the simple, yet flaming chemistry. Somehow, I felt like I'd hardly ever get that anywhere else.

Despite our relationship still being recent and still mostly secret, I could truly see a future for us. Well, I hadn't really thought about how that future would look like, but I suppose that only showed how at peace I was.

Before I started dating Naruto, this thing with Itachi might've given me hope, or even made me a little happy in spite of the circumstances.

Wasn't this type reciprocation what I had craved for during that painful year? Hadn't I wished that, somehow, my despair could be repaid in some way? That, somehow, my feelings could be returned, even if there was no way something like this could ever work between Itachi and me.

I always knew it was a stupid thought. Itachi was my brother. Nothing good could come out of such a situation. How could we ever be together? How could we have a normal life, share a house, go on dates, be regular lovers?

The thought almost made me laugh in contempt. Why was I even obsessing over such things when I had tried so fucking hard to ignore them?

And now, there was Naruto, whom I was developing serious feelings for. It wasn't just because he was anchoring me to a safe place where sanity resided; it was everything.

Everything I'd ever wanted in a person, in a relationship, I had with him. It wasn't perfect, but it was perfect for _me_ , for who I was. And even if I knew we – more like _I_ – would have a hard time coming out to our families, with him, I felt like, at some point, it would be alright.

Was it love? I couldn't tell because I had never loved anyone like that before. I loved Itachi, but those feelings were always painful and bitter, so different from how Naruto made me feel. Coming to care for Naruto as a lover was definitely different from what I had felt for anyone else before, so I knew that, in my heart, he was special.

Naruto was reachable. He represented possibility, reality, and an achievable future – something solid, consistent. Itachi had nothing of that. Even if the feelings I had for both of them were becoming increasingly similar in some ways, what they could offer me, individually, was worlds apart.

Well, if I have to be honest, Naruto had always been special, even when we were just friends. We might've fought all the time and pretended that we disliked each other more often than not, but we always cared. _I_ always cared; it was just that he frustrated me to no end with his easy-going personality. But I know that, if it hadn't been for him, I would've probably wasted my adolescence with my face buried in books, not knowing what life was. He also opened my mind towards so many things and made me a better person, teaching me that I should embrace who I was and pursue my dreams.

But, in the end, our feelings for each other had never been tested. I trusted Naruto and his faithfulness to me, and that was it. It wasn't like we had been confronted with serious issues in our relationship so far, and I had to admit that it made me a little worried. I knew, for a fact, that no relationship could ever aspire to a healthy future if it didn't have its ups and downs to show that the people involved would know how to bear it.

Not that I wanted ups and downs. But somehow, whenever I looked at Naruto, I couldn't help but wish that he'd prove himself to be the 'right one' in more ways than just being a good boyfriend. Not that I was complaining.

I just wanted _him_. I desperately wanted him to be 'it' – the one thing I couldn't be without. I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to hurt him, and neither did I want to be hurt by him, but that was why I was so afraid that something might unexpectedly break us apart. There was no way that – if that were to happen – we'd be able to be friends. And that was a painful thought, because I never wanted to go back to that rocky, conflicting relationship we had before.

For some reason, I didn't want Itachi to be the reason for any catastrophic events, either. But I had to sort myself out, once and for all. I needed to sort out my priorities, and understand exactly what both Itachi and Naruto were to me and, most of all, I had to understand what I truly wanted, from both of them, and how to separate all this in my head.

Liking Naruto more from day to day had certainly made things more difficult for me as far as my feelings for Itachi were concerned. But, no matter how much I tried to deny it, a part of me knew I was simply deluding myself.

No matter how much I liked Naruto, things with Itachi were not getting better at all, I was quickly realizing that one feeling could not suffocate the other at all.

I was in deep trouble and completely unsure of how to get back on track.

000

It had all started during a P.E. class outside that late November morning. The class was divided into four separate mixed teams - two of them to play volleyball, and the other two to play football on the field next to that one. As fate might've decided, both Naruto and I were on opposite volleyball teams which, in itself, never failed to be dangerous because, well, everybody knew that we were unbeatable when we teamed up for whatever, but when we competed against each other, let's just say that it was an event that usually drew a lot of attention. It didn't happen as often as one might think, though.

I could never really understand it myself; that rush that took over me whenever we had to come face to face against each other. I always struggled to be the best at everything I did, and even though I knew that some part of Naruto looked up to that side of me, I also knew he hated how cocky I became about my own skills, which made him want to step up to my level and bring me down.

Competition between us was never friendly. When we got down to business, we were ready to draw blood. One would expect for us to have forgotten that impulse now that we were a couple, but I have to admit that, if anything, the fact that we _were_ together only made the adrenaline pump harder through my veins. It wasn't just rivalry anymore – it was also a battle for power, and a challenge to see how things would go now that we were more than friends.

The secret smirk Naruto gave me from across the field, as well as the evil, excited glint in his eyes confirmed that he was thinking and feeling the exact same thing. For the first time ever, I found myself becoming helplessly aroused even before the whistle was blown. This was just what I needed to blow off some steam.

The match started off normally, all of us twelve participants giving our best, some playing better than others. Asuma-sensei had done a good job in setting up the teams and the game was well balanced. Slowly, though, the best stood out and became more active in the game while the weaker ones served as backup. In my team, among others, I had Sakura and Kiba as the strong ones while in Naruto's team, he had Suigetsu and Tenten. As it was usual whenever Naruto and I were competing, some students gathered round the field, watching the game from outside the fences with interest. After all, we were both two of the most popular guys in our school for opposite reasons, and even though everybody knew we were childhood friends, they also knew that, when rivalry came forward, it was almost certain that we'd put on a show.

It was an intense match, both teams desperately wanting to win. Lots of insults were traded, growls of frustration were released whenever the opposite team scored, and yet, it was all immensely exciting. It was thrilling to see the dead serious look on Naruto's face, his relentlessness and the fierce look of determination in his eyes that gave away just how passionately he wanted to beat me.

It didn't really take long for the match to be reduced to basically me and him because that's exactly just how competitive we were; not to mention that most of the people supposedly playing with us already knew when it was time to back off.

Fifteen minutes into the game and I could feel the familiar expectant vibe coming from the audience. There was tension in the air, an also familiar hesitation that I understood all too well – because, really, a friendly match between us was simply something that didn't exist – and everybody knew that, sooner or later, the lid would pop off and all hell would break loose.

This honestly didn't faze me, and neither did I expect it to change just because we were together. In fact, I didn't want it to, and I hoped Naruto felt the same way.

At least he wasn't holding back, and that was exactly what I wanted.

I could feel the stiffness in our classmates' demeanor, as if ready to jump in if things got too personal. I had never really noticed this until now. It was kind of funny.

I could hear Naruto throwing curses at me whenever I scored. Sometimes I would curse between my teeth, but I wasn't paying any real attention to what either of us said, too focused on winning or in feeling frustrated whenever he caught up.

At some point, Asuma-sensei blew up the whistle to end the match and move to another activity. Whistles and words of encouragement could be heard from all around. I was sweating and breathing hard, my muscles aching from the short but intense match, hands shaking slightly with adrenaline. Naruto was gloating loudly about how he had won the match – not by much, but it was true nonetheless – but, again, I didn't really process half the nonsense he was sprouting. I picked up the ball from the ground automatically.

People were congratulating him, and I could listen to Suigetsu and Sakura talking to me as I wiped my face with the hem of my thin sweater.

It wasn't that I was mad at Naruto, far from it. My eyes were glued to his energetic figure, like a fly drawn to a blue light. There was a mixture of irritation, arousal and longing boiling inside of me, and I didn't really know what to do with those feelings. It had been a while since I had felt this annoyed towards him, but since the feeling wasn't exactly the same as before we were lovers, it was… _confusing_ , to say the least.

As we made our way to the other training field, he was walking ahead of me and my group, and I could hear him saying stuff about me to the group following him – the usual obnoxious insulting teasing and self-praising of himself.

Before I knew what had gotten over me, I was throwing the ball in his direction, accurately hitting the back of his head with precision and probably more force than I had intended.

People around us gasped as he yelped rather indignantly and touched the back of his head before turning around on his heels and looking straight at me, surprise and anger filling his deep blue eyes. Somehow, it gave me great pleasure to see it because now he truly was focused on _me_ alone.

It only took seconds. His eyes were locked intensely on mine, quickly accessing the situation and trying to read me, and I allowed myself to be an open book, but exclusively to him. When his eyebrows shot up in realization, my excitement grew, and I could barely contain the shiver that threatened to shake my whole body. I almost laughed when his expression became feral.

Next thing I knew, he was making his way through our classmates. I saw Kiba and Shikamaru trying to grab his arms to stop him, but he was too fast for them. Suigetsu had gotten in front of me in a protective stance but I shoved him aside protectively – knowing this was no joke - right before Naruto threw himself at me, his brute force throwing me off balance and making us both fall backwards to the ground. Thanks to my quick reflexes, I managed to prevent my head from hitting the cement.

Vaguely I heard Sakura shrieking, people yelling, and Asuma-sensei shouting for us to stop.

But it was too late because we were already rolling on the ground in an assault of fists and legs.

I don't really remember much of our old fights, to be honest. It was always a blur of pain, adrenaline, hissed curses and the desperate need to defend myself and give back just as much as I was receiving, so it was all very primal and very instinctual.

_Punch. Kick. Shove. Slap_. I could feel pain and my lower lip splitting open, and then a torturing ache as my own fist hit his cheek. Sometimes I was on top, other times I wasn't. Knees and elbows were quickly being scrapped raw by the tar ground beneath us.

It was painful and fast, but not as much as other fights we had gotten into before we became lovers. It was a need I'm sure neither of us could explain, and yet, it wasn't as violent as it could've been.

I shouted all sorts of insults at him, but I wasn't angry, just pretty hyped up and, I noticed, unbelievable horny. There was just something terribly fucked up but incredibly sexy in the way our bodies moved together so eagerly and viciously, and in the way his ragged breath shook with an excitement that matched mine. I didn't care about the insults Naruto threw back at me, I knew he didn't mean it. He wanted this as much as I did, and that was more than fine with me.

At some point, I managed to gain leverage and rolled us over so I was on top on him, straddling his waist. He cursed at me, his hips buckling up as if he was trying to throw me off him but only managing to rub his very prominent erection between my ass cheeks. Frankly, I couldn't be more pleased as I looked down to his bruised cheekbone and split eyebrow and saw the clear lust disguised as fury in those wild blue eyes.

I caught his wrists in mid-air as he was lunging his fists at me again and I leaned down nimbly to pine them forcefully to the ground. With a smirk, I couldn't help but press my cock down on his pelvis and rub in one rough, swift movement that made him grit his teeth in frustration and unconsciously buck upwards for more friction.

Before we could take things further, though, I felt someone surrounding my waist and brusquely pulling me up and away from Naruto.

We were quickly surrounded by people, everybody talking loudly and at the same time. I could hear Asuma-sensei yelling in my ear while Kiba was helping Naruto up, but our eyes never left each other as we both panted, unable to truly understand what had happened just then.

I couldn't really hear what was being said to me. In fact, I didn't really give a damn about everyone else. I simply stared, fascinated, at the way he glared at me, chest rising and falling rapidly while he brought his thumb to the corner of his mouth to the bruise there.

Shaking Kiba's hands away from him, Naruto ran a hand through his messy locks before turning around and shoving the crowd aside so he could leave.

Smirking victoriously, I all but watched his retreating back.

TBC…


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by the lovely fellow writer fangirlandiknowit!
> 
> WARNINGS: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICIT M/M. LOTS OF IT. 
> 
> ALSO, please, don't see the previous fight between Sasuke and Naruto as abusive. I sort of thought of their canon dynamics and how it was mentioned sometime in the fic that they used to fight a lot, so this between them was just them blowing off some steam out of frustration I suppose, and it's acknowledged by both, as you will see. Thus the need to work it out through other means, yes?
> 
> Now... ENJOY!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Fifteen**

_Naruto's POV_

Once I was by myself in the boys' dressing room, I rummaged through my sports bag and took out a towel, my whole body still shivering from the fight with Sasuke, my skin aching from the scratches and bruises he had inflicted.

A part of me was still pissed about that stupid fight, but another part was resenting being pissed because… I had missed the bastard.

It had been a few days since we had been able to actually touch each other and be together. He had been feeling stressed and upset about something since before our meeting with Sakura, and while I had wanted to help him, he had made it clear that he needed his space, so I gave it to him, even if, most of the times, I just wanted to be with him and ask him what was wrong. He promised that he'd tell me, eventually, so I let it go. The fact that he pretended that nothing was wrong was also something that almost made me forget something was off.

And now, _this_. This sudden mass of need on his part. He had silently asked for it, had needed it, and I had given it to him.

Not only that, but if I were to be really honest with myself, the absurd brawl had probably looked deadly to viewers' eyes, but to me, even though it had been painful, it had also been exciting beyond reason. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but feeling Sasuke's anger and his powerful, aggressive body language had been quite the unexpected turn on. And the asshole had rubbed himself all over me, too, showing off his own hard on like a fucking animal in heat, trying to make some kind of statement. And I had rubbed myself on him, too. If Kiba hadn't stopped him, who knows what could've happened?

Mostly, I was pissed at myself, because I was so far gone in my own hormonal frenzy that I wouldn't have managed to stop him. And to think that I had almost cum in my underwear just from something like that.

_Fucking prick._

I slumped down on the wooden bench beside my bag and leaned my head back against the wall. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. In spite of everything, I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

There was no matching Sasuke's flaming passion in everything he did. He gave himself so easily, so devotedly that it was absolutely fascinating to watch. He would've made me cum in front of all those people just to prove a point, of that I had no doubts. But he was reckless. More reckless than I had ever expected him to be, and that only meant that, whatever state of mind he was in, it was definitely destabilizing him. I knew exactly what it was.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. That couldn't be good. As his lover, it was my duty to give him what he needed and make sure he wouldn't look for it anywhere else. More and more, I was considering Sasuke as someone who belonged to _me_ , and I wanted him to feel that way, too. I wanted to make sure he would always turn to _me_ first. I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't. I wasn't going to lose him.

"What the fuck, Naruto!" I looked to the side to see Kiba entering the dressing room and looking positively furious. Passively, I watched him stop in front of me with his fists clenched at his sides, brown eyes concerned and wild. "Is this the kind of relationship you have with him? Do you realize just how fucked up this is?"

"It's not fucked up, Kiba, it's just the way we've always been," I replied naturally, offering him a small smile.

"You can't date someone and beat the shit out them at the same time!" Kiba yelled, disbelievingly. "That's fucking abuse, man!"

I sighed. "It's okay, Kiba, seriously."

"It's not fucking _okay_!" He snapped, his voice echoing through the room. "How is this even healthy? Is this even what you want from a relationship?"

"What if it is?" I retorted, teasingly, hoping to lighten the mood but to no avail.

"That's fucking bullshit man!" He all but growled at me. "You're not this kind of person, Naruto! After all the shit you went through, you deserve better!"

A little dazed at his choice of words, I watched him pace in front of me as he ran his fingers through his messy brown hair. I frowned, not really understanding what the big deal was. Sasuke and I used to fight a lot before. Sure, we didn't really fist fight all that often, but still, it had happened enough times that he should know it was bound to happen again at some point.

"I honestly don't understand what you mean," I said tiredly, wiping my face with the towel in my hand. "I'm dating the hottest guy from school, Kiba, and yes, it's fucked up how we got together, but it's the most fulfilled relationship I've had since forever, so no, I can't see how I 'deserve better'."

Kiba stopped pacing, looking at me as if I'd just grown another head, his mouth hanging open.

"Look, you don't understand the way we work," I proceeded, calmly, lowering the towel and noticing the small stains of blood on it. "And I'm not going to explain it to you. We're dudes, we don't necessarily have to be holding hands and being nice all the time. It's how things work and you either try to accept it or you don't." I lifted my head up and watched him for a few seconds, trying to read him. His posture was tense, defensive and unusually angry. Something about his attitude was upsetting me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. "Why, exactly, are you making a big deal out of it?"

"Because I care about you and I don't think this is normal!"

"I'm not 'normal', you should know that," I replied, shrugging. Kiba huffed in distaste.

"So, you just go around looking for fucked up relationships?" He hissed through clenched teeth, and, for some reason, his tone didn't sit well with me.

"Well, maybe I like them fucked up!" I defended stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly. "Maybe I just need someone as fucked up as me!"

"Or maybe you just don't know any better!" My best friend spat, scornfully.

I snorted. "And you do?"

Kiba was going to say something when a familiar voice made itself be heard.

"Hey."

We both looked to the side to find that Sasuke was standing at the entrance door, sweating, clothes rumpled and looking as beat up as I did. Looking at his disheveled appearance, bruised face and split lip made a familiar rush wash over me, and I had to resort to all my self-control to stop myself from jumping him then and there.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice even and casual as if we hadn't beaten each other up just a while ago.

"Asuma-sensei says we're supposed to go to the infirmary," Sasuke said, just as casually.

"I'm fine, I don't need to go to the infirmary," I said, dismissively. I could tell, from Kiba's almost instant tenseness that he was completely flabbergasted by the interaction.

"Yeah, me neither." Sasuke ventured a nasty smirk my way. "We're off the hook for now, but he says he'll give us a month's detention if it happens again."

"Whatever." My own smirk was meant to be intimate, from one accomplice to the other. "Shower?"

"Of course."

"Oh, give me a fucking break!" Kiba growled, throwing his hands up in the air in fury. "You know what? You two can just go fuck yourselves."

This being said, he stomped out of the locker room, making sure to bump shoulders with Sasuke aggressively before disappearing from sight. Sasuke simply watched him go before shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly and slamming the door closed.

"What crawled up his ass?" He asked, not really sounding all that interested in the answer anyway.

"No idea," I said lightly, stretching my arms over my head to ease the pain in my muscles. "He must be on his period or something."

Sasuke rolled his eyes but acknowledged the joke with a small, crooked smile.

I eyed him intently from head to toe, taking in his appearance and mentally listing all the things I felt like I could do to him right now if we weren't in danger of someone walking in on us soon. From the look he returned, I knew he was thinking the exact same thing. "So, my place or yours?"

000

"Are you sure the door is locked?" Sasuke panted under me before mouthing my neck possessively, lifting one leg up between mine to purposefully rub his knee over my groin, making me hiss slightly.

My unmade bed was a complete mess of sheets beneath us, and usually, such display of chaos would bother him, but he wasn't complaining, so I didn't even ask if he was alright with it or not.

"I'm positive, but we'll probably have to keep quiet in case my mom gets home," I breathed out, before sitting on my heels and swiftly removing my sweater and throwing it to the side before straddling his thighs while my hands tried to hurriedly unbutton the white shirt of my school uniform without much success.

Sasuke, who had already efficiently removed his own tie, sweater and shirt during our frantic make out session on our way to the bed, sat up and swatted my hands out of the way, replacing them with deft fingers and quickly undoing all the buttons. I straightened up more so he could slide the shirt down and off my arms. I then lifted them up on instinct and he pulled my white tank top over my head and threw it to the side, removing his own dark red one afterwards so we were both naked from waist up. The air was a bit chilly and caused goose bumps to form all over both our skins, but it wasn't as if I was cold.

Sasuke wasted no time in pressing open mouthed kisses all over my chest soothingly – where some of my fresh bruises were – while his now far too expert hands worked in undoing my belt and popping the button of my jeans. Fuck, he was becoming really good at this, his hands efficient and composed but without losing that intensity that was so his.

With my breath running fast, I buried my hands in the soft spikes of his hair, looking down at him as he confidently pulled my pants and boxers down only enough to free my erection. I could only feel elegant fingers being wrapped around my cock and pulling the delicate skin back before a moist and warm tongue ran over the sensitive head, causing me to groan in pleasure. Like a cat, Sasuke licked at the tip a few times experimentally, like he always did to get accustomed to the taste, before engulfing the length with his mouth.

I hissed slightly at the sensation and threw my head back, absently running my fingers through his hair.

It wasn't as if Sasuke was already a pro at cock sucking, to be honest, and he was still relatively new to it. Still, he was learning fast and his enthusiasm made up for the lack of greater skill. Although, I must say, his efforts were well worth it, and please, it was Uchiha fucking Sasuke, the guy who a few years from then would be running for role of the sexiest guy in Japan. I had no problems being turned on by his every action.

His head bobbed up and down confidently, his left hand pumping the length in tempo with his mouth as his right one moved to grab hold of one of my butt cheeks, squeezing before teasing fingers ran over the curve of my crack until the tip of one brushed a very private spot. I didn't have a mind to complain, because I always enjoyed his cautious, experimental teasing. I took a deep breath and allowed him to suck me off for a while, letting the heat build in the pit of my stomach and the adrenaline consume me.

I closed my eyes and released a low moan as he pulled back slightly and opened his mouth to run his tongue over the head and swirl it around it, gently but with just the right amount of pressure and saliva, like he knew I liked it. I looked down, feeling my chest start to constrict with lust and my breathing becoming more elaborate as I watched his head move. Since I couldn't see what he was doing, I used both hands to pull his inky bangs out of the way so I could see his face. My eyes narrowed when he rolled his dark ones to look up at me without stopping his ministrations, and I couldn't help but press my lips together. I loved it when he looked at me like that – fierce, intense and lustful.

He ran his tongue from the base of my cock to the head in a slow and sensuous move, capturing a bit of the slimy, transparent pre-cum. The fluid overflowed unexpectedly and ended up dripping from his mouth and down his chin, but he ignored it. Inhaling deeply, Sasuke made an appreciative sound before engulfing the member once more with enthusiasm. I watched him contemplatively in wonder, because he genuinely seemed to be enjoying himself. He was always so active, so participative whenever we got involved, and it was clear he always wanted to make the best of it, and that always surprised me. I never told him to suck me off (even though he'd sometimes tell me to do it to him) but he'd always take the initiative. Still, I was only starting to wrap my mind around the fact that maybe, just maybe, Sasuke actually liked doing what he was doing.

Tilting my head to the side, I risked thrusting a bit to see how he'd react to me trying to fuck his mouth, which made him look up again in questioning. He slowed down considerably and clearly tried to adjust his jaw around my cock, so I took it as a positive reaction and ventured a few more thrusts. I started with short ones, observing as the head disappeared and resurfaced from the inside of the wet cavern, and once he seemed exasperated enough with my slow teasing, I moved my hips in slow, leisured but longer thrusts, going deep at first – but not enough to make him choke – and pulling back, enjoying the way I could see my cock disappear behind those gorgeous lips. I liked the way the firm muscles of his shoulders shifted under pale, perfect skin and how he seemed to like making small noises with the back of his throat around my cock.

Fuck, the gods just had to create such a person who just had to look so deviously sinful all the fucking time.

"You look so good like this, Sasuke," I complimented in a breath, unable to stop myself.

The hand holding my cock abandoned it to touch my sac, massaging it carefully in his palm while the other kept rubbing the tips of two fingers over my anus almost casually. I shivered a bit and stifled a groan. It was nothing but a light touch, not meant to go further, but the teasing sure did its job.

While I had wanted for us to fool around a bit and handle some of the frustration that we shared, I had just planned on us relieving some tension and doing the usual stuff, but then, seeing Sasuke doing what he was doing so eagerly reminded me of his confession about wanting to take things further. I thought about our fight and about the pure, vicious way of telling me exactly what he wanted from me – what he needed – and, as his lover, it was my job to give it to him.

He pulled away from my cock for only a brief moment. With my lips parted, I watched him bring his middle finger to his mouth and lick it, coating it rather thoroughly with saliva. I didn't need to ask to know what was on his mind, and he didn't bother to ask if I was okay with it since we both knew the other would definitely complain if something didn't please them. I was okay with it, and I wanted him to be happy about this and to do things his own way. It pleased me greatly that he was so curious about experimenting, and merely thinking about what was to come turned me on even more.

I tugged at the hair at the back of his head and lured his face towards my cock again. He smirked up at me before taking me into his mouth again.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, basking in the feeling of his heat on me, feeling the anticipation build and the pleasure grow as the seconds ticked by.

Then, there was that damned teasing finger rubbing over my entrance again, but considerably slicker now. I could tell Sasuke was hesitating, but I was too eager already to back down.

"Just do it," I panted encouragingly. "I'm close…"

Apparently, that was all he needed to feel reassured. His finger wasn't shy in pressing its tip inside me, and even though the touch was slightly rough, and I was already more than unaccustomed to the penetration, I didn't let any of it affect me and simply allowed myself to feel. There was no particular gentleness to it, but Sasuke's mouth on me was hungry and relentless. Still, as I felt the digit moving further in, aided by his saliva, the small amount of stinging feeling turned my brain to mush and adrenaline coursed through my body at the speed of light.

I had forgotten how good being penetrated was, even if it was only a finger, and I was happy that it was him doing it after so long. I was able to relax and trust him completely because it was _him_. The thought of Sasuke going down on me while he had a part of his body inside me was something my mind reveled in.

"Oh, shit," I whispered, feeling my muscles shaking in uncontained pleasure, my fingers gripping his hair tightly. He pushed the finger further in until it was about halfway through before pulling it out. He managed to repeat the action a few times as he sucked me eagerly, not complaining when my hips began moving on their own – either to fuck his mouth until he gagged or to demand his finger in deeper I didn't know and didn't care. All I knew was that each passing second brought me closer to my climax and that he was blissfully accepting of everything I did.

It had been quite a long time since I had felt this aroused and this desperate to just let go and allow myself to receive pleasure so freely.

I was only vaguely aware of him pushing the finger roughly all the way inside of me before a shiver took over my body, and I wasn't even able to warn him as I shut my eyes, pleasure washing over me as I came into his mouth, automatically thrusting into the heat with a long, probably far too loud moan. I think I hissed his name at some point, too, but I was too busy enjoying the ride to really care.

It seemed to last forever, but once it was over, I didn't stop myself from releasing a highly-satisfied sigh.

"Fuck, Sasuke," I panted, completely spent, looking down at him through heavy lidded eyes and seeing him wiping at his mouth with his wrist, looking up at me with a pleased smirk.

"Was it good?" he asked, breathing a bit heavily himself.

I smiled at him and pet the top of his head lovingly. "It was great," I praised. "I can't believe you actually swallowed."

"It's not like you gave me a choice," he replied, but not spitefully. "But I don't mind it, you don't taste half bad."

His finger abandoned me in a slow, cautious move, before he kept both his hands busy in caressing the sides of my legs, almost alluringly.

I kept running my fingers through his dark bluish locks, contemplating him and staring into grey eyes that had darkened with lust induced by the activities he had just performed. I could see that he was still pretty worked up from the way he breathed and by the pink flush that painted his cheeks and chest, which was only normal since he hadn't cum yet.

He licked his lips in an unconsciously sensual way. The cut on his lower lip had re opened and was bleeding a tiny bit, but he didn't seem to notice. His eyes seemed to bore holes into mine, sparkling with obvious need in them, barely blinking as they seemed to be demanding me to do something. I bit my lip, his transparent want for me making me want to return the favor while I was still high from what he had done to me.

I pressed a hand to his chest to make him lie on his back over the pillows, happy that he complied so easily. I sat back on my heels for a while, still straddling his thighs as I admired him. The _Ying Yang_ necklace I gave him rested between his pecks; the silvery chain oddly beautiful against his skin. I leaned down and licked a drop of remaining fluids off his chin before seeking his mouth. We kissed, languidly and wetly, lips moving over each other and tongues meeting in quiet but eager slurps. The taste of his blood filled my senses, and it was oddly sinful and intimate in the most thrilling of ways. I shivered openly when his hands caressed my torso, thumbs brushing over my nipples that had hardened considerably during our activities. I broke the kiss and placed a few kisses all over his jaw and neck.

"Do you trust me?" I whispered in his ear, satisfied when he took a sharp intake of air.

"You don't have to ask, idiot," he replied in an equally husky tone, kissing my cheek and then offering it a small lick.

I sat back and straightened up once more. My hands moved to his pants and I unbuckled his belt, more in control now than I had been when we first got on the bed, even if I still sported an erection that was having a hard time faltering. He watched me with his teeth buried in his lower lip and a smirk. I dismounted him and tugged at the waist of his pants, which made him lift his hips up so I could effectively remove both his pants and boxers all in one go. Throwing the offending garments to the side, my eyes took in the view of his naked, perfect body and of the perfectly erected cock resting over a firm navel.

Even with his face screwed up, he was so unbelievably good-looking it was baffling.

"Get on your hands and knees," I said, purposefully making it sound more like a suggestion than a command. Sasuke tilted one eyebrow upwards but immediately obeyed. I moved to give him room as he easily got into position. With his naked ass facing me now, he looked over his shoulder, looking calm in his trusting demeanor. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the contrast of his dark hair over his skin was.

"Are you going to fuck me?" he asked, teasingly waggling his ass a bit. "Not that I had planned on something terribly romantic, but I know I might kill you if we're interrupted."

I smiled at him while I ran both my hands over the sides of his body, then all the way up to his back and shoulder blades, being especially careful on those spots that already had dark, angry marks caused by our fight. I leaned over him briefly. "You're not ready for me yet," I said in his ear, rubbing his shoulders.

"You're not that big," he joked, a hint of appreciation in his voice, looking away again.

I leaned back and then down to bite at one of the meaty, firm globes of his buttocks. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Sasuke," I mumbled, huskily. "Just shut up and be nice, or I might not give you the best orgasm you've had so far."

"Don't boss me around, moron," he retorted with poorly concealed excitement, just as I was spreading the cheeks to expose the pink pucker. I eyed it attentively for a while, noticing how absurdly tiny and tight it looked in its so obvious virgin state. It was a pretty little thing all things considered; untouched and innocent, and I was going to have my way with it for the first time.

An impeding wave of luscious sexual hunger hit me then. A thrilling chill ran down my spine and I knew that I absolutely wanted to make him come _hard_. With a mischievous grin, I licked my lips, feeling him tense in anticipation. He had to know what was coming, and still, there was no protest coming from him, which only increased my determination.

Without hesitation, I placed a brief kiss to the small entrance. I could hear Sasuke holding his breath.

"I don't want you to touch yourself," I said, forcing myself to keep my voice steady, but gentle. "I want you to let me make you feel really good."

"Okay," he acquiesced, in a surprisingly accepting but now rather breathless tone. "I'm okay with whatever you want to do. I want it."

That was all I needed to keep going. Pecking the same spot I had kissed before, I gently blew over it before pressing my opened mouth to it. I wasn't planning on being slow, I just really wanted him to love every single minute of it, so I didn't waste time and kissed the pucker lovingly as if it were a pair of lips, moving my mouth over it languidly and occasionally flicking my tongue over the sensitive skin, noticing how tightly clenched it was.

I heard Sasuke gasp slightly, his body shivering a bit at the unfamiliarity of it, but he didn't complain, so I kept going at it for a while, rubbing his butt cheeks in a way I hoped to be soothing and reassuring.

To be honest, rim jobs weren't exactly something I did very often because not all of my male partners were comfortable with it, not to mention that it wasn't something I usually wanted to do willingly. It wasn't like a vagina, per se, and not exactly the neatest part of a person's body. But Sasuke was Sasuke, so there was nothing I didn't want to do to him.

Once I felt that he was getting used to the feel of it, I spread his cheeks wide enough and went down on him confidently, my tongue darting out to unabashedly lick the ring of muscle eagerly, flattening my tongue over it and causing Sasuke to jerk violently at the sensation.

"Fuck, Naruto," he moaned shamelessly, moving forward a bit as if to escape the ministration, but quickly pushing back towards my mouth in an action that clearly begged for more. "Holy shit…"

I had to stop myself from grinning as I licked at the pucker a bit more, making sure I was using enough saliva, enjoying the way it slowly unclenched to become softer and more receptive. Pulling away briefly, I wasted a few seconds in running my hands down the back of both of Sasuke's thighs, not being shy in brushing my thumbs over his hanging testicles afterwards. Then, I sneaked a hand between his legs to grab hold of them in my palm and rub them carefully before moving it so it was touching the underside of his hard cock. He hissed when I held the length in my hand and gave it a couple slow strokes. I watched as he released a long, shaky breath, his head falling down so his chin connected to his chest. He gave a few thrusts against my hand, also slow, as if he was forcing himself to be in control in such a situation, fists clenching around the sheets beneath his hands.

Swallowing hard, I felt the head of his cock starting to release the fluids of arousal helplessly. He was really getting into it, wasn't he? I knew he wouldn't last if he was this excited.

I placed my free hand over his hip to stop him from moving while my other hand continued stroking him with agonizing slowness. By the groan of irritation coming from him, I realized he was feeling frustrated, but that only increased my own excitement, knowing I had been successful in making him build up his pleasure.

"I'm going to do to you what you did to me," I said, my voice coming out in a husky whisper, feeling very pleased by the tremor that shook the body in front of me. "It will be a bit uncomfortable, but I promise I'll make it really good for you. You want it?"

Sasuke was breathing deeply, but he uttered a low and confident "Yes."

"Alright," I muttered, taking a deep breath to steady my own anxiousness.

Grabbing for his butt cheeks again, I resumed my previous task. The small hole of flesh was getting more and more relaxed by the second, even though it had started to clench and unclench in obvious eagerness, so I dared to take it a step further and press the tip of my tongue to it, easing it open teasingly to test Sasuke's reaction to it.

He seemed to be in seventh heaven, because he moaned, his body twitching and squirming, and he was actually pushing back again, in a clear demand for me to go further, to do more.

Pulling away, I brought two fingers to my mouth and sucked on them like he had done previously, coating them with saliva. Once I considered that they were slick enough, I didn't waste time in pressing the tip of my index finger to the passage, circling it a bit in a sort of warning for him to know what was coming. He had done the same to me, but it was something I knew, while this was news to him. I heard Sasuke swallowing hard and releasing a breath.

Feeling a thrill of delight course thought my bloodstream, I pressed the tip inside. Sasuke hissed a bit as I made the finger slip inside slowly, until it was in as far as it could go. As I had expected, he was unbelievably tight, but his body was welcoming me.

"You okay?" I inquired, a weird fascination making me feel a bit breathless.

"I'm fucking _fine_ ," Sasuke snapped impatiently, again, not refraining from moving his hips towards me for emphasis, feeling his pucker clenching around my finger as if to prove his point. "Don't treat me like I'm a fucking girl. I actually want to cum sometime during this millennium."

I couldn't help but grin at how shaken and anxious he sounded. "As if I'd ever treat you like a girl. There's nothing girly about you."

Compliantly, I made my hand speed up as I stroked him a little faster now. I moved my finger a bit, in and out, easily, reveling in how relaxed the orifice had become. Sasuke actually released a low, long grunt with the back of his throat and arched his back, clearly enjoying every single second of it, before lowering his upper body so it was supported on his elbows, his forehead resting over my pillow. I pushed my finger in deeper still, twisting it a bit, and watched in fascination as he spread his knees further apart in response and began pushing back, yet still making sure his cock got the attention it needed. I wasn't sure if he was looking for more stimulation there or more penetration, because he seemed to, at least, be intent on fucking my hand rather thoroughly.

If I hadn't cum just a few minutes previously, I was sure I would've been rock hard by then.

Doing two different things at the same time and in such an awkward position wasn't exactly easy, but I didn't mind just to get that kind of reaction out of him. It wasn't as if Sasuke was the kind to simply ask more for, but his body delivered the message quite effectively.

"You're really into this, aren't you?" I teased.

"Fuck yeah," he breathed, shakily. "That feels really… That's so…"

"Shh," I said, removing my finger carefully. His protest was easily muffled as I now eased two fingers inside of him, making him hiss loudly. "Didn't you say you wanted to cum? Just focus on that."

Sasuke was as pliant as he had been since the beginning I had no idea if he was hurting, but I was careful enough, and confident enough in my own abilities to trust that I was managing to give him some form of painful pleasure with minimum discomfort.

I moved forward so that I was licking what I could of the tight passage constricting around my digits so as to simultaneously soothe it and add more saliva to it while my fingers penetrated him further. I probed his insides gently, the tightness of him filling me with a weird sense of respect, excitement and a kind of adoration I don't think I'd ever experienced before. He – his body – was so receptive to me that it blew my mind away. That he'd give me exclusive access to something so private was nothing short of thrilling and the knowledge made my chest constrict. The trust he was placing upon me was crazy.

I felt him shiver again, almost violently, making me gulp. The sight alone was devastatingly sensual, and I couldn't help but smirk. "You're really sexy, Sasuke, did you know that?"

"Naruto, I'm close…" he panted, rocking his hips with more emphasis now, cock sliding rather easily in my palm since he had been leaking rather heavily up until then.

With all my knowledge on the subject, I managed to find that special spot inside him rather quickly, so I carefully pressed down on it. The lustful sound he released almost made me drool, and then almost choke up on my own spit.

"Oh, shit… fuck, that's good…" he moaned, shamelessly rocking against my hand faster, squeezing around my fingers as if to pull them further in. "Fuck Naruto! Goddamitjustfuckmelikeyoufuckingmeanit!"

In my surprise, I made myself keep the laughter in check, even though I was torn between amusement and psychological – traveling towards physical – arousal. I had no idea if my brain found him hilarious or insanely hot after that. Maybe both. No, definitely both.

"You're so fucking hot…" I said, also a little out of breath, as I obediently did as I was told and proceeded to thrust my fingers inside him fast – expertly –, being cautious but considerate so as to make sure I hit that spot with every plunge. My other hand worked fast and struggled to keep a somewhat steady rhythm in tempo with his frantic and unsynchronized rocking, but he was too far gone to even care anymore, and his movements were clumsy.

Next thing I knew Sasuke was taking a sharp breath, the orifice clenching powerfully around my fingers and he was shuddering with a low grunt, riding his orgasm freely as he came, pulsing in my hand while his warm seed coated it. Once he was done, he went still, breathing hard, but the slight quivering hadn't left his body yet.

I withdrew my fingers from him with as much gentleness as I could, planting small kisses on his ass cheeks and then on his lower back, lovingly, hoping that it'd offer him some form of comfort. Straightening up, I moved a bit to give him space, and slowly, he got on all fours again before turning and slumping down on a graceless sitting position, with one leg bended and another dangling from the edge of the bed. His eyes were glazed and narrowed in bliss, and he never looked more fuckable to me.

Laying back at the foot of the bed with my elbows supporting my weight behind me, I laughed.

"That was so good. You're so good at this," he said, shaking his head as if he still couldn't believe it. "Why? No one should be this good at fingering another guy's ass, seriously." With a sigh, he buried his face in one hand, looking like he didn't know how to feel about it. "I came all over your sheets."

"So?" I asked casually. "We'll just put them in the washing machine before my mom gets home. I only care about whether you liked it or not."

Curiously, I watched his reaction, waiting for his answer while I absently brought my thumb to my mouth, sucking off the remains of his cum. He lowered his hand and looked at me, passively now, but dark orbs quickly became sharp as I licked more off his seed from the palm of my hand, looking transfixed. Attentively, he watched me lick my own hand clean with obvious interest.

"It was fucking amazing," he admitted after I was done and he had somehow managed to regain his voice, nodding once in an almost solemn way. "It just made me want you to fuck me even more."

I smiled, trying to be flirty even though having him saying it so straightforwardly was rather embarrassing and made all sorts of weird things happen to my stomach. I knew he was just being provocative on purpose. "Soon, Sasuke. Soon."

A few thoughtful seconds followed, during which we all but looked at each other unblinkingly. Then, he said, "I'm sorry for riling you up like that in front of everybody."

The apology took me by surprise. "Don't be stupid," I said, with a small frown. "I think it was obvious that I liked it. In fact, I think we both needed it."

"I know that, but somehow I feel like I took advantage of you for stress relief."

"Isn't that what I'm here for?" I poked his thigh with my foot in a playful way. "To be your friend, boyfriend and provide all the sex you can get?"

He frowned. "That's not what I mean," he muttered, sounding reproachful. "I could've just gone for the sex for relief, but I needed more than that and I made you give it to me. It's really fucked up, and I'm sorry. This is not how we're supposed to be."

This made me wonder if he had eavesdropped on my conversation with Kiba somehow. I heaved a long sigh. I didn't need Sasuke doubting the balance in our relationship at this point. The whole world could do it for all I cared, but not him.

"Come here, you," I called, motioning him closer with a hand. Sasuke hesitated, but eventually came to me and lay down beside me, his head resting on my chest. I laid down as well, hugged his naked shoulders reassuringly and planted a kiss on the top of his head. "I could tell you've been a little out of it lately," I confessed in a comforting whisper. "And it's okay if you don't want to talk to me about it. But I'm your boyfriend. You said the other day that we're in this together, and I feel the same way."

He hugged my torso and squeezed. "I know that, but I've already placed a heavy enough burden on your shoulders." He sighed. "I really do like you, Naruto. You don't deserve to be subjected to my emotional breakdowns, and definitely not like this."

"But I want to," I assured him, running my fingers through his still slightly wet hair. "I want to be there for you no matter what, even if that means that you beat the crap out of me. Even if you don't want to talk to me, at least I get to see your feelings. I'm here for the bad, too, Sasuke, not just for the amazing bits."

Sasuke was silent for a while, his arm relaxing around me. I could feel his nails scratching the side of my body carefully, considerately.

"It's not like I don't want to talk to you," he whispered, with that scary seriousness of his. "It's just that I'm scared of hurting you. But I feel like I should talk to you and tell you because if I don't, it'll ruin everything we've been building so far. And I don't want that. Our relationship deserves more."

I lifted my head off the mattress and looked down at him. He turned his face to me, his chin over my chest, and I could see that weird anguish in his eyes, as well as determination, anxiousness. There was also… I don't want to say 'love', but I could see the depth of his feelings for me reflected there, and it was really breath-taking.

I wondered how the mood turned so sour and so suddenly. I wondered why I could feel him so strongly and understand his fear of breaking down those barriers, as well as his desire to move on.

And that's when I confirmed my suspicions.

"It's about that person, right?" I risked asking. From the way his eyes escaped my gaze almost instantly, I knew I had hit the target dead on. "The person you're in love with?" I couldn't help but notice the visible way he flinched.

"Yeah," he said as I caressed his bruised left cheekbone with the back of a finger. "But it's not what you think. The person is…"

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

The sound had been of knuckles roughly knocking on the door of my room and it made both Sasuke and me tense as we looked at each other in absolute horror.

_"Now that the two of you are done having your fun,"_ my dad's clearly angry voice came from the outside. " _I expect you to clean up and meet me downstairs. **Now."**_

Sasuke had gone a deadly shade of grey and I forced myself to swallow the lump in my throat.

We were so screwed it wasn't even funny.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, my lovelies, that's it for today! Three more chapters tomorrow ;)
> 
> Please don't forget to comment if you enjoy this fic. Our contact with our writers is what motivates us authors to write!
> 
> Also, do follow me on Twitter if you want @NoChidoriUchiha! Contact me if you like and we'll chat ;)
> 
> See y'all tomorrow!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by the wonderful fangirlandiknowit. Thank youuuuuu! LY!
> 
> WARNINGS: A bit of one-sided KibaNaru in this chapter.
> 
> ENJOY!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Sasuke's POV_

Sitting next to Naruto in his kitchen, I threw a venomous look at him – who gulped – before staring at Minato's back. The man was apparently pouring himself a cup of coffee, his shoulders tense.

I was still pretty much pissed off at Naruto because, seriously, how could he _not_ have known that Minato was home at that time of the day? I felt embarrassed beyond words that he had been there all along, listening to us doing those kinds of things – listening to _me_ being so ridiculously loud.

Minato was like family. He was a gentle, hardworking man that you just felt compelled to respect because he was a genuinely good person. Knowing that he had 'witnessed' something like that was horrifying to me. I mean, what parent would ever want to even think about their kid having sex, let alone actually witnessing it, even if through sound alone?

Not only that - he now knew about us. A part of me was terrified that he would go and tell my parents about it, and I wasn't sure I was ready to face them about my new-found sexuality. Fuck, my father would kill me.

With a cool expression on his face, Minato turned around, holding two cups of coffee in his hands that he placed on the table in front of me and Naruto before leaning back on the counter and crossing his arms over his chest as if waiting.

I pulled the cup of coffee to me and glanced at Naruto from the corner of my eye to see him looking a little scared.

"Weren't you supposed to be in Tokyo?" Naruto started, forcing his voice to sound casual and firm but failing miserably. "I thought you were supposed to leave with Kakashi this morning."

Minato's eyes narrowed. "That's tomorrow," he retorted dryly. "Nevertheless, when I leave the house I'm not exactly expecting my son to go behind my back and bring people home for sex."

Naruto flinched visibly and lowered his eyes to his cup, his fists clenched over his legs under the table. "It's not like that."

"And what the hell happened to both of you?" Minato interrupted, just then noticing the bruises on our faces.

"We got into a fight," I explained, not really knowing what else to say.

"With each other?"

Naruto and I exchanged a look, and both said "Yes."

Naruto's dad looked from one to the other in disbelief. Then, he shook his head vigorously and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a few steadying breaths.

"It doesn't matter. I don't want to know, anyway. We had an agreement, Naruto," Minato said after a while, looking back at us and sounding very serious and reproachful. It was weird seeing him like this when he was generally very calm. "Issue number one, you're supposed to be at school. Issue number two, your mother and I said no bringing people to the house for sex, and issue number three… _Sasuke_?! I don't even understand how this happened!"

"It's not like that, dad," Naruto repeated frowning at Minato. "I've never brought anyone home for sex, okay? And Sasuke and I are... well, it's not…"

"We're dating," I intervened, causing Minato's shoulders to tense in shock.

" _What_?" He whispered, and the way he looked at me was full of confusion. " _Dating_? _How_? Since _when_?" He gaped for a few seconds, clearly at loss for words. "Sasuke, I'm sorry, but I really don't understand. Aren't you, you know… straight?"

"I'm not, really," I said, with a shrug of my shoulders that was meant to ease up the tension in the room, but to no avail. Naruto eyed me with his eyebrows raised. "I'm probably bisexual. Or something."

"Or something?" Minato repeated, his frown deepening.

"Naruto helped me figure a few things out about myself," I explained, looking at Naruto for support, and he looked astonished for a while, but then nodded affirmatively. "It was just kind of experimental at first, but now we're really getting along so, we really are in a relationship right now."

Minato merely blinked at us. "I genuinely am speechless," he muttered, horrified. Looking hesitantly at his son, he added "Naruto, you know your mother and I are very accepting of your sexuality and all that. I know you've been heartbroken because of it, and I know you had many failed relationships. I understand that you'd look for companionship in a close friend, but I… this is really shocking. I mean, do you two really like each other like _that_? I know you guys are friends, but I'm having a hard time getting it around my head."

"I never brought anyone to the house," Naruto mumbled, his cheeks becoming pink. "None of my previous relationships were ever in my room for stuff like… well, like _that_. So, yeah, we're pretty serious?" He glanced at me now for confirmation.

"I do care a lot about Naruto," I admitted, for some reason feeling a bit embarrassed at saying something like this to his dad's face.

"I care about him, too," Naruto said, eyes sparkling suddenly. "And, come on dad, I'm a healthy teenager! That's why I was really eager to get him in my bed and get down and… _ouch_!"

He brought a hand to the back of his head, that I had just slapped. Minato simply raised his eyebrows.

"We've been together for a while now. I'm sorry that we behaved inappropriately in your house," I apologized formally, clearing my throat and trying to remain serious and composed. "It won't happen again."

Naruto wasn't even good to himself in front of his father, seriously. What was he expecting by saying those things; getting grounded for life?

The man looked at us for a while, still obviously unsure of what to think. "Does Fugaku know about this?" He eventually asked.

"No!" Naruto said at once, suddenly looking apprehensive. "Only Itachi and Kiba know, for now. And Fugaku-san would probably kill me for turning his son gay, anyway."

"I'm not gay," I defended. "Not exactly."

"Well, yes, that would most certainly happen," Minato agreed ignoring me while scratching his cheek hesitantly. "Somehow, Itachi indulging the two of you kind of makes me feel both worried and relieved. I honestly don't know how I feel about this."

"You can't be that angry or confused, dad, you're the one always teasing me about Sasuke!" Naruto pointed out.

"Yes, because you clearly always had some sort of attraction to him," Minato countered, rolling his eyes. Then, he huffed, and his shoulders hunched in defeat. "Look, just finish your coffee, go put your sheets in the washing machine and go back to school. I need to think about this."

Naruto and I exchanged another look between us, and while he seemed considerably relieved, I couldn't find myself at ease.

I brought the mug of coffee to my lips and took another hesitant sip. "Minato, you're not going to tell my parents about this, are you?" I inquired, lowering the mug.

The older man eyed me with his eyes narrowed in thought. "I don't want Naruto to be in trouble, and I don't think that it's my job to tell them something as serious as this," he said, carefully. "This isn't just about your relationship with my son, it's also about who you are and what you want as an individual." He gave me a strained smile. "I know how much Naruto went through to find himself, he was so scared of telling us how he felt. It _was_ shocking for Kushina and me, I'll admit. It was hard for us, accepting that our child was sexually more _developed_ than other people."

"Yeah, I remember," I muttered, recalling Naruto's constant anxiety and how everything at the time seemed to be around my parents trying to understand the situation and helping Kushina and Minato to understand it as well. "My dad wasn't very impressed, though."

Especially because Naruto had never been particularly shy about sex and thus had initiated his sex life rather early. Or at least early compared to me and other teenagers.

Minato's smile became more genuine. "They're still your parents, Sasuke, and they love you no matter what," he said. "You have already carved your path your own way so many times, it's not like this will be any different. They deserve to know, especially if you two are being serious about this."

"I know," I said, nodding in understanding. "I just need time to prepare, that's all."

Well, obviously, it wasn't all. My issues were far from being solved, and quite frankly, coming out to my parents was the least of my worries – but a worry, nonetheless.

I knew by then that my feelings for Naruto had already transcended to more than mere friendship, no doubt about it. In another situation, I would've told my parents already and made life easier for the both of us. The question was, was I ready to give myself completely to that relationship already, as if it was meant to last forever?

Because, even though my feelings for Naruto were growing stronger, a part of me just kept wondering about that something else I hadn't figured out yet. It was all very confusing inside of me, and yet, at the same time…

I didn't want to lose Naruto; I knew that well. But my mind was a mess, and taking unnecessary steps wouldn't be wise.

Still, I knew I had to get shit straight as soon as possible.

000

"Well, personally, I think that went better than I had imagined," Naruto said in a relaxed demeanor as we made our way back to school.

I lit myself a cigarette and shoved the lighter inside my pocket, taking a long drag before passing it to Naruto and expelling the smoke. "I guess. If _my_ dad had found us, things would've definitely ended up differently."

"I suppose," Naruto agreed, taking a thoughtful puff on the cigarette. I felt him looking at me sideways, a small pout present in his mouth, and it didn't take long for me to understand that he had something to say.

"What is it?" I asked, grabbing for the cigarette he extended to me and taking another long drag.

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know. You were going to say something to me before my dad knocked. About that person that you're in love with?"

I expelled the smoke slowly and looked away from him, sidestepping an old lady that was standing in my way.

"Do you want to talk about it _now_?" I inquired, as soon as I managed to reach his side again.

"Well, yeah, of course," Naruto said, as if it were obvious. "From the look on your face it looked serious, so I want to know what's upsetting you."

I hesitated for a while, contemplating my choices. On one hand, I could just say that there wasn't time for that at the moment and hope that Naruto would forget about it, but on the other hand, I had truly meant to talk to him about what was happening in the first place. He deserved to know, and it was the least I could do for him, and for us. He had asked me to be honest, so I should do that as much as I possibly could.

"Alright, let's just stop somewhere so we can talk properly, okay?"

Naruto made an agreeing sound with the back of his throat.

We walked in silence for a while, sharing the cigarette between us until we found a relatively calm alley. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms over my chest while Naruto shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jacket.

"So," he said, looking at me seriously. "What did you want to tell me?"

I ran my eyes over his attentive features and thought carefully about how to phrase what I wanted.

"I wanted to tell you that the person is man," I started, cautiously.

Naruto all but blinked at me, processing the words. "A man?" He repeated, as if to confirm my statement.

"Yeah, in every sense of the word."

He closed his mouth, eyebrows quirked upwards a he stared at me unblinkingly. "So, he's a man and an adult," he concluded, as if it explained many things. "Why didn't you tell me when we got together?"

"I don't know," I replied, with an awkward shift of my feet. "I guess I didn't want you to assume things about me or my sexuality, and I didn't want it to be something that put even more pressure on you." I hesitated, before adding "You're still the first guy I've ever been with."

Naruto simply eyed me, clearly unsure of what to say. "Why did you feel the need to tell me this _now_?"

"Because I think you deserve to know things and I feel like I don't want to keep secrets from you."

"Secrets?" Naruto's eyebrows rose again, making a sudden feel of nervousness assault me. "You've been keeping _secrets_ from me?"

"No, I..."

His stare was intense, and I could tell that he was guessing that nothing particularly good might come out of that conversation. "Just tell me what happened, Sasuke."

In spite of myself, I hesitated. "I found out that the person might have..." I looked away from him, choosing my words carefully. "... _feelings_ for me, as well."

For a few seconds, he just stared at me. "Oh."

I didn't know what else to say. In fact, I was seriously regretting not having properly prepared myself for that conversation beforehand.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Naruto said, to my surprise, after a few silent seconds.

I bit my lower lip and tensed up. "Nothing," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Again, Naruto didn't say anything for a while. Then, he asked "Why not?"

I turned my head to him so fast my neck made a cracking noise. "Excuse me?"

"Don't get me wrong, this feels like a punch to the gut to me," Naruto replied, with a frown, scratching the back of his neck in a clearly annoyed manner. "If he's a legal adult I get it's complicated for you. Plus, I don't want to lose you. What we have is something I've been wanting for a long time and I feel like I'm starting to like you a lot..."

"I'm dating you," I interrupted firmly. "I'm not interested in flings with anybody else."

His frown deepened and he let his hand fall. "How can you say that when our relationship started because of your feelings for that guy?" He accused, pointedly. "Those feelings don't just die in a few months, Sasuke."

"So? I'm fine with how things are right now, and I told you that there was no way there could ever happen anything between him and me."

"Well, apparently, it can if you felt the need to let me know he has an interest in you," Naruto countered, looking almost affronted at my attitude.

"It _can't_ ," I contradicted, stubbornly.

" _Why_ not if he has feelings for you?" He pressed on. "Is it so complicated just because you're underage? You're almost eighteen, plus you don't look that young anyway."

I felt my breath catch in my throat at the question, because a part of me desperately wanted to tell him but was scared to. But I couldn't.

"Stop asking why," I snapped through clenched teeth, not at all pleased by the path the conversation was taking.

To my surprise, my boyfriend had the audacity of rolling his eyes at me. "See, you're still keeping secrets from me!" He yelled, accusingly.

"Yeah, because there are things I just _can't_ tell you!" I yelled back, feeling defensive.

With his mouth hanging open, he glared at me as if my reaction wasn't comprehensible to him.

Then, the expression in his eyes changed and he looked sad. "Sasuke, you love him, don't you?" He asked, his voice lowering to become a soft murmur.

In spite of myself, I felt my heart sink. "It's not like that," I said.

"Stop lying when your feelings for him have brought you so much pain," he interrupted, firmly. "This is the chance you've been waiting for. I think you should definitely talk to him so both of you can sort things out."

I don't think I've ever been this shocked in my entire life. I mean, I knew how Naruto's brain worked, and that he was the kind of selfless person who would say something like that, but…

At that moment, I realized that, deep inside of me, I wanted him to just say ' _no_ '. I wanted to be important to him to the point where he wouldn't want to lose me to someone else. The thought was baffling to me, but at the same time, I had begun to understand that my attachment to him was becoming stronger with each passing day, so I expected the same from him. I thought I had become that, to him. To even think that it might not be the case made me feel like my whole world was shattering.

Had all the things he said to me, about us, been nothing but words?

"Would you even listen to yourself?" I hissed, anger filling me all of a sudden. "How can you tell me to do something like that? How can you just be okay with it?"

This seemed to trigger something inside Naruto because his eyes became suddenly bright, wild. Just like what had happened on that same morning, I saw those eyes come to life, and before I could blink, he moved and his hands slammed against the wall behind me on each side of my head and he was all over me, mouth crashing over mine ferociously. It was a demanding and not at all gentle kiss, but the intensity, in spite of being painful, made my heart flutter in both hope and unease. My mouth hurt from the bruises we had inflicted each other while fighting, but I didn't stop him at all.

A bit overwhelmed by the abruptness and all the feelings I could feel him trying to convey, but a bit relieved all the same, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close so our bodies were pressed together, willingly parting my lips to receive the desperate kiss, and when our tongues met I, too, poured all my insecurities into it.

It felt like hours had gone by before we parted, Naruto panting and pressing a tired forehead against mine.

"I'm _not_ okay with it, alright?" He muttered, after a few seconds of silence during which we had both tried to steady our breaths. "I fucking hate it and I'm scared that you'll choose him over of me." Leaning away, he locked eyes with me, looking pained. "My heart will be broken in a million pieces, Sasuke. But, no matter what you say, you love him, and I don't want to be with you if you're just going to wonder about how it could've been with him. I don't want you to be miserable. I want you to choose _me_ , willingly and without regrets."

I opened my mouth to argue, to tell him that, no matter what, my choice was made, but again, Naruto seemed to know me better than anyone else, so he covered my mouth with a hand to stop me. "You know sorting yourself out is something you _have_ to do," he said, gently. "For both our sakes."

I pushed his hand away, but our faces were still intimately close. "So, you're breaking up with me?" I asked, my voice nothing but a whisper.

Naruto's gaze ran over my features, as if he was trying to find something there. "Do you want me to?"

"No," My voice was coming out surprisingly hoarse.

Why the hell would he even ask something like that? I knew I was complicated and that our relationship could be considered fucked up in many ways because my head wasn't in the right place, but by then, I thought I had already proved to him how serious I was about him – about us.

I think that I panicked a bit, too. It was as if I had never considered that Naruto might actually be leaving me at some point because of my issues, but now that the possibility was presented to me, I didn't know how to deal with it. Somehow, thinking of Naruto leaving me felt like losing the ground under my feet.

It was as if, because of my own fear, I had realized just how much I actually needed him and had come to cherish his presence. Being without him as a lover was suddenly a scary, unconceivable thought. Not having that grounding force was terrifying.

"Fuck, Naruto, you can't possibly not know by now how much I value our relationship, and you. You mean everything to me, I..." I trailed off, feeling anxious and squeezing his hand in mine. "I don't want to lose you, either."

To my surprise, Naruto actually released a small, gentle chuckle that made my heart flutter. "You have to make a choice. That's just it. You either want to stay with me or you want to break up."

"Don't break up with me." I knew I was sounding pleading and feeling livid, but for once, I didn't even think about keeping my pride intact. "I don't want it."

All but laughing a bit again, Naruto pressed a kiss to my forehead, the action feeling relieved on his part, but also meant to reassure me. Then, he tugged his hand away from my grasp and hugged me by the neck with one arm, using the other one to pull me close by the waist.

As his chin rested on my shoulder, I closed my eyes and hugged him back, tightly crushing him against me. There were a million feelings inside me I had no idea how to deal with, and while I understood some of them, others were just new and unexpected to me.

In a way, it hurt that Naruto knew me so well and had to be so supportive of my happiness regardless of the outcome, but it also showed how much he actually cared about me more than about what he wanted for himself, and while this was comforting, it also made me feel like absolute shit.

Because I didn't want to be without him. But I also didn't want to miss out on the chance of seeing exactly what was going on between Itachi and me, even if, deep down, I was scared.

Burying my face in the curve of Naruto's neck and inhaling the familiar scent I had learned to love, I wished that my heart didn't give me so much shit so I could disregard my issues and choose him already. It would be so much easier.

It was difficult, though, when a part of me so desperately wanted a chance to know for sure how Itachi and I felt about each other apart from our relationship as brothers.

But Naruto was right, and running away from things wouldn't help. How could I ever be completely honest with him and faithful to my feelings for him if, in the end, I still had unresolved feelings for my brother? Regardless of how I wished things were, it was useless ignoring that huge issue, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I knew that, in a way, I was being hypocritical, and it upset me that Naruto could see right through me. But, I also felt thankful that I wasn't alone in this and that I had his support. I knew that, if it wasn't him there for me, no one else would take this kind of shit.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, against his skin. "I'm so sorry, Naruto. Please don't break up with me."

"Stop being so desperate, it doesn't suit you," he said, with a sigh. "I'm not breaking up with you, silly; I'm just telling you to do what you have to do in order to sort out your feelings. We'll stay together if it's what you want. This situation doesn't please me, but know that I'm fighting for you. I'll show you that I'm better for you. I'll do whatever it takes."

A pleasurable warmth filled me all over at his words. I never thought about how important his reassurance was to me until that moment. "Thank you," I muttered, planting a small kiss to his neck. "I really like you."

I felt Naruto tense in my arms for a few seconds before gradually relaxing again. I closed my eyes. I knew what he was feeling, and I knew that, no matter what I said to him, he would always feel hesitant about whether to accept my feelings or not. I knew he wanted to – and surely, he understood me well enough to know I was being honest – but it still wasn't the end of it.

What good is it to tell someone you like them when you're so obviously in love with someone else? Yet, I still wanted to make sure he knew my feelings for him weren't a lie.

Naruto pulled away from me slightly so we could look at each other again. There was a demanding look in his blue eyes. "Tell me when something happens, okay?"

"Don't you mean, _if_ something happens?" I countered, because there was no telling what was going to happen, when, or even _if_ it was ever going to happen. For all I knew, I could've misunderstood Itachi's words.

"Sasuke," Naruto smiled at me then. On his face, an expression that was both condescending and a bit sad appeared. "Don't underestimate your feelings, or his. If he feels the same way about you then it's obvious that something will happen at some point." He moved his arm from around my neck so his hand was cupping my cheek, thumb brushing over it slightly. "Just, please, don't keep things from me anymore."

With a sigh, I could only nuzzle my cheek on his palm and nod. "I promise."

_Naruto's POV_

Silence settled as I finished telling my friends about my relationship with Sasuke. A few days later, after school, we were all standing in front of the show window of my shop, considering it was rather crowded inside because of the upcoming Winter Holidays – not to mention that my mom and Sai were there as well – thus, not really safe.

Sasuke still hadn't arrived from his get together with his own friends, and I wondered how things were going on his side.

Kiba was standing on my left, hands shoved inside the pockets of his pants, looking down at the ground as if embarrassed at the fact that he had kept the secret from the guys for so long. I knew he was still rather pissed off about the gods knew what, so we hadn't had the chance to talk properly after the scene in the dressing room.

If you wonder why I still decided that it was a good idea to tell mine and Sasuke's friends about our relationship even after our conversation, I suppose I already thought of it as myself already being the winner of that absurd competition.

I think a part of me thought that, no matter how much Sasuke obviously liked this guy, whatever complications Sasuke had in his head would eventually force him to turn to me in the end.

I understood Sasuke's feelings for me. In him, I saw his genuine want of me, and how much he treasured what we had. Still, while I saw no doubt in his eyes, I saw that slight restlessness of someone who still wanted to see the other side. It was painful for me, no doubt about it, but I couldn't just stop him, could I? I'd rather he had my support and did whatever he had to do to figure himself out once and for all, than doing things behind my back and making a fool out of me. After all, I had gotten myself in that mess willingly.

I was actually glad that he had been honest with me.

More than ever, I was very curious to find out who was the guy Sasuke was in love with. If he was an adult, how much older was he? Was he someone I knew? Did he even live close by? I had never noticed Sasuke's behavior change, so I thought not.

I guess I should be happy enough with the information Sasuke provided because that only proved that he was someone that, in spite of everything, could be trusted.

I bit my lip, looking from Shino to Chouji (who both looked only mildly surprised), then to Shikamaru – the only one who looked thoroughly bored.

"Well," Shikamaru said, with a nonchalant sigh. "If you guys are doing okay, then I don't care."

"Me neither," Chouji reinforced with an energetic nod of his head. "I just wish you could've told us before. I mean, _Kiba_ knew."

"Yeah, it's not like we would've made fun of you or anything," Shino agreed from my other side, pushing his sunglasses up on his nose. "Although, if we hadn't seen that fierce display of animalistic frotting during P.E. we probably wouldn't have believed you."

I felt my cheeks catch fire from embarrassment. "It wasn't _frotting_ , we really were beating each other up, you know?" I retorted, elbowing his side roughly, which only earned me a devious, knowing smirk from him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Shikamaru mumbled, rolling his eyes. "Next time, try to keep your displays of horniness to yourselves, though."

I couldn't help but laugh loudly at that, relief washing over me at how easily they took the news. During times like these, I was really thankful for my friends and for how easy it was for them to accept me and my choices without trying to meddle in. They would've probably given me their two cents about my relationship with Sasuke, but too much time had passed during which the two of us had become steady enough, and I know they deemed this surprising, but serious enough to keep themselves from butting in.

Still, they teased me for a bit and swore they'd give Sasuke a hard time, too, until my mom – noticing me slacking off – opened the shop door and yelled at me to get to work.

The guys took it as their cue to leave, but Kiba lingered behind, telling them to go ahead. I looked at him inquisitively.

"Kushina-san, can I have a word with Naruto?" He asked with an almost way too nice smile – a contrast to his previous sour mood.

My mom frowned at him suspiciously but ended up stepping aside so we could both get inside the busy shop. "Make it quick! You guys always hold him up far too much and he always slacks off!" She hissed.

"I do not!" I protested, with a pout.

"Just use the warehouse, I don't want you in the middle of the shop disturbing our customers' browsing," she said, immediately manhandling us towards the warehouse. "And hurry the hell up, we're really busy today!"

000

After having quickly removed my jacket and changed from my school uniform to normal jeans and our shop's standard bright orange sweater, I leaned back against a small expanse of free wall of our small warehouse. The place was mostly filled with shelves occupied with cardboard boxes that contained our stocks of manga and other merchandising we sold.

Vaguely, I was reminisced of the many times Sasuke and I had made out (and done other things as well) against that same wall, but quickly pushed the thought away because having those kinds of visual images in front of my best friend was not a clever idea.

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying not to sigh. I was in no mood for deep conversations, to be honest, because many things had been happening lately; from Sasuke and I having beaten each other up, to the evolution of our sex life, to that revelation that he was in love with another dude – who, it seemed, was in love with him as well – and, finally, to the decision of us still telling our friends about us.

Things had been weird between Kiba and me for a few days now, and truth be told, I had been too busy with my own emotional issues to really try and fix things between us or to try and understand what was on his mind, but I owed him that.

I was particularly exhausted that day and still had to work at the store when all I wanted to do was go home and sleep it all off.

I didn't realize how much my relationship with Sasuke had taken its emotional toll on me until I had spoken about it to the guys.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked Kiba, my voice coming out more tired than I had expected.

Kiba chewed on his lower lip, hands inside his pockets and a distressed expression on his features that made me know he was bursting to say something.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you for a while now, but haven't because I was scared it might freak you out," he admitted. "But it's killing me, and I don't think I can be normal friends with you if I keep thinking about this."

By his tone, I could tell that this had something to do with Sasuke and our 'unhealthy relationship', because, really, this was the only thing that had ever shaken mine and Kiba's relationship so far, and the only thing that made it weird nowadays.

"Well, spit it out," I encouraged, bracing myself for what was to come.

Kiba took a deep breath, a resolute look in his eyes. "If you wanted to try out something new with someone, why didn't you talk to _me_ first?"

I merely looked at him, not really sure I had heard him correctly. "What?"

"I mean, you wanted to try something different as far as relationships went, right?" Kiba pressed on, tensely. "You could've asked _me_ instead of going to Uchiha; I'm your best friend. _Why_ didn't you?"

My chin fell as shock took over me. " _You_?!" I blurted out, my eyes widening. "Kiba, you're as straight as a fucking arrow!"

"So is Uchiha," Kiba countered, almost making me cringe. "That didn't stop you from approaching him, right?"

I chose not to comment on that – after all, Sasuke's situation was a secret, and no matter what I knew about him now, there were things I thought not even my best friend should know, and Sasuke's apparent not complete heterosexuality even from before we started dating was one of them.

I bit on my lower lip and looked away from Kiba, unsure of what to say or think, because never in my mind had I considered that he might've felt offended at my lack of suggestion that he have a relationship with me. Sure, we were pretty close, but we had never had any kind of sexual chemistry, had never kissed (not even as joke) and we had always watched the other hook up with people without really thinking about hooking up with each other.

Well, if I had to be honest with myself, I had thought about it a few times, especially when I felt the most vulnerable after a breakup. I had thought about how, instead of just offering me words of comfort and a pat on the shoulder, Kiba could also offer other kinds of comfort, but these thoughts always occurred when I was either drunk or horny, and I always had an easy time getting involved with people. It was just fleeting moments of need, not any kind of sexual attraction, or romantic interest. Still, Kiba was my best friend, and straight, and in my mind, I had always been too scared to even joke about something like that because it could ruin our relationship, even if he had always been by my side and supportive of my sexuality.

While I knew far too well how to fool around and not make a big deal out of it; that was just me. How was I to know that Kiba wouldn't freak out, even if he could, hypothetically, give in at first because of alcohol or something of the sort? Also, I cherished him far too much to use him to fool around without having other feelings for him, so I always drew that line.

This being said, never in my life did I consider Kiba as possible boyfriend material.

"You're straight," I repeated slowly, looking down at the dusty floor. "And my best friend. Besides, you always acted as if being with another guy disgusted you."

I could see Kiba's feet shifting nervously. "I didn't really mean it like that," he said, sounding guilty. "I'm not disgusted by two guys together, you know that. I always respected you and supported you no matter what."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I would have to automatically think that you'd be okay with me asking you to start an intimate relationship with me," I said. I looked up at him, noticing that he was the one not looking at me now, his eyes trained on a shelf in a far corner, still looking upset and… angry? "Are you jealous that I asked Sasuke and not you?"

His eyes widened for the fraction of a second before he looked back at me, pink painting his cheeks.

"No!" he denied defensively, but then seemed to regret the choice of words and quickly corrected himself. "Yes! I mean, I know I never really showed interest in being with another guy, but if I had known that you were that tired of being alone and really wanted to be with someone for real… if you had..."

He stopped himself, eyes unblinking as he looked at me, something akin to a mixture of desperation and hesitation splattered all over his features.

" _What_ , Kiba?" I pressed on impatiently, because his obvious distress was making me feel strangely anxious. I wasn't used to him behaving like this at all.

"If you had talked to me about it I would've accepted!" he blurted out. "I want to be there for you no matter what! I would've tried, for you, because it's _you_!"

If I have to be very honest, I wasn't expecting him to say something like that. Sure, I already knew that he held resentment for me not having gone to him first out of some male pride because we were besties and all that, but this?

I almost expected him to say he was joking, but he remained serious, his posture rigid and his eyes glued to mine, waiting for my reaction. I thought about asking if he was serious, but I didn't want to offend him, and he looked pretty on edge as it was. Even I was on edge at this point, shock alone making me think rationally enough.

"And what if things didn't work out?" I questioned, disbelievingly. "You don't know what it's like, Kiba. Being in a romantic relationship with a close friend and then breaking up never ends well. Look at what happened with Sakura-chan!" His face hardened for some reason and I forced my voice to soften before adding "I never wanted that to happen to you and me."

He pressed his lips together and when he inhaled deeply from his nose, the noise sounded like a metaphorical yell of frustration. I couldn't really understand where this was all coming from, but I felt the need to explain myself to him anyway because, if he had felt offended, then I owed him that.

"Sasuke was a close friend, but I knew he'd be cool headed enough not to let things change if it didn't work for us," I proceeded. "Because he liked someone else, it was fine. Because, I knew it wouldn't affect either of us because we were close but not _that_ close."

Kiba's face changed completely then, as he released an ironic chuckle.

"Naruto," he started, slowly. "This is what you don't understand; I'm not Sasuke, nor Haku, and I'm definitely not Sakura. I'm not in love with someone else like they are."

This made me freeze in my spot. I uncrossed my arms and clenched my fists at my sides.

"Was that supposed to be an indirect hit at me?" I inquired, keeping my voice calm but my tone affected. "I don't know why you're saying this, but that's just a low blow."

"It's not supposed to be insulting, it's just the truth," Kiba said, the bitter smile leaving his mouth at once as he took a step towards me, brown eyes expressive and intense. "I can't stand it how you always end up being second best for someone else. You don't deserve it. You deserve better; _more_."

His words were truthful, which was why hearing them hurt, yet I understood what he was telling me all the same.

"So you keep saying," I hissed, "But you know nothing about relationships, Kiba. You don't know what it's like to like someone to the point where you disregard everything else because you just want them to be happy; to make them happy, never losing hope of becoming number one. It was just tough luck that I wasn't lucky."

Kiba took yet another step towards me. "And you think you'll be lucky with Uchiha?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, lifting my chin up defiantly. "Yeah, I do."

I could almost swear my friend's eyes darkened as they narrowed, if in fury or something else, I genuinely couldn't tell.

"Better than what you'd be with _me_?" He pressed on.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Apart from my family, you're the most important person in the world to me," Kiba said, voice firm and unhesitating, and there was something behind it that brought a chill down my spine. " _I_ would be the one to make sure I disregarded everything else this time. I'd do it _for you_. And I know you, I know you're a great guy and that you'd make sure everything went as it was supposed to. You do that with Sasuke, wouldn't you do it with me? Your best friend? Someone you know will always be by your side no matter what, as I've been doing all along?"

For a brief moment, I simply stared at him, blinking stupidly and feeling as though I was missing something terribly important. I didn't know what – or maybe I just didn't want to delve into the possibilities too much – but it made me feel uneasy. I was beginning to feel slightly guilty, but I pushed the emotion away. In spite of everything, I didn't regret having chosen Sasuke, and while it made me feel self-conscious that my best friend took offense in it, what was done was done.

Still, Kiba just kept his eyes locked on mine and, for the first time ever, I felt strangely trapped in his presence. "That's not how things work, you don't just…" I heaved a long sigh, scratching my head uncomfortably. "Kiba you've never even kissed a guy. You've never even thought about it, least of all with me."

Kiba contemplated me. "That shows how much you know about me," he said, almost condescendingly.

"No, that shows how much you've been hiding from me, apparently!" I grunted, rolling my eyes before huffing impatiently. "So, why are we having this conversation _now_? Because you wanted me to have chosen you instead of Sasuke?"

"Yeah," Kiba admitted, with an almost nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "That's right."

I gaped, completely unprepared for the blatant honesty. "Kiba, I… when Sasuke and I kissed back then there was a bit of chemistry there. It wasn't a big deal, but it _was_ there. That's the only reason why I even considered talking to him about it, and it was so obvious that it even made Sasuke himself think about it." I felt exhausted and unsure of where this was supposed to be headed. "It is what it is. You are my friend, and I didn't want to compromise our relationship. I didn't even think you'd ever want something like that, and even if you did, what if there was no spark or just…"

All of a sudden, I couldn't speak anymore as I was roughly pushed back against the wall and a heavy weight pressed itself against me. Stunned, it took me a few seconds to really process what was happening and concluded that Kiba had actually smashed his mouth against mine and was currently kissing me.

My heart skyrocketed then, simultaneous fear and blinding confusion incapacitating me from thinking clearly. Kiba was relentlessly moving his lips over mine, demanding response with both his arms now around my waist to keep me from escaping.

I was shocked at many things – that he'd have the nerve to do something like this, that he was actually able to do it without being disgusted and that I could, indeed, feel his anxiety and eagerness in the action – and yet, all I could deduce was that he was somehow trying to make point.

The fact that I had once or twice imagined how something like this would feel between us was what prompted me to automatically indulge him. That, and the fact that I was pretty fed up with that useless conversation, so if this was going to be the end of it, so be it.

Exhaling heavily from my nose, I parted my lips to receive the kiss and wound my arms around his shoulders. Kiba kissed like a hungry animal, wild and ferocious. He didn't have Sasuke's capable undertone of seductive experience, but his intensity sure matched the one of my boyfriend's, and while he was a little too eager, I have to give it to him that he wasn't a bad kisser – in fact, his dynamics were a bit like mine, so it flowed easily enough without that initial experimental bit I had shared with Sasuke.

It was very strange to me, though. As he pressed himself more against me and our tongues touched, over and over again, instead of losing focus, my mind seemed to become clearer. My hands moved upwards, one to touch the nape of his neck, the other one to close around the hairs at the back of his head with force, causing Kiba to moan and deepen the kiss.

To me, it was easy to be intimate with another person – even more so if that person was close to me on some level – but emotionally, the kiss didn't particularly shake me the way I always thought it would, considering how much he meant to me. Yes, Kiba was my best friend and I loved him. Yes, it would've probably been very easy to fool around with him and even date him. Yes, maybe, just maybe, things could've developed faster than they had with Sasuke. Maybe we would've had real sex long ago.

But in that moment, maybe because we'd been fighting, there was no thrill in it for me, no slow building tension, and no sudden attraction. Every single thing I had gone through with Sasuke up until that day had felt far more meaningful and intimate. That kiss felt nice, sure, like all good kisses did, but that was about it. In a way, it eased my mind and calmed me down enough in spite of the fervor I could feel coming from Kiba.

We kissed for a while before I lowered my arms to press my hands to his chest and push him slightly away. He resisted a bit, unwilling to allow our mouths to part, but as I applied a bit more pressure, he leaned away, our lips making a soft suckling noise.

"That's enough, don't you think?" I breathed, my voice low and calm. He swallowed hard, face still close to mine, his arms apparently reluctant to let go of my waist.

"You're just going on and on and making excuses," Kiba muttered, panting a bit while his brown eyes scanned my features attentively as if he was desperately trying to find something there. "I accept that it's my fault, because I never hinted that I could ever be interested in something like that, but I still wanted to prove you wrong. I want you to understand."

"Understand what?" I replied. His hands clutched at my sweater at the end of my spine.

"I was _never_ disgusted by you," he admitted, leaning even further away to properly look at me. He looked flushed and upset and it made my heart feel unpleasantly heavy. "I don't think I'm gay or anything like that, but I… I always wanted to be closer to you, but I didn't think you'd find me attractive enough for stuff like this, so I never…"

Kiba trailed off, and I merely eyed him, biting down on my lower lip. To say that I was embarrassed now was an understatement. I understood what was being said to me, yet I didn't. I had no idea that he had thought about that kind of stuff with me, least of all actually wanting it, somehow.

I had never imagined that he'd ever be interested in being intimate with a guy, even if that guy was me. I looked at his expression attentively, noticing how he was frowning and looking a bit lost.

Kiba was, indeed, an attractive guy, even if he liked to dress like a rebellious punk and looked like someone who didn't even try to comb his hair in the morning. Of course, in the past, if he had approached me about something like this, I wouldn't have said 'no' so hungry had I been for affection and companionship back then.

After all, I had been the one to think that I was in no way suitable for his tastes.

I reached out and ran my fingers through his fringe gently, an action chosen to let him know I wouldn't create distance between us.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, in a whisper that sounded far too hopeful.

"That you should've told me about this a long time ago," I replied, leaning my head back against the wall and smiling weakly at him. "If I had known you'd be okay with this kind of stuff I assure you that I would've preferred staying at home and fooling around with you than hooking up with strangers."

Kiba made a disgruntled face. "You're completely missing the point, here."

"You should be more specific, then," I offered.

"Would anything I say make you leave Uchiha and be with _me_ instead?" he questioned, not missing a beat, and I actually laughed at that.

"Kiba, you can't be serious!" I pushed him away a bit more, the fact that he was pressing the issue giving me the need to draw some sort of line. "I'm in a _relationship_ with him. Maybe things could've been different for you and me after all but it's not how it went. I'm sorry, but I can't change it now. I really don't want to."

To my relief, Kiba released me, his fingers loosening their grip on my sweater, leisurely, before taking a step away from me, almost as if in slow motion, until we were touching no more. The distance diminished the pressure in my lungs, and I felt like I could breathe properly again, but the air was dense, and the mood was still weird.

"You're in love with him already, aren't you?" My friend then asked, crossing his arms over his chest. His facial expression changed from one of open loss to a closed, impassive one that almost made me shudder. I shoved my hands inside the pockets of my jeans, my shoulders tensing up.

The gods help me, why was he being so fucking difficult? I used to tell him everything, and sure, maybe things had been a little more reserved between us recently, but there were things I didn't really feel like talking about. This felt like some sort of _déjà vu_ , but while before I felt at ease to tell him about my feelings for Sasuke, it didn't seem okay just then, for some reason. The kiss hadn't affected me, but there was no doubt that we were having a rare dysfunctional moment just then, and I was pretty tired of it.

"I might be," I muttered, hoping that this would put an end to that awkward scene. "I really like him but… I don't want to talk about it, Kiba."

I could almost swear that a flash of hurt crossed his eyes, but it was gone before I could be sure. I chewed on my lower lip again, harder this time.

Silence settled between us, and it was probably the single most awkward moment we have ever shared in our history as friends. I could feel the restlessness coming from him – that anxious energy he emanated that felt like he had more to say but was stopping himself from saying it – while I simply felt like something was definitely wrong and that I should try and understand what it was, and fast. I could tell I wasn't grasping something, but at the same time I didn't feel like complicating things too much anymore.

Eventually, Kiba heaved a long, defeated sigh and ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it even more than it already was. "Whatever, man," he said, suddenly looking strangely more mature in his seriousness. "If that's how you feel, then fine, I get it. I guess I just wanted you to know my thoughts on it."

"I'm glad you told me," I replied, even though, deep inside, I wished I didn't have to become aware of something like that at this stage. "Maybe some other time?"

In spite of how my words clearly hit him the wrong way, Kiba forced the corner of his mouth to quirk upwards without feeling. "Yeah," he agreed, his voice soft. "Just know that, if he ever does anything to hurt you, I'll have his fucking throat. I mean it."

"You don't have to get in between us," I assured him, with a small reproachful pout. "I don't need you to stand up for me, Kiba."

At this, his smile grew just a tiny bit. "Trust me, I know."

And even though the conversation was definitely over with that, I couldn't help but feel uneasy about the impression that I had done or said something terribly hurtful to him.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment! ;)


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was betaed by the lovely and adorable talented fangirlandiknowit! Much love to you!
> 
> WARNINGS: ITACHI/SASUKE. Not explicit yet, but be warned, the tension will be high. Also, underage smoking of illegal substances, but barely there. You guys must not forget that Naruto is rebellious, and this should not come as a surprise to you since it's mentioned somewhere at the beginning of the fic, so please don't bite my head off for it. I've been a teenager, too, and these things do happen with teenagers.
> 
> ENJOY!

  


**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Sasuke's POV_

I couldn't listen to them anymore. In fact, I tried as hard as I could to simply not pay attention to the stupidity coming out of Suigetsu's and Karin's mouths after I told them about my relationship with Naruto. Juugo, for his part, remained blissfully quiet, as usual.

The coffee shop was thankfully empty considering that a lot of people from our school used to frequent it, but even though the four of us were sitting in a rather secluded corner, my other two friends were being far too loud.

"Fucking hell, I can't believe I dated a gay guy!" Karin, who was sitting beside me was saying dramatically as I simply slurped my coke through its colorful straw.

"He's not fucking gay, Karin, he's like, bi-curious or something. Anyway, a hole is a hole when it comes to sex, who cares," came Suigetsu's rather crude and unwelcomed input from across from me. I merely raised an eyebrow at him.

Beside him, Juugo sighed. "Do you have to put it that way?" He asked, a hint of annoyance filling his voice.

"He's still dating another guy!" Karin yelled, making me cringe in irritation. She turned to me, grabbing my sleeve and shaking it emphatically. "Oh, my God, Sasuke, I can't believe you're dating my fucking loser of a cousin of all people! Seriously?!"

"Naruto's way hotter than you; plus, he's popular," Suigetsu said, teasingly.

Karin threw him a venomous glare. "He's _not_ hotter than me, you ass! He barely brushes his teeth in the morning, only showers once a week and wears the same shirt days on end!"

I could definitely object to that, since I knew far too well that all the common misconceptions of Naruto's habits because of him being 'rebellious' were completely untrue, but I couldn't be bothered to correct her since that would only incite her into talking more and making even more drama.

"Why are you making stuff up?" Suigetsu intervened, rolling his eyes. "Sasuke broke up with you ages ago, he's not going to fuck you anymore."

Turning to me again, Karin stuck her lower lip out to me. "Is Naruto that good in the sack? Is that why you're with him?"

" _Of course,_ he's good in the sack, everybody says so," Suigetsu interrupted before I could dismiss the question. Karin, however, ignored him.

"Please tell me you're the one topping, Sasuke!"

I was almost ready to get up and leave. I should've known that, in spite of how much I cherished my crazy, demented friends (and former girlfriend), they would just be imbeciles all over. I wondered if Naruto was getting the same amount of shit on his side or if things were better.

Maybe getting our friends together so we could both tell everybody about it would've been best. At least they'd all yap and rant at each other at some point and not really bother us with stupid questions.

"Nah, Sasuke's probably a switch," Suigetsu said, with a nasty grin, winking at me before making a genuinely curious expression. "Is taking it up the ass good? I've always been curious, you know. There's a lot of guys who like being fingered and all that and they're not even into dudes."

"Suigetsu!" Juugo reprimanded.

I felt my left eye twitch unavoidably. "Can we, _please_ , drop this conversation?"

"Please tell me you're the one who tops!" Karin pleaded once more.

"Look, I didn't tell you guys so you could make a fucking scene, okay?" I snapped coolly, already more than tired of the incessant yammering. Juugo looked away, and Karin and Suigetsu were startled by my outburst, eyes wide. "Naruto and I are dating, and it's serious and you either accept it or you don't, _end of story_. I value your friendship and your views on the matter, but I'm not going to get into details at all because it doesn't concern any of you, so just fucking _drop it_."

I pressed my lips together, eyeing all of them firmly, waiting for a reaction. Juugo elbowed Suigetsu's side and the three of them exchanged slightly bewildered looks between them.

"Of course, we accept it," Suigetsu said a few seconds later, offering me a rather crooked smile that looked a bit apologetic as he rubbed the back of his neck with a hand. "We're just teasing you, Sasuke. We don't care what you do or with whom as long as you're happy, man. We've got your back."

"Yeah, I just…" Karin muttered, leaning back on her seat with an embarrassed shrug of her shoulders, and her hands between her thighs, looking at me from the corner of her eye. "I never thought that you'd date _Naruto_ , of all people, so that was a shock. But, he is a good guy, I know he is, and if you're happy with him, then I'm okay with it."

"It's good that you at least seem content with a relationship, for once," Juugo added in his calm, low voice, smiling as well. "I did notice something different about you lately, and it's kind of refreshing to see."

With a sigh, I nodded, relieved. In spite of myself, I felt my previous irritation fading away as guilt filled my chest.

I knew I could be a little harsh when people least expected it, and those three didn't deserve it. But everything had been a little stressful for me lately and every small thing affected me. Telling my friends about my relationship with Naruto was a huge step for me, and one that brought me closer to something very consistent with him. Oddly enough, even with everything happening with Itachi, this made me immensely happy.

In a weird way, it was all very new.

None of my previous relationships had ever felt like this. Everybody had known about all my girlfriends – friends, parents, and the school – but everything had felt empty and meaningless, and I didn't really care either way if people knew or not. With Naruto, each and every development was meaningful and felt like something very important to the both of us. Every step brought us closer together and bonded us in ways that I don't think I would ever be able to explain to others if I tried.

"Thank you," I replied, my voice calmer and grateful. "Your acceptance means a lot to me."

"Don't be all formal like that!" Karin retorted, slapping my arm awkwardly. "We're all friends! We're here to support you in spite of us making a big fuss of stuff, but you know how we are already, and you still love us, sooo…"

The other two nodded to agree with her statement and I felt a strange sort of warmth fill my chest.

"Yeah," I said, with a small smile.

It was true. Even if they were a pain in the ass, and even if nowadays I rarely ever had time for them outside of school, they were still there for me, arm open, welcoming and unchanging. Even Karin, whom I had dated, knew how to separate both things perfectly. Even if she still bugged me once in a while, she was my friend and never made things uncomfortable between us.

"We still want some juicy details, though! After all, if this is serious, it's a big deal to you!" Suigetsu teased with an excited jump in his seat. I couldn't help but laugh a bit, which made him gasp and point at me. "Whoa, Juugo's totally right, even your face looks different! Holy shit, you've got it bad, dude!"

"I'm a little freaked out," Karin said, making a face at me, and poking my side. "What the hell did my cousin do to you, huh? And why didn't we notice it before! And I'm still pissed that you didn't tell us sooner!"

I heaved a content sigh, allowing myself to relax a little.

I was really a lucky person, I thought.

000

_"I'm sorry I made mother cry,"_ Itachi apologized from the other side of the line, sounding genuinely upset.

"You have to apologize to _her_ , not me," I mumbled irritably, laying down on my back on my bed and looking up at the pristine white ceiling of my room. "She's really upset you're not coming home for Christmas."

_"You already knew I wouldn't,"_ Itachi said, with a sigh. _"There's no way I could even if I tried with how chaotic the shootings have been. The rest of the cast and crew are all giving up their time with their families and we're already short on schedule."_

"Whatever."

A few seconds of silence followed as I chewed on my lower lip impatiently.

_"So, what did she say about you coming to spend the holidays with me?"_ My brother asked, seemingly casual.

"She told me I should go," I replied, resting my forearm over my eyes. "She doesn't want you to be alone during Christmas."

Itachi hummed. _"Will she and father spend it with the Namikaze?"_

"Yeah, Kushina immediately invited them," I answered. "She's downstairs with mom as we speak."

_"Alright,"_ Itachi mumbled, carefully. _"And what do **you** want to do?"_

The hopeful tone he used annoyed me as my cheeks caught fire. Considering recent events, I was in such a chaotic state of mind that even talking to Itachi was hard for me, let alone seeing him. I knew that, the more time passed and the deeper my bond with Naruto became, the more complicated my feelings for my brother would be when I saw him again.

I didn't really know how I felt for him anymore – if it was the same as before or not, if it was stronger or if it had gotten weaker. I didn't know where the line between my feelings for him as a brother and everything else stood because we seemed very distant, yet constantly present. The lack of proximity and of actual face to face interaction was confusing me and I didn't understand myself anymore.

Naruto was very important to me and I knew I didn't want to lose him as a lover. But a part of me still clung to those unresolved feelings for Itachi, and not knowing what was, in fact, going on between us didn't help.

"I don't know, Itachi," I admitted, before swallowing down the lump in my throat. "I don't know what I want to do."

Itachi's voice softened. _"You used to always be so excited to be with me,"_ he said, in an oddly kind mutter. _"I still want to see you as much as I always did. Having you here would make me really happy, Sasuke."_

The words, so mildly spoken made my chest constrict and my heart beat faster. Itachi was always so secure of himself that having him sounding so stupidly humble made me feel awkward. I didn't like him acting as if I intimidated him, but I guess it went both ways since he did intimidate me, as well.

It was a weird thought, though, that my perfect, untouchable brother could feel intimidated by anything at all. It provided me with a feeling of both power and fear. I hated that I felt so shamelessly curious.

Having Naruto's blessing made it all the more painful to bear and all the more appealing to unravel.

"And then what?" I asked weakly, lowering my arm and looking at the ceiling again without really seeing it. "What's going to happen, then?"

For a few seconds, Itachi seemed to consider his answer, and patiently, I waited.

_"I told you that we need time together,"_ he ended up saying, keeping his tone gentle, but firm. _"I know you have demons; we both do. But we can't run away from them forever, otherwise our relationship will be destroyed. I can't have that. I won't, and surely, you don't want that, either."_

There he was, subtly walking around the subject but going straight to the point. It angered me, but who was I to talk when I would only allow my straightforwardness to go so far?

I closed my eyes to stop the tears of frustration from emerging. "Of course, I don't want it!" I hissed. "But, aren't you scared? Doesn't it scare you, being alone with me?"

_"I love you more than anything in the world, Sasuke,"_ Itachi replied easily, voice filled with a fondness I did not need to hear at the moment. _"It's losing you that scares me before anything else. The rest is manageable, one way or the other."_

I let out a groan, not caring if he heard it or not.

I didn't want to be with Itachi like that because I knew it was impossible. If I'd had a choice, I would've never have felt for him the way I did in the first place. All I wanted was for my feelings to go back to what they were before, when everything was simple, and I loved him for the wonderful big brother I had always looked up to.

That was all I genuinely longed for. That was all I had hoped to achieve when I had decided to date Naruto.

But Itachi had always said that I was his most precious person, and even though I dismissed it, deep down I knew and acknowledged it. For a long time, there had been no one as important to me as him.

That alone was already a lot to handle.

Then, Naruto happened, and another part of my world had been turned upside down. Of course, those two situations, and the feelings I had for both, could not be compared.

There was a chance there was, in fact, something mutual between Itachi and me, and I had a free pass to try and see it for myself. I didn't want to because I was scared of what I might find, of what might happen, but at the same time, _not_ finding it out for myself now that I had the chance would always make me wonder. And no matter what, I needed to let whatever had to happen unveil now rather than later.

Even if nothing could ever come out of it.

_"Sasuke, things can't go on like this,"_ Itachi whispered.

"I know," I conceded, rubbing my eyes, one with my thumb, and the other with my index finger. I sighed. "Fine, I'll go."

I could swear I heard Itachi heave a relieved sigh. _"Good,"_ he said calmly, but sounding genuinely happy. _"Tell me when you're ready to leave and I'll send Kisame to pick you up."_

"I'll need a few days; school's not over yet," I replied tiredly.

_"Alright, just give me a call when you're ready."_

"Okay."

I thought about hanging up because, honestly, just talking to him was emotionally draining, but at the same time, I didn't want to end up on a rude note when I'd be seeing him again soon.

I could hear Itachi breathing softly on the other side of the line, and I could almost sense his quiet expectancy through the phone.

I chewed on my lower lip, wondering if I was supposed to say something more or just...

_"I love you."_

... wait for whatever it was that he had to say that I'd rather not listen to at the moment.

In spite of my suddenly fast heartbeat, I muttered a small "I love you, too."

Saying it was not as complicated as I thought it would be, but then again, we'd always said it before, once in a while.

_"I'll see you soon, Sasuke."_

"Yeah, see ya."

I decided to hang up before any more unnecessary stuff was said to fuck up with my head. Dropping the phone on my stomach, I rubbed my face with both hands vigorously.

_What the fuck have I signed up for?_

"Shit…"

000

Was I eager to go and meet Itachi? I would be lying if I said no. In a way, it made me nervous because I didn't know what was going to happen, how things would turn out or how I was going to react to being alone with him. Also, I'd be getting to see the world of acting that so fascinated me, so yes, this was something very exciting for me.

But at the same time, I was having a hard time knowing I wouldn't be with Naruto. Us and the rest of our group had made a few plans for New Year's that sounded pretty good, but I couldn't be sure of whether I'd make it or not depending on how things went.

Naruto wasn't particularly happy about knowing that I wouldn't be around for the holidays, but he understood, of course, and was very supportive of me spending time with Itachi so he wouldn't be without family.

If only he knew. I felt like a terrible person, but telling him the truth was not an option at this point.

Would there ever be a time when this was an option? Maybe Naruto would never know.

We were both on the rooftop of the school's building and it was the last day before Winter Break. We were sitting close together on the ground with our backs against the door, side by side to keep warm even though we both had thick jackets to protect us from the cold.

The day was coming to an end, the sun setting above the buildings of the small town below. Thankfully, it wasn't raining. We were skipping the last class of the day just so we could spend some time alone together, and I was glad that we got to share a moment of peacefulness just talking and hanging out.

"You'll be leaving tomorrow?" Naruto asked casually, after taking a drag on an almost finished joint before passing it to me.

"Yeah, Kisame's picking me up in a limo in the morning," I replied, accepting the thing and taking a long puff. I allowed the smoke to stay in my lungs for a while before expelling it, enjoying the slight relaxing feeling it provided.

"Wow, that's fancy," Naruto joked, elbowing my side. "You'll be traveling in style, then."

"I suppose." I took another drag from the joint before passing it to him again. "I guess Itachi's climbing up the social ladder pretty quickly, huh?"

"Well, it's not like anyone would expect anything less from him," Naruto commented, taking the last drag before smashing the joint on the ground next to his thigh. He expelled the smoke slowly before leaning his head back against the door. "He's the kind of guy that you just know will succeed at whatever he decides to do. You should be proud of him."

"I am," I admitted, crossing my arms over my chest, a small smile tugging at my lips. Itachi was a role model to me, and even with everything happening between us, that would never change. I admired him beyond reason, even if that same admiration now was used as a fuel to reach my goals rather than trying to mimic him like I used to as a kid.

My smile faltered a bit as I became conscious of the heat beside me. I was thankful for it because I hated thinking about my brother when I was around Naruto. I let my head fall to the side, so it was resting on Naruto's shoulder, contentment filling me as I felt his cheek coming into contact with it.

"Hey, Naruto," I muttered quietly, snuggling more against his side.

"What," Naruto replied back softly, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

"He'll be there," I replied, quietly. "The guy. In Tokyo, I mean."

Naruto's shoulders tensed a bit but immediately relaxed. "Oh. Okay. So, you're going to talk to him?"

"I'm thinking about it," I admitted, carefully.

"Okay."

Naruto didn't say anything for a while, so I shifted a bit and continued. "Well, what I'm trying to say is that, considering everything, while I'm away, if you want to be with other people I will understand."

Naruto snorted, head turning towards me. I leaned away and looked at him.

"What are you talking about all of a sudden?" He asked, surprised. "Just because you're going to settle stuff with that guy it doesn't automatically mean that I want to get you back for it, Sasuke. I'm supporting this, remember?"

"Yeah." I felt frustrated at myself. It wasn't like telling Naruto to go be with other people was easy for me, but it was only fair since I would be with Itachi without knowing what would happen. "I don't know, I just feel like it's not fair to you. I'd be hypocritical in asking you to innocently wait for me."

Naruto merely blinked down at me, eyebrows quirked upwards as his blue eyes searched mine. "Would it be okay for you to know I'd be fooling around with other people while you're away?"

"No, of course not, idiot," I muttered, putting my hand on his arm. "But that's not the point. The point is, you have the right to be with other people if you want to, so we're on even ground, that's just it."

I frowned when Naruto chuckled, shaking his head from side to side. "I have no interest in being with other people, you ass. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"I know," I retorted, with a hesitant shrug. "I just don't feel like I should stop you from being with others, you know. I don't think anything's going to happen in Tokyo but at the same time, I don't know."

That was as honest as I could be with him all things considered.

The cold wind brushed our faces, and Naruto sighed.

"I would if I wanted to," he said, in his typical straightforward way, looking up at the sky. "I understand where you're coming from, but you're my boyfriend, and I have no interest in other people, okay? I appreciate the sentiment, but no."

I watched his profile, uncertain of whether this came as a relief or not. "Alright," I said simply.

"I just have one request," Naruto started, looking back at me with that odd seriousness that showed how much more mature he was than people thought. His cold hand was placed over mine. "No matter what happens, don't let him fuck you. You said you wanted your first time to be with me, so... save that for me, okay?"

"I never interacted with him intimately, we're definitely not having sex, Naruto," I said quickly, the thought of having sex with Itachi too overwhelming for me at the moment. It was already bad enough that I had already pictured us being intimate in several non-brotherly scenarios.

I shook my head vigorously as a chill ran down my spine, which made Naruto eye me with open curiosity.

"Don't worry, I really want my first time to be with you, and that's not going to change," I assured him softly.

At least that was something I was sure of. In spite of how open minded I was about sex, it had taken far too long for Naruto and me to gain the sort of intimacy we had at the moment, so I sincerely doubted I'd be able to give myself just like that.

The trust I had in Naruto, and the way I trusted him with my body - that wouldn't be easily replaced, not even by Itachi himself.

"Good," Naruto said, smiling slightly and pressing a kiss to my forehead before joining his to it. "I'm going to miss you like hell, Sasuke."

I sighed, longing and a slight sadness I couldn't quite place filling me. "I'm already missing you, Naruto."

_Naruto's POV_

Before leaving for Tokyo on a Sunday morning, Sasuke came by my place to say goodbye. We made out for about five minutes straight in the in a corner of the entrance hall while my mom was happily ironing in the kitchen while watching what sounded like some female beauty show on TV.

Saying goodbye – temporary as it may be – was hard for me. All I wanted was to tell him not to go. I wanted to spend time with him. I wanted to enjoy the holidays, go out on dates with him, and for us to be a proper couple for a change. I wanted our families to spend Christmas together. I wanted to see the end of the year and the beginning of a new one with him.

But these were things I'd never be able to say – I knew that, as his boyfriend, I had sort of the right to say them, but at the same time, he was leaving so his brother wouldn't be alone, but the person Sasuke loved was there, as well, and they were going to talk about things, and that was just too much for me to handle.

I didn't know if Sasuke and I would ever be like this again, and this type of awareness was painful.

The only reason why I tolerated it, really, was simply because I was plain exhausted of living in doubt. Our bond was becoming stronger with each passing day and my feelings for him were getting out of hand. I wanted him, but I wasn't willing to live an illusion forever. And for that illusion to fade, Sasuke had to understand what he wanted once and for all.

The idea that he might choose the other guy instead of me _was_ painful, yes. But I was sort of ready for it – or at least tried to convince myself of that.

I had readied myself for the chance that, upon his return, we might breakup. I knew he liked me, but I also knew how heavy his feelings for that other man weighted on this stupid equation.

I didn't want to lose him to someone else at all. I knew he felt as deeply for me as I felt for him, but if he left me, I couldn't possibly claim to know how I'd react, but surely, I'd be devastated.

We hugged and I whispered simple, thoughtless things in his ear.

All the while he would chuckle against my neck and sigh. I'd breathe in the scent of him and trace the contours of his body with my hands. I relished in the delicious dizziness that his fingers running through the back of my head provided before slowly and appreciatively touching my neck with light fingertips.

_I'll wait for you, okay? I had said._

_You better._

Those were his parting words to me, and all I could do was nod and see him off, filled with an undying hope that baffled even me.

"That was a long goodbye," my mother pointed out casually as I entered the kitchen and sat at the table, huffing dispassionately. "It's amazing how close you and Sasuke have become lately."

I looked to the side, only to see her ironing a red towel, her eyes trained on the TV.

For a moment, I wondered if my dad had told her something about Sasuke and me, and even though the impulse to be defensive struck, I kept my mouth shut and instead I simply shrugged my shoulders and crossed my arms over my chest.

I didn't really feel like doing anything, or even being alone. My mood was gloomy as hell and I felt lost.

My mother threw me a glance. "You look really down, honey," she noticed, still in a rather conversational way.

"I'm fine," I muttered, sinking more in the chair.

"Could it be that you have a crush on Sasuke-chan?" she asked, teasingly.

I felt myself blushing helplessly as I bit the inside of my cheek. It wasn't as if I wanted to deny it because there was a chance that Sasuke and I might, eventually, come clean about our relationship, but I didn't want to talk about it because my mom had the weird ability to make me spill out every single secret about myself if I wasn't careful, and frankly, all I wanted just then was to whine and complain and just talk about everything happening between us and my feelings for Sasuke to someone else. I had no one but Sasuke to talk to, not even Kiba after that weird conversation, and it was stressful.

Also, I hated hiding things from her.

"Ah, I knew it had to be something like that," my mom said, reading my silence rather accurately. " Mikoto says he hasn't had a girlfriend in a while. Although Karin seemed very upset the other day about something related to him, but I didn't quite catch it."

"Yeah, mom, whatever," I mumbled, rubbing my face with a hand. "Just let it go, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

She shrugged her shoulders elegantly.

"Well, I'm glad you boys are getting along better than you used to, at least," my mom commented, folding the towel carefully. "I wouldn't mind if you dated someone like him, to be honest. He's smart and handsome, quite the catch. Anyone who snatches him is sure to be lucky." I looked at her with my eyebrows raised. She pressed the iron to the now neatly folded towel. "Now that I think about it, it's been a while since I've heard of flings from you, as well. You haven't even gone out to party in forever."

"I haven't been in the mood," I replied, making a face. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm not fooling around and getting drunk at parties."

"You know I trust you, but I can't say I'm displeased by the turn of events." She looked at me and offered me a rather goofy smile, much like mine. "Especially since my little boy is giving up on parties to be with the person he's in love with. That's just too sweet!"

"Mom, please," I begged, feeling suddenly uncomfortable for some reason because she was pushing the issue far too much. "I'm not in love with him, okay? Just drop it. I don't want to talk about it."

"Suit yourself, honey." She placed the towel over the counter, next to a neat pile of already ironed clothing, and took out a shirt from the crumpled pile on the table in front of me. Casually, she arranged it over the ironing board.

More upset than I wanted to admit even to myself, I got up. Maybe I'd call Kiba so we could hang out. Maybe I'd just spend the entire morning on the couch, watching movies and sulking.

Definitely not thinking about Sasuke and that fucking guy. Definitely not killing myself thinking about what kind of person that mysterious man was that snatched Sasuke's heart so forcefully.

Maybe Sasuke and I could text each other all the way through his drive to Tokyo so he wouldn't get bored and so that stupid feeling of insecurity from my part could be soothed, just a little.

"Oh, and by the way?" My mom called out behind me sweetly, just as I was leaving the kitchen. "Next time you two want to make out and actually avoid getting caught, you should probably choose a more reserved corner and keep it down. Kids these days think they can get away with everything."

I stopped in my tracks, almost stumbling over my own feet as I spun on my heels to face her. She was looking at the TV with a perfectly straight, calm expression in her young and beautiful face.

"I… what?" I stuttered, gesticulating wildly without even knowing how to react. "I… you… we weren't… Sasuke is…"

"It's okay, Naru-chan," my mom said, shooing me out of the kitchen with a dismissive gesture of her free hand. "I thought you'd spill the beans if I pushed you, but you're stubborn as hell. We'll talk about it when you're not pouting about your boyfriend leaving, alright? Now off you go, I want to finish watching this in peace."

I gaped for several seconds. I felt terribly stupid, as well, my cheeks burning hot.

Did my dad tell her? Did he tell her about what happened when he caught us? How long did she know?

Even though I did want to talk with my mom now and try to understand what was going on and what she thought about it like crazy, I felt suddenly too embarrassed to press the subject..

I don't know why I felt that way. I never wanted to keep things from my parents anyway, and truth be told, the way I was, it was surprising that I had kept my relationship with Sasuke a secret for so long.

I always told my mom about my flings, my girlfriends, and boyfriends. It was always easy because she was a good listener and didn't judge me, offering nothing but good advice.

But thinking about telling her how I felt for Sasuke seemed so hard for some reason, even if she had just basically told me she approved of the joining.

I wanted to. I really did. I wanted her to know everything, I wanted to listen to her kind words, telling me that I deserved to be happy and that everything would be alright.

I wanted to tell her how scared of losing him I was and how I couldn't imagine a life without him if he didn't choose me. I wanted her to know that, somehow, no relationship I had before had ever felt so real and strong.

I wanted her to tell me it would be alright – that Sasuke would choose me and that, together, we'd all work to help Sasuke coming out to his family.

But all my problems seemed so childish suddenly. All of this seemed so terribly childish.

I couldn't tell her all the things that were bothering me. I couldn't do that to Sasuke and reveal his secret – my mom wouldn't be happy about it – and I couldn't just pretend that we were going to live happily ever after when there was still someone else stopping it from happening.

Regardless of the fact that I liked him.

I couldn't just make it look like it was more than it was, even if it felt like so much more and even though I _wanted_ so much more.

I had no idea what my mom knew or what she thought the situation was. But if she hadn't told Sasuke's parents yet, then it was okay.

Swallowing hard, I released a trembling breath. Even if I wanted to, it was best to cool my head off before talking to her about this, so I didn't screw anything up, because I was feeling far too vulnerable just then.

Clenching my fists at my sides, I turned around again and left the kitchen.

_Sasuke's POV_

I stood in front of Itachi's apartment's door with my suitcase in one hand and my set of keys firmly clutched in the other. Kisame had dropped me off at the front of the building and had probably called my brother already saying that I was coming inside (because the guy was that kind of careful and efficient person) so it would only be a matter of time before Itachi found my delay strange and came looking for me. I had already called him on the way there, and he had assured me he would be home.

I stared at the lock as I chewed on my lower lip, feeling completely stupid for hesitating now that I was already there.

There was no turning back now. I couldn't afford to chicken out, and I couldn't let anything stop me. This visit was decisive for my future, I knew it, and I had to face whatever would come out of it in the same firm way I dealt with everything else in my life.

I took a deep breath that didn't calm my rapidly beating heart at all. I then shoved the key inside the lock, hesitating for just a second before turning it and opening the door.

The lights were on, the distant sound of some sad ballad I didn't know coming from the speakers in the ceiling. I stepped inside the apartment, closing the door behind me.

_"Sasuke?"_ Itachi called out, his voice even, casual.

"Yeah," I replied, putting my suitcase down and shoving the keys inside my jacket. I could hear the rushed clanking of plates being settled down. I was in the process of removing my jacket when Itachi emerged from the kitchen, wearing a plain black sweater and light grey pajama pants.

As soon as our eyes met, he stopped in his tracks and I stilled, the jacket halfway down my arms. It was as if time itself had stopped and the atmosphere became instantly charged with tension.

Itachi's dark eyes were the slightest bit wide as he looked at me from his safe spot, his lips slightly parted as if he had been in the process of saying something. I could barely blink as he glanced at me from up to down, seeming slightly in awe for some reason. My breath quickened at the scrutinizing gaze. I tried not to let it show, but I felt sickeningly anxious.

Itachi's hair was tied in a loose ponytail, a few strands having released themselves from the band he had used and framing his face in a rather careless but definitely attractive way. My mouth ran dry.

Suddenly it felt like a long, long time had passed since we had last seen each other. Well, it had been little over two months.

Usually, Itachi would greet me with a warm smile, an unnecessary hug and maybe a kiss to my temple or forehead, but that day, he seemed lost as to what to do, as if unsure of whether it was safe to even approach me. I could see longing and restlessness dancing in his eyes, but his body language was nothing but cautious and evaluating. I somehow knew he had exposed these things to me on purpose.

His reaction was unfamiliar to me, because regardless of my own behavior, Itachi had always been welcoming and comfortable about invading my personal space. Not having that immediate reaction from him made me feel strangely empty but also very self-conscious. The fact that Itachi was behaving this way only meant that, whatever it was that was going on between us, he was obviously acknowledging it, thus the cautious way he was behaving.

"Hi," he greeted eventually as his eyes softened, his voice steady but low.

I cleared my throat to get my wits together. "Hey," I muttered back, finally removing my jacket all the way and hanging it on the coat hanger in front of the wall next to the door.

I tried to act as casual as I could as I averted my eyes from him and removed my shoes. I could hear him taking cautious steps towards me.

"Are you alright?" Itachi asked softly. "Was the ride comfortable?"

"Yeah," I replied, shoving my feet inside the slippers that Itachi had bought a while back especially for me. "It was fine."

When I straightened up to look back at him, I found him much closer now, standing still about a meter away from me, clearly needing to break the enormous gap between us but also wanting to keep a safe distance from me. Still inside the area of the _genkan_ , I looked up at him, understanding that he was giving me space but feeling more uncomfortable by the fact than I had previously thought.

His giving me space was nothing but him offering me a choice. I understood that he wanted _me_ to call the shots. It was me who would decide how things would go from then on, and my decision started there.

I could both reject him and let things fester until one of us broke and things were settled in a chaos of unpredictability, or I could start carving the path towards the beginning of understanding between us.

Or, I could just go to him and let all my frustrations and desires of the last year out and hope that something coherent would come out of it. If we just sucked each other's faces off and found some sort of release together, maybe it would be enough, and we could just both move on with our lives and I could get everything out of my system and go back to Naruto so I could be with him for good.

I had no idea what the right choice was though. All I knew was that Itachi wasn't to me simply an object of sexual interest. I didn't want to live in that hell of uncertainty with him, forever in this unresolved limbo, and neither did I want to ruin our relationship as brothers. He was far too important to me, far too precious, and regardless of what happened, I couldn't allow us to fall apart. We were family, connected by ties of love and blood.

Slowly, I climbed the single step out of the _genkan_ and moved closer to Itachi, whose eyes followed my every movement like a predator. I stood in front of him, easily within his reach but not daring to come into contact with him.

Wetting my dry lips, I stared into his questioning and attentive eyes as I breathed slowly through my nose until I felt like I had enough control over myself to speak again. Then, I swallowed around the lump inside my throat. "Aren't you going to greet me properly?" I asked, more calmly than I felt. "It feels weird if you're not all over my space like you usually do."

Itachi released a soft breath, his lips forming a small, lopsided smile. "Is that what you want?" he asked, his tone filled with the fondness that had made me so uncomfortable for so long but that, in that moment, offered nothing but relief.

I nodded, falsely confident. "Yes."

His arms were around my shoulders before I could prepare myself, his body pressing itself to mine, hot and firm, his face buried in my neck. I found his eagerness both alluring and embarrassing, and yet, having him this close without automatically feeling the need to reject him was undeniably nice. I hadn't gone to him so I could push him away or close myself off from him like before. Itachi felt the same way I did. I had Naruto's blessing, so there was nothing guilt tripping me into not doing what I wanted.

Itachi and I were still brothers, and that still carried a heavy weight to it.

Whatever had to happen, would happen, and details wouldn't be able to stop it.

Slowly, I surrounded him by the waist, my hands flat against his back; the smooth fabric of his sweatshirt under my palms. I couldn't help but pull him more to me, my nose buried in his shoulder as I openly inhaled the clean, soapy scent of him that was something I knew well.

I couldn't help the wave of an almost childish nostalgia that filled me, accompanied by an intense heat that washed over me like a vicious hunger. I was familiar comfort, like the feeling of being home and belonging, and yet, it was different from what I recalled. Itachi's arms around me somehow felt just as safe as they always had.

Everything was, however, undeniably different. The feelings I'd had for Itachi during my childhood mixed with this new lustful infatuation confused me. I had no idea if I wanted to do all sorts of nasty things with him right there and then or if I just wanted to bask in the simple intimacy that seemed so distant, and in the comfort of his familiar presence.

I felt his arms tightening around me. He sighed gently, his warm breath against my neck, but his heart was beating like crazy against my chest, a perfect match to my own wild heartbeat.

It just felt good to be able to do this without feeling the need to flee. Itachi seemed so relieved that I wasn't pushing him away, too, and yet, it was clear that he was also having conflicting emotions at the moment.

I felt soft lips against the curve of my neck in a chaste kiss that made me shiver slightly, and I had to hold back a small moan, because even though the action was innocent, to my body it felt like he was provoking me. The lips lingered for a few seconds before Itachi pulled away a bit so he could look at me. I felt my cheeks burn as I looked up at him again to notice that our faces were way too close for comfort.

My mind was a mess, and my hormones were all over the place and all of it was frustrating as hell.

The fascinated intensity in Itachi's eyes was suffocating. When Naruto looked at me like that, I could barely hold myself back, and yet, there I was, motionless and expectant.

One of Itachi's hands moved to touch my cheek and I clenched my fingers tighter around the fabric of his sweatshirt.

"I'm really glad you're here," Itachi said, his voice low. "Thank you."

"Yeah," was basically all I could say. A thumb brushed over my jaw, and again, I felt my body temperature escalating helplessly. Itachi bit on his lower lip for a few seconds before leaning in. Instant panic filled me.

At that moment, a million things flashed through my mind. I wanted him to do what I thought he was going to do, and at the same time, I was terrified of the consequences. I didn't want him to do it. Was I even ready for something like that?

Next thing I knew, there were lips being pressed to my cheek, careful and gentle, and I all but heaved a sigh.

Well, that had been both relieving and disappointing, but probably for the best.

Itachi pulled away and eyed my features attentively, heatedly, trying to read my reaction, but I merely looked back at him, feeling dazed and frustrated, but not angry.

That gaze showed me what he wanted, and how he was feeling.

I didn't know what _I_ was feeling, or what _I_ wanted. But it should be good enough that I wasn't freaking out, yet, right?

But I also wasn't pleased.

Both my brother's hands fell to my shoulders then. Itachi took a deep breath and then smiled, the action a bit strained, but honest enough. It was clear that he was as much at loss for what to do as I was, and I suppose that, since I didn't really move to take things in another direction, he hadn't felt safe enough to take matters in his own hands either.

Was it too soon? Definitely. But my impulses thought differently.

In a way, I was happy that at least one of us was in control enough to make wise decisions. The tension was too fragile already, and not even I knew what could happen if it that delicate balance was broken.

"I was just making lunch," Itachi said, rubbing my shoulders awkwardly. "I hope you're hungry."

I wasn't. In fact, my stomach was in knots and every tendon in my body felt like it was burning. "I am," I still replied, because I didn't want to create an unnecessary distance now that we were both there.

"What are you cooking?"

"Just some rice and fried fish, nothing complicated," Itachi said, his voice sounding casual, but his hands far too restless and intense on my shoulders. "Help me make some salad?"

My eyes never left his as I contemplated whether I wanted to play as casual as him and wait to see where it will lead us or just completely ruin everything by saying something that I knew would be highly inappropriate. Because that thread beneath our feet that we were walking on made me feel far too anxious and unsure, and I hated it.

But again, I didn't know whether I was ready to go from fragile calm to a chaotic inferno in only a few seconds.

"Sure," I mumbled, not really bothering to smile at him. He didn't seem to take offense. After all, he knew very well what was on my mind.

With clear reluctance, Itachi stepped away from me and I was forced to let go of him. My body felt cold and my hands felt empty, so I crossed my arms over my chest to keep myself steady. I didn't even know what to do with myself, and Itachi seemed just as insecure. Seeing him like that was kind of funny and… well, flattering. My brother was the kind of person who always held himself with composure and confidence, always facing things with a rational, superior mind. He was always the higher being, and yet, he had never seemed so human, so at my level like he did in that moment.

I always thought of him as so much better than me, so superior and untouchable. In spite of knowing how much he valued me, I always thought that I was beneath his worth.

And yet, for me ( _because_ of me) he was looking utterly vulnerable. As if my mere presence overwhelmed him in all the good and bad ways.

Elegantly, he tucked a loose strand of dark hair behind an ear and licked at his lips, his muscles stiff. His cheeks were slightly flustered as he looked away from me, to the side. Then, he locked eyes with me once more.

And that's when, with a little bit of shock, I realized that I held as much power over him in all that fucked up situation as he held over me. The answer to all my questions regarding how I stood in his eyes was there, exposed for me to see.

My heart sped up considerably again and I found myself unable to breathe once more.

The pull between us was suddenly very strong and I couldn't, for the life of me, look away from him.

_This can't' be happening._

_Keep calm._ I thought to myself, over and over again. _He's your brother,_ I kept reminding myself.

_Don't fuck this up. Don't screw everything up right now, there may be no turning back._

And just then, my fear and my revulsion at myself became just as strong as my longing for him.

I was so confused my head was spinning.

Itachi took a deep, sharp breath. "Why don't you go take your things to your room?" When he made the suggestion, his voice was as gentle and smooth as ever, but his eyes were very intense, perceptive, noticing my turmoil, my thoughts, and clearly, it had some sort of effect on him because he tensed even more, his tone far too low. "Make yourself comfortable and I'll be waiting for you in the kitchen."

All I could do was nod before he was turning his back to me, quickly making his way to the kitchen, obviously running away from me before something disastrous happened. Having him out of my sight allowed me to release a shaky breath, but every nerve in my body was trembling with emotion. I felt exhausted but hyped all of a sudden.

Running a hand through my hair, I closed my eyes. I was screwed, that much was a given. I didn't know how or when things would end up being settled between us, but we hadn't seen each other in a while, and this mutual awareness was still too new between us, too raw. Regardless of how we felt, acting upon it right now without conscious thought wouldn't do us any good, and I knew that.

I glanced towards the kitchen entrance. Even if I knew it, all I wanted to do just then was go after him and probably go wild.

I shook my head vigorously. I needed to calm the fuck down, otherwise, I had no idea how I'd ever be able to maturely be in Itachi's presence again.

With a long sigh, I picked up my suitcase and headed towards my room. I was in for quite the troubled vacation.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!
> 
> The story has a strong Itachi/Sasuke side. If this bothers you, you might want to stop reading the fic altogether because it's going to get a lot worse from here on since the next few chapter will be focused on these two and WILL have explicit intimate interactions between them.
> 
> Anyway, to those of you who want to stick around, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 
> 
> This is it for today, though, since I'm really busy and don't have time to post more. Tomorrow I'll be here again ;)
> 
> PLEASE COMMENT ;)!
> 
> See y'all tomorrow! <3<3<3


	18. Chapter Eighteen - Itachi & Sasuke III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay guys, but I was super busy today! I can only post one chapter because I'm dead on my feet already.
> 
> Just so you know, this was the first chapter I wrote after returning to this fic, five years later, so if yousee yet another shift in my writing, now you know why.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> Not betaed.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Tofukuga from Tumblr and the lovely Solochely, who have both been great fans of this fic, and the ones who motivated me to not give up on it. Thank you, my darlings!
> 
> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS M/M AND INCEST. PLEASE DON'T READ IF IT'S NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA.

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Eighteen - Itachi & Sasuke**

_Sasuke's POV_

Itachi and I were sitting at the dining table, silence having settled in the kitchen as we ate. The clanking of cutlery on the plates was deafening to my ears, and the weirdest part was that, despite the prickling tension, Itachi's eyes were glued to mine, almost as if he feared that I'd vanish if he so much as blinked. It was flattering, but suffocating, as well.

However, no matter how much I stared back, I couldn't read what was written in his eyes. I knew Itachi was purposefully keeping up a front to not give away his thoughts - maybe in fear that they would unleash something too strong, too soon - but it was frustrating beyond reason.

My mind was racing, and I felt like a complete mess. I was thinking about so many things at the same time that I felt dizzy, conflicted, and thoroughly pissed off that my brother could look so calm and so fucking patient when I was feeling the way I did.

I knew he was as much of a mess as I was - the way he had hugged me earlier had given it all away - but knowing he was more capable at hiding it than I was made me want to punch him in the face.

It showed how good of a chameleon of an actor he was, that he could use his skills so gracefully even in real life.

Even his hands and his pose were completely relaxed now. I didn't know if I wanted to run away, throw myself at him and kiss him, or start yelling.

Jesus Christ, but I hated myself that all of this was giving me a boner.

It was because I was mindful that there were people starving in the world that I forced myself to chew the food we had half prepared together. The fish was good, but I couldn't enjoy it when my stomach was churning with anticipation. My hands were sweaty. My feet kept moving under the table and I kept adjusting my ass on the chair.

I kept thinking about what I should do. Looking into Itachi's eyes, I knew he was aware of how much of a chaos I was in, but out of politeness (or a mature reasonableness that I didn't yet possess), Itachi didn't allow himself to be that open.

In fact, he hadn't made another move to touch me at all after he had welcomed me. Itachi, who always tended to be touchier than I currently felt comfortable with.

I just wanted him to say something, do something, _anything_. I didn't want to have to do this alone; I didn't want to have to overthink it, and yet, this whole situation was overpowering.

With a loud groan, I let my cutlery fall loudly on my plate. "I can't do this," I said, protectively crossing my arms over my chest.

Itachi didn't flinch, but his eyebrows rose delicately. "What are you referring to?" he asked, as fucking easily as if he were talking about the goddamned weather.

"This!" I snapped, disbelievingly. "Us, being awkward as hell while avoiding the fucking huge elephant in the room! I can barely breathe!" I eyed my brother resentfully. "I can't stand it; it's driving me crazy already. If it's going to be like this until my time here is over then I…"

"You need to calm down," Itachi interrupted, firmly, but with a calm I couldn't muster if my life depended on it. "This isn't exactly easy for me, either."

"It doesn't look that way," I hissed, hugging myself tighter. "I shouldn't have come."

Slowly, Itachi put his knife and fork down, his eyes lowering to his plate. "I'm really happy that you did; you know that."

"Then just…" I groaned again, letting my head drop until my chin connected with my chest, closing my eyes to try to calm myself down. "Fuck. This is just so… _urgh_."

"Alright, Sasuke." At Itachi's words, I opened my eyes and looked up to see him wiping at his mouth with a napkin. He looked back at me, seriously but still awfully formal. "You want to talk?"

I narrowed my eyes. "I want to do a lot of things right now," I retorted, before I could stop myself.

Well, fuck. It's not like I had anything to lose since we both knew what this was all about.

"You're not very subtle with words today," Itachi replied, frowning reproachfully, but with a darkness in his features that allowed me to know that he knew exactly what I was referring to. "Be more careful with what you say, Sasuke. You do realize the delicate situation we're in?"

"All too well," I said defiantly, pleased that I had finally managed to crack his armor.

Itachi sighed. "We can't be impulsive about this."

"I know."

"Well, then, let's address the 'elephant' in the room, shall we," he said, grabbing for the pack of cigarettes that he had left within his reach on the table between us. He opened the lid and extended the pack to me. "Do you want one?"

"Sure," I muttered, helping myself to a cigarette but being careful not to touch him. "This is exhausting."

"It is," he agreed, lighting his own cigarette with his red lighter before throwing it in my direction. I managed to catch it thanks to quick reflexes, but still sent him a venomous look. "Do you want to start? After all, this has been affecting you for a long time."

 _Just me?_ I thought, almost snorting.

"I guess it's no use beating around the bush, but I doubt I can tell you something you don't already know," I mumble with my cigarette between my lips. I lit it before throwing it carelessly on the table. I gazed up at him. "I'm in love with you."

I gauged his reaction, secretly reveling in the subtle way his nostrils flared up as he inhaled through his nose.

Elegantly, Itachi leaned back on his chair, once again, patiently waiting as he brought the cigarette to his lips and took a small puff. "Go on," he said, almost gently, before blowing the smoke out.

For some reason, as we examined each other, I was suddenly hit with a wave of gratifying lucidity and calmness. There we were, just the two of us, in a safe environment, knowing why we were there, knowing how we felt, and finally we were going to come clean about it.

It was difficult to forget the tension, but somehow, just knowing that Itachi was there, simply willing to listen, made me feel a thousand times more at ease than I had been in the previous minutes.

It was no use lying anymore, and I was too emotionally exhausted to go around in circles.

"I think it probably started about a year ago," I began, internally surprised at how easy my voice was coming out of my throat. "I started feeling different things for you when we were around each other. At first, I didn't understand what it was or why I was feeling uncomfortable when I was with you. I thought my feelings were just longing for you since now we live apart and only see each other every few months. Regardless of how happy I am that you're famous and successful, if I must be honest, I don't think I've ever really gotten over this sort of distance, not even now that it's been so long since you've left home."

It was a bit shocking how easy it was to talk to him about this, but I felt so relieved, as well, that it was an almost blissful feeling.

"Leaving you to come study to Tokyo was the hardest thing I had to do so far, Sasuke," Itachi admitted, sadly. "Especially because I knew it'd have a strong impact on you. That was why I wanted to take you under my wing as soon as I was able to afford it."

"That was never a solution for anything," I replied, taking another puff on my cigarette and then letting the smoke out slowly. "You have your own life and I have mine and we can't depend on each other. Even back then, I understood it." I pushed my plate a bit to the side so I could place my elbows on the table. "I kept thinking that coming here to live with you would only be a burden to you. Even if you don't see it as such, it's the truth. I wanted you to live your life and do the things you needed to do without having to worry about me. In addition, I wanted to grow by myself and be independent, _without you_. I couldn't keep following my big brother around forever, even if, many times, I wanted to just say yes and come live with you. But then I thought about mother and father and I just..."

I sighed, scratching the top of my head with my free hand. Itachi nodded for me to continue.

"I don't know, maybe it was the fact that we've always been close and suddenly I became a teenager and interested in so many things I didn't care about before," I proceeded. "You were always my idol, you know that. I always looked up to you. You were always so fucking smart and kind, but strong, open-minded and focused. Being with you has always made me so happy. It still does."

For a moment there, I was struck by all the feelings of loneliness and abandonment I had felt when Itachi had left home. Those feelings felt distant, and yet, they were still in my heart and only then - when I was being vocal about them - could I acknowledge their existence. They had lived inside me all along, mixed with all the love I had for him and all the things that were harder, more difficult to process - things I had tried to smother at any cost.

"I can't tell the exact moment when it all changed, but all of a sudden I couldn't feel at ease when around you and I'd get these weird urges that would make me feel frustrated all the time," I admitted, making a face. "When I realized what it was, I felt really… dirty and disgusted at myself."

"Sasuke," Itachi muttered, frowning in commiseration, the way I spoke having struck a chord in his heart. "Don't say that, you're none of that."

"You're my brother, Itachi," I countered, shaking my head from side to side. "I didn't even think about the fact that you were of the same gender as me; I just kept thinking that it was unhealthy for me to feel such horrible things for my own relative, so I tried to stay away from you because I didn't know what else to do. I tried to be more sexually active. I dated a lot in hopes that it would made me forget how I felt about you, how much I wanted you. I wanted to fall in love with someone else. I never cared about love or relationships, but I was that desperate."

Realizing the veracity of what I said made my heart beat faster again, but I didn't look away from my brother's intelligent, attentive eyes. Even if he was silent and seemed mostly impassive, I knew he was absorbing my every word as if each sentence was sacred.

It wasn't as if I had pondered on what I'd say to him that day. Not knowing what to expect from my vacation with Itachi, I had imagined thousands of possible case scenarios but had prepared for none.

However, these things just left my mouth with as much honesty as I could muster, and I wasn't embarrassed by them at all - I owned them.

I did know that it would affect him, and that had been my purpose all along. Somehow, I wanted Itachi to understand that I never wanted him to think I had stopped loving him, that it had been the exact opposite to the point where it became almost unbearable to be around him.

I didn't know what I was expecting out of it, though. I was just doing what had to be done to get things clear, but to what end I had yet to find out.

Decidedly, I would play the game as it progressed – there was no other choice.

"Nothing worked, really," I continued, inhaling the smoke from my cigarette before tapping the forming ashes of the burning stick over the ashtray that rested between Itachi and me. "I couldn't bother to care enough for my girlfriends, and they never managed to make me feel anything out of the ordinary. And then Naruto and I kissed out of some silly bet. Naruto has a hard time with relationships, so when he suggested we dated, it seemed like a crazy idea, but also strangely fitting because we were both looking for something."

Despite myself, I released a small, ironic and fond laugh. "I was honest with him from the start, about being in love with someone and about me dating people so I could try to forget those feelings. And he took it so well. He's been like a grounding force for me. He supports me and my feelings, helps me grow and gives me everything I've always wanted in a relationship and more. I couldn't be more grateful to him. I love everything about us and it's something I wouldn't have put my faith on a few months ago at all."

"You seem to have managed to fall in love with him." Itachi's statement seemed to come out of another world, another dimension. I blinked at him, confused as to why and how Naruto had come to be a part of this conversation without me noticing it.

I had to think twice about what Itachi was saying to me, and only then did it hit me.

Me? In love with Naruto?

It was strange but I didn't have to think about it much at all. Just thinking about Naruto made me remember all the good times we had together, the laughs, the camaraderie, the stupid fights and the calm, content way he made me feel that contrasted so beautifully with the excitement of how sexually liberated we were together.

Being with Naruto gave me a sense of self, and of freedom I had never felt with another person before.

It was odd.

I swallowed hard. "I guess I did," I admitted softly, with a small shrug of my shoulders. "I can't imagine a life without him right now."

That had been surprisingly easy to acknowledge, even to myself. It should make me happy, relieved, but it really didn't.

It would all be great if Itachi didn't have the impact on me that he did. But well, Itachi had been the reason Naruto and I had gotten together in the first place.

How fucked up was that?

Itachi's eyes didn't change, but his features did, becoming harder, slightly affected in an almost arrogant way. "But we're still here, aren't we?" he asked, almost mockingly.

Indeed, falling in love with Naruto had nothing to do with how I felt for Itachi, and neither type of love could possibly be compared. How I felt for both was worlds apart and one love did not erase the other - they just existed, with different foundations, different characteristics and different motivations, but still strong and _there_.

I realized that I been foolish in thinking I could rely on someone else to deal with how I felt for my brother, and I understood that my actions would've probably end up in suffering, not only for Naruto, but for me, too.

I would probably lose Naruto at some point, and that would devastate me.

I shouldn't have accepted his proposal, because now I was stuck in the middle of my own mess and unable to escape.

I loved Naruto, but I loved Itachi, too. Naruto's love felt right, but Itachi's didn't (or shouldn't), and yet, its force was so consuming I couldn't help but want it. From the moment it was hinted that Itachi and I had feelings for each other beyond familial, the pieces of this frightening puzzle had started to come together, and a flicker of hope had been ignited. That small flame was something I could not ignore, no matter how much I tried to rationalize all the cons that would follow it.

It hit me then that I was very likely to end up losing not just Naruto, but both.

"It's just different; how I feel for Naruto and how I feel for you," I muttered, shaking my head from side to side, feeling helpless. "With him I can do whatever I want. It's comfortable and intimate. It's exciting and safe, and we have the right amount of just about everything we need. There's nothing more I could ask for, really. It's become both sexual and emotional and I suppose it's perfect in its own way."

It was. God, it really was. What was I doing, going on this path with Itachi that would destroy everything?

And the worst part was, a very dark, curious and evil part of me wanted to travel that path to see for myself where it would lead and think about the mess later.

"But when it comes to _you_ , the lines are blurred, Itachi," I said, and my voice shook ever so slightly. I smashed the tip of my cigarette inside the ashtray, taking the time to look away from my brother so I could regain some form of control over my emotions. "We've always been close, and I do love you. As a person, as a brother, and as a friend; there is no replacing who you are to me. But then I feel like I want more from you, and sometimes I want it so badly in ways not even I understand, but then it freaks me out just thinking about the possibility of that even being an option because I know it's wrong and will never have a future. This situation is horrible in every way."

I saw Itachi's hand coming near mine as he put out his own cigarette, but I still wouldn't look up at him. I bit down hard on my lower lip. "It's hasn't gone away because of Naruto at all, but maybe it's gotten worse because you hinted that there is something else coming from your side and there is a part of me that's clinging to the need to…"

I stopped myself when Itachi's hand finally reached for mine. Long fingers brushed the back of my hand hesitantly for a moment before the fingers retracted, curling in on themselves and turning into a full fist. I saw the hand moving away from sight and I had to look up at Itachi, finding that he had leaned slightly in, his eyes avidly scanning my face even though his features still had an emotionless veil over them.

His tongue appeared between his lips to wet them. I gulped, feeling a chill run down my spine.

"Finish what you have to say." Itachi's words were nothing more than an alluring whisper.

"I don't know," I mumbled, looking at him with as much intensity as he was doing. "I don't know if it's just a stupid, childish hope that you and I can be together, somehow, or if it's a necessity to crush this idea and need for things to end up badly and not work out so we can stop feeling this way and go back to the way they were before. So I can go back to Naruto. Because I'm tired of this, and he doesn't deserve it, and I don't feel like you and I should be living this way. I don't want to feel so horrible with you the way I do. Not with you."

It was Itachi's turn to bite down on his lower lip. From one second to the other I saw the veil fall and his expression change to something I had never seen before but couldn't quite identify.

Unexpectedly, he stood up. Only then did I realize that he seemed to be breathing a little faster than before. "I don't know what to say to you," he said solemnly, before promptly turning his back on me and walking towards the counter.

A little surprised, I watched him rummage through the upper cabinets before moving to the lower ones. He left all the doors open and moved to the fridge, where he apparently found what he wanted - an already opened bottle of white wine.

"Itachi," I called out, unsure of what to do. I couldn't read his demeanor despite perceiving his now obvious distress, but I couldn't tell if he was angry or just lost.

"Just give me a second," he said, his polite tone ironically not betraying his body language.

In silence, I watched him pull out the cork on the half full bottle before gracelessly taking a gulp directly from it. He moved again, this time to lean the small of his back on the counter and I noticed he had gotten ghostly pale, even if his cheeks had an almost feverish rosy hue to them.

It was when he closed his eyes and let head fall so his chin touched his chest that I understood he was completely all over the place. This was not something I had ever seen in my short life.

The sight made my heart clench, yet, at the same time, it felt gratifying to know that he was deeply affected by what I just told him.

Knowing we were both feeling the same weight, the same level of confusion and emotion was fucked up, yet sickly reassuring. It was our moment, something we both shared, and it made it all so much easier to handle, somehow.

I took a deep, steadying breath. Carefully, I got up from my chair and made my way to him. He didn't move, but I noticed his eyes following my approaching footsteps.

"Can I have some?" I asked, when we were in front of each other, close enough to touch, but not really doing so. He nodded and passed me the bottle of wine, still not looking at me. I accepted it, still mindful not to touch him and took a few healthy swigs of the wine, happy when I felt the alcohol helping my mind to quiet down a bit.

With a sigh, I set the bottle down on the surface behind me before leaning back against the counter next to my brother, again, close enough to feel his body heat, but never enough to touch.

We were silent for a while, just taking in the severity of what was happening to, and between us.

"You know, Sasuke. Ever since you were born and I first laid my eyes on you, you've been the most precious thing in my life," Itachi confessed softly. He finally lifted his head up and looked at me, and for a second there he looked much older. "I immediately felt like you were a part of myself, like I had to protect you and be there for you no matter what. I can't explain it well, but I suppose one can call it something like and unconditional 'love at first sight'."

He smiled at me and I felt a pleasant chill run down my spine.

"You have no idea how happy I was, seeing your first steps, listening to your first words, watching you grow up. It was a joy unlike anything I had ever felt," Itachi said, now straightening up and tilting his head back so he was looking at the ceiling, almost dreamily. "It still is. Watching you grow and succeed at everything you desire, watching you just being yourself and happy. It fills my heart with joy, regardless of whether I was there to help you or not."

"I know that," I acknowledged, in a whisper. "You were always there for me, even in times when we bickered about every little thing. I always knew I could count on you."

"There is no-one in this world, Sasuke, that I love more than I love you, and there never will be," he said, with a sigh that sounded exhausted. "Mother or father, my close friends or lovers. It may sound harsh, but they don't matter to me as much as you do. You are someone I cannot bear to live without. If something were to happen to you, I'm sure I'd die. If someone were to hurt you, I'd kill them before they could even take a breath."

I got goosebumps at his words because, as mildly as he spoke, I knew him well enough to know that he was deadly serious. It's not as if I didn't know that, but the realization hit me like a punch to the gut, and with a force I wasn't expecting.

Itachi had always been intense like this, and it got me wondering if his suffocating love had been what forced my own feelings to awaken in response, but I couldn't remember the moment my feelings for him blossomed into something more.

Itachi took another deep breath before continuing. "I knew, since I was a child, that my love for you is something… _unnatural_ , even for a sibling," he said, looking down again, this time at his hands as he scratched at his left palm. "I never thought much about it, though, because you and I have always shared a deep bond. We have always been close, and that made me happy. As I grew older, I understood that, maybe this obsession I had with always being around you and watching over you wasn't exactly healthy. But, again, I didn't want to think about it. If we were okay and you were receptive to me and our balance couldn't be broken, it would be fine. All because caring for you and loving you just comes as naturally as breathing to me, and it always has."

It almost sounded paternal if not for the graveness in his tone and the almost sensual way he uttered these things, as if he knew they were not to be spoken, but took pleasure in finally letting them out.

Itachi looked back at me, this time frowning slightly. "I have always been drawn to you," he admitted, shaking his head from side to side. "I won't deny that it's been intensifying as you grew up and matured and we got to bond over different, more mature things. You are at my level, finally, and that's frankly as exhilarating as it is overwhelming." He stopped himself, taking a second to openly eye me from head to toe, appreciation obvious in his gaze. "You're a breathtaking sight, Sasuke."

My heart nearly jumped out of my throat as my stomach and chest clenched painfully while adrenaline ran through my veins. I honestly wasn't the type of person to feel flattered by these compliments, least of all aroused, but maybe because it was him saying it, I couldn't help the heat from flooding me.

Itachi was the one human being I had always considered perfect in every way. Be it physically or intellectually, he was flawless in every aspect of his existence - even his flaws were perfect. Someone like him saying these things to me should be forbidden.

My mouth ran dry, my hands started shaking, wanting to act, to do something, but I knew I shouldn't, so I found it safer to keep quiet. Clearing my throat, I shoved both my hands inside the pockets of my pants, my mouth firmly shut.

"Maybe that's me being a little narcissistic since we are a lot alike," Itachi proceeded, this time with a small, nasty smirk. "I'm not going to deny that, apart from being drawn to the wonderful person you are, there is also something very… dark that attracts me to you on a more physical form."

He stopped himself again to openly gauge my reaction. Unlike him, I didn't hide behind a mask, but whatever it was that he could see on my face lit a spark in his eyes. "If I have to be completely honest with you, you are everything I've ever wanted in a lover, and I know that, considering how I feel for you, I know I will never find anyone capable of being a replacement for you. I simply cannot feel for another person the way I feel for you; never have, and probably never will."

I could hear his breathing going a bit faster, his voice lowering with the force of his own words. Clenching my fists, I had to look away again; it was getting increasingly hard to breathe, hard to not react and stay put.

How could he say those things to me? If I thought I'd been honest about how I felt for him, it was nothing compared to the things he was telling me, and I realized I didn't know how to handle them.

"But you are my little brother," Itachi whispered. "I am Uchiha Itachi, and you are Uchiha Sasuke. We share the same blood, sons of the same mother. As if that wasn't already serious enough, you are underage, and I am not."

"And I'm a guy?" I snapped, finding it easier to cope with my feelings by being aggressive rather than emphatical.

How could someone be so straightforward about things and then put so many obstacles in our path at the same time?

"I'm actually pansexual, much like Naruto, Sasuke."

It felt like being slapped. I thought I was the only one struggling with my sexuality before, trying to understand if I liked guys too or if my attraction to a man was directed linked to my feelings for Itachi and there my brother was, securely affirming that he was aware of his own preferences all along.

I couldn't even feel angry as I blinked at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you might suspect it," Itachi replied, apologetically. "I've always been open with you, and tolerant towards many things. I'm sorry if I wasn't honest about that."

"No, you don't need to apologize," I retorted, pinching the bridge of my nose. "It's just… I feel like we're sharing too much information all at once."

Maybe I should've known. I should've seen it coming but perhaps, because I was so focused on myself and on running away from him that I never got to look at him beyond what I already knew.

Next to me, Itachi took a deep breath. He reached out behind us for the bottle of wine again and picked it up. With a motion of his head that incited me to follow, he walked away with steady steps. I couldn't help but watch him leaving the kitchen, my eyes scanning his form, the contours of his body that seemed so unnaturally perfect and the way his dark hair seemed to fall so gracefully down his back in that loose ponytail that only he could pull off.

There was nothing inherently feminine about my brother - he was considerably taller than me, and his new role in this movie he was filming had demanded him to be impeccably fit. Nevertheless, mundane as he looked in his pajama pants, I couldn't help but think that he looked otherworldly.

I couldn't grasp, however, if my thoughts came from a desire for him or a desire to be like him. It wasn't as though I cared about how I looked at all, so maybe it had something to do with the whole that was Itachi. Maybe I wanted to have him, or maybe I just wanted to be him. Maybe I was just greedy and wanted both, difficult as it was to achieve.

Either way, just looking at him made my very soul spiral out of control. My body felt hot, imaginary needles pricking my skin.

I had it bad, and our conversation had done nothing to make it better.

I wondered how long would this last before one of us cracked.

What was going to happen now?

Clenching my teeth, I had to take a second to get my shit together as much as I could. Then, I slowly followed after him.

I found him in the living room, comfortably sitting back on his sumptuous sofa, the bottle of wine resting on the floor. Itachi looked up at me as I approached him, my steps cautious. It was hard to breathe, almost as if the air in the room was stuffy, heavy, and yet I tried to keep a mature stance as I sat down on the sofa by his left side, again, at a safe distance.

At the same time, as if synced, we twisted our bodies so we could face each other, both of us moving so we were tucking one leg under us. He did seem more relaxed now, his small breakdown having allowed him to go back to his usual, in control self.

I couldn't help but eye him and wish that he wouldn't be this way. Even if it was something I admired him for, I just genuinely wished that, for once, he could lose himself completely and make things easier for us.

Even if I had no fucking clue what to do afterwards, for now, that would be ideal.

Still, he just stared. There was so much intensity in those eyes that it felt as though I could hear all the things running through his mind.

It was so frustrating. I understood his side of things, of course I did, but I couldn't understand why he had to keep me at arm's' length.

"So, we basically feel the same way about each other," I started, carefully choosing my words now since the tension was so fragile. "What now?"

Itachi merely shrugged his shoulders. "I don't have an answer to that," he muttered, softly. "I honestly don't know what to do, Sasuke."

"What do you _want_ to do?" I pressed, daring to move closer to him on the sofa. He watched my every movement with those clever, perceiving eyes of his who openly expressed his understanding of my actions.

"It's not so much about what I _want_ to do as it is about what _must_ , and _mustn't_ be done," he replied, eyes narrowing.

"Does it make a difference now?" I asked, knowing I sounded maybe a little too seductive, but unable to help myself. "You already said that you love me. You basically told me that you want to fuck me, too. It doesn't make a difference what you say now."

There was a small, unexpected blush appearing on his cheeks, and yet, he merely frowned reproachfully. "Sasuke, that's not what I meant to…"

"Kiss me," I cut, assertively, and Itachi started a bit, his eyebrows quirking upwards as if he wasn't expecting my boldness.

Truth be told it hadn't been intentional - it had been said without thinking, out of my own sincerity and desire to cause havoc, to break barriers, tear down walls and rip apart the ribbon of blood that connected us together.

There wasn't much to be done to avoid the sin anymore, not when we had both made sure to let the secret out to each other.

Itachi's mouth hung slightly open, eyes unblinking as he watched me speechlessly. I closed my own mouth, gulping. In my expectancy, my heart was beating so fast it made me feel disoriented.

Itachi's eyes lowered to my mouth. "What about Naruto?" he whispered. I took a breath.

"Naruto has nothing to do with this," I whispered back. "No-one does. It's between you and me."

After a pause that seemed to last forever, Itachi slowly nodded, once. "Alright," he acquiesced, his voice so smooth it did things to my stomach.

Our eyes locked again. I felt like the world had somehow stopped turning.

Short of breath, I watched attentively as Itachi slowly dragged himself closer to me this time, nimble like a dangerous feline. I barely blinked so as to not miss a single thing as both his hands reached out cup my cheeks in them. It took only a second for the distance between us to be broken as he tilted his head slightly to the side, his face a breath away. I stopped breathing as he took a teasing moment to part his lips, his warm breath ghosting over mine, making me close my eyes. I opened my mouth a little, and that was when he leaned all the way in to cover it with his.

It was the strangest feeling. At first, my heart fluttered with an unknown emotion I hadn't anticipated - something strong, comfortable and familiar, nostalgic almost - only to start beating considerably faster the moment I exhaled through my nose.

I didn't know what to do with myself. I had expected an explosion of desire, and while it was present, this almost innocent reverence had me feeling helpless.

Itachi's fingers were careful, loving as they stroked my cheeks. My shaky hands came up to grab hold of his wrists, and I could feel the wild thrumming of his pulse beneath my fingertips, giving away the fact that my brother wasn't, in fact, as composed as he seemed, and this both frightened and excited me unexpectedly.

Swallowing hard, I dared to experimentally move my mouth against his. Itachi seemed to gasp softly before allowing himself to respond, chastely. That was undeniably nicer than I had expected. Suddenly, more than registering that we were finally - _finally_ \- kissing, I realized that I had never felt him so undone in my whole life, so obviously fragile in my hands.

Itachi was as feeling as helpless as I was, and it moved me to depths of my soul.

This was probably the moment I understood exactly how fucked up we were, and that we had gotten ourselves into some deep, deep shit.

Still, it didn't seem to matter now that we had taken the plunge - at least we were in it together.

"Itachi," I whispered breathlessly, against his mouth. "Itachi…"

I didn't even know what I wanted to say, what I wanted to express, but it seemed to stir him to life as he released a moan and pressed his mouth fully against mine.

Without me understanding what was going on, I felt him moving, hands letting go of me so his arms could go around my neck in a breathtaking hug, his body hitting me so unexpectedly I was thrown backwards onto the sofa cushions with his full weight on top of me.

I instantly felt like I had caught fire, and if I had thought the explosion of lust wouldn't come, it did then by hitting me like a fucking train.

Itachi's fragility had been veiled again as he took the reins. His kiss had become quick, pressing and relentless, nothing like it had been when we started. He kissed with an almost irrational expertise, voracious, demanding and possessive, and this wasn't exactly something new to me, but I hadn't been prepared at all for the suffocating longing coming from him, poured onto me so openly.

I felt humbled, yet arrogant before it.

God, that felt _good_.

All I could do was automatically respond with the same fervor, exhilaration filling me almost the point of hysteria.

I understood many things then, one of them being that I didn't know how to handle so much devotion coming from the both of us.

I whimpered slightly, my arms coming around his torso to hold him close, my lips hungrily moving with his carelessly, and yet, clumsy as it was, it felt as if we'd been doing it forever. Our tongues met easily with open hunger; breaths hot against each other as we awkwardly arranged ourselves so I could spread my legs. He understood my silent message because nimbly, he moved to nestle between them, our crotches coming into contact at once, giving away the fact that we were obviously both already fully aroused and I could all but let out an indecorous moan, my fingers digging on the muscles of his back over his sweater.

 _Wow_.

Itachi broke the kiss to brace himself with both hands at the sides of my head. I barely got a glimpse of him as he began to shower open-mouthed kisses on my cheek, lips brushing over my skin before nibbling on my jaw,. I bit down hard on my lower lip. I felt teeth scraping my chin. His mouth moved to the side of my neck as I threw my head to the side to offer more access at the same time that I wound my legs around his hips. I wasn't exactly shy in running my hands up his back, then down again, exploring the contours of a body I knew well, yet not well enough. I also wasn't shy in tugging the hem of his sweater up so I could feel the firm skin underneath, and heaven's help me, if felt amazing.

Itachi was leaner than Naruto, yet his muscles were harder, too, his skin hard but strangely soft. When my hands ran up towards his shoulder blades, his spine curved in pleasure as a response - a simple thing that I found unbelievable sensual and that pleased me immensely.

I gasped slightly as Itachi ground down, hips easily undulating against me fluidly, perfectly, and creating the most amazing friction. A warm hand came in between us to lift my shirt up and touch skin possessively, wanton fingers caressing my navel first, then travelling up my chest, fingertips brushing over a nipple. My whole body trembled at that, and as he pressed down on me further, I could feel my cock throbbing in yearning inside my clothes, the feel of his own hard length against it doing nothing to calm me down.

I would've cursed if I could find a coherent way to do so.

I could feel that Itachi wasn't as composed as he would've been in the same situation with someone else, but it was clear to me that he was still calculating and thoughtful, ever the perfectionist, counting one step at the time as he attentively contemplated which path to take with me.

_What makes Sasuke moan? What makes him gasp? What makes him tick?_

I could almost hear Itachi's senses working, eagerly registering every sound I made, every move and every gesture.

It was hard to breathe, but it was one of the best things I'd ever felt in my life. I'd had some very intense moments with Naruto, but this was shockingly deep, heavy and… 'ideal' was probably the word, or maybe it was just me being stupidly romantic - a guy hopelessly in love finally getting back ages of longing for the most appetizing fruit, the most forbidden one.

I brought my hands down to grab hold of Itachi's ass to squeeze the butt cheeks there and urge him closer, faster, and he willingly obliged, picking up a steady, intense pace. I moved my head so our mouths could connect once more, tongues meeting wetly and noisily and so strangely in sync it had to be unnatural. He tasted so good I could barely believe it to be real.

None of that seemed real.

I could feel strands of his hair that had fallen from the ponytail brushing my face. The way he moved on me, so intense but calculating was insanely hot.

My desire was escalating too fast and too soon, and maybe it was my teenage hormonal state that made it all worse, but I felt shameless and horny and knew I wasn't going to last when I was feeling this ridiculously good for so little.

"Ah…" I panted, feeling my heartbeat go wild as a sort of vertigo hit me. Itachi bit on my lower lip sensually and gave it a slight tug. "I'm close… shit…"

Itachi broke the kiss at once, and while my eyesight was blurry, I could feel his eyes on my face, hungry, seeking my every expression and I knew he wanted to see what kind of face I made when I orgasmed.

 _Sick fuck_ , I thought vaguely, licking my own lips in arousal.

His hips moved faster, harder against me, rubbing down for more friction, his own need for release a silent scream in our turmoil. "Go on," he encouraged, his voice a low, breathless pit of desire. "Let me see it, Sasuke."

And fuck me, that was the kind of thing I didn't even know I was into until then, but it made my brain short circuit.

I knew he was watching, and I had the overwhelming need to watch him, too, but I simply couldn't. All I could do was let out a low grunt through clenched teeth and squeeze his ass further. I tried to move with him, lifting my hips upwards for more - a desperate need to feel more and give more. I remember throwing my head back and not thinking about anything at all as I came, aided by Itachi's relentless, delicious thrusts, my body clenching as I hissed tremulously. I was vaguely aware of him inhaling sharply as his own hips quivered a little for a while, his movements slowing down.

We rode the high for a few seconds, our bodies undulating together, our pace slowing down progressively, like lazy waves. I could feel his breath against my chin, and as I slowly got my shit together, I opened my eyes to find him watching me, his own bright with fond fascination. I noticed his hair was a mess, strands sticking in every direction having set themselves free from the loose ponytail he always wore, making him look completely ravished, so very unlike him.

I enjoyed seeing that - a rather refreshing change from the perfect persona Itachi always showed. I added a silent mental note to myself to make sure I would see other sides of this as often as possible.

I wanted to undo him completely.

"Jesus Christ," I muttered, still dizzy from the explosion of pleasure I had just experienced. "Fuck."

"That's one way to put it," Itachi muttered back, planting a leisure kiss on my chin. "I wish you could see yourself right now, Sasuke."

We really didn't need to speak - we both knew how it had felt for the both of us. I didn't need him to explain his words because I knew I was, in his eyes, as astounding as he was in mine.

Just this raw version of each other was everything we needed. Maybe no-one would ever see us as emotionally exposed as we were just then.

"I just realized I don't know how handle the way I feel about you," Itachi whispered, his forehead then connecting with mine as he closed his eyes. "I love you so much I don't know what to do. I want to protect you and yet, all I do is taint you."

Swallowing hard, I hugged him, content with the inviting warmth of his skin under the palms of my hands. "I was already tainted when I allowed myself to admit my feelings for you," I said, gently.

"You're underage, and my brother," Itachi said, as if reprimanding himself. "I should know better."

"And have us be miserable for the rest of our lives?" I asked, with a weak snicker. "How would that be any better?"

He had no answer for me. Silently, he allowed me to gently motion him down, so he was resting his head on my chest. With a small sigh, I languidly kissed the top of his head, my lips relishing in the softness of his hair, feeling soothed by the familiar scent of his shampoo.

"You know what I hate?" he asked me, quietly. "I hate that I can only feel morally guilty to a certain extent. A sadistic part of me just wants to say, 'fuck it'."

'Hate' was a strong word, and not one he used easily.

I couldn't help but laugh genuinely this time. "It's hard to feel guilty when you click with someone so easily, regardless of the sordid details," I said, absently pulling at the hair band that still held a part of his hair together and removing it completely. In slight awe, I watched as his dark hair came loose in a silky puddle over his shoulders. I put the band around my wrist before running my fingers through the strands, thoughtfully. "Do you really think something like this can be considered a sin?"

Itachi heaved a small breath at the ministrations to his hair. "It doesn't feel that way," he replied. "But it's not how other people will see it, Sasuke."

I knew that I thought, closing my eyes. I knew that something like this probably didn't have a future, and regardless of how long it could last behind closed doors, eventually questions would be asked, and secrets would slip away - it was bound to go haywire sooner or later.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder if, despite it all, it wouldn't be worth it. So many people wanted to love like this, and some would give everything to be loved back in similar proportions.

Was that the right thing to do, though? Was it really alright to give in to this and throw everything away?

"We'll figure it out," I managed to say, confidently, even though I had literally no idea where to turn to now.

Itachi in my arms felt good. His weight on top of me felt good. The cum inside my underwear felt good, and so did the scents that belonged to him that were now all over me. For now, if this made sense, it would have to be enough.

What would become of us? Of my beloved relationship with Naruto? What would become of my life? So many things would change if I chose Itachi.

Could I ever do it? Was there even a place in the world for us?

Right now, it was easy to both panic and just want to throw caution out the window and take a leap of faith. But I knew this was just the beginning - the purest, blindest form of passion - and that the magic and the beautiful tragedy would fade soon to give place to hard, cold reality.

I didn't know what to do, either. But we couldn't just sit by and wait for a miracle to happen.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment, I will reply to everything tomorrow and grant yet another chapter! We're almost one on one with ff.net, soon the updates won't be daily anymore ;)
> 
> Also, as you might've predicted, this story will have many twists and take many turns. Hopefully you guys will enjoy the ride!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	19. Chapter Nineteen - Itachi & Sasuke IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared for a long chapter, but it was a necessary evil. I don't know if you guys noticed, but the title of the chapters are indicating that they will be Itachi/Sasuke centered in case you want to skip it. I will announce, however, if there are Naruto/Sasuke interactions in the chapter or some of Naruto's POV.
> 
> A big thank you to my beloved Tofukuga from tumblr who was my driving force throughout the writing of this chapter, and a massive hug to MistyMi for being such a wonderful beta and such an inspiration!
> 
> WARNINGS: INCESTUOUS FEELINGS AND CONVERSATIONS. No smut though.

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Nineteen**

_Sasuke's POV_

I won't deny that things felt a bit awkward after what we had done - we had gone through a lot in a short period of time, and had lived through far too many emotions to handle all at once. Itachi and I had exposed ourselves to each other, telling each other about repressed feelings that, in different circumstances, were not supposed to ever be put into words.

It almost felt like a bizarre dream, where one can't tell whether they enjoyed it or were disturbed by its nature.

The fact that I couldn't feel disgusted by what had happened between us was, in fact, what disturbed me. Something like this was out of the ordinary, a taboo, and one should at least feel some form of guilt or revulsion, but, as Itachi had said, those feelings only managed to reach me to a certain extent, probably only due to moral values of some sort.

To think I had spent months on end hating myself for feeling this way, only to have everything being thrown out the window the moment Itachi and I kissed.

I only felt guilty about _not_ feeling guilty. How could I when the person I'd been in love with had willingly taken the step to admit he shared my feelings? How could I when it had felt so good?

I could tell Itachi was struggling with the same issues. When one thinks about it, it doesn't seem like a big deal - not feeling remorseful for sinning in such a way -, and yet, the internal conflict remains, whether one likes it or not.

While I could afford to bask in everything in a more careless way, I immediately noticed that Itachi carried this burden from a different perspective that I could only understand from a rational point of view, yet couldn't quite grasp.

Of course, this was only the childish me, too blinded by the emotional high I was feeling.

Itachi was the older brother, the adult who was supposed to be responsible for keeping things in check, yet he hadn't, and even if I was happy about that, to him, that lack of control had been an irresponsible mistake.

Not that he considered a 'mistake' being intimate with me, but for sure he thought he had faltered when he had allowed himself to bring a form of sex to the equation so suddenly, just when we had both started to enter this new reality.

A part of me empathized with the sentiment – it had been rather unexpected, and too fast, too soon. We had barely touched, and the moment we kissed things had escalated until we came together. However, another part felt slightly exasperated as well because I didn't want Itachi to draw away from me again out of some moral obligation of being socially correct. We _had_ come this far already to go back.

We held each other on the sofa for a long time, not really saying anything; just enjoying each other's presence and the quiet pleasure of finally being in each other's space without barriers.

After a while, Itachi suggested that it was better if we cleaned up, and I gratefully agreed because the stickiness in my underwear was getting uncomfortable.

"You don't want to take a shower?" I asked, once we were in his stylish bathroom, a not so subtle suggestion implied. I opened the shower faucet so the water could heat up.

"I already did before you got here," Itachi said, in his serious, yet polite tone. I started removing my sweater and at once his eyes were dragged towards me, narrowing as I was left topless. "As much as I would enjoy it, I'd rather not. I'll just clean up."

Pressing my lips tightly together, I told myself it was stupid to feel disappointed. I had seen the hunger in his gaze, but once again, Itachi was putting up his veil, summoning the bubble that was his safe space.

He was thinking about useless stuff again, and I knew it wasn't wise to push him.

"Suit yourself," I retorted, unbuttoning my pants and lowering them along with my messy underwear. I turned my back to Itachi, who simply stood there, next to the sink, watching me. I could feel his eyes - like feathers, they brushed over me slowly and appreciatively, causing goosebumps to rise all over my skin.

"What are you staring at? It's not like you haven't seen me naked before," I said, a bit sheepishly.

"I'm seeing you differently now," Itachi replied, softly. Taking a deep breath while feeling my cheeks warm up, I kicked my clothes to the side and stepped inside the shower, closing the curtains behind me. As soon as the warm water hit me, it instantly helped me feel a little less strained since I was already sporting a forming erection that I hoped Itachi hadn't noticed.

These days with him were not going to be easy at all.

As I slowly washed myself, I could hear Itachi fumbling about and turning on the water in the sink. We were silent for a while, and it wasn't exactly awkward, just slightly unsure. I felt kind of stupid, like a small child who had been caught doing something embarrassing and now didn't know what to do about it.

"Itachi?" I called out, carefully.

"Yes, Sasuke?" came Itachi's composed voice. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.

"You're not regretting this, are you?" I asked, feeling hesitant despite all the things we had already done and all the things he had said to me.

Still, he didn't reply right away, which had my heart beating faster with anticipation.

"I don't regret it," he said, and his tone was meticulously honest, gentle even. "I just need time to adjust, that's all."

"Adjust?"

"You need to understand, Sasuke, that I think about many things when I look at you," he said, this time a little more firmly, gravely. "There were many things about us that I wasn't prepared for when I agreed to kiss you, and I need to learn how to deal with them. You're my little brother."

"I heard it the first time, and I'm not a child anymore," I retorted, even if his words caused things to happen in my stomach. "You need to get over that."

"Even if I know it, and _see_ it, it's still a difficult concept for me," Itachi admitted evenly. "I don't enjoy the way I think, Sasuke. While it doesn't feel wrong to want you, it's not easy for me to wrap my mind around the things I feel when I'm with you like that."

This time, it was me who couldn't reply, feeling my throat run dry, my breath catching.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, feeling the water hitting me and sliding down my body. I felt hot, understanding well what he meant.

"I don't expect you to understand," Itachi added, again, choosing his words with care. "I know you felt it too, but it's different for me. I'm not seventeen. We weren't on the same page from the start; it's a lot to take in."

Even if Itachi wasn't being purposefully provocative, I felt as if it was a provocation. Everything my brother said had a well-constructed meaning behind it, and I knew him well enough to see it. The concerned, almost self-accusatory tone he used was a giveaway that I made him go out of his own comfort zone and that I took his composure away. He wanted me to know so it was both a teasing and a warning, and that had the unexpected effect of riling me up.

What did he want from me? Was he telling me to break down his walls or was he warning me to keep a safe distance?

I considered that maybe Itachi himself didn't know which was the right choice, and for sure, this drove him crazy.

Itachi had always been the perfect man - the ever composed one, who always had answers to everything, whose voice never faltered, and who was always capable of seeing the bigger picture before anyone else. Itachi had always prided himself in being able to anticipate things easily.

However, because of me – _with_ me - he had gone blind, his sense of direction ruined. It was my fault that his feelings were overpowering his intelligence; his immaculate analytic ability throwing rationality out the window to give room to impulse and emotion. For someone like him, always so calculating, this was a blow to his ego and a shock, and I could only imagine how it must feel for him.

For some reason, knowing that I was the cause gave me a strange sense of fulfillment. I should've known, though; he'd always been different when it came to me – honest, open, vulnerable, gentle and intimate.

I bit down on my lower lip, trying to ignore my forming hard on. It was strange, being suddenly so aware of him when I had spent so much time avoiding this type of shrewd observations of him on my part.

This was all so new; I felt like a whole different world was unraveling before my eyes, and with it, a whole new me that was, apparently, very much interested in throwing myself to this bottomless pit of wonders that was the beginning of my forbidden relationship with my brother.

This was all Naruto's fault, I thought. He was the one who made me want to explore everything about myself.

"You don't think I can handle you, or your demands?" I asked after a while, my voice a little too husky. Maybe it was a good thing that we hadn't showered together after all. "I know when to say 'no', Itachi, and act on it, too."

"I know you do," Itachi confirmed. "The problem is, I know you won't. You'll be dragged by the current, Sasuke."

"Huh," I muttered. I couldn't help but smirk a bit. "What makes you think _I_ won't be the one to drag _you_?"

Itachi made a thoughtful, yet strangely pleased sound. "If anyone could, that person would be you," he agreed. "For both our sakes, I hope you do."

000

It was Itachi's suggestion that we went out for a walk, and I was grateful for the chance to catch some much needed air and blow off some steam.

Since neither of us was in the mood for finishing lunch, as soon as we were done washing up and gotten dressed, Itachi and I cleaned up the kitchen together. Itachi mentioned that a few blocks away lived a family of stray cats that he usually fed, so we packed the leftovers of the rice and fish in a box and bagged it.

Quietly, he passed the last dish to me and I dried it with a cloth before putting it back inside the cabinet. Next to me, Itachi was wiping his hands dry with his own kitchen cloth.

I was scrubbing the counter with a sponge when felt the touch of fingers behind my ear before a full hand curled around the skin at the back of my neck. My heartbeat skyrocketed as I turned my head to the side to find my brother's eyes, soft but filled with unspoken words I understood well. There was a slight pressure then, as he wordlessly pulled me to him, and I all but allowed it, exhaling gently when I saw him leaning down. Tilting my head upwards, I parted my lips, only to feel the touch of his, as he willingly kissed me.

It wasn't light or experimental like the first one. Itachi's tongue touched mine slowly at once, confidently sliding against it before our mouths joined fully, causing my chest to burn with feeling. Dropping the sponge, I turned to him completely then, feeling Itachi coming closer still, and I all but put my arms around his neck, which was oddly new because he was taller than me and I had to get on tiptoes a bit. As his other arm came around my waist, I felt him smirking against me, but I made sure to erase that fucking cockiness by deepening the kiss and pulling him closer. I was the one feeling cocky when he released a low, appreciative moan.

Itachi's low, sensuous moans were something my body would take a while to get used to.

The kiss was slippery and fast paced while we hugged each other tightly, chests joined together. It had been so long since we had hugged like this, maybe years. Yes, he had hugged me when I got there, but this was on a different level - neither strained, nor hesitant, nor wondering.

Even though we had only kissed that one time, not even two hours before, this time there was only the feeling and rawness - the freedom that came with intentional, willing intimacy - and I was overcome with relief for some reason.

There was something very new still, very innocent, yet filled with longing, and once again, I felt both powerful and powerless before it. It wasn't a sense of estrangement at all, quite the opposite - like something I had found that I'd been looking for without realizing it.

It should be more complicated than this, I absently thought, daring my fingers to clench around the fabric of his sweater.

But it wasn't.

Itachi kissed knowingly, but with an abandon that made my head feel dizzy and caused my body to quiver. I could feel his muscles going hard against me, his hand clenching around the back of my neck, the way his breathing had quickened, and how the inside of his mouth had so much taste, so much ideal fluidity just… _so much_.

It felt like burning, yet I was content to be turned to ashes by his hand.

With a loud suction noise, Itachi broke the kiss. "My Sasuke…" he whispered, planting a small, chaste peck to the corner of my mouth. Sighing, I couldn't find the strength to reply, so I merely nuzzled my cheek against his slowly, eyes still closed, savoring the moment.

Being with Itachi like this was both foreign and heart wrenchingly familiar. His scent was the same, his warmth, the silkiness of his hair, his loving demeanor - everything brought me back to times when we had been younger and I had been so innocently needy, always seeking out my big brother's approval, constantly longing for his affection.

Back then, I didn't hesitate to reach out to touch him, to hug him, to sneak into his room in the middle of the night so I could snuggle against his back under the covers. I'd always bury my face in his shoulder blades and put an arm around his torso. Sometimes he would turn to me and pull me to his chest before tucking me in. Sometimes I'd fall asleep feeling the touch of his lips pressed to the top of my head.

He had seemed so tall back then, so much older and mature, and I had always felt safe with him without even understanding why.

Those had been quiet, content times. How things changed. How fascinating it was that I could remember it all so vividly.

As I hugged Itachi in that quiet kitchen, our hearts pounding together, I could still feel that brotherly love from back then, from both of us, and yet, the familiar comfort came hand in hand with the newfound tension of lust. We weren't children anymore, and that embrace had been initiated with the purpose of closing some sort of distance, bringing the reassurance and comfort of nostalgia, but also reminding the both of us where we stood then, as opposed to where we were before.

Things would never be the same again, and I became cruelly aware of it in that precise moment. It was both exciting and frightening beyond reason.

Itachi's words resonated in my mind and I wondered if they were true. Had Itachi always thought of me as his? Because everything he did had always expressed devotion and demand.

Had I always considered myself as such without acknowledging it?

I didn't know. These questions were far too complicated for now. It was already hard enough trying to grasp this, and there was still so much we needed to work on, to understand, in order to reach someplace where we could fix it, together or apart.

"You're obsessed with me, aren't you?" I whispered, momentarily burying my face in his shoulder.

"When did you figure that out?" Itachi muttered sarcastically before pulling away slightly to look at me. I looked up at him. There was a small smile on his lips that I couldn't read. He leaned in to plant a kiss on my forehead. "Let's get going, I want to enjoy the outdoors while it's still daytime."

000

As sunny as the afternoon was, outside it was cold.

While I put on my dark brown jacket, and black scarf, Itachi had put on an elegant and long dark blue coat over a grey turtleneck sweater and some black-leathered gloves. He looked nice, casual, but well put together - still a sight for sore eyes. He put on some expensive sunglasses and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Did he really think he was going to go unnoticed that way?

Well, I knew he didn't, but maybe it was just a force of habit.

Side by side, we walked for a bit, exchanging a few casual words about mundane things. It felt good to walk those busy, noisy streets filled with color and light. People of all kinds passed us by - something that never ceased to fascinate me.

I was reminded of my first time in Tokyo with Itachi and how I had been so completely enamored and amazed by that hectic city life. Back then, I hadn't been sure about what to do with my future yet, but I knew I wanted to move there with Itachi, without depending on him. Itachi used to tell me he'd come for me as soon as he could - I had been the one bent on not being a burden to him because I was already filled with admiration for his guts. He accomplished so much all by himself.

Of course, if it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to become a model in the first place. Itachi had given me the liberty to do with my career what I wanted without much interference, so I was responsible for my own growth, and I allowed myself to forget that I owed him that.

I still dreamt of Tokyo, but I didn't know what the future looked like. I knew I had a place for myself at Itachi's apartment, the question was: did I want that? Or, more precisely, was that the wisest move?

As Itachi had said, a few blocks away from ours, there was a dark alley where a family of stray cats seemed to live; a mother and her four kittens, all of them a mix of black with white scattered spots. There was a large black plastic box strategically placed against the building, right under the exterior emergency stairs, to protect them from the rain I presumed. Itachi had purchased the box himself, he had said.

It was funny to see that, as soon as Itachi's steps echoed in the alley, the mother's head peeked from the box, yellow eyes finding my brother instantly - they were familiar with him already.

The mother came out first, then the four kittens. All of them headed towards Itachi, meowing slightly and randomly surrounding him. I found myself smiling as I removed the lid from the box of leftovers that we had brought. Crouching down, I set the box down on the pavement. The family of strays eyed me suspiciously, but as Itachi came to crouch down beside me, they approached the box. The mother sniffed the contents first before her small tongue appeared to have a taste of the rice. She then backed away and the lively kittens gathered to eat.

The mother approached Itachi and rubbed her body on his leg briefly. With the tips of his fingers, he scratched the back of her ear.

"It's very you to do something like this," I commented, as we both straightened up. I looked at him. "You were always kinder than me."

"I am not kinder than you, we simply show our kindness differently," he said lightly, shoving his hands inside his pockets. "I thought of taking her in when she was pregnant, but the truth is I don't have time to be a good caretaker, least of all with all the kittens."

"You can't just take in every stray that crosses your path," I pointed out.

"For now," he said, with a lopsided smirk. "Is there any particular place you want to go, something you want to do?"

"Not really, I'm happy just walking wherever," I replied, with a shrug of my shoulders.

He nodded thoughtfully, his eyes looking back down at the kittens around the box of food. "I feel like having something sweet," he confessed, randomly.

My eyebrows rose at that. "How long has it been since you last had something sweet?"

"With all the physical preparation I've been doing for the movie, too long," he said, with an exaggerated sigh.

"I would feel sorry for you if only I enjoyed sweets," I said, sarcastically.

It was Itachi's turn to roll his eyes. Then, he smiled at me and offered me his elbow. "Shall we, then?"

I eyed him, understanding the silent gesture. This wasn't usual between us, had never been, and it was somehow a bit embarrassing. However, Itachi had never been the one to shy away from public affection between us - it had always been me - and maybe it was time that I stopped being a stupid kid and lived my life the way I wanted to.

Plus, I would not deny us the proximity, not now that things were so new and fragile.

With a nod, I linked my arm around his. Our sides glued together, we waved our goodbyes to the family of strays and exited the alley.

000

Itachi knew of a nice coffee shop about fifteen minutes away from the alley, so we calmly made our way there with our arms always linked, casually strolling through the busy streets as the sun began to set.

It felt strangely nostalgic, even if I did feel a little self-conscious when people gazed our way. I know we weren't doing anything special, just walking arm in arm, but Itachi and I were very much alike physically, so there was no way that we wouldn't be perceived as brothers by strangers. Maybe people were looking simply because Itachi was a celebrity – even with his sunglasses on, he stood out impressively and I didn't know whether to feel proud or uncomfortable.

What felt like centuries ago, Itachi and I had walked those streets side by side like this, just enjoying each other's company and talking about mundane things, and I remember feeling so happy and lighthearted spending time with him, so fulfilled that it was almost as if nothing could possibly ruin it.

I hadn't been self-conscious then, because what made me the happiest in this life was having Itachi by my side.

I looked up at Itachi's profile then, a sudden thought crossing my mind. How much had I changed, I wondered, form then to now? I used to be so clingy, so open with him, only to suddenly start putting up walls between us.

Itachi didn't look back at me, his expression neutral, almost calm, but there was a rigidness to him that I couldn't grasp – one that hadn't left him even after he'd said all those things to me, even after we had kissed and been intimate.

For some reason, it felt as if he was angry at me and trying to conceal it. No, not conceal it; rather, he was waiting for me to notice it.

I wasn't used to this type of Itachi – the one that closed himself off like this while pretending to act natural. He had always been honest with me, open, almost recklessly so. Itachi had always had a sense of humor and a polite, yet joyful way to see life and to deal with me. No matter how many times I pushed him away, he always had a kind response and the right course of action.

It wasn't exactly different now, yet it was.

It had never occurred to me that Itachi could be upset. Well, of course he was upset - so was I - but this was on a sort of level I couldn't quite comprehend.

"It's been a while since we last went out together like this," Itachi commented, calmly, as if reading my thoughts.

"Yeah," I agreed, still looking at him.

"The last time you were in Tokyo, Naruto was here with you." Itachi's tone was conversational, yet for some reason I detected a little something underneath it that hadn't been there before.

"Hum," I muttered. "That was a nice weekend."

Itachi's expression didn't change, but he took a while to reply. "I'm glad you think so."

Those words, I noticed, were carefully chosen to cause an impact - a silent way of letting me know something wasn't right at all. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, frowning.

"Have you spoken to him yet since you got here?" Itachi inquired, easily intercepting my question. "Naruto, I mean."

"No." My eyes narrowed at him before I turned my face away to look at the path ahead. "I only texted mom to let her know I got home safely."

Again, Itachi paused for a few seconds. "Isn't he going to get worried?"

"I'll text him later."

"He _is_ your boyfriend," Itachi pressed on, his tone neutral, but firm in a stubbornness I couldn't evade. "You don't have to pretend that he doesn't exist just because you're here with me."

I couldn't help but wonder if he was genuinely worried about Naruto's feelings, or if he was merely being his perfect self, always being considerate of others, even in matters that didn't concern him.

It kind of bothered me. Not because I wasn't mindful of Naruto, but because I needed my own time to process all of this, and I needed my own composure to talk to him. I didn't want to mix things and maybe say something inappropriate to Naruto when I was still so hot-headed, so on edge.

"It's not that," I said, my arm tightening around his as a cold breeze brushed our bodies. "I just don't know how to talk to him after what happened between you and me."

Itachi did look at me then. "You feel guilty?"

"Not guilty, no," I denied, honestly. "He knows I came here to settle things with the person I like. He was sure that I would get involved with the person, too. I just don't know what I want to tell him about that, yet."

"You don't have to say anything, Sasuke, at least for now."

"I know, but eventually I will have to tell him _something_ ," I retorted, lowly. "I wouldn't feel right if I didn't; he doesn't deserve that."

Itachi made a small sound with the back of his throat, and when I looked back at him, I saw that he was smiling slightly. "What?"

"You are such a genuine person," he said, shaking his head from side to side. "You've always been honest to a fault, even impulsively so. I find that very fascinating about you."

Maybe it had been the way he said it - gently, almost condescendingly fond - that made my heart skip a pleasant beat. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed so fucking handsome in the sunset colors.

"You don't need to flatter me to get inside my pants you know," I let out, without really thinking. His eyebrows rose behind the rim of the sunglasses and I felt my cheeks burn.

"Can't I just flatter you without ulterior motives?" Itachi asked, in a falsely naïve way.

"I'd rather you had them, to be honest." What the fuck was wrong with me? I thought, as I cleared my throat at his unimpressed look and looked away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be that straightforward."

"Your straightforwardness makes you frustrated about my own lack of it," Itachi commented, perceptively. "It's not that I don't want to be straightforward, it's just that I think I've been so enough for one day, especially in _that_ field."

My mind was instantly filled with memories of our interlude on the sofa and I had to slap myself mentally to get my shit together.

"You're scared of me," I pointed out, carefully.

"I am scared of what you do to me," Itachi corrected, his voice becoming serious once more.

"Should I feel triumphant that I'm capable of ruining the great Uchiha Itachi, then?"

"If it inflates your ego, I don't see why not." Itachi seemed to become thoughtful, his body tensing for a moment before relaxing again. "You know me well, yet not well enough, it seems. We're here."

He came to a halt and I stumbled a bit, not expecting it. He had the nerve to smirk down at me as he helped me keep my balance, which caused me to make a face at him.

Only then did I notice that we were in front of a small coffee shop. Itachi placed a gloved hand on the glass door.

"Itachi," I interrupted, before he could move further. "Are you mad at me? Did I take things too far, too soon?"

Itachi seemed genuinely surprised by my question. " _I_ took things too far; you were just a pawn to your own impulses," he ended up saying, dismissively. "Come, let's not talk about this here."

Without allowing me to speak further, he pushed the door open and pulled me inside behind him.

The coffee shop Itachi had chosen was small, but nice. I could tell it had recently opened since everything was new, beautifully decorated in polished dark wood with shiny golden chairs and small round tables, real flowers adorning the counter under which one could see a magnificent and organized display of cakes of every kind on one side, several savory delicacies on the other. It almost felt like something seen in movies; European styled, almost romantically so.

I almost scoffed. This was very Itachi, too, I thought. He certainly had a taste for beautiful and nice things, and fortunately, the money to afford them.

We were immediately greeted by the smiling middle aged man behind the counter who was dressed in a pristine white shirt under a pitch black apron.

Despite myself, I felt the need to create some sort of distance from Itachi now that we were in a closed space, so I removed my arm from his. If this affected him, he didn't show it.

"Uchiha-san, welcome!" The man greeted, bowing politely, his slightly curly grey hair perfectly combed back, his curly moustache a healthy sight.

"Aragaki-san, good afternoon," Itachi greeted back, removing his sunglasses and bowing as well with his usual elegance. He gestured with a hand towards me. "May I introduce you to my younger brother, Uchiha Sasuke. He'll be spending Christmas with me."

"Oh, it must be wonderful to have family around for such a joyous occasion!" the man said, sounding genuinely glad. "You never bring company, Uchiha-san; you must be very happy."

"Indeed" Itachi confirmed, eyeing me from the corner of his eyes with a small smile. I could only swallow hard, a distinct, unpleasant feeling making my stomach churn.

"Nice to meet you, Aragaki-san," I muttered, tilting my head respectfully, for some reason feeling awkward.

"Likewise," the man said. "So, what can I get you fine gentlemen?"

"I'll have the usual coffee, and…" Itachi leaned over to observe the showcase. "The lemon cake, please."

"And the younger patron?"

I checked the showcase as well, my eyes landing on the savory side of it as I quickly read some of the names of the pastries there. "I'll have that spinach one, and the same coffee Itachi is having, please."

"Wonderful!" Aragaki-san said, his smile broadening. "Please, do sit down and I'll bring your order to you in a minute.

"Thank you," Itachi said. I felt his hand landing casually at the small of my back as he leaned slightly over my shoulder. "Where do you want to sit?"

The place wasn't big at all, and most of the tables were already taken. I noticed that two women at the far corner on the right were openly looking at us and muttering amongst themselves excitedly. There was a girl about my age sitting alone, too, and she seemed to be checking us out, her eyes peeking from above the open book she had in front of her face. Only an old man reading his newspaper didn't seem to mind us.

I wondered if Itachi was recognized.

If I had a choice, I'd prefer a quiet, private place, but the ones that could be considered as such were taken. "Let's sit over there," I said, gesturing towards the two person table in front of the show window.

"I come here for coffee almost every day," Itachi confided, removing his gloves as we sat down. "It's the first time I'm bringing company, though."

"Is that supposed to make me feel special?" I retorted sarcastically, mentally slapping myself afterwards.

Why did i have this need to be such a cocky ass sometimes? I wanted so much to close the breach between Itachi and I, but all I seemed to be doing was pushing his buttons and sounding either arrogant or needy. I suppose months of trying to evade him had stuck to me, but I knew I would have to work on that - Itachi already saw me as child as it was.

It felt stupid to be both confident and embarrassed at the same time around him, but these were things that went beyond my comprehension. It wasn't that I felt uncomfortable per se with our exchanges, I just didn't know how to deal with myself in the most unexpected times nor with the way I felt with a few things regarding Itachi.

To a certain extent, I understood Itachi's feelings.

Aragaki-san had been happy to see that my brother had brought company with him, so it was a given that Itachi had always come by himself, he didn't have to explain that to me.

But maybe he wanted me to know that he was, indeed, always alone - him, who knew so many people yet seemed to have no attachments.

Had I truly not known him at all?

The corner of Itachi's lip quirked upwards a bit in a ghost of a smile, before disappearing. "I'm sorry if I seem distant sometimes, Sasuke," he started, neatly placing his gloves on the table, one above the other. "I need my mind to stay in tune with my body; I need to be able to take control of my emotions and at this point there is too much I'm trying to work with."

"Why?" I removed my own scarf and folded it to then place it over my lap, just to have something to do with my hands. "Even if you've always been that way, when things change you should be able to adapt. You always were the most adaptable person I know."

"As I said, I don't know," he admitted with an elegant shrug of his shoulders, crossing his arms over the table. He seemed to eye me in an almost curious fashion. "I thought I knew myself well, but when it comes to you, it seems that all I know is that I have this unforgiving love that sees no boundaries and has no end. Like and infinite landscape. Suddenly, I can't see the other side, even though before I always could."

I swallowed hard; a bit unsure of how to take that. Even if Itachi was speaking in a discreet way that only I could hear, I still took a slightly self-conscious look around to check if anyone was eavesdropping, but the few customers didn't seem to be paying attention to our conversation. "It sounds a bit frightening," I said, not helping the guilty feeling that assaulted me.

Itachi was acting as nonchalantly natural as he possibly could around me, and there I was, being slightly paranoid, which made me painfully aware, once again, of the breach between our levels of maturity.

"It's terrifying," he agreed, and the morose tone he chose was a strong giveaway that he had noticed my uneasiness. "I'm scared to do something that will make you hate me."

I shook my head from side to side. "That's not possible, Itachi," I ended up saying, firmly.

Straightening my back, I forced myself to relax. This was the big difference between Naruto and Itachi I considered. With Naruto, it was okay to do things and say things in public - we were the same age and obviously not related. With Itachi, certain things felt heavy and dangerous because people only had to look at us closely to see obvious, uncanny resemblances.

It all seemed too different, one side so simple, and the other so complicated and yet, it was all in my mind. I realized then that Itachi had chosen to bring me outside to see how I would react, what I would do. He wanted to talk about us, one way or another, and he would do so in a public space.

A part of me felt annoyed at his nerve, at his easy ability to be cunning like this.

However, I couldn't help but be amazed by it, too.

It was a test, all of it, a test for me, of my feelings for him. I didn't know if he was trying to expose the differences between us or if he genuinely wanted to see how _I_ was working around our relationship as more than just brothers.

For some reason, this riled me up. I didn't know what it was that made this little mind game so fascinating, but it only fueled my drive to prove all of his assumptions wrong.

I had to undo the first few buttons of my jacket to compose myself. I was determined to not let him have the leverage - I was fucking strong and I could take him down, too. _I would_.

Maybe that was what he wanted.

Itachi didn't smile, but his expression was attentive, intently evaluating me. "I didn't peg you for a hopeless romantic," he chose to tease.

"Shut up" I grunted, through gritted teeth.

For a while Itachi merely looked at me, nothing special on his features but intense contemplation. Having him looking at me like that did weird things to me. I shifted a bit in my seat.

"Does this new situation between us make you happy?" He eventually asked, seemingly casual.

God, that coffee shop was hot. I put one elbow on the table and supported my chin on a hand, my eyes leaving him to look out the window because I felt stupidly embarrassed that his attention on me was such an unexpected turn on. "I'm in love with you, stupid," I mumbled, my mouth buried in my palm. "What do you think?"

"Here it is gentlemen!"

Aragaki-san arrived at our table carrying a tray with our order. Expertly, he set everything down in front of us with well-mannered actions.

"Thank you, Aragaki-san," Itachi said, politely.

"Enjoy!" the other man said joyfully, with another bow, before retreating.

I looked down at the food presented, grateful that we had something to distract ourselves with.

The dark coffee came in a beautiful white porcelain cup, the scent of it strong and strangely comforting. Picking the warm cup up, I took a small sip. It was unlike any other coffee I'd had so far, refined in its complexity and expensive, I was sure. "This is really good," I praised softly.

"I'm glad you enjoy it," Itachi said. I noticed that he had already taken a bit of cake with his small, shiny fork and started to eat, releasing a small, pleased sound with the back of his throat.

I smirked. "You happy with that?"

"Hum, very," he said, swallowing, "Do you want to try it?"

"Sure" I accepted, more to be receptive than because I had any interest in it since I've never been a fan of sweets.

There was a generous bit of cream-filled cake on the fork as Itachi extended it to me in a way that offered an open choice between being fed or simply grabbing the fork and eating it myself. I rolled my eyes at him before grabbing his wrist to steady it and engulfing of the whole portion given to me. As Itachi's hand and fork slowly retreated, I allowed my own fingers to release his wrist to surreptitiously brush the skin of his fingers. From the way one of Itachi's eyebrows did a small quirk upwards, he noticed it.

"Too sweet" I complained, around a mouthful of cake.

Itachi's other hand reached out then, and I felt his thumb gently brushing the corner of my mouth. As I chewed, I watched him remove the finger, noticing there was cream on it. With his eyes placidly on mine, he brought the digit to his mouth to lick the cream off.

"That's a bit cliché, no?" I mocked, even as my throat ran a bit dry.

"It works, though, doesn't it?" He countered knowingly, with a small smirk.

It did. The sight was quite pleasing, not because there had been any particularly sensual intent behind it, but because Itachi had done it on purpose, knowing it would affect me.

"Have you no shame?" I whispered.

His smile turned mischievous. "Only to a certain extent."

I huffed at him and promptly took another sip of the coffee to wash the sweetness of the cake out of my mouth. Itachi mimicked me, sipping on the beverage soundlessly.

"So, do you know what you want to do once you graduate? Have you thought it over already?" he asked, back to his conversational way.

"l know I want to move here," I muttered, shrugging my shoulders. "I have enough money saved to pay for Acting School, but I'll definitely need to find a steady job to pay for housing and such."

"I thought we'd already agreed that you'd stay with me," Itachi said, frowning. "My apartment is paid for, it's ridiculous that you'd go waste money somewhere else."

"Even if I do stay with you, I still need money to pay for the rest of the expenses."

"Sasuke…"

"This is not up for debate." My voice had been assertive as I picked up my cutlery using the fork and knife to cut the pastry I had ordered. "I told you a million times already I want to do my own thing."

"I'm your older brother," Itachi defended. "You could at least let me…"

"We're done talking about this, Itachi."

Silence settled between us. I looked at him as I brought a piece of pastry to my mouth, concluding that, indeed, it was a lot tastier than the cake.

Itachi exhaled through his nose. "I don't know whether to feel angry or proud of your determination."

"You're allowed to feel both" I half-joked. "I don't care what you think about it as long as I do things my way, not yours."

"Fine" Itachi conceded, resuming eating his cake. "What else?"

"I don't know, I'll probably put myself on the market for more modeling projects and try my thing at acting. Later, I'd like to go to college for something else, but I haven't decided on what I want to pursue there." I looked up at him, genuinely curious. "Have _you_ ever considered studying further?"

"Sometimes I do consider it, but I'm always too busy and enjoying things as they are far too much" he explained, setting his cutlery down, again, his actions not making a single noise. "I might consider it when I feel the need for some peace so I can spend long evenings reading."

I chuckled a bit at that. "Studying is your idea of peace? What would you study, medicine? Politics? Something related to science?"

"Something interesting of the sort, yes."

Itachi's gaze absently looked out the show window, towards the sky that had started getting darker by the minute – it would be night soon. With slender fingers, he tucked a strand of silky hair that had gotten free from his loose ponytail and had been framing his face.

I found it difficult to swallow my food. Why the hell didn't he ever tie his hair properly? Was it a sort of rebellion against himself, as in, he'd let his hair become messy as a contrast to his always perfect stance and overall appearance? That sounded like something he would do, I concluded.

There was something mesmerizing about my brother, and while I could name a million things, none of them were visible to the naked eye. Itachi is an outstandingly attractive man, and anyone who exchanges a few words with him can understand that he is impeccably well-mannered and highly intelligent. Even from an objective point of view, it would only take a couple of minutes for anyone to be aware of this.

"You were always like this," I mumbled, feeling my voice becoming weak. "A perfectionist, but all the while so carefree. You just slipped through school so easily, learned skills and such as if they came naturally to you. I was always envious of that."

The look he gave me was one of slight hurt on my behalf, as if knowing he had caused some sort of negative feeling in me pained him. It wasn't an expression I liked to see on him because it hurt me too. "Just because I'm a fast learner doesn't mean I don't put my heart into things, Sasuke."

"I know" I assured him. "You practiced shit a hundred times if you had to until you could do it flawlessly. Even with the piano, I remember always thinking you sounded like a pro, but you kept saying it sounded horrible, so you practiced for hours until your fingers were swollen."

Unexpectedly, Itachi looked away from me again, a bitter smirk on his lips. "It sounds unhealthy when you mention it like that."

"Maybe, but it always amazed me."

The air became oddly heavy after this, his doing I was sure. Itachi had this ability to make everything around him come to life with whichever emotion he was feeling or whatever thought he was having, even if, physically, he didn't show it.

However this time - both to my fear and relief - his body language had allowed itself to be an open book as he looked back at me, the intensity in his gaze showing a turmoil of emotions that I knew I would be privy to soon, and it probably wouldn't be pleasant.

On the fingers of one hand I could count the number of times I had seen my brother genuinely upset or angry. In the past, we had ranted and bickered as children, but during those small fights, his outbursts had been meaningless and not even heartfelt.

Now that I thought about it, I honestly didn't know what seriously angry, or genuinely sad Itachi looked like, and the thought was beyond intimidating.

"Sasuke" I found myself jumping slightly in my seat as he said my name and I knew nothing good could be coming from the way he said it. "Did you really start dating Naruto so you could forget about me?"

If my throat had been dried before, it turned into a desert at his question. This was clearly something he'd been thinking about for a while.

"I have no reason to lie to you, I already told you, yes," I replied, setting down my own cutlery because I had the feeling that I wouldn't be able to eat another bite. "And I didn't want to forget about you, I just wanted to forget how I _felt_ about you. I thought that maybe if I could fall in love with someone else it could happen. I was that desperate."

"I hope you realize how childish that was," Itachi berated, unexpectedly, as if scolding me, and there was an underlying coldness there that I wasn't used to. "Even if I can understand where you were coming from, that's not the way to handle something like this."

"You don't understand how I felt. "I defended. "I…"

"I do," Itachi interrupted, straightening his posture. "You were angry, mostly at yourself, but at me, too. You were scared and didn't know what to do, so you decided to rebel against the feeling rather than trying to work it out with _me_."

My eyebrows rose. " _With you_?" I grunted, disbelievingly. "How? Just randomly coming up to you and saying 'hey, sorry to bother you but I might be in love with you and it's kind of a pain in the ass but at least I'm being honest'?"

I realized that my affront had probably made me speak a little too loudly, so I clenched my teeth.

Itachi seemed completely uninterested in the fact that we might be heard. "Maybe then we wouldn't be in this mess right now" he said.

"You said you never considered your feelings for me to that extent," I reminded him, being careful to keep my voice down even though I felt agitated. "I was scared you might be disgusted with me, that you'd move further away from me."

" _You_ moved away from _me,_ " Itachi said, eyes lighting up in a reprimanding, oddly wounded way. "When have I ever judged you? Not once have I ever not supported or indulged you, Sasuke. Even if I didn't feel this way about you, I would never push you away or do anything to hurt you or make you feel bad about yourself. I expected you to _know_ that."

Again, guilt hit me because I knew he was right, but back then, I had been so scared, so all over the place that I couldn't even think of Itachi as my brother - the person who had always accepted me as I was - and saw him only as an alluring presence who made me dirty and that was dangerous to my mental health.

I wanted to tell him this, yet I didn't want to hurt him - Itachi had always done everything so our relationship wouldn't fall apart, he didn't deserve me telling him that I had thought of him as something so beautiful, yet rotten.

"You're angry at me because I didn't sort things out with you?" I inquired through gritted teeth instead.

"I would've been there for you no matter what," Itachi insisted. "Instead of remembering that, you let your own anger allow you to push me away."

That was painfully true. I had never noticed the unfolding of my own actions, or how, progressively, my behavior had changed. I never considered Itachi's side, nor how he would be affected.

And I was suddenly angry at myself for not noticing.

"I felt like, if I pushed you away, I didn't have to deal with your smoldering me all the time and maybe I could stop feeling that way!" I quickly tried to rationalize my feelings at the time so I could give him an explanation that seemed plausible, but my own words sounded childish even to me.

"Of course." Itachi's reaction was a soft, almost snobbish snort in his ever polite ways. "So, you remembered that I loved you enough to smolder you, but not that I loved you enough to feel your rejection, your changes?"

Damn it, he was ruthless and I didn't know if this side of him was something I loved or detested, but the latter was surely a feeling caused by my own displeasure at being attacked in such an unmerciful way.

"I never rejected you, I still wanted you as my brother and my friend, but I just…"

" _Why_ did you bring Naruto to Tokyo?" This time, Itachi's question was uttered slowly, emphatically. "Were you trying to flaunt your relationship, or were you scared to be alone with me? Or maybe you were trying to convey some sort of message to me, defiant as you were?"

Again, things I hadn't considered. I felt hopelessly uncomfortable then, as I fought to keep eye contact with Itachi. What _had_ I been doing?

Kissing Naruto in front of him, flirting, all the while treating Itachi like shit, as if he somehow owed me something. Thinking back on it, I behaved as if Itachi deserved to watch us. I had been trying to make a statement, more to myself than to him, but a part of me…

A part of me had, unconsciously, wanted to piss him off.

Had I been intent on hurting him, somehow? Doing things to push him away so he could see I had someone else to focus on?

Was that what Itachi had seen, me being a brat? Had he felt that I had been trying to hurt him?

Protectively, I crossed my arms over my chest.

What had I been doing that not once did I consider my brother's feelings? My beloved brother who, despite my anguish, I had still been afraid to lose.

Right then and there, I understood that I had been completely lost, even if I thought I knew what I was doing. I still had no idea what to do with Itachi close, so I had behaved like that.

"I don't know," I whispered, honestly, feeling pained at my own behavior. "It made me feel safe, having Naruto with us. Being physical with him in front of you allowed me to have control over my emotions, to… feel like I was reaching something. It was easier being normal towards you with him around."

"You think that was 'normal'" Itachi muttered, less aggressively now, perceptive to my change of demeanor. "The way you behaved, the things you said to me, how you consistently defied me. You couldn't see yourself at all, could you?"

"I had no way of knowing your feelings."

"You never did, you still don't know them, Sasuke, and maybe you never truly will."

The pain I felt in my chest at his accusation almost made me gasp, my eyes becoming huge.

That's when I realized that we had hurt each other gravely, both of us unknowingly.

He was right, wasn't he? What did I know? It seemed like regardless of what he said or did, I never took him seriously and I had feared him and mistreated him when all he had done was love me without boundaries.

Itachi was surprisingly cruel (weren't we both?), but I was the biggest fucking fool.

I found that I had no words - no words to deny his, no words to apologize, and no words to mitigate the effects of what had already been wounded between us.

Itachi released a small, but tired sigh, looking at me with sadness and exasperation in his dark eyes. On his face was an expression that showed he knew he had maybe taken things a little too far.

"I'm not the person you think I am, I keep telling you that," Itachi then said, shaking his head from side to side with a deep frown, his voice even, clear as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "There was always more to it when I asked you to be with me, here, in Tokyo. I don't intend to get married or have children. I purchased my apartment thinking of you, because I always wanted you, one way or another. Even before this, my whole life was planned meticulously thinking about how my path could affect yours, how my accomplishments could work to make you happier, more fulfilled, successful. I thought that much was crystal clear to you, Sasuke."

"It was," I confirmed, barely audibly. "But I was too terrified to see it, and too selfish to look beyond my own anxiety towards my feelings for you."

Licking at his lips in contemplation, Itachi's eyes softened at me. "What kind of person do I look like to you, Sasuke?"

Obsessed. Lonely. Self-centered. Selfless. Loving, yet oddly detached from a world that didn't matter to him – a world without me.

There was no measuring his feelings, and I knew I only understood this up to a certain point.

I sunk into my chair, chewing on my lower lip, my arms tightening around myself. "A person who loves me unconditionally to an almost sickening extent," I said, carefully.

Even as I said this, the concept was so overwhelming I knew I couldn't grasp it even if I tried.

Itachi sighed again.

"Yet, you say you are in love with me." He picked up his cup of coffee, looking at it as if it held all the answers in the world. "What type of love is it, then? Because you can't claim to love me when your love is this inconsiderate and unmindful of me."

Had my type of love been inconsiderate? Had I been inconsiderate, cruel to him without knowing?

As Itachi brought the cup of coffee to his lips I allowed myself a few seconds to think it over.

No, I had known, one way or another, that I wanted to hurt him, to make him react; maybe even to awaken something in him, as it did.

It made me feel sadistically pleased.

This also made me realize that perhaps I had been using Naruto, too.

Yes, without a doubt I had been that kind of manipulative bastard.

It was almost funny to think about. Us brothers weren't that different after all.

"I didn't consciously mean to hurt you, but maybe a part of me did," I admitted, feeling remorseful. "I wanted to make you angry, yes, to push you away, but also to make you do something, say something. I wanted you to be jealous because, even if I never thought you'd want me the same way, I did know that your love didn't want to give me away, as you said so yourself at some point."

Itachi made a fine impression of not being surprised. "You wanted to hurt me to see what I would do?"

"I wanted to cause an impact on you, no matter what that could be."

"It worked." Itachi put the cup down, his fingers of both hands caressing the ceramic almost lovingly. He pressed his lips together, evaluating me. "Your love is childish, and demanding, and I don't think you understand the serious consequences of your actions."

"Don't say that," I grunted, in my irritation finding the strength to uncross my arms and put both my hands on the table, creating a new proximity. "What are you trying to say, anyway? That you can't respect my feelings because you're hurt?"

"How do you expect to love me if you're in love with Naruto?" He pressed on, relentlessly. "Blinded or not, unknowing or not, you found it easy to use him to stomp all over me, and you did it without a second thought."

His words made me feel anxious and attacked. _Had_ I used Naruto?

"I already admitted it was because I wanted to spite you," I threw in a hiss, meaningfully venomous.

"Are you really in love with Naruto?"

"Itachi!" I huffed in exasperation.

"Don't lie," he warned.

"Yes!"

" _Why_ are you here then?"

"Because you feel the same way about me and, fuck, how do you expect me to just let go of that?" I threw, annoyed.

"I wonder how long you have been testing me," Itachi suddenly said, making a strange face that seemed both impressed and disheartened. "I think I see now that you were doing so all along."

"What are you talking about?"

Itachi paused, and for a moment there, he looked up at the ceiling and seemed genuinely at a loss, as if trying to catch his train of thought but finding that it had slipped away from him. "This is all thoroughly messed up."

He said as if it wasn't obvious already, and I found myself relaxing, my muscles loosening as my self-defense mechanism dropped. Releasing a long breath, I resolutely reached out to touch his hand, forcing his fingers to uncurl from around the cup of coffee. Cautiously but confidently I held Itachi's hand in mine, my thumb rubbing over the back of it. Itachi's stoic gaze landed upon our linked hands for a while, its heat subsiding. I wondered if he was happy that I had initiated contact with him on my own, or if he was relieved that I was being so physically open outdoors when, before, I had been so self-conscious. I didn't know why, either, but it just didn't seem to matter anymore.

"Uchiha-fucking-Itachi" I started, more calmly now. "You always know everything. You know me better than anyone else, so you know how I feel about you, and you have _surely_ studied all my actions up to this point. Why are you questioning me now that we got this far? It _is_ fucked up, but you knew it already when you kissed me."

"I wanted to hear you say it," he said, evenly. "I thought I knew you, yet you proved to me that your type of love is one who hurts the other party out of selfishness, sadistic pleasure, even."

"You paid me back with interest when you decided to say weird things and do what you did on that rooftop," I reminded him, slowly intertwining our fingers together, and through it all, he allowed it, his own hand responding to mine. "You drove me insane with confusion, hope. You decided to reach out on your own, and you weren't very mindful of my own mental well-being, of my relationship with Naruto or the respect that I had for him. You just sneakily slipped inside so I couldn't let go and you did it on purpose."

Fascinated, I watched the subtle display of emotions on my brother's face at my own, less violent accusations.

I allowed myself to smile, a provocative tone prominent in my low voice. "Has it ever crossed your mind that you could hurt me, too? That this kindness hidden behind these ruthless ways of yours could break me easily because I want you that much?"

When Itachi's perfect lips curved in a knowing smile, I found that I wasn't surprised. "Do you realize just how twisted we are, Sasuke?"

"I think that's actually what makes it so exciting."

It was. It felt strange to voice things like this, to realize that it had all been a maddening game and it still was, and to wrap my mind around the fact that this kind of possessive behavior from both of us was something I enjoyed.

I was progressively learning how to move around Itachi's traps, and Itachi was learning that I, too, had a few for him.

Itachi gauged me, placidly now, his own fingers slowly sliding against mine in a quiet acceptance - and deliverance - of affection. I watched his features, trying to read them but they had become subtly vague once more. "What is it that you want from this, Sasuke? What are we supposed to do?"

"If I knew, this wouldn't be so damn complicated," I said. "I know I want to be with you, close the distance between us and see how things will go for us while I'm here. I know you think I'm being impulsive and that I'm not thinking straight, but I'm aware that this can either go very well or end up in a very painful way."

"You can't be afraid of either if you're determined about wanting to be with me," Itachi said, fingers now surrounding mine and giving them an emphatical squeeze. "I can at least promise you that I will be with you no matter what, and that in the end, nothing will change the way I feel about you."

"I know."

Itachi's eyes rolled down to look at our hands again. "I won't ever ask you to break up with Naruto," he guaranteed. "I respect your feelings for him, and I understand that, at some point, you'll need to work on your own answers regarding him. But, he's like a brother to me, too, and I don't think he should be left in the dark, even if he knows part of what's happening."

I licked at my lips, closing my eyes for a second. I wasn't ready to consider what I wanted to do in regards to Naruto because, truth was, I did care a lot about him in ways I wouldn't have considered just a few months previously, and it wasn't because I was having my chance with Itachi that this was going to change. It was too much of an emotional mess to sort out at the same time.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about him, or how I'm going to tell him about this," I confessed. "We don't even know what's going to happen between you and me."

"So, you're just going to keep him as a backup in case we screw up so you can go back to him?"

Again, my brother was using that tone that was a mixture between condescending and reproachful.

I frowned. "Don't you have your own backup?" I countered. "What would you have me do, Itachi?"

"In a perfect world, I would want you to throw caution to wind and give yourself to me without restraint." Itachi shifted a bit in his seat, both his elbows on the table now as he covered our linked hands with his free one, almost as if protecting the contact, preventing its end. "In _this_ world, I just need you to fully understand that whatever we do has consequences, and that, no matter how much I want this, it will always come with a price, for both of us. The world isn't kind enough on same sex relationships, least of all a relationship between brothers."

"I understand the consequences, and I know there will be a price to pay, but the question here is, do we want this enough to walk through the fire?" I inquired, leaning

over the table conspicuously. "Also, are you ready to open yourself up to me and stop seeing me as your little brother?"

Itachi paused. "I was always ready for you, Sasuke, and realizing it when we kissed was what was so daunting to me," he muttered, easily. "When it comes to _us_ there are moral grounds that I'm stepping on that I don't expect you to understand."

"I understand that you're scared of losing your perfect composure because of me." I noticed that that stubborn strand of dark hair - oddly darker than mine - had already fallen to his face again. My eyes found his again, unfaltering. "You're scared of going too far, of hurting me beyond repair. You're a possessive bastard with fucked up issues to resolve when it comes to me and that twisted shit you're dealing with is making you go crazy because you have no control over your emotions. But you forget I have issues too, so unless we push them away together, we're not getting anywhere."

There was glint in his gaze, then, the ghost of a smirk appearing on his lips again. "And how do you expect we do that? Perhaps it's you who needs to change the way I see you."

"You said I was finally on your level, but apparently not."

"Not on every aspect, no," Itachi confirmed, softly. "I don't want to underestimate you."

When he leaned further in towards me and pulled our hands to him so they were pressed to his lips - unmoving -, I felt my heart flutter, goosebumps making every hair in my body stand. It wasn't exactly a kiss, I noticed, just a kind, loving gesture that could be perceived in any way depending on what one was going for. Still, because of the situation we were in, it felt meaningful, a statement - no, a request.

"Then don't, " I whispered, feeling my voice shaking slightly because that sort of intimacy tended to affect me coming from him. I cleared my throat. "And while you're at it, stop being afraid of yourself. I already told you I can handle you."

"We'll see about that," he said, lips brushing against my middle finger.

There was a moment of silence during which I simply watched his now relaxed features, wondering if this expression of his was another one of his intricate veils, or if he had, somehow, found some sort of hope, of comfort in this whole mess.

Impulsively - instinctively - I reached out with my free hand and tucked the loose strand of his hair behind his ear, purposefully making sure my fingers brushed the earlobe. I then brushed my knuckles over his cheekbone. Itachi's eyes never left mine, unblinking and almost predatory.

"What are you doing?" he asked, voice coming out muffled from how close his mouth was to our joined hands.

"The perks of being your brother, I just realized, is that some stuff probably doesn't look as weird as it should" I replied softly, offering him a meaningful look. "So, I can do whatever the fuck I want, even here."

To my glee, he heaved a sigh, and this time it sounded relieved, close to content even. Openly, he pressed an obvious kiss to my fingers. "I would expect nothing less from you."

I didn't know how to assure him that I was going to give it my all, I didn't know how to apologize, but then again, neither did he. We could talk to each other all we wanted, but in the end, words would always be just words between us, even if they felt comforting to hear.

In the end, Itachi was a man of actions, and I would have to become one, as well, if I wanted to keep up, otherwise, for my sake – and probably his – he would be the one to push _**me**_ away.

Right now, the only comforting thing we had was each other and the certainty that at least our feelings were there, conflicting and all over the place as they were.

I noticed that I had never had time, or the courage, to want to strip down all those layers that composed Itachi's persona. Because he had always been open, reachable to me, I had never felt the need to, arrogantly thinking that I knew enough, selfishly content with the thought that I had it all already, that there was nothing else.

Now, against all the odds, I found that I had much to learn, and I had been hopelessly naïve. There were sides of Itachi I still didn't know at all, and our relationship from now on would reflect that, or so I hoped.

I couldn't deny that I was curious about him in ways I hadn't been before. More than the infatuation I had for him and the love that bound us as brothers and individuals, there was something else underlying that, an uncontrollable itch that drove me to dig deeper, and it was new, intimidating, even, but also too strong to ignore.

Now I had to make sure that he became curious of me as well, and that he itched just as much.

Itachi didn't do things half-heartedly. Even if he said he was impulsive, even if he lost his shit, every action he took and every word he said had a meaning, and purpose – a means to an end – so I knew my brother was expecting something from me. What, I'd have to figure out myself, because he wasn't going to tell me.

It had been a game all along, even if we had both only been vaguely aware of it. It was still a game at that point, and we both had to play it to move on to the next level.

All I knew then was that I had to make my own move. I would show Itachi exactly who he was dealing with.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! Don't forget to comment ;)
> 
> See y'all tomorrow!


	20. Chapter Twenty - Itachi & Sasuke V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am with yet a new chapter! I'm sorry if there are readers who are following other stories of mine and are waiting for updates, but when inspiration strikes, I take advantage of it.
> 
> For those of you who are enjoying this fic, thank you for your support and I hope I will be able to surprise you all with how things will unfold.
> 
> As always, a huge thank you to you all for reading and for trusting my work! Thank you to Tofukuga from Tumblr who is a constant source of inspiration and keeps my drive going, and to my beautiful beta MistyMi who does such a wonderful job and is so amazingly supportive!
> 
> Once again, I insist: IF THIS FIC HAS PAIRINGS AND SITUATIONS THAT YOU DON'T LIKE OR THAT UPSET YOU, PLEASE DON'T READ. 
> 
> WARNING: ITACHI/SASUKE - SEXUAL SITUATIONS - INCEST. PLEASE DON'T READ IF IT'S NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA!

**Assuming We...**

**Chapter Twenty**

_Sasuke_ _'s POV_

After the rather conflicting conversation between Itachi and I, the atmosphere had felt lighter, but the tension hadn't eased, which wasn't surprising. We had cleared the air about a few things and had been honest with each other to a hurtful point, which forced us both to be aware of ourselves and of how things had been twisted from the very start.

We had both been playing this game all along, even if subconsciously so, back and forth testing, teasing and forcing the other out of their comfort zone. Before, I had been so adamant in pushing my brother away, thinking that I was trying to accomplish something when, in the end, it had all been a silent call for attention. No matter how disgusted and upset I had been at myself for wanting him like this, I had still wanted him to not only see me, but to see me the same way I saw _him_. Through my erratic thoughts and feelings, I had still carried a flame of hope inside me that he would want me, too.

I was genuinely frustrated at myself for my actions in regard to Naruto – he didn't deserve it. I should've known myself better, and I should've known Itachi would see right through me and eventually accuse me of using him. Then again, Itachi had been the one to fuel things between us by opening the doors for us so, in his own way, he _had_ been as manipulative as me.

I hadn't lied when I said I was in love with Naruto though, and oddly enough, beside Itachi, this became clearer. I understood how lucky I was to have him - a faithful friend and lover I could rely on, and someone who gave his everything and accepted me without judgement. I wish I could be the type of humble person who would say that he was too good for someone as unbalanced as me, and yet, Naruto had become too precious for me to let go of. I didn't want to lose what I had built with him, of that much I was sure.

The more I thought about it the more I realized I was a terrible person, and greedy in ways I had never considered before all of this.

Was this the true nature of 'love'? Us human beings becoming twisted, selfish and reckless in our hopeless need to be loved and desired unconditionally above everyone else while, in the middle of all of this, allowing ourselves the luxury of being mindlessly possessive?

I had no idea what to or what to expect from my future with either Naruto or Itachi. It wasn't a question of how I felt for either of them or how they felt about me. One would think that with my brother and I sharing the same feelings the choice would be obvious for me, but truth was, we didn't know how to make it work; if it was possible for us to work together like that or even if things would end up getting too messy and fucked up at some point. Clearly it wasn't a sexual attraction issue either, but the walls were set high between us. There was Naruto, age difference issues, moral issues, uncertainty about what the future would look like and Itachi's own stupid and conflicting thoughts on how to deal with me.

All I knew was that _not_ giving it a try with Itachi now was not an option anymore. Even if it didn't last, I would take whatever I could and hope that it wouldn't break us beyond repair.

In the end, the lifelong love I'd had for Itachi as a brother and as a person had been joined by this new emotional and sexual rawness that was breathtaking, and I knew he loved me just as much - if not more - and in other ways I could barely begin to comprehend. Sharing intimacy with him had only managed to open my eyes to something that would not change between us.

Our walk back to the apartment was spent in solemn silence as we found ourselves already surrounded by the colors of the night. We had managed to finish our food back at the coffee shop, so when Itachi asked if I wanted to get anything special for dinner I refused because I was sure I wouldn't be able to eat much for the rest of the day anyway.

Once we were home, Itachi announced that he had some emails to reply to and the script to revise for the next day. I took that as a hint for me to give him some space, so I went to my room to change into some sleeping clothes and text Naruto to tell him everything was okay. I didn't feel like calling him just yet considering all the stuff that had happened already and all the stuff that I had yet to process.

Things had already been heavy and emotional enough for one day, so I did all of this slowly. I didn't want my presence to be overbearing for my brother. I understood that I needed to tread carefully around him to be where he wanted me to be, with him, whatever that was.

To my surprise, though, as I walked inside the living room I found Itachi sitting on the sofa with his laptop over his legs, some papers on the cushions next to his thigh. I noticed he'd already changed his clothes, too, to a black pair of sweatpants and a dark green, tight fitting sweater. His gaze acknowledged my arrival before his eyes rolled down again to the screen.

I observed this relaxed version of him for a while, the casualness in his demeanor and appearance something familiar and heartwarming to me. I wondered how long it had been since I had allowed myself to just _look_ at him without feeling like a horrible person.

"Can I keep you company?" I asked.

"You don't need to ask," my brother said easily as he typed something down.

At his permission, I made my way towards him and sat down on the sofa, crossing my legs Indian style. "You should get a TV," I commented, placing my cellphone on the seat beside me next to his papers. "No normal human being lives without one nowadays."

"I will get one for you if you ever come live with me," he said, imperturbable. "Until then, I am fine with my books and my sound system."

I couldn't help but snort. "You're like an old man," I mocked. Then, I looked down at the papers resting between us, picking them up. It looked like a script. "Is this for the movie you're in?"

"Hm."

I turned the first page of the script and quickly read through the premise. It seemed like a serious story, about _yakuza_ , love, and vengeance, and Itachi played the villain, who also happened to be the main character.

Curious to see what kind of role he was playing; I wasted a few minutes reading through the script.

"'Nao, you betrayed me,'" I recited solemnly while reading a line from a dialogue on page fifteen where Itachi's character murdered the man who had adopted him and taught him everything. "'After everything our family has done for you, after we took you in when your parents threw you away… my son… how could you…'"

"'Don't waste your breath, old man,'" Itachi recited back, his eyes still trained on his laptop, his voice having fallen to a dark, fearsome tone that had me quirking up my eyebrows. He was uttering every single word in the dialogue by heart. "'I will make sure your life's hard work won't go to waste. This family will thrive under my leadership. I will do all the things you were never capable of.'"

He looked at me from the corner of his eye, looking smug. "Keep going."

I flipped a few more pages, skipping ahead. "'Boss, we can't use her,'" I read out loud another random line. "'She's too young, what would the mistress say…'"

"'I don't recall asking for your input, useless vermin,'" Itachi cut, imposingly. "'Keep that insolent attitude and you will wish your punishment were a cut finger.'"

Lowering the script, I made a face at him, torn between awe and envy. "Have you memorized just your part, or do you actually know this whole thing by heart?"

Itachi actually glanced at me again, smiling openly this time. "Care to find out?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I already knew the answer, it was no use making a fool out of myself. "Never mind."

Itachi all but smirked slightly before silently proceeding with whatever it was that he was doing on his laptop. With a sigh, I changed my position so I was laying on my back on the sofa, the top of my head connecting with his thigh, the script over my chest. Looking up at the tall ceiling, I tried to relax. Itachi enjoyed this type of quiet ambience, I thought, and I had gotten used to it from spending time with him, so it didn't bother me. He sometimes had the radio on, which was also nice.

However, it was just the quiet sound of our breathings then and the gentle tap of his fingers on the keyboard and I couldn't help but remember that, just a few hours previously I'd experienced the quickest orgasm of my life in that same place.

Feeling a sudden shiver run through my body I tried to push the memory away and not think how Itachi had gone from an almost innocent kiss to full on throwing himself at me without restraint.

I wondered if I had that much impact on him or if he had just been taken by surprise because it had been our first kiss and we had both wanted it that bad without realizing it.

Even if we had already kissed after that... would he react if I made a move _now_?

Itachi was always so composed, so calm. Knowing I had made him lose his shit was weirdly fascinating.

I took a deep breath and placed a wrist over my eyes. Moral grounds, he had said. He wanted me to change the way he saw me so we could be on the same level and I didn't know what that meant, neither would he tell me. At this point, he was seeing me as an overly excited kid, impulsive and childish, innocent, but at the same time, he had alluded to seeing me as a man as well, something desirable that he wanted and that made him lose track of himself. These two things clashed in his mind in ways that I couldn't reach, but it was my job to put a stop to it. How, I would have to learn.

Did Itachi want me to be a man, or did he fear that I'd lose that innocence he had so been keen on protecting? I suspected both were probably correct.

Right now, all I knew was that I was pretty emotionally drained. Thinking about Itachi and me forced my body to react without my consent and it only got worse because he was right there.

If it had been Naruto sitting where Itachi was, all I had to do was glance at him a certain way and we'd take care of this matter easily, no second thoughts and no complications.

It was fucking hard being in the same space as Itachi at this point and not wanting _something_. I could only pray that this was temporary because it was all new - that it wouldn't be like this all the time.

There was no way I was going to openly tell my brother I wanted his attention though, even if I felt that he would notice at some point.

"Were you ever diagnosed with a photographic memory?" I asked, to take my mind off my boner. "When you were being considered this fantastic genius at school and all that."

"I don't think so, no," Itachi replied, sounding thoughtful, and even the way his voice reverberated softly in the room seemed to go straight to the indecent part of my brain. "I think I simply have an ability to retain information well. You do, too."

"Yeah, but I still study my ass off."

"So did I," he refuted easily. I felt a gentle brush of knuckles against my forehead and had to will myself not to shudder. "And I still do. It's not like I look at scripts once and automatically memorize it all, neither do I miraculously know how to approach characters and scenes. It takes studying and method; a lot of research, as well."

That touch that I had once been so fearful to receive felt blissful.

I removed my wrist from my eyes but kept them closed. As if on cue, those same knuckles brushed a delicate path down the curve of my nose, then lower until they stopped at my lips. Instinctively, I kissed them.

"Is it lonely, doing this all by yourself?" I questioned, in a whisper.

Itachi was silent then, but after a few seconds he turned his hand downwards so the fingertips of his index and middle fingers were touching my lips in a feathered-like caress. "I only feel lonely when I think about you," he said, smoothly. "Other than yours, I don't really feel like I lack company in my daily life."

"Hm" I muttered, feeling a pleasant warmth running through my body before parting my lips to languidly mouth at the digits against them for a bit. "You always say these sorts of well-chosen things to cause an impact, don't you?"

"Well-chosen words can be more powerful than reckless actions," he replied. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was watching me. Lightly, his fingers pinched my upper lip playfully. "Although, reckless actions can be irreversibly impactful, too."

I opened my eyes and tilted my head backwards so I could look back into his own observant ones. Unblinkingly, I bit on his middle finger before the tip of my tongue darted out to offer it a small, yet provocative lick.

Itachi's calm face didn't change, but his eyes narrowed down at me. "Someone's in a feisty mood" he noted, as expected, even as his eyes left mine to watch my mouth now, his fingertips rubbing almost sensually against my lips, openly inviting me to do more.

He was obviously aware that I was pushing him, but I couldn't help but wonder why he was indulging my actions and whether his choice of initiating contact had been purely out of innocent affection or if it had been intent on riling me up from the start. Maybe he had known, from something in my voice or my demeanor, that I was already in that certain type of mood. Itachi had always been overly aware of everything I did like that.

"Whose fault do you think that is?" I asked, grabbing his hand with both of mine to keep it in place, one of my thumbs rubbing on the inside of his wrist. "You act all nonchalant but you're teasing me."

Itachi smirked slightly. "Am I now?"

Even as he said this, his middle finger eased its way inside my mouth. That alone did things to me that I couldn't ignore, and all I could do was happily oblige, closing my lips around the digit and sucking, my tongue running wetly, languidly over its length. Beneath my fingertips, goosebumps appeared on the skin of his wrist, letting me know he enjoyed this type of thing.

Slender fingers rested against the sides of my face as he teasingly seemed to thrust his middle one in a curious exploration of the interior of my mouth, the digit rubbing against my tongue as he did so. If I had been uncomfortable before, I knew I was fully hard now, and the fact that he was willingly indulging me wasn't helping.

Itachi's eyes were trained on me, his expression unchangeable, yet his breath was a slightest bit faster than before, which pleased me immensely. By now, I knew this to be a sign of his obvious interest.

I made the finger slide out of my mouth and started to slowly run my tongue across the palm of his hand, that I still held firmly. His pulse quickened.

"Sasuke," Itachi said, his voice even but sinfully low. "Behave yourself."

"I can't," I muttered, nuzzling my nose on the wet spots I had just licked, realizing I sounded needy but not really caring when he was clearly being affected by it.

For a few seconds, there was silence as our eyes locked, and I kept kissing his hand provocatively, Itachi watching without saying a word, but we could both feel that the atmosphere around us had changed, the air having gotten heavier and hotter.

I vaguely wondered what was going through his mind and hoped that he wouldn't push me away after having come this far. After our conversation I still didn't know where we were at and what his boundaries were, what was acceptable in his mind and what wasn't. We had already kissed and orgasmed together, and apparently we had both been more than fine with it but Itachi's mind worked in such strange ways that I hoped it wouldn't be what would hold him back now.

To my elation, Itachi used his free hand to close the lid of his laptop, gently tugging the hand I was holding free from my grasp before picking up the script still resting on top of my chest. Inquisitively, I tilted my head further backwards to see what he was doing and noticed that he was placing both things down on the floor.

_Fuck, yes,_ I thought, knowing I was maybe a little too excited but not really caring.

This was all I needed to turn on my stomach and get on my hands and knees. I didn't need him to say anything because I easily crawled my way on top of him, immediately straddling his legs, and even if that hadn't been his initial idea he allowed it as he leaned back on the sofa, silently watching my every move. I briefly looked down between us and confirmed that I wasn't the only one worked up since there was an obvious hard on tenting his pants. I bit down on my lower lip at the thought, Itachi attentively gauging my expression.

I felt his hands coming to rest on my hips as both of mine clenched around the fabric of the sweater over his chest. We exchanged a meaningful look, his beautiful eyes carefully observant before his chin tilted upwards as I leaned down, our mouths meeting with an acquired ease as I caught his lower lip between my own and sucked it gently. Itachi opened his mouth just the slightest bit as his tongue flicked out to touch my upper lip and I took the chance to gently suck on the alluring tip now before kissing him fully. Briefly, the thought that this was my first time initiating a kiss between us crossed my mind. I wondered if he had noticed it.

It was so unbelievably easy, too.

Careful hands pulled my sweater up until they were touching skin, first at the end of my spine, then appreciatively sliding upwards to feel the contours of my back and I all but released a wanton moan against him, feeling that familiar dizziness clouding my head. It was the first time, to my recollection, that he touched me so directly like that, which made me extra sensitive to him. His hands were soft, yet strong, and he caressed me in a calculated way that I wasn't used to. Wantonly, I arched my body into his touch as those exploring hands moved to my sides, grabbing me a little underneath my armpits. I could tell he was taking in as much as I was, fingertips memorizing every trace of skin they found with such devotion I felt like I was melting.

It didn't seem possible that this felt so stupidly good.

Our tongues slowly slid against each other as I felt Itachi pulling me closer against him, so I uncurled my fingers from the fabric on his chest and put my arms around his neck instead, hugging him and letting my ass drop so I was sitting on his legs. There was a moment when I felt my breath catch as our clothed erections came into contact and our chests were fully pressed against each other. Shamelessly, I released a groan and rolled my hips a bit for some friction, slowly but implicitly. My actions made Itachi inhale deeply through his nose and his fingers curl so his nails were digging possessively on my skin. I had to break the kiss because I couldn't breathe anymore.

Gasping a little, I locked eyes with his inquisitive ones. Itachi seemed to be breathing hard too, and I couldn't help but notice how sensual he looked with his lips wet from kissing.

What a weird thing to think, I considered, vaguely surprised at myself. We had already kissed and touched, rutted together, and just now was I realizing that he looked ridiculously fuckable?

_I did not just think that._

That was the person I had fallen so helplessly in love with, and there he was, under me, giving me free access.

I became aware that my hands were shaking, my cheeks unbelievably hot.

My desire for him suffocated me suddenly. I couldn't even take control of my body properly and it was a scary thought.

As if reading my mind, Itachi smiled mischievously, leaning forward to mouth at my neck, effectively making me forget everything to instead close my eyes and relish. _God_ , why was he so good with his mouth?

I blindly felt around his head until I found the band holding his messy ponytail together and, just like a few hours previously, I made it slide from his hair, reopening my eyes to almost drunkenly watching as dark strands cascaded over his shoulders and over my hands.

"Do you have a thing for my hair?" Itachi whispered, a little breathlessly, kissing along my Adam's apple.

"Maybe," I admitted, running the fingers of both hands easily through those beautiful strands, mentally agreeing that the sight was rather fascinating. He did have beautiful hair, strong but sleek, somehow so smooth and fluid when it was loose like this. These were kinks of mine I had never noticed before, but then again, before this I had been so afraid of even thinking about these types of situations with him to consider anything at all.

Letting go of his hair, my hands came down to his waist. I impatiently tugged at his sweater. "Off. _Now_."

The demand made him quirk an amused eyebrow upwards at me, but he complied, lifting his arms up so I could remove the offending piece of clothing from him and throw it to the side.

Looking at his toned body I felt my mouth watering helplessly and my heartbeat skyrocket. There was something animalistically beautiful in the way his hair fell messily over his chest and contrasted against pale skin - so much so that I became momentarily dazed. I found him so fucking attractive I was rendered speechless.

Looking at him as a lover was completely different from looking at him as a brother, and it was shocking to me how easy it was to go from one concept to the other.

"Are you cold?" I absently asked in a whisper.

"I'm fine," he assured me, his hands on both my thighs now, massaging them firmly in slow back and forth movements, thumbs occasionally sliding over my groins.

Fascinated, I placed both hands on his chest, feeling the firm muscles of his pecks beneath my fingers. Holding my breath, I couldn't resist the urge to brush the tips of my fingers over the pinkish, hard nipples, loving how he allowed himself to sigh gently in pleasure. My eyes hungrily traced every contour of his neckline, the smooth muscles in his arms, his well-defined abs. For a moment, I felt my chest tightening in pure desire and all I wanted was to feel every bit of his body as I could without restraint, yet the thought was somehow intimidating.

"My eyes are up here," Itachi teased softly, making me jolt. His index finger tilted my chin upwards, so I was looking into his eyes instead. "Let me see you, too."

Eyes fixed on mine, there wasn't a trace of a smile on his face now. His hands sneaked under my clothes in a feathered-like touch while they traced a curious path up my chest, warm palms brushing over my own pebbled nipples. The sensation made me hiss as I automatically ventured a new, more insinuating thrust of my hips against him, my fingers tightening around the muscles of his shoulders. Itachi took a sharp intake of breath. I clenched my teeth so as to not moan as I felt a small pinch being delivered to both buds, my cock twitching painfully in the confines of my clothes at that.

With a groan, I removed my own sweatshirt and threw it to the side, feeling my muscles tremble with anticipation and frustration as my heated skin was hit by the mild temperature in the room - a contrast to how hot his hands on me were. I had to take a breath and look away because his eyes, curious and ravenous were on me the whole time, taking in every single thing I did, shamelessly appreciating every bit of me as I had done to him, as if my body was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. I could almost hear his lascivious thoughts form his expression alone, and it made me burn all over.

And then there was a hand somewhere on my collarbone and I realized Itachi was touching something I hadn't even noticed was there - the Yin and Yang necklace Naruto had gotten for me on his birthday that I always wore and had forgotten to take off.

Despite my suddenly rampant thoughts, when Itachi spoke, it wasn't to ask about the necklace.

"What's wrong?" Itachi asked, gently instead even as his hands came to rest on the sides of my neck in a calm, yet firm manner that screamed of possessiveness and almost had me moaning again my libido escalating with every passing second.

For someone who had been so completely out of control at lunchtime, he seemed infuriatingly composed at this point. He was so perfectly calculating it was both arousing and aggravating. Itachi thought he had complete control now, did he?

_Fucking hypocrite_ , I thought, my mind quickly running through our conversation at the coffee shop. Moral grounds? Yeah, right.

_Fuck this._

Inhaling sharply through my nose, I looked deep into his eyes resolutely, one of my hands curling around the silky hairs at the back of his head again. Without warning, I pulled at his hair roughly to tug his head back in one swift move. "I want you to stop screwing around and touch me like you fucking mean it," I snapped, leaning in so our mouths were a breath away from touching, my voice coming out surprisingly demanding. His eyes widened the slightest bit as his pupils dilated in a flash of something feral. His fingers tightened almost threateningly around my neck, thumbs pressing ever so slightly on my carotids, but I was too far gone in my own yearning to feel intimidated.

"Is that what you want?" he breathed out, challengingly. Our naked chests had come into contact and the feel of his skin against mine made every part of me painfully aware of everything about him in a primal way - his scent, the rigidness of his body, the heat between us and the hardness of our cocks squeezed together.

I couldn't even think rationally anymore as ventured a few provocative thrusts of my hips, his expectant and evaluating eyes stuck to mine as I made my free hand sneak between our bodies to trail down his abs before I hooked my fingers on the elastic band of both his pants and underwear teasingly. My teeth scrapped at his lower lip first before giving it a rough tug and letting go. "What do you think?"

Itachi's mouth came forward to capture mine then igniting both our senses at once as sobriety went to hell.

_Fuck, yes._

I parted my lips more so he could hungrily thrust his tongue inside as we kissed lewdly for a while, our rapid breaths colliding as the temperature between us seemed to skyrocket.

Single handedly, I somehow managed to pull his pants down as much as possible and finally free his erection from its confines, the action causing it to slap a bit against my abdomen and leave a trail of warm wetness there. Knowing he was so aroused he was fucking leaking was enough to make my own cock pulse with want. I was acutely aware of the scent of his arousal, and it did nothing to soothe me.

We never stopped kissing as I held his cock in my hand, feeling myself burning up further in both excitement and a strange form of embarrassment because damn, he was bigger than I had anticipated. Itachi released a guttural, unfamiliar sound at the contact, his body shivering slightly as I chanced a few experimental pumps, relishing in how slippery he was that made it so easy to touch and, hopefully, please. I was overwhelmed at how vulnerably responsive he was.

Both of his hands let go of my neck to unapologetically sneak inside my pants and grab hold of both my ass cheeks in a firm squeeze. I could feel slender fingers in the crevice of my ass, brushing over my sensitive entrance, and even if it was unintentional (or not) I felt myself tense in anticipation as I sort of wished those fingers would try to explore more. Instead, I found myself gasping as I was being urged forward in one swift motion in a silent demand for more contact, more friction. My heart was wild and constricted in my sexual haze, the sensation of our naked chests touching so intimately maddening, and all I could think of was why was he such a fucking good kisser and tasted and felt so fucking good.

There was a sort of mature masculinity to him that I wasn't used to, and it threw me off balance completely, driving me crazy.

I broke the kiss with a loud suction noise then and tugged his head further backwards, our feral eyes meeting for a second before I leaned down to run my tongue languidly over the column of his neck, the thin sheen of perspiration forming there invading my senses like some heavenly nectar. I used my thumb to rub at the tip of his cock as I jerked it, taking a moment to bury my nose in the junction where his shoulder and neck met to take a deep whiff of his scent, feeling myself going increasingly dizzy with unfulfilled yearning. The pleasurable sounds Itachi made as he breathed were the most amazing thing I'd ever heard, and he was doing it _for_ and _because_ of me.

This was when I vaguely realized he was tugging at my pants, pulling them down and I all but lifted my hips up momentarily to help him, moaning because the simple action of my painfully hard cock bobbing out was enough to almost make me come.

"Let go of my hair, Sasuke," I heard Itachi murmuring seductively yet commandingly against the curve of my neck, even if there was a hint of desperation in his voice that pleased me immensely. " _Now_."

More because I couldn't think straight than to obey, I released his hair, and it was if with that I had unleashed a wild beast, because I felt his hand circling my leaking cock - and even that was bigger and more engulfing than I was used to - but there was no experimental hesitance in him as he worked it with fast, confident pumps, precum making it all deliciously slippery. I was instantly flooded with pleasure and feverish shivers, my heart swelling with so much longing I could hardly think.

Itachi urgently hugged me in an almost bone-crushing way, his back straightening as leaned forward, mouth colliding against mine again in a ravaging kiss. For a few awkward seconds I had to adjust my legs so instead of being folded under me they could wrap around his waist. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but I didn't care anymore; I just wanted release and I was already so close nothing seemed to matter.

My tongue invaded his mouth with a thirst for him I didn't really know I had until then, and he responded with the same intensity, neither caring about how sloppy or loud our kissing was, both intent on simply feeling and tasting, owning.

Everything was just fucking perfect, from his wanton mouth on me to the feel of his hands, the low sounds he made and how fucking delicious his own skin felt and tasted.

The feel of his hand confidently fisting my cock was amazing and all I could do was savagely thrust against it in an instinctual need for more, fucking it as if my very life depending on it as I tried my best to keep what little focus I had left on jerking him off too, one arm around his shoulders so I could hold on to him for dear life. I couldn't hold back the gasps that left my mouth, and his own low indecent groans didn't help at all.

All I knew was that I was going to come in a matter of seconds, and that I wanted Itachi to come, too – and hard - because of me.

My muscles shivered, legs tightening shakily around him as pleasure threatened to overflow, heat filling me helplessly. It was my turn to break the kiss so I could urgently look down and see our hands working each other's cocks at a fast pace and I almost regretted it because the sight was too unexpectedly hot.

"Urgh… damn it…" I hissed, closing my eyes and throwing my head back, Itachi taking advantage of this to press wet, erratic kisses all over my chest, the nails of his free hand digging into the skin of my back and making me hiss and fuck, that felt mind-blowingly good.

"Tighten your hand more," Itachi suddenly hissed, before mouthing and lapping at an overly sensitive nipple in such a lewd way it would make any experienced person blush, my body shivering openly without my consent. Still, I managed to be mindful of his request as I tightened my fist around his cock and picked up the pace, effectively making him moan in approval - the sound of it too much for me. I hugged him close to me just as I felt him pulsing in my grasp, his teeth sinking down on my nipple roughly, forcing jolts of pain and pleasure to course through my body.

I tried to hold my orgasm in only long enough to feel his seed coating my hand and hitting my stomach before letting myself go as every muscle in me contracted and sheer ecstasy washed over me, my body curling slightly, my head falling so my forehead hit the top of Itachi's head, my nose buried in his hair that smelled so fucking amazing and only eased me through my bliss all the more perfectly. I know I released a few incoherent curses as I fucked my orgasm into his relentless hand, vaguely aware of my seed leaving me in powerful spurts and hitting his body, long having forgotten to be even remotely proper, too lost in that strange world where we connected so frighteningly ideally.

There was a frantic moment where we just rode the high of heavenly climax, our incoherent huffing the only sound that could be heard.

At some point, my cock stopped pulsing and my body felt heavy from post orgasmic bliss, yet Itachi's hand kept pumping it in a considerably slower pace now, almost as if relishing in the feel of it, my cum making it amazingly slippery.

I loved that, and it made me acutely conscious of the fact that my own hand was full of his cum, and I could feel remnants of it on my navel too.

I stilled, shaking slightly from the aftershocks of sex, panting as I nuzzled the top of my brother's head with my nose, humming at the still oddly pleasurable sensation provided to my still very alert cock. "Would you stop?" I mumbled lazily, inhaling sharply, even as my own hand ventured a few languid pumps around his length teasingly. "My inconsiderate ass will assault you again."

Itachi all but made an indistinguishable sound with the back of this throat, his lips gently kissing my breast over where he had so aggressively bitten as if it would magically soothe it - it kind of only made me feel even more sensitized, but surely he knew that. "Did I hurt you?" he asked quietly, voice a mixture of concern and satisfaction.

"It doesn't hurt," I assured him, wondering if he felt some kind of guilt for having gone that far or was feeling smug about it. "I'm not exactly new at this, you know."

Itachi finally released my cock, and I took that as a sign that I should stop teasing, too. Leaning back a little, I looked down at him just as he was tilting his head up so we could look at each other. "You don't need to remind me of that," my brother said evenly, his voice having gone back to its usual composed tone.

Itachi's expression as his eyes watched my features was one I could only perceive as carefully loving and lustful, yet openly studious. I brought my lips close to his so our mouths were merely brushing lightly against each other. Our bodies were still wonderfully close, more than they had ever been in fact, and that thought alone brought me an unfaltering sense of joy. "I will do so as many times as I have to so you can stop thinking I'm some delicate doll you're afraid to break," I countered, my cum coated hand coming up to touch one of his breasts in a meaningful squeeze, uncaring if I was smudging it. "Still, you have to explain to me what your moral grounds are exactly because you clearly can't hold back for shit."

I could feel his annoyance at my accusation, yet, a possessive hand travelled up and down my spine as Itachi's tongue flicked out to run over the seam of my lips.

"You're like an animal in heat," he muttered, his own cum coated hand coming to grab mine over his chest. Slowly, like I had done at the coffee shop not too long ago, he intertwined our fingers. "I unfortunately feel like one too when we're together like this."

I was a little taken aback at how easy it was for us to be dirty like this together. Maybe we shared the same sort of indecent kinks.

"Because you love me so much you have no control?" I whispered, smirking slightly before mouthing lightly at his lips. "Too bad it isn't just 'love', huh?"

The way Itachi's body tensed and his cock twitched against me as it seemed to lengthen gave me the answer I needed, and fuck me, there was something really hot about knowing he was so easily affected by me. That he could recover so fast was also a dizzying thought, but then again, I felt like my own moment of post-orgasmic calm was quickly being replaced by another wave of unforgiving lust.

It was overwhelming to feel, and overwhelming to consider.

There was no denying how mindlessly attracted we were to each other, and I hoped Itachi could understand that his 'moral values' could not fight against that - I wouldn't let him. Not now that I had him exactly where I - apparently - had always wanted him.

"'Love' should always come before 'sex'," Itachi said, nibbling on my jaw before pressing slow kissed up my cheeks.

"I always thought both things should come hand in hand for any relationship to work," I commented, with a sigh because, _God_ , nothing had the right to feel this good, over and over again.

I was fascinated by the way his fingers slowly caressed mine through our slippery fluids, now mixed together in a disgustingly ideal way, and couldn't help but wonder what kind of lover Itachi was, who liked to bite and felt comfortable with cumplay, if this interaction was any indication. I wasn't any different, I supposed, because I enjoyed all of it, too-

"I didn't think our 'love' would be this raw," Itachi whispered in my ear. "It's difficult to wrap my mind around it even if it is thoroughly enticing."

I could tell I was going to have a hard time going soft if the way my body heated up at his words was any indication. But then again, Itachi's tongue doing amazing things to the lobe of my ear didn't seem to want to allow me to quiet down at all.

"So, who's exactly being dragged along by their impulses?" I huffed, my voice coming out shaky now as chills of newfound arousal ran through me. "Is it that bad that we don't really know what we're doing?"

"I'm not sure I want to find out." Itachi seemed to be breathing hard again. "For now, I just…"

I silenced him by grabbing his face in my free hand and kissing him hard, by now knowing that we were already so all over the place that it would be enough to ignite everything all over again.

Itachi's dirty hand let go of mine, and I was only slightly surprised when he grabbed for my thighs and stood, easily carrying me up with him. I had the right mind to tighten my legs closer around his waist and hug his shoulders for leverage. I couldn't believe he was strong enough to fucking carry me like I was made of fucking cotton but damn, that did things to me and I did hope he would take advantage of that many, many more times.

I could all but laugh disbelievingly before capturing his mouth again.

In a daze of hormonal frenzy and frantic happiness, I let all thoughts and worries leave my mind as we made our way to his bedroom.

That night was the first where I felt so devastatingly free and in love I felt like if I had to die, I'd gladly go as a happy man.

_Itachi_ _'s POV_

Dinner had been completely forgotten and I hadn't picked up the script once to look at it. A few of my emails were still open, waiting for replies I had not been able to provide.

It was already near midnight and I had yet to feel sleep willing to claim me. Sasuke and I would have to get up in four hours to get ready for our flight to Osaka, only to then take the one hour commute to Kyoto, where I would be filming the movie scenes for a few days.

My uneasy mind still could not fully acknowledge all the things Sasuke and I had done, several times over, and he had just gotten there, not even twelve hours previously.

Propped up on an elbow, I looked down at Sasuke's slumbering face in the dim moonlight that filtered through the window of my room. On his back with a hand over his stomach, his face was slightly turned to me and he slept so soundlessly I couldn't help but hover a finger in front of his nose to make sure he was breathing properly - a habit I had since he'd been a baby.

Confirming that he was in fact breathing, I then gently brushed a few strands of his fringe away from his closed eyes, my eyes roaming over the simple, yet handsome contours of his face. Sasuke did have the most fascinating type of beauty I had ever seen, so effortlessly flawless one couldn't help but be drawn to it. Certainly, in a few years he would be quite the stunning adult.

Observing him like this forced several inscrutable emotions to course through me.

Despite myself, I considered if this emotional and mental chaos I felt was what it meant to be 'in love'.

Just seeing him like this made my chest burn. It had been so long since the last time he had slept in my bed that it almost felt unreal to have him there now, so comfortable in my sheets, so willingly wearing my clothes that were a little too big, even if he wasn't exactly small.

Not for the first time I wondered how it was possible to go from nothing to end up like this when just a few months previously he would look as if he wanted to crawl out of his skin the moment I so much as reached out to touch him.

My love for that individual had always been controlled, something I understood and accepted, one way or another, regardless of being aware of its true nature or not. Having him emotionally and physically distanced from me had been painful but easy to handle - at least I didn't have to think about how I felt or how _he_ felt and whether it was right or wrong. I didn't have to consider if my jealousy and my longing belonged to a dark spectrum that we shouldn't approach.

Fundamentally, Sasuke's actions when pushing me away and unknowingly hurting me had been valid, and a part of me had resigned to accepting it. After all, he hadn't known how I felt in the first place.

Still, unconsciously, he had thrummed the right notes in me, and I had all but danced to his music, every instinct I had awakening to his song. This marveled, yet angered me. Not knowing who exactly was to blame for our situation angered me.

All my life I had prepared myself to be his brother, and that was the undeniable truth. Even if I understood that my longing for him went beyond familiar, I hadn't once allowed myself to want him differently, or even think about him in such ways because I was so devoted and protective of him I need to keep him safe - even from me - and unblemished.

Perhaps I hadn't done it correctly, so eager had I been in providing everything for him and making sure he understood my affections. Perhaps my love had been too demanding, even in a brotherly context and had, unintentionally, called out to him.

I could only berate myself. Was I the one to blame for the way Sasuke's feelings for me had progressed?

Regardless, being aware of them had lured me in. I should've been the one to create a new sort of safe distance between us, try to placate him and understand him, but instead I had willingly invaded his space and made it so we could, eventually, come down to this.

How does one turn away from the one thing they love the most?

Indeed, I had opened the gates to my own personal hell.

Sasuke was highly intelligent, but also strongly driven by his emotions and his impulses. I was aware that being in love with me, his brother, wasn't easy to accept and that his feelings had caused him a lot of pain for several reasons. I couldn't blame him for trying to hurt me when he was so scared of me, yet so desperate to be seen so I could at least comprehend him and forgive him for not wanting me close.

It's not as if I didn't know this, so why was I so angry at him?

Sasuke was far from being perfect, but he was so in my eyes. That he would go so far as to use someone else to forget about me horrified me. His attitude had been unforgiving, and he hadn't even noticed it.

I never wanted Sasuke to become that type of person because of me. He claimed to love me, but what was 'love' to him in such a situation? What did he expect to come out of our 'love'?

And how could he claim to 'be in love' with someone else at the same time?

I felt like I couldn't understand him at all. I was appalled, yet impressed at these sides of Sasuke that I hadn't yet known.

To me, 'love' had always been a set of straight lines that led me to Sasuke, Shisui and my family, all those paths clear, unchanging. Then, my 'love' path to Sasuke had split into millions of other lines that I had never considered before and had yet to walk through. That unsettled me.

I was highly disturbed by the fact that I didn't know what this new form of 'love' for Sasuke looked like. I had deluded myself into believing I knew what I was dealing with and yet, that frustration, jealousy and possessiveness, the fear, the longing - all of it had hit me with a force I hadn't expected, and I was rendered powerless before it.

My selflessness turned into selfishness.

Not having control over the events unfolding before me was not a feeling I was comfortable with.

I knew that what Sasuke and I were doing was a taboo. I knew he was underage, even if already in an age of consent. These were things that I was acutely aware of and that I knew I should be held accountable for. No matter how strong my feelings were, I was supposed to be the better man. I genuinely thought I could act as such.

Sasuke and I would solve things between us quietly, slowly deciding how to act around each other and where it might lead us. That's what I had thought. My level of attraction had been high, but I had predicted that, considering our blood relation, things would be hesitant for a while.

However, all my assumptions were shattered the moment my lips touched his. I knew I was attracted, but I didn't know it would manifest itself the way it did, neither did I expect that Sasuke - after talking about his own self-disgust - would be so willing to tear down walls and give himself so easily.

Like a poorly contained tide, all the doors I had shut in my mind and body burst open and everything I had no idea I'd been holding back poured out of me, flooding my senses and clouding my mind. There was nothing I could do but let it all wash over the both of us.

A part of me wondered if this had been as surprising to Sasuke as it was for me. I should've seen it coming, though, considering how tense things had been between us.

My lack of control upset me greatly. I was supposed to keep things in check - I was the responsible adult.

It had been far too easy to let go, to want, and to hope. But this was me being frivolous. Sasuke was young, passionate and eager to be with someone he wanted, his mind filled with dreams, his body responsive to every ounce of affection I had for him. But was this deliverance completely sane? Did he understand the implications?

It seemed so simple to him, yet, he said he was in love with someone else and had reservations about certain things between us in public. Of course, I would never do anything to openly show the nature of our relationship, but his paranoia did nothing to make me feel at ease. Sasuke had, at some point, made up for the weakness, but it wasn't enough.

What was he expecting from this? How was he planning on handling it in the future?

It was still so soon to be thinking about these things, but things were progressing fast, as well.

As I leaned down to press a small kiss to my sleeping brother's forehead, my eyes fell shut as I recalled the several heated interactions we had shared. I almost shuddered.

'Love' was a much more complicated concept than what I had initially though.

I had been with several partners in my life, most them that had ended up in penetrative sex, and yet, I couldn't think of a single one that had felt as powerful and helpless as I felt when with Sasuke.

The thought alone was haunting.

Releasing a sigh, I grabbed my cell phone before quietly getting out of bed and leaving the room, closing the door behind me.

I made my way to the kitchen, closing the door as well once I was inside, leaving the lights off. As I made my way to the tall glass doors that led to the balcony, I searched for Shisui's phone number and made the call.

Leaning against the glass ai looked down at the sparkling horizon filled with lights, the view managing to barely soothe my troubled soul.

_"'Tachi!"_ Shisui greeted me soon after, and I felt relieved listening to his cheerful voice, even if I knew he would pick up my call - he always did.

"Shisui," I greeted back, in a low voice. "I'm sorry for bothering you at this hour."

_"Oh, shut up,"_ he dismissed easily. _"It's not like you to call so late, so I presume you have something serious to talk about?"_

My throat constricted as much as my chest at that and I had to take a moment to swallow because my voice seemed to have gotten stuck. Even these sorts of reactions on my part were a novelty to me and I was not pleased.

_"Let me guess; this is about Sasuke,"_ Shisui said, reading my silence perceptively. " _Did things go wrong?"_

I cleared my throat, to try and relax it somehow. "It didn't go wrong," I managed to utter. "It went… in a surprising direction."

_"Whoa, don't tell me you two fucked?!"_

In spite of myself, I felt my body tensing and my face heating up at my cousin's bluntness. "It didn't go that far, thankfully," I said, again, closing my eyes at the memory, torn between fondness and frustration at how my body reacted to it. "Things did happen, though."

_"But that's good news, isn't it?"_ Shisui asked, sounding genuinely excited on my behalf. _"You confirmed your suspicions and you guys sorted things out, how great is that?"_

"Well, in fact…"

Taking a deep breath, I briefly told him about my conversations with Sasuke and, leaving the details aside, how we got involved - several times - and Shisui, as expected, patiently listened without interrupting.

"Through all of this, he says he's in love with Naruto," I finished, even though I had already mentioned it before, looking down at my bare feet.

Shisui made a thoughtful sound with the back of his throat. _"I don't see why that upsets you so much?"_ he said, conversationally. _"Didn't you say Sasuke started dating him because of you?"_

"That has nothing to do with what I just said," I replied, with a frown.

_"Sasuke likes Naruto, that's just a big deal in your own head; it's got nothing to do with how he feels about you, neither does it mean he's not being honest,"_ Shisui said, as if silently calling me an idiot. _"You've probably been in love with him since he was born, and you still took other lovers. Do you love him any less for that?"_

I brought a hand to my mouth and took a sharp intake of breath. "That's not the issue," I muttered.

_"Then what is?"_

"He's a sack of hormones, Shisui!" I threw, burying my face in my hand, exhaustion making me lean my head against the glass. "He's completely lost in this situation happening between us. Life with me as a lover will not be simple, and he thinks he understands but he doesn't; he's just getting carried away because it's all new, but he's reckless. What's going to happen after it fades?"

_"You're scared that he's immature just because he gets hot and bothered around you,"_ Shisui stated, straight to the point. _"Come on, 'Tachi, he's seventeen and in love with you! You guys are sexually and emotionally compatible, he feels that, so what did you expect; for him to quietly sit still around you?"_

I bit down on my lower lip because this knowledge was something that was still eerie to me - that my brother and I collided so magnificently in intimate matters - and it did things to my body I had no control over.

"He's ruthless," I confessed, willing my body to stop feeling the impending sparks of desire from igniting. "He is capable of turning the tables against me in ways I didn't expect."

_"How is that working out for you?"_

Shisui knew me all too well and sometimes, because he had chosen to lead such a carefree life, I tended to forget that he was probably the most intelligent man I had ever known - even more so than myself.

"It does things to me." I sighed, frustrated that my lower parts were already responding to thoughts of Sasuke's feisty attitude. "I want to eat him alive. It scares me."

_" **Why** does it scare you?"_

"I have no control," I snapped, rubbing my face before lowering my hand so I could look out the glass doors again. "I should be able to. He shouldn't be able to manipulate me the way he does and yet, after one day I'm already a helpless mess. I don't like feeling this way. He's a child, and my brother. We shouldn't be doing these things."

_"He's not a child,"_ Shisui huffed. _"Sasuke is a very intelligent young man, Itachi, and even if he is more impulsive than you, he knows what he's doing. He makes you tick because you have exposed yourself and your desire for him, so he takes advantage of that."_ He seemed to smile. _"It doesn't have to be a bad thing, you know. You love him, so it's only normal that you have no control over your emotions and that's fine."_

"It's _not_ fine," I countered. "I always have control over everything."

_"Well, you knew 'love', but you didn't know what loving him romantically would be like."_ Shisui chuckled. _"You're completely virgin to romantic love, my friend."_

I was silent for a few seconds, considering my friend's words. Put simply, that was very accurate - I had never been romantically involved with anyone, neither did I ever feel the slightest bit inclined to try it with anyone. To be honest, I had never felt chemistry with anyone on the same level I did with Sasuke, least of all to the point of wanting to initiate a relationship with them.

"I was certain I had the basics figured out," I replied, honestly, because I did know the dynamics in theory, but when it came to the practical part, applied to me it was all very different.

_"No-one does; that's not possible, least of all when two people are clearly hot for each other."_

I rolled my eyes at him impatiently. "Don't be crude about it," I admonished, making a face even if I knew there was really no smooth way to put it. "When he realizes how this will end he will choose the easiest path. I wonder if giving in truly is the right thing to do for the both of us. I feel like I'm drowning already. And here I told him that he was the one who…"

_"Itachi, I need you to listen to me now,"_ Shisui interrupted, now with serious emphasis. _"Don't do this to yourself. You two love each other regardless of blood ties or age, which, by the way is only a five year gap."_

I sighed again, exasperated. "Shisui…"

_"You don't have to be the bigger man in this,"_ he cut, almost as if admonishing me, and I could only press my lips tight together. _"Do you know how many people would kill to have what you two are having right now?"_

I did know. Nothing in my life had ever felt like this. But then again, the type of relationship Sasuke and I always had as brothers had been unique and highly envied by others. I had never thought that our love for each other could grow further and engulf us like this, not in this particular way.

_"You can't be scared of loving him just because you're afraid to lose him, or because you think it_ _'s not morally or socially acceptable. You can't predict what's going to happen, so don't think that you have to take matters in your own hands just so you can have complete control. "_

"I can't…"

_"Don't do this to him,"_ he insisted, and this made me tense. _"Don't make assumptions about him, and more importantly, don't decide for yourself what you think is best for him; you know it didn_ _'t go well in the past."_

He was right, of course. My way of always wanting to plan everything for Sasuke had often upset him and caused us to end up fighting, even if Sasuke always forgave me because he knew I had his best interests at heart.

"I don't want to think about things this way," I confessed, pushing a strand of my loose hair away from my face by tucking it behind my ear. "I didn't know it was possible to feel even more content with him than I already did with us as brothers, yet this is a whole new concept. But if I go too deep, then what will happen?" I wet my lips, my own words making me feel even more uneasy. "It's unreasonable how much I don't want to give him away to someone else, even if I know it would be the most sensible thing to do. I didn't know it would feel like this, this… untamable force that I didn't know could possess me like this."

If it hadn't been Shisui, I would not have voiced these things at all, instead keeping them to myself to never be uttered, but he was my best friend, and there was no-one else I could - or would - ever turn to with a troubled mind.

_"You lived your whole life thinking about him."_ There was a trace of a condescending smile in Shisui's voice now. _"Everything you did, everything you achieved, your apartment, your schedule. everything you do you keep him in the back of your mind, and yet, through all of this, you knew that he might not act according to your plans, that he might not even want to be beside you like you always wanted. You never even expected that the two of you would ever come to where you are now."_

Momentarily I closed my eyes. "I know."

_"Then take the chance and enjoy it!"_ He said, as if it was obvious. _"Have him to yourself! Have fun, fuck, do whatever you want. It's not like you have to plan ahead. You don't need to decide on how to work things out right now, you know he wants to graduate at his current school. Stop making a fuss, geez."_

It was easy for Shisui to say, I thought, hugging myself with an arm. For him, it was easy to go with the flow and think about everything else afterwards, but that wasn't something I ever did, nor something I ever wanted to do. I was a man who meticulously planned ahead, measuring everything, calculating all the possible actions and their several consequences and outcomes before deciding on which route to take, certain that it was the right one.

Impulsiveness and recklessness were things I simply did not do. I don't think I ever did until this whole issue with Sasuke had started, and my body seemed to have miraculously forgotten to keep up with my mind.

Still, I couldn't help but smile at Shisui's carefree advice. "You always make things sound so simple," I muttered.

I wished that I could be that simple too, and do as he said without feeling angry at myself. I hated the uncertainty of not being able to see beyond what was presented to me. I hated not being able to take control and know what to do, where I was headed or how.

_"And you always think too much,"_ he replied, with a chuckle before pausing. _"Learn what it feels like to love him like this. You've always been exceptionally rational, so be rational now and go for practicality. It's precisely because Sasuke's young that you need to give him time to understand what he wants, Itachi."_

"I don't know how I'll feel if he decides he doesn't want me."

_"Is all of this because of Naruto?"_ Shisui groaned in exasperation. _"Because Naruto exists, you think Sasuke isn't invested in you? You see him as a threat? Even though Sasuke used him to get to you? Are you serious right now?"_

"You don't know Sasuke like I do," I reminded him, rubbing at the back of my neck tiredly. "He's popular but doesn't have many friends. For him to so easily admit his feelings for that boy means Naruto got through to him, one way or another. He _does_ care for him."

_"Itachi, you two may not have fucked yet, but he's having sex with you when he went so far with Naruto because he didn't want to even think about wanting you! If you feel the weight of him being your brother and you still crossed the line because you're in love, don't you think that's the same for him?"_

"Or maybe he's so overwhelmed by being with me and infatuated by the thought of a forbidden affair that he can't think straight," I snapped. "When he realizes what this is and the future it has he'll go back to him in a heartbeat. "

_"Uchiha Itachi, you can't possibly mean that when you know how much he has adored you his whole life!"_ Shisui gasped, reproachfully, instantly filling me with guilt. _"This has nothing to do with Naruto! You_ _'re not exactly in a position to make demands when you opened the door so Sasuke could see he was reciprocated! He may have poked you, but you chose to go for it and mess up his relationship with blondie."_

Again, Shisui knew exactly where to step on and I wasn't happy about it regardless of how right he was.

_"Sasuke is in his right to love someone else, but that doesn_ _'t overlap how he feels about you. If you love him, you'll have to understand that."_

I took a sharp intake of breath through my nose, feeling that constricting pain in my chest again. "I don't love anyone else, so I can't logically find my mind in a position to understand," I defended.

_"You will if you have to take action,_ " Shisui warned, sounding slightly annoyed at me, and I couldn't blame him. I knew I was being irrational. _"You can't just expect Sasuke to express his feelings all by himself, Itachi, and give you all the proof of love that you want. You need to fight for him too, because there's not enough sex in this world that will make up for someone's selfishness."_

"What are you saying?"

" _Look, just… take things one step at the time, okay? Although, you're definitely a hundred steps ahead already,"_ he joked, to lighten up the mood that had gotten considerably heavy. _"Work with things as they go, see where it leads the both of you and then take charge of how to proceed. For now, just enjoy all the stuff you've already arranged for his time with you and live a little. Eat him alive if you must. From what you've told me I think he'd happily accept it."_

Once more, Shisui hit the nail, but I still found myself feeling uncomfortable. "Don't say shameless things like that about him."

_"I'm sure your perception of him is a lot dirtier than anything I've said so far."_

"Stop being so perceptive; I'm not happy with myself."

_"You don't say. I couldn't tell at all from this conversation."_

I huffed at the sarcasm. "He's too young to be so eager."

_"You're a demanding lover, I sincerely doubt you're disappointed that he gets your juices going just the right way."_ Shisui laughed. _"Honestly, you sick fuck; stop being a prude and just admit that you're happy that it's him the person who finally gets your gears going. You're simply angry because you're loving it and you want to be moralistic about it, but you can't. It's alright to think with your dick before your head once in a while."_

I found myself feeling slightly envious of Shisui's genius before being viciously assaulted by a wave of unwelcomed lust then as my whole body shook with awareness of how true that was. I had to lean away from the window to try and gain some balance because I suddenly felt dazed.

That indecent man had no shame, I thought, feeling my muscles tensing with arousal and acknowledgement. "It was nice talking to you Shisui," I said, keeping my voice neutral and composed, thinking that it was better for my sanity if we didn't talk about this any further.

_"Yeah, yeah I hit a nerve, now go jerk off or something. Better yet, ask Sasuke to give you a hand."_ Shisui teased, easily picking up on my blatant dismissal. _"Don't forget what I told you, though. Promise?"_

"I'll try," I replied, honestly. "Thank you for listening to me."

_"You can call anytime."_

I hung up, staring at the screen of my cell phone unblinkingly. It's not like Shisui had told me anything I wasn't knowledgeable of, but it had still felt relieving to express my fears and emotions out loud. More importantly, it had been comforting knowing that at least someone other than Sasuke and myself supported that madness.

I mentally did a quick re-play of my conversation with my cousin, musing that it never ceased to impress me how astonishingly well he could read me. We had been best of friends since babies, and he was the person who had seen me grow in ways others hadn't so, even more than Sasuke himself, Shisui knew sides of me no-one else did.

There was no lie to any of his words, though. No matter what I said, there was no doubt that Sasuke's effect on me both baffled and made me feel ecstatic. A part of me admonished me for looking at him - my own brother - in such a lewd way, but another part was hopelessly enchanted and seduced by the reckless fire in him.

For someone who had never felt such intense possessive love before, it was more than clear to me that we fit perfectly. My mind said that I should do something to placate that fire of his and keep him safe in a world where things wouldn't be so complicated, but my heart and my body urged me to set him ablaze and see how far he would burn, how much of me he could consume and how much of himself he would give.

I absently bit down on a thumb to distract myself from my heated thoughts.

I think, at least about this, there was only so much that Shisui could understand in his advocate words in favor of fighting for the beauty of love, no matter what its shape was.

Wasn't Shisui just being hypocritical when he had never truly fought for his own 'love'? Still, perhaps I was the one to blame for that since I hadn't given him many openings in that regard. I was a busy man and our relationship was good enough being uncomplicated as it was. Considering my feelings for Shisui had always been something that, much like my feelings for Sasuke, wasn't something I had ever entertained for several reasons. Some types of love were better off remaining easygoing and unburdened.

I sighed, feeling slightly guilty for making Shisui listen to my own hypocritical conflicts.

_He's a truly remarkable man, though,_ I thought, feeling my chest warm with fondness.

Even if I had prepared myself to never have Sasuke, I had not prepared myself to have him and then lose him, nor to want him so much that I wanted all of his attention and love to myself.

If given the choice, I would have chosen him to love and want him all over again, no hesitation and no remorse. My own morals did only go so far. What kind of person did that make me?

It was selfish indeed. I had accused Sasuke of being selfish and unmindful, but I was no better. Not when I knew I could easily steal Sasuke away from the world we knew and give up everything if he told me that was what he wanted.

Were we both so sane and so mindful of everything as Shisui thought? Was mindlessly indulging out of suppressed love the right thing to do?

And then what? Would Sasuke's love for me have the same weight against Naruto's heartwarming, carefree and safe love?

In the end, there were no answers to any of it and I knew that such a thing was, for me, unacceptable regardless of Shisui's advice to not overthink it. At some point, my mind would break.

Perhaps that was what I feared the most.

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you love this fic, please consider commenting! 
> 
> Find me on Twitter @NoChidoriUchiha
> 
> See y'all tomorrow!


	21. Chapter Twenty One - Extra: Shisui & Itachi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is dedicated to my lovely Beta MistyMi, who also beta read this chapter. Some light Itachi/Shisui that I hope everyone can enjoy!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!

**Assuming We…**

**Chapter Twenty One**

**Extra - Shisui & Itachi**

_Shisui’s POV_

My last day at my hometown had been spent in a dazed state. I was almost nineteen and on my way to attend college in Tokyo, and while the perspective of finally being able to be free enough to live life the way I wanted to was overwhelmingly exciting, there was a weight in my heart that I couldn’t let go of.

I don’t know what I’d been expecting, to be honest. Because I had always been an outstanding student and a child evaluated with an exceptional IQ, all my life I had been dealing with the pressure that I was supposed to become someone great. For years I had allowed myself to go with the flow while indulging my parents’ fantasies of all the well-accomplished paths I could pursue in the brilliant future ahead when, in the end, I had absolutely no fucking idea of what the hell I wanted to do with my life. 

Getting an amazing scholarship and going to college was merely an excuse for me to go away and see for myself what else the world had to offer because I really didn’t have anything in particular that appealed to me. 

By no means did I have a difficult childhood, no. School was nice, I made friends easily and could afford to be laid back in my own way. My parents were good people who made sure I had everything I needed and all those who carried the Uchiha name were tight, so the concept of a big ‘family’ and ‘love’ was something I grew up with. I had no complaints at all.

It was just that I felt completely detached from the image everyone had of me. I was expected to do amazing things, but all I wanted was to not think about the future.

All I knew, really, was that I was in love with two very different things - music, and my cousin and best friend, Uchiha Itachi, at the time, almost four years younger than me.

Filled with a somber sense of longing for something not yet lost, I spent that day completely alone by the riverbank, my acoustic guitar with me as I played song after song until my fingers started to hurt. I didn’t want to feel emotional, so it was easier being alone.

Even if I had grown up in that lively town, what made me feel sorrowful was not the idea of leaving but something completely different that I wasn’t sure if I should deal with. Avoiding it felt wrong, and it was killing me.

When I looked at the time, the sun was setting and it was past dinnertime. I grabbed my bike, intent on going home but my feet seemed to want to pedal towards a different direction and I decided that it was time to stop running away.

It was already dark by the time I stopped in front of the familiar house and knocked on the door.

“Shisui!” My aunt, Mikoto, greeted, smiling openly even though she seemed surprised. “We weren’t expecting you, honey!” She stepped aside, the action inviting. “Come inside! We finished dinner a while ago, but there’s leftovers...”

“That’s okay, I don’t want to bother,” I politely refused, rubbing the back of my neck with an embarrassed smile. “I was just wondering if I could talk to ‘Tachi? I just want to go for a walk with him; we’ll be back in a minute.”

My aunt seemed a bit taken aback by my request. “Don’t you have to get up early tomorrow?” She asked.

“Yeah, but…” In spite of my stupid self, I found myself blushing. “I just wanted to see him for a bit.”

Her eyebrows rose but she ended up chuckling. “I understand,” she said, with a soft nod. “He’s reading in his room; let me go get him.”

“You mind if I leave my guitar here?” I asked, stepping inside the house and closing the door behind me.

“Of course not,” my aunt said dismissively, before stepping out of the _genkan_ and making her way up the stairs. I took my cue and made the strap of my guitar slide up my body before carefully setting it on the floor, leaned against the wall. 

I didn’t know why my hands were sweating and why I felt so fidgety, but it was a persistent feeling that had been nagging me for a while now and I wanted to do something about it.

It didn’t take long for my aunt to come back down, Itachi trailing behind her wearing a dark red t-shirt and black shorts, his shoulder length hair tied in the back in a tiny ponytail as loose strands of hair framed his face. As usual, his expression was impassive, but his eyebrows quirked up inquisitively at me.

I swallowed hard before smiling openly at him. "Wanna go for a walk?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Sure. Let me just put on my sneakers.”

000

It was still summer, so the night was hot enough that we didn’t need to be wearing jackets. 

Itachi had been acting strange with me for a while now, so things had been strained between us, especially when I had announced the date of my departure to Tokyo.

As we slowly walked side by side down the street where he lived, the silence was heavy and yet, having him beside me provided the feeling of comfort and relief I had been craving for the whole day. Still, I couldn’t help but feel slightly restless as I watched him from the corner of my eyes - the way his lips were pressed tight together, his hands shoved inside the pockets of his shorts.

At fifteen, my best friend was an odd character - a paradox of constant contradictions that I had always been fascinated by. He wasn’t particularly well built back then, but his features had already been handsome, a mature seriousness to him that always made him feel slightly unapproachable. At school, he was polite and well behaved, the best student of his year, a class president and the top notch of the student council. As if this wasn’t enough, he studied the piano, was in the photography and archery clubs, and whenever he could, he would help at his parents’ bookstore. 

It seemed impossible to think that he could ever have free time in his hands, and yet, he somehow always managed to find some space in his busy schedule to both play with his little brother and hang out with me. I often wondered if he even slept.

But then, Itachi had another side to him that he kept only to the people closest to him. He was a boy who possessed an unshakable calmness and was probably the kindest person I knew, loving and giving beyond measure, always miraculously available to everyone who needed him. That was why everyone took a liking to him.

I often looked at Itachi, my cousin and best friend, and thought that he reminded me of myself at his age. However, if not for me, Itachi would’ve been this bookworm kid with no personal hobbies and no room for being a normal teenager, and this wasn’t because of any imposition from his parents - it was just the way he was.

One could say Itachi was the typical nerdy school prince. He had always been popular, yet didn’t consider anyone as a close friend, regardless of how nice he was to basically everyone.

Only with me could he be the type of kid who could be considered remotely normal. Or rather, I had forced him out of his shell by making sure he lived a little.

I often wondered how happy he was that I was part of his life.

“You look so sloppy,” I pointed out to ease the tension, teasingly tugging his ponytail and making him finally look at me with a reproachful look in his eyes. “Look at this mess; it’s not like you to be so careless.”

His hair had never been short like mine, but it had started growing out during summer vacations and he hadn’t really bothered to go cut it. 

“Stop it,” he retorted, slapping my hand away. “Don’t touch if you don’t like it.” 

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” I corrected, with a grin. “It suits you. I’m sure you’d look great with long hair.”

Itachi merely sighed.

I couldn’t help the wave of sadness and fondness that filled my chest. 

“What were you reading?” I asked, conversationally.

“The ‘Iliad’,” he replied.

“Figures you’d go reading such boring stuff,” I mocked, affectionately. “Although, aren’t Achilles and Patroclus kind of like you and me? Besties all the way.”

At this, a small smirk appeared on his lips. “Well, I certainly hope neither of us ever has to die for the other,” he retorted. “Alexander the Great liked to compare himself and Hephaestion to those two and it didn’t end up well for either of them, either.” 

“Historical gays always have such devastating endings,” I lamented, with an exaggerated sigh. Itachi snorted softly but didn’t reply.

For a moment, I watched him as I chewed on my lower lip. He was usually so open with me, so easy going and yet, I could tell he was angry at me, even if he didn’t say it, or openly show it in his expression. 

It’s not like I hadn’t considered Itachi’s feelings on this, or my own. Our age gap had never been an issue before, but as life progressed it became obvious that, for a while, our paths would diverge, and even if this didn’t make me happy, it wasn’t exactly something I could avoid.

I had a great desire to make sure our worlds could meet again, at some point, and for sure, Itachi knew, even without us talking about it.

"You're leaving tomorrow, right?" Itachi then asked, casually.

"Yeah, early in the morning," I said, feeling a little sheepish. "That's why I wanted to come and see you."

Itachi didn’t say anything for a few seconds. When I was opening my mouth to speak, he interrupted me. "Took you long enough."

I couldn’t help but feel myself tense at that. Of course he knew I had stopped myself from seeing him.

Sometimes, because he was younger, I liked to pretend that he wasn’t as sharp as I knew him to be.

“I’m sorry,” was all I could muster, and he didn’t bother to acknowledge my apology. 

We fell into a sort of shared solemn silence as we walked through the streets, the warm night considerably silent. I could hear a cricket somewhere in the distance.

After a while, we ended up automatically reaching the basketball court and I couldn’t help but stop in my tracks, looking at it through the metallic fence. Itachi and I had played there many times throughout the years, sometimes one on one, others joined by other kids, and the nostalgia warmed my heart.

"Ah, it would have been nice if I had brought my basketball with me," I said, smiling at Itachi desolately. "We could do a match for old times' sake."

Instead of commenting, Itachi turned away from the fence and leaned his back against it. "Do you have a smoke?" 

"Yeah, I only have one left, but you can have it,” I replied, taking my pack from the left pocket of my jeans. I pushed the lid backwards and extended the pack to him.

“Or we can share it?” he suggested simply, with a hand taking out both the last cigarette and the plastic lighter there.

“Okay, let me just throw this away.”

There was a trash bin nearby, so I made sure to make a quick travel towards it to throw the pack away before walking back to Itachi, who had already lit the cigarette. He extended me the lighter as I leaned my back on the fence beside him, and as I accepted it back, I couldn't help being too self-conscious of the fact that our fingers brushed softly. We were close enough that our arms were pressed together but, as expected, neither of us felt uncomfortable about the fact.

"Will you come live with me in Tokyo once you graduate?" I asked, looking at him as I shoved the lighter inside my pocket. 

"I don't know," he said, before taking a long drag on the cigarette. He leaned his head back against the fence, closing his eyes as he expelled the smoke. "I don't know what I want to do after graduating yet, but I know I don't want to become a doctor nor a lawyer, at least."

I smiled, my eyes taking in the relaxed expression on his correct features. "You should tell that to your dad."

"I will when I have my own convictions to back me up," he guaranteed, reopening his eyes and looking up at me. Silently, he raised the cigarette to my lips, and I leaned in to take a small drag. I noticed him observing me calmly in that firm calculating way that made him seem so much older than he was.

"We are so very similar, you and I," I said, expelling the smoke and locking eyes with him. "You think we're bound to be the family's disappointments? The prodigies who didn't want to pursue mighty careers?"

"Who knows," he said, with a careful shrug of his shoulders, bringing the cigarette to his lips again. "You're the smartest person I know, so I'm sure you'll do just fine. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters to me."

"I feel the same way about you," I muttered, unable to keep the affection from my voice.

"I know." For a few seconds, we merely eyed each other before he spoke again. “I’m not thinking stupid things like we’ll never talk to each other again or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking. I know you wouldn’t do that. Besides, we are family.”

“Yet, you’re angry,” I pointed out, softly. “Why? Will you be lonely without me?”

“No,” he denied firmly. “I have Sasuke so, with you gone, I can spend more time with him.”

“Ouch,” I said, bringing a hand to my chest as if wounded by his words. “You’re harsh. You can’t possibly tell me you won’t be missing your best friend when I know _I_ will be missing you.”

Itachi stared at me unblinkingly without saying a word, his beautiful eyes narrowing. Patiently waiting, I allowed my eyes to travel over his features again, wondering when exactly, had I started to think of him as something beautiful and unmistakably irreplaceable. I wouldn’t tell him this, though, neither would I ever tell him that it pained me to leave him behind.

But it did. I was never a quiet, reserved guy like him, but he had always been the single person that I had felt completely comfortable around, and the only person who knew me as well as I knew myself. He had always been privy to sides of me I never wanted to show to anyone else. 

All my feelings, my fears, my desires - he knew them all without reservations. 

Which was why I was certain that he had always known how I felt about him, as well.

“I _am_ sad that you’re going to Tokyo,” Itachi finally said, carefully, dark eyes scrutinizing again as if trying to read my expression. “But I’m happy for you, too. You’re a reliable person, so I know you’ll do just fine and finally do things the way you want to. you don’t need to worry about me, Shisui, or my feelings. It’s better if you don’t think about it at all.”

There he was, talking down on me as if he was all grown up and I was the one being immature about this. But, how could I not think about it? Even if I knew he’d be fine without me, and even if I knew that, thanks to Sasuke - his beloved younger brother that always seemed to be his number one priority - he wouldn’t feel lonely, I couldn’t bear the thought of him being sad.

It’s impossible to love someone for so long, always having them by your side and not feeling devastated by an impending separation. 

We had been together ever since we were kids and we saw each other almost every day, and even if he had been younger than me and I had felt the need to guide him and somehow protect him, I had never once looked at him as someone inferior or too young to keep up with me.

Biting on my lower lip, I moved so I was standing in front of him, the fingers of my left hand curling around the metal of the fence next to his head, my other hand picking up the cigarette he was holding and letting it fall to the ground, taking a mental note to pick it up before leaving. Then, I reached out and touched the tips of my fingers to his cheek. Itachi’s expression didn’t change, but his eyes seemed to sharpen up in awareness as he tilted his head up to look at me. I vaguely noticed that I was leaning over him and that our faces were too close. It was almost odd how much shorter he was than me at that point but that was, strangely enough, not something I had ever considered before because Itachi had always seemed so much more mature than me even.

For some strange reason, the anxiety I had been feeling before seeing him seemed inexistent now, the awkwardness that we had seemed to share in the last few minutes having vanished. Looking at him closely, I pushed my somber thoughts of sadness and loneliness away to focus on the empathy I felt towards him and on how comfortable I felt, even invading his space in such a demanding way. To my glee, Itachi seemed perfectly comfortable with my touch and the unexpected proximity. 

Leave it to him to never lose his composure, I thought, proudly.

"I like you," I said, my voice firm and full of conviction, surprising even me. "Not just as a friend or a younger brother. You know that, don't you?"

His reply was one I already expected. "I do."

I took a sharp intake of breath through my nose, my thumb brushing over his jaw in a gentle caress. "Is that okay with you?"

Itachi didn’t move away, nor flinched, instead eyeing me, evaluating, before his gaze softened. “That’s a stupid question,” he said simply. "I don't really mind being liked by someone like you."

I hesitated slightly. "I don't understand what you mean by that," I muttered.

This time, he did blink a few times as if processing my words. "It means I acknowledge your feelings," he explained, his voice having dropped a few curious octaves. "I don't appreciate those kinds of things coming from other people, but if it's you, then it's fine." 

“You don’t find it weird?” I couldn’t help but ask, wetting my lips with the tip of my tongue.

I felt my t-shirt being grabbed over my chest with one hand. Then, using the other hand, Itachi’s fingers came to wrap around my wrist and, for a moment, he nuzzled his cheek against the palm of my hand as he closed his eyes. “I’m okay with your liking me,” he confirmed in a whisper, but with an open honesty that made chills run down my spine. 

I was almost nineteen and yet, I found myself blushing violently at that fifteen year old smartass as my heart started beating wildly inside my chest. 

I felt my t-shirt being tugged down forcefully and before I knew it, Itachi was capturing my parted lips in his, the feel to them causing a wave of relief to wash over me as electricity seemed to course through my body.

Itachi kissed with an easy fluidity that was unfit for someone his age. The way his tongue indulgently slid inside my mouth was teasing, his fingers releasing the fabric of my t-shirt to move upwards so they were curling around the hairs at the back of my head meaningful as if he knew I wanted him to act possessive of me. His other hand let go of my wrist, so it was coming lower and slipping inside my t-shirt, touching my navel underneath, making me jolt slightly at the sensation before leaning towards the touch. I didn’t feel like I was the older one at all, instead releasing a soft moan against him as my entire body felt as if it was melting. He made an appreciative sound with his throat and I all but pressed my body to him, pinning him against the fence as his arm hugged me around the waist under my clothes. Itachi’s guts and curiosity never ceased to amaze me.

By no means was this the first time we did this. We had been each other’s first kiss - I had made sure of it - three years previously and from then on, it had happened a few times in some spontaneous moments that Itachi had indulged because it had probably felt good for him. We didn’t make it a habit of talking about it, just like we rarely ever spoke about our feelings for each other or where it might lead us someday, if it ever led us anywhere at all.

I knew Itachi enough to not make the mistake of wanting to bind him to me. I would never ask him to be mine in no shape or form, and he knew that I wouldn’t ever ask it of him - maybe that was why this was so easy between us.

Still, even if he was young and I was moving away from him, I wanted to carry with me the certainty that our bond would prevail and that, no matter what, I would always be someone special to him. Even if I knew that I didn’t need to ask, I was fine with him accepting whatever he saw fit amidst all that I wanted to give.

We didn’t need to talk about it, though, or waste time imposing terms or conditions - we both knew, even then, that we would always be there for each other.

Itachi had always been a strange person, his love quiet but clear and the few people that he did love were sure to feel that exclusiveness intensely. I knew _I_ did.

I can’t say that I desired him then - that was something that would come later, with his maturity and my own, too. Eventually, these kind, mild feelings of longing would burst into something less complicated and considerably more feral as I would be the one to openly show him what the world had to offer - what I could offer, as well, without restraints or demands, for as long as he wanted it.

But then, even if I was close to becoming a man, my feelings for him had always been strong, caring, highly protective as an older brother would feel for his younger brother and yet, I liked it when we kissed, and I longed for his touch, his love in all manners of comfort that it could provide. I knew I loved him, and knew he loved me, but his love would always allow him to only go so far, even at such a young age. Knowing this was both painful and fascinating.

I vaguely wondered if I’d ever be able to be privileged enough to have him all to myself, but it would take long for me to realize how way over my head that dream was.

We kissed for a while before I pulled away, short of breath. My body felt hot, and looking at him I could see that his own cheeks were a little red. When we looked at each other again, I could finally see a flash of sadness in his eyes that made my very soul ache.

With a sigh, I kissed his forehead before pulling him to me and putting my arms around him, letting my nose nuzzle his temple so I could take in that familiar, nostalgic scent that I hoped I could take with me and never forget.

I felt him hugging me back tightly, his face buried in my shoulder. “I’ll wait for you,” he said, his voice low, muffled. 

I understood the meaning behind his words well, and I knew those weren’t meant to be some corny love confession nor a promise - those were things Itachi would never do lightly. Still, I knew he meant it, and I could only smile.

“You don’t have to,” I whispered in his ear. “I’ll always give you anything you want, ‘Tachi, whenever you want it. All you have to do is ask.”

He merely shook his head from side to side. “I will,” it was all he said.

As we stood there, hugging each other and knowing that it would take a while before our paths would cross again as they once had, I was somehow certain that Itachi was my soulmate, and that I would never love another person how I loved him. Even back then I knew these were just frivolous and childish thoughts of a very intelligent young man who, at the end of the day, still knew nothing about the world, or love, but who allowed himself to be consumed by such deep feelings of a devotion that he knew wasn’t one completely one sided.

Even if I knew that I would always be the one to give more, I was willing to wait, too, because there was no-one else for me but him.

TBC...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment if you love this story! Readers' input feeds a writer's inspiration!
> 
> As you all might've been expecting, this story is finally matching the available chapters with ff.net. So now we wait for more updates, that hopefully will be released soon since I've started writing already ;)
> 
> See y'all soon!


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by the Lovely MistyMi from ff.net! Thank you for the hardwork my dear! <3<3<3

****

****

** Assuming We… **

****

** Chapter Twenty Two **

**_Sasuke’s POV_ **

Even if we had to wake up at such an ungodly hour, I still felt oddly refreshed the next day, even if a bit dazed. I couldn’t remember having fallen asleep in the first place since the last bits of the night had been a blur of clouded lust, but it had been a long day so apparently I had dropped dead as soon as Itachi had offered me an opening to sleep. 

Nevertheless, as soon as I woke up I was flooded by a wave of embarrassment because I couldn’t process that all the things I had done with him had been real. It had only been one day and already we’d crossed barriers that never in a million years would I have dreamt that I’d be able to cross. Something like this wasn’t even something I had allowed myself to _consider_ twenty four hours previously.

My love for Itachi had been bothering me for such a long time, my own ego crushed, frail because of how terrible I felt about myself because of such feelings, and yet, whenever I so much as felt his hands on me nothing else seemed to matter. 

It was something I couldn’t understand. Was ‘love’ such a simple, frivolous thing that was reckless in its indulging contentment? Was this enough that all it took was for two people to fall into each other to make everything else disappear and seem meaningless? 

In my lack of experience, it kind of shocked me that things like ‘love’ and ‘desire’ were so powerfully blinding that made people’s minds black out and not think rationally about anything else - like an all-consuming impulsiveness.

Despite myself, I had to wonder if, all along, this was what I had truly wanted from the very start, even when I was desperately trying to run away - from Itachi and myself. I certainly hadn't ever expected us to be so sexually compatible.

It’s difficult to turn your back on someone who fits you like a perfectly tailored suit - someone that, no matter how you look at it and how many cons there are stopping you from being together, sets you on fire and exposes parts of you that you thought you’d wanted to keep hidden. 

I knew this was just the beginning, and that things were far from being simple or easy between us; but when we were like that - lost in each other - it sure felt like it. 

I had never been a particularly shy person, but my own shamelessness had taken me by surprise. I hadn’t expected for it to be so easy to fall into a sexual atmosphere with my brother at all, and yet, I had been easily carried by my own whims and been aggressively demanding of him. There was a hunger in me I had not known until then, and the fact that he complied so easily made it all the more enrapturing. I felt so over the moon that I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever grow tired of it. 

For as much as I had tried to escape, I realized that there wasn’t a single thing about me that I felt like I wanted to hide from Itachi because it was easy to want to expose myself to him. Maybe this was just me eagerly wanting to finally tear down the barriers between us so we could go back to being brutally empathetic towards each other.

After all, if there was one person who knew everything about me and probably knew me better than I knew myself, that was him.

Itachi woke up not in a bad mood per se, but he was quiet, and a little out of sorts since the alarm clock had ringed fifteen minutes after the supposed set time.

In a bit of a hurry, we showered (separately, still) and got ready to leave. I was unsure of how long we’d be away from Tokyo, so I took my suitcase with me just in case considering I hadn’t even unpacked yet. We were supposed to be in Kyoto for two days, and on the third (on Christmas eve) we would be returning to Tokyo after lunch.

I had put on normal daily clothes but Itachi had, surprisingly, put on a pair of warm black sweatpants and a red hoodie with some sneakers, tying his hair up messily in a bob that he covered with a cap. I have to admit that, in all 17 years of my existence, I had never seen him dressed in such a way. It’s not as if my brother always dressed impeccably - he did enjoy being carelessly casual sometimes - but _that_ was not usual for him, at least to my knowledge.

I couldn’t help but snort because, even if he could pull off the look, it was still a funny sight for someone like him. 

“I have some training to do as soon as we reach Kyoto,” Itachi had explained, as I chuckled. “It’s easier if I’m already in proper attire than if I have to go and change. It’s going to be a fast paced day, Sasuke.”

Either way, I suppose it was harder for him to be recognized in the streets wearing that.

Kisame picked us up to drive us to the airport, and I was a bit surprised when he told me that he wouldn’t be tagging along since he was my brother’s manager. 

At some point before this, Itachi had worked for a talent company - the one where he had started doing his first couple of commercials, photoshoot sessions and small jobs in television. That same company had been the one that got him the role in that cheesy soap opera that made people notice him and that allowed him to make some serious money. 

However, after this, with Itachi being showered with new projects, he decided to leave the company and try to fend for himself. Kisame, who had been managing his career projects in said company at the time, had gladly followed him to be his right hand man and help him organize his busy schedule and the ridiculous demands coming from all sides.

I wasn’t very knowledgeable of how things worked in the industry my brother was in. Thanks to him I had been able to go to a few plays he’d been in, photoshoots, events and parties even before becoming a model myself. However, his world as a career, albeit fascinating, was still a mystery to me. 

Since Itachi always managed to clear his schedule when we were together, I honestly had no idea what twenty four hours of his daily life looked like. We talked a lot over the phone and texted each other, but I always felt like Itachi kept a lot of things from me, maybe to prevent me from being burdened with guilt for bothering him, or maybe he simply didn’t want me getting disenchanted by it all since he knew I wanted to have a go at it at some point.

At the airport I realized that Itachi’s mood was caused by exhaustion since we ended up having to sit down and wait for the call to embark the plane and he basically leaned his head on my shoulder and promptly fell asleep. Just like that, as if someone had pressed an ‘off’ button on him. 

When I woke him up he composed himself as if he hadn’t fallen asleep at all.

However, after we got on the plane, he put his seatbelt on, leaned against me again with his arms crossed over his chest, and was instantly asleep, once more without uttering a single word.

I watched him for a while, wondering if he’d been that tired already or if he hadn’t slept well the previous night. I knew he’d taken the day to welcome me back to Tokyo, but I didn’t know how tired he’d been beforehand, or how many days he’d been working already. Spending the day with me was sure to have been emotionally draining, and all the action during nighttime had certainly taken its toll. If I had been tired, I could only imagine how he’d felt.

I wondered if Itachi had been so eager during intimacy because he had a lot of stamina that not even I was used to. I mean, if he’d been tired, how would he perform if he’d been in full shape? The thought alone made blood rush up to my cheeks.

Naruto had outstanding stamina, too, but it’s not as if he and I had an easy time being in a situation where we could just freely go at it several times over, so I couldn’t really tell how far we could go until there was nothing left. 

Being with Itachi had been new and surprising, but also overwhelmingly good. I had considered myself to be a sexually active person, with a strong libido and considerably knowledgeable, but quite frankly, I had never been provoked so much to the point where I found myself unable to go soft until exhaustion took over. With Itachi I realized how inexperienced I was, and how much I still had to learn, and we really hadn’t done much.

It was difficult not to think about it, though. I wondered where Itachi had learned certain things and how many lovers he’d already had. Did he fuck mostly men, or women? Did he behave similarly or was he more ruthless with men?

Thinking about it made my chest burn in annoyance, yet, I couldn’t help it. Even if I knew that this person was my brother I suddenly felt like I was currently on my way to meeting someone completely different. I wondered if he thought the same thing about me. 

Had I surprised him, too, somehow? Had he been shocked by me - by my shameless straightforwardness?

In a way, I suppose this was a good thing. Maybe because there were so many sides of each other we didn’t know, it became easier to forget the blood that connected us. 

Still, Itachi was my brother and I loved him as such. If anyone asked me if I would prefer that we weren’t blood related, I don’t think I’d ever consider it as an option just so we could be lovers without obstacles. I wouldn’t give up his connection to me in exchange for anything. 

From a rational point of view, this should be enough to make me want to protect our connection as brothers, right? The fact alone that we were both men was already socially burdening enough, why add incest to it to make it even worse? Why was I even accepting this, letting myself go and burying myself deeper in something that had no future?

And to think that I had been rejecting these feelings for months.

Even if I had no idea what to do, a part of me hoped that, sooner or later, things would become clearer and we could find a way for it to work, somehow. In my young mind, I even dared to hope that Naruto could fit into the equation, too, but I knew it was too much to ask; too much selfishness and greed on my part.

Itachi was so out of it he didn’t even flinch as the plane took flight. 

Sighing, I pressed a small kiss to the top of his head before looking out the window, at the still dark sky outside. 

Itachi slept soundly throughout the hour and a half long trip, unperturbed by turbulence, other people’s chattering or even my own occasional shifts of position because he was heavy, and I wasn’t exactly comfortable. He didn’t even wake up as we landed. I had to give him a slight push to make him open his eyes. 

As easily as before, he composed himself and we disembarked. By then he seemed to be in a much better mood, something was relieved about. It wouldn’t be a good day otherwise.

000

“Have you considered your sexuality at this point?”

Itachi’s question came as a surprise to me and I looked away from the window of the car we had rented and at him, who kept his eyes trained on the road, both hands on the steering wheel as he drove us to Kyoto. It was still very early in the morning, but the sun had already risen over the horizon, even if the world seemed so blissfully quiet. 

The day was cold, but it was sunny, and I had silently been enjoying the landscape. 

“Only enough to know I’m not straight,” I replied, watching my brother’s profile curiously. “I haven’t given it much thought, to be honest.”

For a few seconds, my brother seemed thoughtful. “It’s not like you need to label yourself, but at some point you need to understand what you're going for,” he said, casually. “You dated girls all your life; now you’re involved with two men, and that was easy for you to accomplish. You understand what I’m saying?”

“I’m not sure it’s a matter of preference but more about the situations that led me to be with both genders?” I muttered, with a small shrug of my shoulders. “I didn’t dislike being with girls, but… I don’t know; maybe because I was never in love with my girlfriends those relationships feel empty when I think about them, so, it’s different now.”

“Different how?” Itachi asked, sounding genuinely interested. “Different because now you’re with men? Or are there differences between Naruto and me when compared to the girls?”

Even if his words were simple, I instantly knew that to be a tricky question, full of traps. Itachi was trying to have me compare him and Naruto so he could understand what weighed more in my eyes - he didn’t care about my feelings for those girls at all. 

I couldn’t possibly do that, so I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

I tried not to sigh. I wondered when, or if, Itachi would ever stop trying to evaluate my feelings for him and compare them to the ones I had for Naruto. From a logical point of view, I understood what was so confusing and upsetting to him about this, but at the same time, our situation was already delicate enough and I wished that he could value the strength of what we had and my feelings for him alone. Regardless of how easy it had been for us to be sexually intimate, it’s not like I’d simply thrown myself at him without previous consideration - after all, I’d been holding back for a whole year.

“I don’t think I ever told you this, but for a long time I didn’t care about relationships, girls or dating,” I replied instead, avoiding his question on purpose, slumping more in my seat and crossing my arms over my chest. I looked onwards at the road before us. “I only started dating because mom kept making jokes about when I’d get a girlfriend. I had many girls confessing to me, so I thought, why not. Let’s date. Let’s have sex and see what’s so great about it that everyone wants to do it.”

I snorted bitterly. “Sex is fun, but dating was really boring, Itachi,” I confessed, tilting my head back. “I’m not usually the kind of guy who has sex without being committed. Girls are very demanding, and I don’t particularly like that. I’m not the image of someone’s ‘type’. I’m not supposed to act as an idealized prince charming.”

“It can’t be helped if you’re popular,” Itachi commented, soothingly. “Also, you’re not easy to get to know, so it’s normal that they’d create their own conceptual image of you.”

I chanced a glance at him, whose eyes were still fixed on the road. I couldn’t help the fleeting thought that, even with that fucking messy bun at the top of his head with hair sticking out in every direction he looked frustratingly handsome.

“Dating people to forget about how you feel for someone else sounds stupid, I know,” I continued. “That’s what I did when I understood my feelings for you. Sex isn’t something I ever found complicated, and I was desperate. I thought, as long as I can keep my mind occupied I’ll be fine.”

“Did Naruto keep your mind occupied?” Itachi asked, his tone even. “Is that how you managed to fall in love with him?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t ask tricky questions,” I retorted.

“I’m not,” he denied, seriously. He paused before asking, “Did you question your sexuality when you realized how you felt for me?”

“No, because it didn’t have a sexual connotation to it yet, it was just… a lot of emotion,” I explained, somehow feeling my cheeks heating up as I looked away from him and to my lap. “I found you alluring but didn’t allow myself to think about you in a sexual way. It never crossed my mind to jerk off to thoughts of you, for example; that was completely off limits. I didn’t think that it was a sexuality thing, that it was because you were a man; I just thought I felt that way because it was _you_. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“No, I understand,” Itachi assured me, softly. 

“Well, for sure I had unconsciously accepted _something_ inside my mind because it was easy being physical with Naruto from the start,” I proceeded. “So, I don’t think it’s a matter of whether I prefer girls or boys, it’s just that, so far, I have better memories with… well, guys.”

“Naruto and I, “Itachi concluded, sounding a little patronizing.

“Yeah.”

“And you don’t feel attraction for others of the same gender?”

“I don’t exactly look at people like that,” I explained with a huff because, honestly, stupid as it may seem, I hadn’t really considered these things. “I don’t look at girls or guys and think ‘oh, I’d fuck them’. I can see if a person is attractive, but I don’t automatically waste mental time on them.”

“You’re not usually attracted to people in general, are you?”

“Not at all,” I admitted. “I don’t think it’s difficult to have sex, though. It’s not hard getting an erection. I just don’t really feel attraction very easily.”

“Maybe you’re just a regular bisexual, bordering a little on demisexual,” Itachi suggested.

I licked my lips, looking at him. “My sexuality is not really something that I lose my sleep over, Itachi.”

“You didn’t answer my question, though.” Itachi’s hands lightly caressed the steering wheel but he didn’t look at me. “About whether Naruto and I are different.”

I couldn’t help but huff again. Itachi knew the answer to this very well. He knew me well, knew my train of thought, knew I never said things light-heartedly, so why was he trying to trap me?

Then again, maybe it was exactly because I had always been honest that it made him feel uneasy, but it’s not like I could be any different. If I lied to him and simply said what he wanted to hear, he would see right through me, and if I simply did what he wanted me to do, he would know. It was a double edged sword, and I didn’t really know how to handle it yet.

“Of course, you’re different,” I chose to say, softly. “But you can’t ask me to compare you two. You’re my brother; he’s my friend. I was in love with you from the start, while I had a developing relationship with him. I love you both in different ways and for different reasons.”

“I see.” Without looking at me, Itachi casually scratched the side of his nose with a finger, his lack of further elaboration letting me know I had somehow said something that upset him. 

I frowned at him. “Itachi,” I said, in a reproachful tone. “Don’t think about unnecessary stuff.”

“I’m not,” he denied, once more casually. “I’m simply not very knowledgeable of the concept of romantic love, it seems. There are things I’m still trying to understand because, right now, I can’t seem to wrap my mind around them.”

“You can’t seem to wrap your mind around a lot of things,” I couldn’t help but point out seriously and, truth be told, a little pissed. “But I guess I should expect it since you haven’t been struggling with this the same way I did.”

Itachi threw a silent glance at me, his expression slightly surprised but with a hint of annoyance.

"I already told you we were on the same boat," he said, reproachfully. "We simply dealt with it differently."

I pressed my lips together and didn't reply. After a few seconds of silence, he allowed himself to heave a small sigh. 

"It’s not as if I’m doubting your sincerity, but I do think that the both of us are clouded by this intensity of the novelty of love," Itachi explained, slowly. "Spending time together, being intimate, and engaging in sexual activities. It's all very overwhelming and I think it's easy to bask in it carelessly. Regardless, the bigger picture is considerably vaster than just this, Sasuke."

I bit down on my lower lip, contemplating him. “Because we’re brothers, both men, and I’m underage?” I poked, a little bitterly. “We’ve gone through this already.”

“Yes,” my brother confirmed, his voice having become oddly neutral. “No matter how much you idealize it, you and I will never be able to have anything like what you have with Naruto, no matter how nice we have it behind closed doors.”

I inhaled sharply. “I keep wondering if your issue is us as we are at this point or Naruto,” I muttered, shaking my head from side to side. 

“Yes,” he repeated.

I groaned feeling suddenly tired. Pressing my lips tightly together again, I looked out the window. “Maybe it would be easier if I lied to you,” I muttered. “If I told you I’m one hundred percent sure you’re all I want, that I’m willing to go through hell for us, and that I don’t have feelings for someone else.”

“I’m sure fifty percent of that would be true,” Itachi said, carefully. “I don’t want you to lie to me and, as I said, I don’t doubt your feelings, as I hope you don’t doubt mine. I just doubt both of our abilities to handle this situation properly. It’s too much of a mess as it is already, and it becomes even worse when you happen to have feelings for someone else.”

“You have feelings for your lover, too, don’t you?” I asked, looking back at him. 

“That’s why I’m no better.” Itachi chewed on his upper lip, thoughtfully. “Although, I’m not in a relationship. Still, Sasuke, regardless of how the both of us deal with our respective lovers, the two of us still can’t think that ‘love’ is enough to make everything alright.”

I couldn’t find the strength to debate on this anymore. I could hear the conflicting thoughts going through Itachi’s mind and I knew there was nothing I could do or say to change this train of thought.

After the amazing night we’d had just a few hours previously, this made me feel unavoidably sad. 

Itachi was right when he said that we didn’t know what to do and that our feelings weren’t enough - but they should, at least, be the foundation of hope for something more, something better; maybe even something executable.

It hurt that a part of me already knew how this was going to go based on Itachi’s fucking hypocritical morality (that he only used when sex wasn’t involved mind you). Still, there was nothing I could really do but let him have his way and see our reality (or the possibility for it) for himself.

“How did you find out you were pansexual?” I asked, immediately changing the subject because I knew we’d probably end up fighting if we continued talking about us.

Itachi didn’t seem fazed. “A person’s sexuality doesn’t have to be a romantic or dramatic concept,” he said easily (maybe glad to talk about something else too), in his polite conversational tone now. “I learned to separate sex from emotions very easily when I first got to Tokyo, and in the world of arts, we meet many different kinds of people. I suppose I came to understand that there is beauty in the unusual, and perfection in things that are deemed imperfect by society’s standards. When you are only capable of seeing the beauty and forget about details, I guess that makes one pansexual. It’s all about the person rather than their sexuality or gender.”

“Right,” I muttered, looking down at my hands a little thoughtfully. “I don’t think I am that mindful of others to see that extent of beauty. Although, I can understand the part about liking someone exclusively for _who_ they are rather than _what_ they are.”

Wasn’t that what was happening to us, in a sense?

“That’s why separating one sexuality type from another is important,” Itachi said, maybe purposefully not elaborating. “What is complicated to you feels easy for me. But then again, life teaches you many things.”

“You lost your virginity in Tokyo, right?” I questioned, looking back at him.

“Yes; I was eighteen,” he replied, taking a second to exchange glances with me rather inquisitively. “Even if I did have several flings after that, my first time didn’t happen as spontaneously as it did with you, though. Even if the timing was unexpected, I had premeditated it, and it happened how it should, with someone who made sense to me.”

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. “You don’t need to be harsh; you already knew I wasn’t attached to the person I first had sex with,”

“It still bothers me, nonetheless.” Itachi made a smacking sound with his lips, slightly annoyed. “How old were you? Fifteen?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed, with a small smirk, remembering how pissed he had been over the phone two years previously when I had first told him. “You know it wasn’t that interesting or memorable, though. I do wish I had planned it differently, and with someone who had been more relevant. At least you got the upper hand on that one, huh?”

A small smirk appeared on Itachi’s lips. “You can ask if you want to know who it was.”

I blinked at him, considering his words for a few seconds. “Do I know them?” I ended up asking.

“Yes,” my brother replied, unhesitant.

Despite myself, I swallowed hard. While I wanted to know who Itachi’s lover was, something inside of me rebelled against the possibility of knowledge of such a fact, least of all if it was someone I knew. Before, I had thought that I’d be fine, but suddenly I felt…

“Never mind,” I muttered, looking out the window again.

“Are you scared that you might get jealous if I tell you who it is?” Itachi asked, thankfully without teasing.

“Jealousy would be a hypocritical feeling considering my situation with Naruto,” I said, dryly. He merely scoffed but didn’t comment further.

Itachi was right - I was definitely scared. But what was I scared of? 

I knew Itachi probably didn’t need to find someone terribly interesting if he just wanted a casual lay, but for him to have a steady lover - even if not in a an actual romantic relationship - that person would have to be someone who lived up to his high standards at least to a certain point, and that was already saying enough. I could definitely think of a few people that would be suitable for the role, and yet a specific one kept popping to mind unavoidably but I didn’t allow myself to be tormented by it - I didn’t want to consider it at all.

We were quiet for a few minutes that were both tense and comfortable. This kind of atmosphere had been familiar for over a year now, but the things causing it seemed to have changed. Somehow, the way it felt hadn’t. 

I couldn’t exactly understand how the present day contrasted with the day before, and yet, in a way, it felt sort of relieving that the air wasn’t charged with a conflicting sexual energy. It was definitely a bit easier to breathe like this. 

After a while, I felt the weight of a hand falling over the back of mine and I looked down to see slender fingers squeezing mine, almost reassuringly, over my thigh.

“You think too much about unnecessary things, and too little about what’s really important,” Itachi said, carefully. “Regardless, if I ever had to choose between you and everyone else I love, I would always choose you alone, without a second thought. No matter what happens between us, I hope you can always go back to this conversation and remember this.”

With one final sigh, I turned my hand so my palm was facing upwards so I could intertwine our fingers together. “I will.”

However, even if I said this, I hoped that I never had to revisit that line for unfortunate reasons.

For the moment, I was glad just being given the chance to live in Itachi’s world and having from him what no-one else had.

**_Naruto’s POV_ **

I stood in front of the show window of the jewelry store on that cold morning, thoughtfully browsing through the items on display as I waited for Kiba. Christmas was close and I still had a bunch of people I needed to find gifts for. It was a pain in the ass. Vaguely, I considered that I should’ve asked for Sasuke’s help before he’d gone to Tokyo. I wondered if Sasuke would get all the gifts from there, which made sense, plus, he was with Itachi - the guy would certainly help him pick the best and most awesome gifts being such a perfectionist. 

I sighed. Speaking of Sasuke, I had no idea what to get him. It wasn’t as if he was a person difficult to please - he would politely appreciate whatever I got for him, I was sure - but I wanted to get him something more than ‘okay’, I just didn’t know what.

My eyes landed on the rings’ section and I couldn’t help but be drawn to the shiny steel ones. I could already see Sasuke smirking and saying, ‘cliché much?’. Thinking about it made me miss him.

A part of me wanted to get something like that for us, yet I couldn’t help but ask myself if something like this was even okay to consider. Even if Sasuke and I had told our friends about our relationship, and even if it felt like things were becoming considerably more serious, there were still details that were blurred. 

Sasuke was going to talk to the person he liked - who, apparently, liked him back - and they were going to solve things between them. I had no idea where that would lead them, but I convinced myself that I was ready for every possible outcome. 

Only I didn’t know if that was true.

Really, I had been so naïve and overconfident, thinking that I had perfect control over everything and that I could take whatever came at me; only I hadn’t expected to actually fall in love back then. While I had been serious about giving this relationship a try, a part of me had thought that I was just in it for a good time and that it’d be okay if Sasuke dumped me at some point. 

Well, it _wasn’t_ okay because I liked him and was more than happy with what we had. I didn’t like it at all that he was out there with someone else, but I couldn’t just tell him not to pursue something he thought would be impossible until recently. 

It bothered me that I didn’t know the full story behind that. I knew I couldn’t demand that Sasuke tell me every little detail, but not knowing was frustrating. I kept wondering if it would be easier to accept, to cope with if I had something clearer to justify this situation. 

I knew Sasuke liked me back. I also knew Sasuke cherished our relationship dearly but, in the end, was it enough for him to want to be with me? To choose me over some guy that lived a few hours away from him?

I knew Sasuke wanted to go to Tokyo after graduating. He’d apply to college there and start a whole new period of his life - with or without me. This was also something we hadn't exactly talked about yet, but we would need to figure it out at some point. Maybe Sasuke would start a relationship with that person after graduating. I didn’t want to think about it, but it was unavoidable. Maybe things would change as soon as Sasuke returned. 

Sasuke wasn’t someone I wanted to lose as a lover; I had come to care for him too much. 

But looking at those rings I so wanted to get, I wondered if I was allowed to hope that he would want to be with me in the end and that we could at some point, soon, come out to everyone. I knew it would be difficult for him, but I wanted to be the one there to help when it happened.

“Naruto?”

The familiar - yet deeper than I recalled - voice made me jolt slightly as I straightened my back and looked to the side to see a familiar face walking towards me on the sidewalk.

My eyes widened slightly. “Neji?” I said disbelievingly, turning as said person approached me with a small smile of perfect teeth showing. 

“I knew it was you the moment I spotted you,” Neji said politely, coming to a halt in front of me. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, a little astonished. I gave him a once over, feeling a bit overwhelmed at seeing him there so unexpectedly. It had been two whole years since we’d last seen each other and he looked older, considerably more mature with his long black coat, polished shoes and long sleek, brown hair loose over his shoulders. His intelligent grey eyes were still of an abnormally clear hue, almost white, and I couldn’t deny that the snob bastard looked more handsome than ever. 

For some reason, I couldn’t repress the onslaught of memories that assaulted me in a flash.

“You look well,” Neji commented, conversationally.

“You look good, too,” I muttered, swallowing the sudden dryness in my throat down. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to spend Christmas with my family,” Neji said easily, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his coat. “Everyone will be gathering at my mother’s place, so I thought it would be suitable if I attended.”

God, even his cocky speech pattern hadn’t changed.

Clearing my throat, I looked away from him. “Okay.”

I felt him watching me thoughtfully for a few seconds. “You’ve grown,” he noticed. “You’re finally almost as tall as me.”

I couldn’t find the will to say anything. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to be funny or ease the tension in the air, but I honestly didn’t know how to react. It’s not like I was angry at him or anything, I just genuinely didn’t know how we were supposed to interact at this point, which was weird since his family had been acquainted to mine for a long time and we used to be close. _Very_ close.

Still, I wonder how much I had known him back then.

“Browsing for Christmas gifts?” Neji asked easily, clearly intent on making conversation.

“No, I’m just waiting for Kiba,” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and still not looking at him. “How’s college?”

“Good.” He paused, again, taking a while before speaking. “Are you still angry? About before?”

I felt my heart clench at his words, and this forced me to look into his eyes. “I’m not angry at you,” I said, with a shrug of my shoulders. “We broke up on good terms, so we’re okay.”

He frowned. “You rarely reply to my texts,” Neji said, but not reproachfully so, and his tone, kind and careful wasn't something all that familiar to me. "I thought we were supposed to be friends."

I bit down on my lower lip. "It's hard being friends with you," I admitted, maybe a little too crudely. "I just didn't think we should interfere with each other's lives anymore."

To my surprise, Neji actually looked regretful. "I know I wasn't the most pleasant person back then, and I never really got the chance to properly apologize," he said, apologetically. "But I am sorry that I ever made you feel uncomfortable, Naruto. We were good friends and I ruined that."

I sighed, feeling my muscles rigid with tension. I have to admit that this surprised me a little because, in the past, he would never apologize for anything.

"I liked you, so you weren't unpleasant, you just…" I huffed, and closed my mouth before it ran off, shaking my head from side to side. "It doesn't matter anymore, Neji. There’s really nothing to forgive."

Neji and I exchanged a long look in silence, both trying to read each other and failing miserably. He had always been a strangely inscrutable person, and even now, it was difficult to see what was on his mind, and considering I had grown up, I now knew how to shield myself from his own evaluating gaze. Looking into his eyes like this, I felt annoyed at myself that I could still find him breathtakingly beautiful, the way his hair billowed gently in the breeze making him look oddly ethereal. Haku had been beautiful, too, but while he’d been androgynous (yet strong), Neji was a very masculine guy. 

Now that I thought about it, I wondered if I had dated Haku because he reminded me of Neji but was a more… polished and kinder version of him.

Regardless of how things had turned out for us, in the end, the guy in front of me had been my first love and such things are a little difficult to forget. I didn’t exactly have feelings for him at that point, but I still felt _things_ I thought I had forgotten, and it pissed me off.

“I didn’t know how to show it back then, neither did I have the courage to express my feelings as I should have, but I did like you back then, as well,” Neji said, softly. “Very much so. Looking at you now, you look so much older and so different from then. I always wanted to tell you that I wished I had done things differently. But you never really let me.”

God, _where_ was Kiba? Lately it felt like everything was happening all the same time and this wasn’t a situation I was comfortable with for many reasons I didn’t need to debate on.

Neji and I hadn’t seen each other since he’d gone to college two years previously. Our last encounter was still fresh in my mind and I didn’t want to hang onto it at all. Just thinking about it made my body heat up and my stomach churn from embarrassment. 

Why the fuck was I blushing at a time like this? 

I certainly didn’t need Neji back in my life.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to express your feelings,” I muttered, a little snappily. “You said it now, though, and I appreciate it. But I’m seeing someone, so this is really uncalled for.”

“I’m seeing someone, too,” Neji said, rolling his eyes at me and looking slightly offended. “I’m not trying to get in your pants, Naruto. I was just glad we got to meet, and I wanted to get my feelings across. I never wanted for things to end the way they did.”

This made me feel slightly guilty. Was I being childish? Had I been childish all along by trying to avoid him since he left? This legally adult man who had once been my _senpai_ at school was not someone I knew how to deal with anymore. It was the same person, standing there in front of me, yet, it felt like a completely different being altogether and I didn’t want to feel curious about him, or empathetic when it was so much easier to resent him. 

It’s not like I hated him, no. It was thanks to my admiration for Neji that I realized I wasn’t straight. In fact, I had been so infatuated by his looks and had loved him so blindly to the point where I had allowed him to do everything he wanted, letting him control our relationship the way he saw fit. Neji had been my first lover, and the single one no-one, not even my parents, knew about. 

Breaking up with him had been really painful to my young heart - that dramatic devastating end to a passionate first love that I had hoped would last forever. Thinking about it back then, it had felt like the world was about to end, and I had cried so much I thought I might die. When he left for college, even if we were no longer together, I felt like a part of myself had been ripped off.

Neji had gone through the motions in such a poised, almost casual way that it had hurt me even more. Had those months of us dating meant nothing to him?

Of course, this was just overdramatized teenage angst because I managed to move on and find other lovers, other people to have sex with and feel good with, other people to love. Neji surely must’ve felt bitter in his own way, he just hadn’t expressed it the way I did.

Plus, yes, I had effectively been ignoring him all along, thinking it was what was best for me.

Despite our three year difference, he hadn’t been a cruel lover, quite the contrary - I had been lucky that someone calm and thoughtful like him had been my first. It was simply that he wanted things to go his way and I got tired of it. We weren’t bad together, but maybe because we had both been too young in a secretive relationship, things hadn’t fallen into place where they should’ve. 

I groaned, rubbing the back of my neck with a hand. “Sorry, Neji, I didn’t mean to be rude,” I apologized, making a face. “I just… don’t really know how to face you at this point. It’s not like I’m not glad to see you or anything.”

Neji all but released a sigh, tucking another strand of loose hair behind his ear. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, so I’ll be on my way,” he then said, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’m glad I got to see you, though. My phone number is still the same. I’ll be around until new year’s so give me a call if you feel like hanging out. In public spaces, I mean, just so we’re clear about that.”

His small smirk gave the nuance in his words a playful hint, and I couldn’t help but release an embarrassed chuckle. “Sure.”

With one final smile and a nod of his head, Neji walked past me and went on his way. Despite myself, I turned around to watch him go, feeling strangely lightheaded all of a sudden. That situation had felt surreal.

With a sigh, I shoved my hands inside the pockets of my jacket and glanced at the showcase beside me again. It was weird, realizing that a part of me still held feelings for Neji, even if they were unrelated to the type of feelings I used to have. Maybe that would never go away, and maybe that was alright. 

I didn’t know how to feel, though. Did I really expect to never see him again once he went to college, even if our families were from the same hometown?

It was no use thinking about how things could’ve been anymore, because, at this point, I needed to think about how things would go from then on, and that was all that mattered.

Scratching the top of my head vigorously in frustration, I fished out my mobile phone to check for incoming texts. I had one from Kiba saying he was almost there, but none from Sasuke. Apart from the one he’d sent me a little before arriving at Itachi’s place the previous day I hadn’t heard from him at all and it was starting to make me feel a little queasy for some reason. Supposedly they should be in Kyoto at that point already, so why wasn’t he saying anything? Why hadn’t he said anything anymore during the previous day? This wasn’t usual at all.

Unavoidably, I wondered if, for some reason, Sasuke had found a way to meet _that_ person already. Maybe things had gone further than expected and now he felt unsure of how to approach me on the subject - because, yes, he was that kind of person and he wouldn’t keep it from me for long.

Just thinking about it made my insides churn, though.

Biting on my lower lip, I contemplated calling him to check up on him but then remembered him telling me that Itachi would be shooting that day so maybe it wasn’t exactly appropriate. 

_You’re being an idiot_ , I thought to myself, trying to get my shit together. 

Resolutely, I shoved my mobile phone back inside the pocket of my jacket and made my way inside the jewelry store.

TBC...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A whole new chapter for you guys! I hope you have enjoyed it, even if this one isn’t as big as the previous ones.
> 
> Next chapter will be mostly focused on Itachi (and his career) and Sasuke, but there will be a special moment between Sasuke and Naruto too ;)
> 
> By the way, do we want more Neji? I know I do ;)
> 
> Again, I want to thank all of you for reading and for supporting and loving this story for what it is! 
> 
> Don’t forget to comment! Feedback feeds my muses!
> 
> See you guys soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave constructive criticism ;)


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